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pcristianjohnson
Reviews
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Conflicted
I enjoy vulgar, immature, and slapstick humor immensely. Yet for the first time about two weeks ago when I watched this film; I meet my match. I have heard/read all of the negative things about this movie and yes, most of them are absolutely right to bash the things they bash the movie for. I even found myself silent for a good chunk of the "laughs," in this movie. Yet the ones that did hit, hit hard. Is this the worst film ever made? (I kind of reserve that title for Pink Flamingos) it's up there, but it's equally entertaining. Unique and creative are titles it definitely earns. I almost wish Tom Green would try directing a film once more learning what he did with this one.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
A movie that knows exactly what it is, please make more
This movie is very self aware, not something we get very often in movies. It knows it's whacky, crazy, brutal and stupid. Yet that's what makes it so damn fun. This is a pure gorefest with extremely darkest of dark humor. Do I think there are some scenes (I'm not talking about the kills) that could have been trimmed or cut out entirely just for a shorter run time, because it does drag in some moments especially for a slasher? Yes I do think so. Other than that I had a lot of fun watching this movie. Extremely graphic and PRACTICAl gore effects, some decent scares and a mediocre cast. I truly hope they continue to make more of these or at least this same group continues to make other horror movies.
100 Tears (2007)
Could have cut all dialogue and been fine
I've been wanting to watch this movie for years and finally got the chance to. I saw a clown horror movie that was rated NC-17 for extreme horror violence and that's it. I told myself "sold." This is by no means a good movie, the parts where it attempts to take itself serious or develop a plot are just so cheap and remind me of video projects we did in middle school. The only two worth any of the screen time are the two antagonists. Other than that, there's nothing else that matters. Come and stay for over the top blood and gore and nothing else. Makes me wish as a society production companies weren't so chicken and would fund movies like this to get a better movie with the over the top and brutal gore. And also just had to get this off my chest, there's about a 5 minute sequence where they are chasing a little person around while comical old western style music is played in the background and it's just in poor taste, and stupid, not even in a funny way.
Gon-ji-am (2018)
Got me pretty good.
This movie freaked me the hell out. I'm going to dry and do this review without spoilers so I'll start with the negative, there is one particular scene that I find kind of dumb and creepy all at the same time. When you see it you can formulate your own opinion. That being said, this movie has a pretty good pace, the cast act pretty natural and work well together. And there were three occasions I actually jumped which does not happen very often and I will say for this movie to truly be effective, one needs to watch it ALONE and in a pitch black room like I did. Wasn't expecting a found footage film to creep me out but it did it's job. Highly recommend for a good scare.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
A good movie, Finally
It feels so refreshing to have something original, albeit a sequel that is neither remake or another bland comic book film. This is a movie where fans of the original and anyone new can enjoy. The cast work beautifully together, the on screen chemistry is truly felt here. And the fact that despite his illness, Val Kilmer is still able to reprise his role and is a real one for it. I argue his scene is one of the most powerful. The score stays true to the original but adds some new songs to keep it fresh. There's also no politics, or ideologies that say this is right or wrong. It's about a mission and a group of pilots training to execute that mission.
Martyrs (2008)
Just.....wow
I've been wanting to watch this film for years as I'm an avid searcher in finding movies that are disturbing and hard to watch. I genuinely thought I knew where the movie was going, and then the second half happens and I was just left in shock, the inhumanity of this movie is just next level. A lot of movies that are this level of disturbing rely heavily on rape and unjustified violence, yet in a horrible way the violence in this movie made sense. And no there isn't any cgi blood in this movie, from what I could tell at least. Definitely not for faint of heart, especially the latter part of the movie, the violence is just sadistic and degrading.
