Wings (1990–1997)
David Schramm: Roy Biggins
Photos
Quotes
-
Brian Hackett : Listen, We are throwing a suprise engagement party for Joe and Helen and um your all invited.
Casey Chappel Davenport : Its at the Harbor House tonight, we'll meet you in the lobby at 7:30
Roy Biggins : Well, its a little last minute but its a party and who am I to pass up a big sandwich. How many feet you go for, eight feet?
Lowell Mather : No, this is Joe and Helen, its gotta be the ten footer!
Brian Hackett : Brace yourself guys... um... were not having a big sandwich.
Lowell Mather : Excuse me um almost sounded like you said there'd be no big sandwich.
Fay Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran : Everyone loves the big sandwich.
Roy Biggins : A party with out a big sandwich? it it it it its just not done.
Casey Chappel Davenport : All right! Enough about the big sandwich. I am sure you will all be more than pleased with the food especially after you've tasted the marvelous poached Salmon.
Lowell Mather : How many feet did you get?
Casey Chappel Davenport : It doesn't come by the foot.
Lowell Mather : Then how do you know when your full?
Casey Chappel Davenport : I gotta get off this Island
[leaves quickly]
-
Joe Hackett : Lowell, where you going?
Lowell Mather : Oh, to clear my mind.
Roy Biggins : Shouldn't take long. One good sneeze ought to do it.
-
Roy Biggins : If you'll excuse me, I've got to get ready for the big night.
Alex : Oh, that's right, you're about to romance a woman. You'll want to shower, shave, buy chloroform...
-
Roy Biggins : You know what I do when I have a problem with a woman?
Antonio : Deflate her?
-
Roy Biggins : Once you've been with Roy Biggins, you don't want another man!
Antonio : Sounds about right.
-
Roy Biggins : I'm going to teach that kid everything I know.
Helen : What's he going to do the second half of the day?
-
Roy Biggins : I've never minded staying up all night because of a woman.
Helen : Well, you don't have a choice. If you dozed off, she'd escape.
-
Lowell Mather : I've had this nagging feeling all day that I'm forgetting something.
Roy Biggins : My guess is you get that feeling a lot.
-
Roy Biggins : Forget it. I'm not... , I'm not in the mood.
Silvia, Roy's Ex-wife : YOU?
-
Roy Biggins : So what you're saying is, she's not interested in me, that I don't mean anything to her. She just wants to get me into bed & use me like some cheap piece of meat?
Brian Hackett : Exactly.
Roy Biggins : I can live with that!
-
Lowell Mather : I'm actually a lot like a camel. I can go for months without water.
Roy Biggins : You've only gone twelve hours; you're *way* too much like a camel already.
-
Helen : Oh Lowell, please tell me your brother didn't marry his sister.
Roy Biggins : No. Cousin. The sister didn't work out.
-
Roy Biggins : I was so good, I screamed out my own name!
-
Brian Hackett : It says here, fifteen percent of the American public would rather watch television than have sex.
Roy Biggins : Fifteen perc... Yeah, yeah, I buy that, yeah. You know, maybe you're... you're too tired, or she's too... what's a nice way to put this? Ugly.
Brian Hackett : The words "too tired" aren't in my vocabulary, and frankly, Roy, I don't think the words "too ugly" should be in yours.