The aim was to explore parents' and professionals' opinions about parental performance of care in a neonatal intensive care unit. Forty-three parents and 85 nurses completed questionnaires composed of a list of 95 caregiving activities; 14 nurses and 4 neonatologists participated in four focus group interviews. Considerable differences appeared in parents' and nurses' responses about parents' participation in their infants' care. All listed activities were marked as optional by at least a few parents. Agreement was reached about parents as their infants' primary caregivers, based on individual assessment of parents' willingness and ability, with nurses acting as educators and supporters instead of caregivers.