Cries from Syria (2017)
Real World Horror
I'm ashamed of being human. Period. If there wasn't a character requirement I would leave it there. But I will let it be known to anybody who sits there and says "we don't want them they're just terrorists" watch this (enter four letter word ending with ing) documentary and if you have any semblance of a soul or a heart you will change your mind. These are women, children, families. Human beings that just want to live their life and have peace. And we are too selfish as a people to see it. I cried during almost the entire duration of this. Literally right before our eyes we have someone committing acts as basically a modern day hitler to his own people. Children being poisoned, blown up, schools and hospitals being destroyed.
Unthinkable (2010)
Cold and calculated
Sam Jackson has played many antihero roles in his time. The line between protagonist and antagonist is extremely blurry and is his most chilling role to date. I remember watching this for the first time expecting a kind of generic take on terrorism and interrogation but he is ruthless. That ending, I was really wondering if they were going to push it THAT far but they didn't. Yet his character was going to. This is a standalone movie that's really only effective once, but will make one question their morality as things progress. Definitely a recommend, it's something quite different and should be looked at more often.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
More than fan service at work here.
Ok well maybe it is a pretty hefty driving force(no pun intended), but it was done very well and I'm glad to see at least some attempt by Disney to stay true to certain characters and their representation. The only one I could do without and still remain completely satisfied with this mini series is inquisitor reva.....the concept for her character makes sense but I just did not feel her character was worth much, nor did I feel anything for her except for she survived that one fateful night. I just felt she was thrown into the mix for yet another redemption arc that was not necessary but hey its Disney. Not that Star Wars is unfamiliar with redemption arcs.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Summary for all three
One star is for updated special effects, another star is for bringing back as much of the old cast as possible, the last two I guess is just nostalgia. I truly cannot express just how angry these movies made me. The force awakens is passable somewhat but the others made me want to scream. They especially did a ridiculous disservice to Luke skywalker, making him a recluse with ptsd and ruining his reputation. And how many characters is one going to force heal? How many times is someone going to "die" and just come back to life without force healing? There are so many characters that are just extremely overplayed and overstayed their welcome. I simply cannot, if anyone is a true fan of Star Wars just avoid these altogether.
M3GAN (2022)
Decent concept, better than I thought
I went into this expecting pretty much a rehash of the Chucky remake only with a female killer doll instead of a male one. But surprisingly enough I was taken a little off guard by how it played out. M3gan herself is fairly more chilling in the fact that she genuinely uses more psychological warfare than physical and makes some valid points while doing so. This is definitely a relevant film, as we become more obsessed with technology and AI to distract us from the real world and what's happening around us, who's to say it's not entirely possible? Now I won't sit here and say it's a must see and will blow your mind, scare you, and make you wanting more. But it's decent enough to sit through.
The Irishman (2019)
Pretty good narrative but not Scorsese's best
I'm not extremely familiar with the actual story of jimmy Hoffa, the only things I know are from Hoffa and this movie. And that at one point it was rumored he's buried under the New York giants stadium. I enjoy the narrative told here and I also love the cast, three of my favorite actors from pretty much all of my favorite mafia, mobster or gangster movies are here. The acting is great, and when the action does come it's pretty well done just not as brutal as some other movies. Unfortunately it is pretty slow, and it's not as engaging as his older movies like casino, goodfellas or taxi driver heck even wolf of Wall Street. But if you have 3.5 hours to kill and want to see a pretty compelling story unfold then check this one out.
Pulp Fiction (1994)
And you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
I could probably write a ten paged paper on this movie alone. I had seen other films by Tarantino before watching this one many years ago we will say 10 years ago when I was a teenager. And people here and there would mention the title pulp fiction to me and not sure why I just didn't bother to watch it till it was free on demand with comcast and was finally left in awe pondering the meaning of life for probably 30 minutes afterwards with the tv turned off. The dialogue is what sells this film along with the acting. And there are those that claim it is ultra violent and while there's some moments it's nothing like some of his others. The acting is amazing and I realized I wasn't watching a movie it's truly just an experience. This is the type of movie where you don't pop it on with a group of friends or a loved one just hanging out, it's meant to be observed, listened to, digested. There's no way to describe the plot or put it in a genre. It exists on its own. This was the movie that made me realize how important and impactful dialogue can truly be. A film doesn't need to be flashy, have crazy special effects, action every 2 minutes.
