I Tried "Dirty Soda," and I Hate That I Love It

If you peeked into the text thread with my long-distance best friend when "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" dropped on Hulu, you'd find a string of messages that matched pace with the reality series' chaotic twists. We swapped notes on divisive #MomTok members, researched controversial plot points, and gave our unfiltered thoughts on the group's rocky dynamics.

What you won't discover, however? Any covetous language directed at #MomTok's drink of choice, the controversial "dirty soda," which, for two Midwest natives with a well-documented love for gas station drinks, is surprising.

In case you haven't devoured the entire eight-episode season in a single weekend (guilty), we'll let you into this #MomTok open secret: They love their dirty soda — cola spiked with cream and flavored syrup — by the liter. At the top of episode five, we follow a group of women, all with immaculately lustrous hair, in search of this afternoon pick-me-up. Read: Dirty soda is their equivalent of a happy hour dirty martini and dollar oysters.

"We don't drink alcohol or do drugs, so it's kind of our vice," Demi shares before rattling off her four-syrup custom order. Layla, another fan-favorite of the bunch, says she drinks a 44-ounce soda nearly every day of the week. This is around where they lost me.

For starters, let's walk through the build: Layla prefers a fruit-forward, bubbly drink with a base of Mountain Dew alongside thick swirls of mango and strawberry puree. The most divisive part is a heavy pour of coconut cream, which creates a very distinct mouthfeel. In the same episode, Layla confesses that she usually downs this tall drink in just one hour, which sounds conceptually — and sensorily — horrifying.

All things considered, there's plenty of reason to be curious about the appeal of "dirty soda." After all, #MomTok's soda supplier of choice, Swig, has more than 50 locations nationwide with hundreds more franchised stores on the way.

Exhibit B: Recipes for cream-laden soda have already made the rounds on TikTok in the past year, even leading Dr. Pepper to release its own limited-run coconut spin. Meanwhile, Sonic Drive-In suggested swirling creamer into its soft drink offerings, while the specialty chain Cool Sips arrived earlier this year to satiate New Yorkers' soda cravings — dirty, or not.

"We realized that people would come to us for 'dirty soda,' especially around the excitement around television shows. We've been getting a lot of that," Cool Sips founder and restaurant developer Andrew Moger tells PS. "We've been balancing the fun and excitement around 'dirty soda' while also making sure we're appealing to people who will come to us regularly for their afternoon pick-me-up."

I have a feeling we're not in Utah anymore.

As it turns out, you don't need a "soft swinging" scandal (a plot point in the show and across TikTok) to try your hand at this suspiciously creamy — yet moderately caffeinated — drink. To taste-test Layla's favorite order at home (per Swig's official recipe), I created standard simple syrups with strawberry jam and fresh mango, then stirred them into the citrusy soft drink. During assembly, it's almost impossible to get past the thickness of the coconut cream, but I implore you to push through (even once the mixed beverage takes on a peachy color).

If you had a visceral reaction to all of the above, count yourself in good company. While I understand the allure of a creamy Dr. Pepper or vanilla Coca-Cola float, this Mountain Dew combo spoke directly to my inner skeptic as it came together. However, after a reluctant sip, I'd honestly argue that Layla's order actually works. The mango and strawberry play well with the Mountain Dew's bright fruitiness, and the cream adds an almost sherbet-like quality to the drink.

It is worth taking a pause to acknowledge the presumably sky-high sugar content in Layla's order, which might be avoided by swapping the Mountain Dew with a citrus sparkling water.

I hate that I love it, and I hate even more than I'm now confessing to loving it. A proper 44-ounce pour of this stuff is undeniably bad for you — but damn, it's good. All due respect to those who gleefully sip down Mountain Dew and coconut creamer, of course, but I wish this would've stayed part of my secret life.

Nicolette Baker is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn, NY. Her expertise lies primarily in food, drink, and fashion media, but she enjoys covering all aspects of lifestyle with an accessible approach. She's written for Food & Wine, Byrdie, Business Insider, VinePair, and Flourish.