The term ‘toxic’ has snuck its way into our everyday vocabulary like an uninvited guest who just won’t leave. Amid the vast tapestry of human connections, it is used to describe relationships that are more hazardous than harmonious, the ones that relentlessly drain you and offer little in return, leaving you in an endless loop of emotional chaos. We’re not talking only about instances of love gone sour but rather the many hues of toxic relationships we allow in our lives.
If Bollywood movies were a reflection of real life, sibling bonds would go beyond being depicted as profound connections that can never be broken. They’d actually address the many complications and emotions that arise with shared parents and living spaces, from love and camaraderie to conflict, rivalry, and, at times, resentment.
“Toxic sibling relationships often stem from dysfunctional or unjust parenting choices, as children often emulate what they observe at home,” explains Meerut-based Dr Rashi Agarwal, MBBS and MD Psychiatry, who works on busting mental health myths both online and offline. “It takes time and, sometimes, moving out of that environment for individuals to develop their own rational thinking and separate their own feelings towards their siblings from the influence of parental feelings.”
The way she looks at it, identifying and asserting your preferences, such as not wanting people to comment on, say, your weight can be subtly brought up using phrases such as “I prefer not to discuss that,” “This doesn’t concern you,” or “It hurts me when you comment on my weight.” Removing yourself physically or emotionally from the situation where your feelings aren’t being respected, even if it means learning to say ‘no’ to phone calls, visits or spending holidays with those individuals goes a long way in safeguarding your mental peace.
When it comes to navigating the challenges that come with cutting ties with a toxic sibling, draw strength from the popular saying: “Either knock them off the boat or jump yourself.” While cutting toxic ties is often looked down upon, especially in our society, it’s important to acknowledge that reducing interpersonal conflicts within the family can prevent numerous mental health issues.
Making such a decision might initially lead to feelings of loneliness or guilt, but it’s better than being trapped in a toxic environment that takes a toll on both your physical and mental wellbeing. Establishing strong boundaries can prevent a multitude of issues, even if it means challenging the notion that elders are always right or that things naturally improve with time. Her parting advice: “Your siblings weren’t born your enemy; even they succumbed to the circumstances that changed them. Viewing them as individuals worthy of love and amendment can be a source of mutual healing.”
Also Read: Taking Control: Expert-Backed Ways To Break Free From Toxic Family Patterns
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