Greatest Events of WWII in Colour (2019)
Informative but flawed in some of the footage
The story telling by the historians along with the narrative is pretty compelling and I did find it fairly informative even though I have seen multiple WWII documentaries before. But my complaint here is that multiple times the same footage from certain battles is reused for other battles later on in the series and sometimes done more than once in a single episode. Not only that I'm not entirely well versed in older WWII films but I can definitely see a striking difference between actual archival footage and ones that were either staged or used in films. Overall though I did enjoy it and would recommend it.
Escape from Kabul (2022)
Heart breaking and infuriating.
This brought tears to my eyes, I felt for the civilians of Afghanistan and the many people who lost their lives trying to flee a tyranny and imperialist society where they would live in constant fear. But truth be told, no one was prepared for such an event to occur especially in a matter of hours. I cannot fathom what not only the civilians but also the American soldiers went through and the emotional and mental toll that it had taken on them. And I cannot use the words I want to use on the cowards that used a car bomb just to initiate chaos and fear in an already chaotic situation. This is one of those situations where I'm saddened to be a human being. Definitely a must watch but hard to watch if one has any semblance of a soul or heart.
We Have a Ghost (2023)
Maybe for some but not for me
I understand there are plenty of dark and gritty films about the paranormal and ghosts as well as there are comedies. And while I'm a fan of both I'm just not into a lot of these modern films that are meant to be funny and feel good as some others. But I'm sure this movie has its audience as it's been in the top 10 on Netflix since it's release but then again every new release Netflix original manages to end up on the top 10 at least for some time whether it is good or bad. What made me I guess sort of like this movie is David Harbour, I am a huge fan of his even though his movie hellboy wasn't all that great but with that I don't blame him I blame the writing and directing. I guess if you want an extremely campy, feel good, family comedy that makes light of the paranormal subject along with it's obvious push on modern media then I suppose check it out.
3 from Hell (2019)
Everything was ok....and then Mexico happened
I was ecstatic when I heard this film was being made, and then the unfortunate news of poor Sid Haig hit which was disappointing but I am aware that nothing could be done so his time in the film was unfortunately cut short as one of the most menacing and terrifying clowns in existence. Things started out fine, the home invasion was pretty messed up, essence of his previous film Devil's Rejects. But then the characters decide to go to Mexico and it just becomes incredibly stupid with a pathetic attempt to add humor which could have worked if done differently. Now do not give me wrong some of the action was pretty cool, Sheri Moon is of course as sexy and sadistic as ever and her scene with the bow and arrow was done well. But other than that I wasn't really left with any sense of dread, fear, or unease like some of the scenes from his previous film or films. I'm wondering if sadly Rob Zombie is losing his edge, but I'm a huge fan of his and will always watch any of his films at least once.
C'est arrivé près de chez vous (1992)
Definitely disturbing but maybe a tad overhyped?
Truth be told it is definitely raw and the main character is pretty haunting and convincing as a pure narcissistic psychopath. The violence while be it at least to me not graphic by today's standards it does happen suddenly. But the documentary feel and as I said before the main character are what truly bring this film in and make it disturbing. Now worthy of an NC-17 rating maybe not, but overall I enjoyed it. The mockumentary style, the interactions between all the characters and the way things just flip and give you that "oh snap" sensation. Would recommend to any one who's at least somewhat of a veteran with disturbing films and just cross it off the list, worth the watch.
