- Colonel Foster: [picks up drink] You've iced it. If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times: Ice...
- Purdey: Is only fit for peasants and polar bears.
- Mike Gambit: [Purdey has handed Gambit her bra] Oh... a double-barrel slingshot. Why didn't you burn this with all the other girls?
- Purdey: Didn't have to. I knew I was emancipated.
- General Stevens: This is iniquitous! I don't know what's going on here, but I surely do know that that man needs medical attention. It's against all the rules of humanity.
- Soldier: You what? U-manity?
- Mike Gambit: I called you over because, eh, well, I get lonely sometimes.
- Purdey: That solves it.
- Mike Gambit: What?
- Purdey: You're Christmas present's been bothering me. I'll buy you a dog.
- Mike Gambit: Two heads are better than one.
- Purdey: I'm definitely not buying you another head.
- Mike Gambit: Watch the film.
- Colonel 'Mad Jack' Miller: I'm afraid we have no facilities for the imprisonment of young women.
- Purdey: You mean you haven't got a hairdryer?