An unusual case of calciphylaxis, presenting at the onset of end-stage renal disease and evolving into an extended and arduous hospital stay, is described. The medical approach to this case is addressed briefly, but the main focus of this paper is to describe, in the words of various participants, the events and interactions that occurred and to learn from this description how our management of such cases breaks down. When confronted by difficult circumstances, it is common for us to react emotionally in ways that are automatic and based on our own personal histories and behavior patterns. Such automatic reactions prevent us from seeing and understanding what we really need to know about a given situation and leave us vulnerable to discouragement and internal suffering when clinical events do not go well (A. Nierenberg, personal communication, April 1998). The result is often exasperation with patients and families, as well as emotionally laden interactions that do not forward problem solving. In retrospect, the appearance of such breakdowns is not only predictable in the course of chronic illness, but offers us the opportunity to observe our automatic reactions, to re-evaluate our approach, and to redesign our actions. We have written this review, not to find error or blame, but rather to emphasize that we are learning to view these breakdowns as signals first to step back from our automatic reactions and then to listen and communicate clearly as a means to navigating the best pathway through difficult and discouraging clinical challenges.