Contracted (2013)
Interesting till the end
The concept of the film makes sense, and I really did enjoy it until the very end. I suppose if the film had gone a different route I would have rated it higher. Even though it's a slow burn (no pun intended) it works with what happens to the main character. The gore effects or just the effects in general are pretty decent, and even though it is not in your face like it could have been it takes a more subtle route. When I saw that maggot fall during the car scene I immediately gagged. I didn't need to see the "whole picture" in that moment my imagination filled it in and that was all I needed to be disturbed. But I will say it's not for everyone, it's not amazing, not even great, but on a whim perhaps just like I was and you've seen everything to be seen and you just need to kill some time.
Terror at the Mall (2014)
Gut wrenching but real world
This one like a few other documentaries I've watched just left me with a sense of dread. But it's the kind of dread that I think should be felt and witnessed by some as a reminder while watching it from the comfort and coziness of one's living room or bedroom that things like this happen in the world pretty much daily. It is very graphic and does not shy away from the violence these four terrorists committed. And while not every act of horror committed in the world is a "terrorist" act they still happen they just don't always get media attention. And I will say several instances of the decisions made by law enforcement and military officials made, actually scratch that many of the decisions they made pissed me off to my core. This is a must see but be prepared, and have a strong stomach and core. I don't believe anyone under the age of 17 should be watching this one.
Overlord (2018)
Suspense can only kill for so long
I'm all for the concept of this film, essentially nazi zombies. But if one is going to do such a film at least have either better acting, or at least characters to care about. I found myself only caring for the kid and Chloe. Other than that I pretty just wanted everyone to die and it be over with. The action I guess does eventually come but there is no depth, and every character plays an extremely generic part that has been done before. Truth be told I'm not sure what it is or was, poor acting, generic plot, mediocre action? I could not stay engaged very long and I'm the type of person to watch the lord of the rings trilogy extended editions without breaks. Yet I kept trying to find my own distractions throughout the run time.
November 13: Attack on Paris (2018)
The type of documentary everyone needs to see
This will go down as one of my favorite documentaries I have ever watched, and I am an avid fan of documentaries. This isn't a documentary that has to rely on the gory videos and images to tell the narrative, nor does this documentary lean on any political side whatsoever which I believe is my favorite attribute to this short series. There is no political agenda, it is simply an intimate and harrowing recounting as told by the survivors and first responders that witnessed that horrific night in Paris, France. I remember being at work when the alerts started coming in and watching everything unfold at home while watching the news. There is fear, massacre, terror, but along with it, love, bravery, and unity.
The Butterfly Effect (2004)
Better late than never
Finally watched this film as an adult and I'm glad I did as it would make no sense as a teenager to me. This movie deals with the question everyone always asks themselves. "What if I did this differently? What would change?" And it's a great representation of even if we could we are not sure of what the outcome could be. This is definitely Ashton Kutcher's best acting I have ever seen. Along with the rest of the cast. I haven't watched the sequels and I don't think I want to because this is something that should not be replicated or repeated. And it's truly a film that once you finish it all you can do is sit and think.
Blue Ruin (2013)
Not bad just a tad slow
After watching his other film green room, I told myself I need to watch everything this director makes so I checked this one out. This is definitely more tame but truthfully a believable film. A guy wants to set out for revenge after his mother and father were murdered but he's obviously not very good at it. The acting though is pretty top notch and when the action does hit it's pretty brutal. I enjoyed the subtlety, almost beautiful atmosphere of the whole film. It's one of those that makes you sit and think this could really happen to oneself, especially when someone has nothing to loose. I will definitely be on the look out for further films by this director.
Wild Wild Country (2018)
Well written, story told from all perspectives.
I felt this is definitely one of the most balanced and even story I have seen told in a documentary. Regardless of who or if you side with anyone towards the end, those outside looking into the commune as well as those who lived in the commune get to tell their stories here and give a much broader perspective to a story that could be easily by one side or another. Truth be told I was in shock that I had never heard of this happening before, everyone has heard of Jonestown sure but this commune had other communes stretched across the globe. They were a global phenomenon and I watched all six episodes in one sitting just thinking how could this get any crazier? Very good watch though don't watch with any kiddos around as there is a good bit of graphic nudity in several episodes.