4-Membered heterocycles have been increasingly exploited in medicinal chemistry and, as small polar motifs, often show important influence on activity and physicochemical properties. Thietane dioxides similarly offer potential in both agricultural and pharmaceutical applications but are notably understudied. Here we report a divergent approach to 3,3-disubstituted thietane dioxide derivatives by forming carbocations on the 4-membered ring with catalytic Lewis or Brønsted acids. Benzylic tertiary alcohols of the thietane dioxides are coupled directly with arenes, thiols, and alcohols.