Presently, there is a general understanding that health, illness and rehabilitation should be studied in a relational context, and that people's experiences, perceptions and practices in relation to health and recovery are formed relationally and contextually. The aim of this paper is to consider and discuss how men experienced their marital relationships, after being diagnosed with cancer. The empirical material is based on the authors' ethnographic fieldworks, including participant observation and interviews with men who have or have had cancer. The analysis is informed by the anthropologist Michael Jackson's notion of intersubjectivity and his argument that intersubjectivity continually and dialectically moves between the complementary poles of compassion and conflict. We demonstrate how the men appreciated their partners' support and care, but also that the cancer disease and the treatment could cause marital friction and tension. Due to their new life circumstances and subject positions, the men continuously shifted between the poles of compassion and conflict, struggling for balance and control, including negotiations of how to perform their masculinity.
Keywords: Ethnographic fieldwork; challenges; compassion; conflict; intersubjectivity.