Funeral travel
Funerals are a significant source of last-minute travel plans. Memorial services are often scheduled at a later date, after cremation or burial.
Get in
If the event is not within reasonable driving distance, then most people will need to travel by air or train. Last-minute airfare can be quite expensive, especially during peak travel times. On the other hand, a discount travel website might have very good deals, especially if there happens to be a mostly empty flight departing the next day. In the U.S. and Canada, very few airlines still offer bereavement or compassion fares (small discounts on ticket prices for people traveling to funerals); these discounts are usually smaller than what you would get by looking for the cheapest prices on a travel website, but offer flexible tickets in case you need to change your travel plans. Additionally, some airlines offer flexible travel dates.
Sometimes, such as the day before a major holiday, there might not be any seats available on your route at any price. In that case, consider nearby airports. A trip to a different airport, followed by some extra time on the road, might be able to get you there when your first search looked hopeless.
If driving is a realistic option, then consider whether you should be driving yourself. A sudden attack of grief while driving could result in serious injuries for yourself or others. Consider taking a bus or asking a friend to drive. Agencies for older people might be able to connect you with a volunteer driver.
Stay
The family home, a hotel, or a last-minute group house rental? It depends partly on whether you think that you'll want more space to yourself, or if you will be comforted by being surrounded by other people.
If you are traveling to attend the funeral but have no particular responsibilities, then your stay might be relatively short and predictable. However, if you are a close family member or friend, then you may have some difficulty in predicting your return date.
Respect
Dress
In most of the world, people attending funerals are expected to wear dark, relatively formal clothing, such as a black or dark-colored business suit. Clothing, shoes and jewelry should generally be plain. In some cultures, family members are prescribed specific colors of clothing to wear, such as blue for Chinese people who are attending a grandparent's funeral. Wearing clothes of colors associated with happiness and good fortune (e.g., red in Asia, white in Africa) is generally inappropriate, although in some instances, it will be requested, particularly to celebrate the life of an elderly person.
You will need to know where the funeral is happening before you can pack with confidence. A funeral in a church or temple requires more formality than a scattering of ashes after hiking to a remote beach. Religious ceremonies may have particular dress codes, such as requiring all women to wear a hat or veil, or for everyone to remove their shoes.
Comfortable shoes or boots are always a traveler's friend and should not be forgotten on this trip. High heels are not recommended for walking through a cemetery. If the heel sinks down into soft earth, you may find yourself sprawling on the ground.
In many countries, although not in Africa, babies and very young children may be dressed entirely in white. Usually, parents are not expected to buy new outfits for children, so children should be dressed in the most suitable clothing they already own or can borrow on short notice.
If you will be attending graveside services, then you will be exposed to the weather. For warm weather, lightweight clothing or short sleeves may help prevent overheating. If you have dressed in layers, such as a jacket or scarf, then you might be able to discreetly remove an outer layer, at least until the service has started. For cold weather, you may need to add a coat, a hat, boots, gloves, and a scarf. If rain is in the forecast, then pack an umbrella.
Unless you are making a daytrip to a nearby destination and don't expect to change clothes after the services, you also need to pack clothes for the rest of your stay. If you are part of the family or a close friend, then pack at least some clothes that are suitable for receiving visitors. You may also need to take work clothes, if you will be helping clean or empty the decedent's home during this trip.
Expressing sympathy
In many places, it's customary to send or bring flowers, food, money, or other gifts to the bereaved family. There may be specific traditions, such as sending chrysanthemums rather than daffodils, or pure white flowers rather than joyful yellow ones. In some cultures, if you cannot participate in the funeral or memorial, it's customary to send a condolences letter that is read aloud during the event. Some families may ask you to donate to a charity of their choice or your choice in lieu of flowers.
Alternatives
When people are unable to travel for a funeral, there are ways of helping them feel included. One is to videotape or livestream the services, so that they can participate remotely. Another is to have more than one event, such as a funeral in one location and a memorial service in another city.