The Rundown (2003)
Seann William Scott: Travis
Photos
Quotes
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Travis : Let me get this straight - you never use guns?
Beck : No.
Travis : Never.
Beck : Never.
Travis : What if your best friend was gonna die, you wouldn't pick up a gun?
Beck : No guns.
Travis : Santa Claus would pick up a gun to save his best friend.
Beck : Do I look like Santa Claus? Do I look like Santa Claus to you?
Travis : What do you say? Guns make you whooh-poco-loco? Bang-bang-crazy?
Beck : I pick up guns, bad things happen to people. I don't like that.
Travis : What kind of things?
Beck : Very bad things, Travis. Walk.
Travis : What about knives?
Beck : Move.
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[Beck & Travis are paralyzed from eating a jungle fruit]
Beck : [slurred] Oh, thit...
Travis : [who can't turn his head] What? What?
Beck : Monkey! Monkey!
Travis : Monkey? Where? Get him away from me!
Beck : [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
Travis : [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
Beck : [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
[Sounds of a swarm of monkeys running around them and drawing closer]
Travis : Oh, no...
Beck : I hate this place. I hate penis-eating minnows and I hate freaky fruit. I want to go home. I want concrete. I want homemade tortellini. I want my Los Angeles Lakers. I want to go home, I want to go home, I WANT TO GO HOOOOOOME!
[He gets pissed off enough to overcome the paralysis and lift his head and arm, waving a tree branch]
Beck : Get out of here, monkeys! Get out of here, monkeys!
[the monkeys run off. Beck tries to stand, and promptly collapses to the ground again]
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Beck : What are you doing?
Travis : I have to pee.
Beck : Pee in your pants, move!
Travis : No!
Beck : Excuse me?
Travis : I've let you push me around this jungle for like five hours. Now if you wanna keep going, you're just gonna have to carry me. I guarantee I'm gonna pee on your head.
Beck : You're threatening me? You're threatening me with pee?
Travis : Yeah... If you don't let me pee here.
Beck : Fine, you win, pee!
Travis : Will you unzip me?
Beck : No, I'm not gonna unzip you. You have 30 seconds, PEE!
Travis : How am I supose to pee with my hands cuffed behind my back?
Beck : Find a way!
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[Beck is being "humped" by a monkey]
Travis : Establish dominance. Establish dominance.
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Beck : I don't make deals with people like you.
Travis : You don't even know me.
Beck : You're just like every other jackass that I've taken down. First they try to run, then they try to fight, then they try to negotiate. And when that doesn't work, you're gonna do what all the others do when they realize it's over.
Travis : Oh, yeah? What's that?
Beck : You're gonna get down on your hands and knees and you're gonna beg me for a break. Well, guess what? I don't give breaks. No breaks.
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Travis : Have you ever heard of the Gato du Diabo? It's a priceless object, forged out of pure gold. It's worth millions.
Beck : I thought you said it was priceless.
Travis : You do not want to argue semantics with a PhD candidate.
Beck : PhD?
Travis : Yeah, I am very close to being Dr. Travis Walker.
Beck : You dropped out of Stanford after two semesters, Einstein.
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Beck : I need you to make a choice for me.
Travis : What choice?
Beck : Option A or Option B. Option A: we walk out of here nice and easy, we go back to the airstrip, and then we begin our long journey back to Los Angeles. There'll be no bruises, no broken bones, and no problems.
Travis : What's in Los Angeles?
Beck : Your father.
Travis : What's Option B?
Beck : Pretty much the opposite of A. But I wouldn't recommend that one.
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[asking to pee]
Travis : Come on. Don't make it weird.
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[Beck is fighting one of the rebels and losing]
Travis : What is that? That's like spinning Tarzan jujitsu?
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Travis : You're dead. You're so dead.
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Travis : You're a very unpleasant individual, you know that?
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Travis : [just before he goes to walk away from the hanging Beck] Well, it looks like your Wolfgang Stuck right here.
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Travis : So Angry!
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Travis : [while Beck is hanging upside down in a pig snare] Caw-Caw! Caw-Caw! You're like a little birdie up there! Caw-Caw! Caw-Caw-Caw-Caw! Caw-Caw!
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Travis : [reaching for El Gato Del Diablo] Here kitty, kitty, kitty.