The discovery of magnetic bistability in Mn_{12} more than 20 years ago marked the birth of molecular magnetism, an extremely fertile interdisciplinary field and a powerful route to create tailored magnetic nanostructures. However, the difficulty to determine interactions in complex polycentric molecules often prevents their understanding. Mn_{12} is an outstanding example of this difficulty: although it is the forefather and most studied of all molecular nanomagnets, an unambiguous determination of even the leading magnetic exchange interactions is still lacking. Here we exploit four-dimensional inelastic neutron scattering to portray how individual spins fluctuate around the magnetic ground state, thus fixing the exchange couplings of Mn_{12} for the first time. Our results demonstrate the power of four-dimensional inelastic neutron scattering as an unrivaled tool to characterize magnetic clusters.