- Dr. Robert Hartley: [final lines, Dick has woken up as Bob from "The Bob Newhart Show"] Well, I was an innkeeper in this crazy town in Vermont.
- Emily Hartley: I'm happy for you. Goodnight.
- Dr. Robert Hartley: Nothing made sense in this place. I mean, the maid was an heiress, her husband talked in alliteration, the handyman kept missing the point of things. And there were these three woodsmen. But only one of them talked.
- Emily Hartley: That settles it. No more Japanese food before you go to bed.
- [turns her light off]
- Dr. Robert Hartley: And I was married to this beautiful blonde...
- Emily Hartley: Go back to sleep, Bob.
- Dr. Robert Hartley: Goodnight, Emily.
- [turns his light off]
- Emily Hartley: [turning her light back on and sitting up] Beautiful blonde?
- Dr. Robert Hartley: Go to sleep, Emily. You - you should wear more sweaters.
- Dick Loudon: [During Founders' Day, Dick has been placed in the stocks] My nose itches.
- [calling out]
- Dick Loudon: Anybody! Stratch my nose! Anybody! OK, 5 bucks! Anybody, scratch my nose for 5 bucks!
- Larry: Okay.
- [Hands Dick $5 and scratches his nose]
- Dick Loudon: Okay, anybody else, scratch my nose for 5 bucks!
- George Utley: Dick, I cleared out that obstruction in the chimney.
- Dick Loudon: Thanks George. What was it?
- George Utley: I don't know but when I woke it up, it ran away.