Valentine’s day – A reminder!

A few days ago, I bumped into an old notebook of mine and read my first attempt at poetry that I had penned down when I was eleven years old. It was titled ‘One Friend’ and the key message was about getting just one person who would accept you wholeheartedly simply as you are. I am not even sure if I understood it back then, but I see quite some meaning to it now.

A friendship is a relationship by choice and by far one of the most powerful sources of energy for both people involved. Of course, there could be disagreements, misunderstandings and arguments involved, nevertheless the cementing factor is trust and respect for one another. Being able to connect and speak with someone without filters is probably the most amazing experience. It takes time and effort from both people to nurture and grow these relationships. That is why we probably say, “Old is Gold”. Most of us would agree that everyone is extremely busy in life so where does the time come from? Well, time does not happen on its own; we make time if we really want something. Say for example, you wanted to be physically present on your mother’s milestone birthday, wouldn’t you plan for it and make sure you are there? Fundamentally, you would never have made it if you did not WANT to make it. The concept of friendship is exactly the same however the ‘want’ ideally is a balance between two people. Imagine a vehicle that has the tyres of a truck on one side and the tyres of a cycle on another! It will probably drag on for a while before breaking down. Similarly , the distance your friendship will go depends on the willingness to be there for the other. The rest just follows seamlessly!

Love from a romantic point of view is also a relationship by choice. Sometimes it just happens on its own and sometimes we grow into it. I would say a person who experiences love in whichever way is just a very blessed person. It is an enigma to have someone who loves you. It is also possible that you don’t have one at all, but it would be so sad to have one, yet not acknowledge it, isn’t it? Stephenie Meyer, best known for the ‘Twilight series’ quotes “It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.” I think this is an apt description of love. This is a person whose mere presence has the power to transform your mood, your thoughts or even you for that matter. How does this happen? I am no expert, but what I do know is that we like someone BECAUSE of certain traits they may have, and we love someone DESPITE certain other traits they may also have. It all boils down to a simple difference between ‘because and despite’. It would be serene to have a two-way feeling about this but then everyone is not that blessed either.

I was once speaking to a terminally ill patient. She said that she was always an ambitious person and spent a good deal of her life running behind materialistic pleasures. Of course, they made her happy and that was completely okay, but she also said her biggest regret was losing focus on her greatest treasure all throughout. This was one person who was always there when she celebrated her achievements, when she was vulnerable after a downfall, when she took important decisions and when she needed to

vent. He had witnessed her life and knew exactly who she was a person but somehow, she had just taken him for granted. It was too late when she realized that this was probably what mattered so much! His love for her was unconditional and she never once paused to rejoice it. He would have been the same for her even if she weren’t a successful entrepreneur or was financially broke.

We have all heard that life is a race! We can choose to run it by all means. The question is are we losing someone important in the race or are we making sure that they are right beside us throughout till we reach the finish line?