Cedric the Entertainer Presents (2002–2003)
Cedric The Entertainer: Self - Host, Various Characters
Quotes
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Cafeteria Lady : That's Mrs. Cafeteria Lady, Nathaniel. Now unlike yo' mama, some of us know how to keep a husband!
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Cafeteria Lady : You may be a math teacher over there, but in here, you nothin' but a substance abuser that can count to ten!
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[replies to request of green beans]
Cafeteria Lady : Ain't no mo' green beans! Just mashed potatoes and corn!
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[on the game show "Taste Buds"]
Howard : [tastes food] It's served on an open grill...................You know what this can use? Some hot sauce!
Game Show Host : Looks like you'll have to stop guessing meats.
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Cafeteria Lady : The green beans are for the children. Children like little Joey. Family's so po' they house sittin' on a kickstand!
[Joey leaves]
Cafeteria Lady : Come back here, Joey! You know yo' mama ain't comin' back 'till last call!
Cafeteria Lady : Somebody need to get they white mama to get they black grandma and teach her how to do her hair!
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Spencer Elwood : There has been a certain issue. One that has touched me directly.
[plays "Hail to the Chief" on the radio]
Spencer Elwood : This whack-behind Presidential song! You can't Harlem-shake to that!
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Cafeteria Lady : I'm a bicycle with the seat off, I'll get in yo ass!
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Cafeteria Lady : I'm like a gay guy at a strip club, I really don't care!
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Cafeteria Lady : Hey there, what are them books you readin?
Man : Nothing you would understand; It's beyond your scope!
Cafeteria Lady : Let me tell YOU what's beyond scope, your breath!
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Cafeteria Lady : Well I am like a double shot of Novocain, I ain't really feelin' for you!
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Cafeteria Lady : I'm like an unpaid electric bill, I'll put your lights out!
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Cafeteria Lady : I'm like a overheated hot-air balloon, I'll drop it like it's hot!
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Cafeteria Lady : I'm like a cup of coffee; I'm hot, black, and strong!