Research into the role of family members in the decision making process concerning medical treatment of incompetent patients in nursing home care, shows that the involvement of a proxy decision maker implies a greater responsibility of the physician. It is the duty of the proxy decision-maker (mostly a family member) to look after the incompetent patient's interests. But it is the physician's duty to decide whether the proxy decision maker indeed fulfills this task. Even so, the physician has the professional responsibility to decide on the medical course of action. Involvement of others (relations and other health care professionals) is of great importance to the answer to the question 'What is good for this patient?' but does not absolve the physician from the obligation to decide professionally what is the right thing to do.