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{{Short description|Period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage}}
{{Redirect|Courting|the band|Courting (band)|other uses|Courtship (disambiguation)}}
[[File:Leighton-God Speed!.jpg|thumb|''[[God Speed (painting)|God Speed]]'' by English artist [[Edmund Leighton]], 1900: depicting an armored [[knight]] departing for war and leaving behind his wife or sweetheart]]
'''Courtship''' is the period wherein some [[Couple (relationship)|couples]] get to know each other prior to a possible marriage or committed romantic, ''de facto'' relationship. Courtship traditionally may begin after a [[betrothal]] and may conclude with the celebration of [[marriage]].<ref name="Weller1948">{{cite book|author=Pilip T. Weller|title=Rite of Betrothal|publisher=[[Society of Saint Pius X]]|date=1948|page=2}}</ref> A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal [[arranged marriage|arrangement with family approval]]. Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a [[marriage proposal]].
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}}</ref> According to one view, clandestine meetings between men and women, generally outside of marriage or before marriage, were the precursors to today's courtship.<ref name=twsDecH34a />
From about 1700 a worldwide{{
|author= Brenda Wilson
|title= Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships
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}}</ref> in other parts of the world, such as in South Asia and many parts of the Middle East, being alone in public as a couple is not only frowned upon but can even lead to either person being socially ostracized.
The 1849 book ''The Whole Art of Polite Courtship; Or the Ladies & Gentlemen's Love Letter Writer'' exemplifies the importance of [[
In the twentieth century, courtship was sometimes seen as a precursor to marriage but it could also be considered as an end-in-itself, that is, an informal social activity akin to [[friendship]]. It generally happened in that portion of a person's life before the age of marriage,<ref name="twsDecH34b">{{cite news
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Throughout history, courtship has often included traditions such as exchanging [[valentines]], written correspondence (facilitated by the creation of the postal service in the nineteenth century), and similar communication-based courting.<ref>{{citation | last = Maurer | first = Elizabeth | title = The History of Romance | publisher = National Women's History Museum | year = 2017 | url = https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/history-romance | access-date = 2018-01-29 | archive-date = 2018-01-30 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20180130014612/https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/history-romance | url-status = live }}.</ref> Over recent decades, though, the concept of arranged marriage has changed or simply been mixed with other forms of courtship, including Eastern and Indian ones. Potential couples have the opportunity to meet and socialise with each other before deciding whether to continue the relationship.
==Courtship in social theory==
Courtship is used by a number of theorists to explain gendering processes and sexual identity. Scientific research into courtship began in the 1980s, after which time academic researchers started to generate theories about modern courtship practices and norms. Researchers have found that, contrary to popular beliefs, courtship is normally triggered and controlled by women,<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Cohen | first1 = L. L. | last2 = Shotland | first2 = R. L. | year = 1996 | title = Timing of first sexual intercourse in a relationship: Expectations, experiences, and perceptions of others | journal = Journal of Sex Research | volume = 33 | issue = 4 | pages = 291–299 | doi = 10.1080/00224499609551846}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Simpson | first1 = J. A. | last2 = Gangestad | first2 = S. W. | year = 1992 | title = Sociosexuality and Romantic Partner Choice | journal = Journal of Personality | volume = 60 | pages = 31–51 | doi = 10.1111/j.1467-6494.1992.tb00264.x}}</ref><ref>Perper, T. (1985) ''Sex Signals: The Biology Of Love'', Philadelphia, ISI Press.</ref><ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Moore | first1 = N. | year = 1985 | title = Nonverbal courtship patterns in women: contact and consequences | url = https://www.researchgate.net/publication/246974326 | journal = Ethology and Sociobiology | volume = 6 | issue = 4 | pages = 237–247 | doi=10.1016/0162-3095(85)90016-0}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Peplau | first1 = L. A. | last2 = Rubin | first2 = Z. | last3 = Hill | first3 = C. T. | year = 1977 | title = Sexual Intimacy in Dating Relationships | journal = Journal of Social Issues | volume = 33 | issue = 2 | pages = 86–109 | doi= 10.1111/j.1540-4560.1977.tb02007.x}}</ref> driven mainly by non-verbal behaviours, to which men respond. One of the functions of romantic love is courtship.<ref>{{Cite journal|last1=Bode|first1=Adam|last2=Kushnick|first2=Geoff|date=2021|title=Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love|journal=Frontiers in Psychology|language=English|volume=12|page=573123|doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2021.573123|pmid=33912094|issn=1664-1078|pmc=8074860|doi-access=free}}</ref>
This is generally supported by other theorists who specialise in the study of body language.<ref>Pease, A. and Pease, B. (2004) ''The Definitive Book Of Body Language'', London: Orion Books.</ref> There are some feminist scholars, however, who regard courtship as a socially constructed (and male-led) process organised to subjugate women.<ref>Hearn, J. & Parkin, W. (1987) ''Sex at work: The power and paradox of organisation sexuality'', Brighton: Wheatsheaf.</ref><ref>Connell, R. W. (1995) ''Gender and Power'', Cambridge: Polity Press.</ref> Farrell reports, for example, that magazines about marriage and romantic fiction continue to attract a 98% female readership.<ref>Farrell, W. (2000) ''Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say'', New York: Tarcher/Putnam.</ref> Systematic research into courtship processes inside the workplace<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Williams | first1 = C. L. | last2 = Guiffre | first2 = P. A. | last3 = Dellinger | first3 = K. | s2cid = 145150846 | year = 1999 | title = Sexuality in the Workplace: Organizational Control, Sexual Harassment and the Pursuit of Pleasure | journal = Annual Review of Sociology | volume = 25 | pages = 73–93 | doi=10.1146/annurev.soc.25.1.73}}</ref> as well as two ten-year studies examining norms in different international settings<ref>Molloy, J. (2003) ''Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others'', London: Element.</ref><ref>Buss, D. M., Abbott, M., Angleitner, A., Biaggio, A., Blanco-Villasenor, A., BruchonSchweittzer, M. [& 45 additional authors] (1990). "[https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/67686/10.1177_0022022190211001.pdf?sequence=2 International preferences in selecting mates: A study of 37 societies] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20170820025540/https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/67686/10.1177_0022022190211001.pdf?sequence=2 |date=2017-08-20 }}". ''Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology'', 21: 5–47.</ref> continue to support a view that courtship is a social process that socialises ''both'' sexes into accepting forms of relationship that maximise the chances of successfully raising children.
===Commercial courtship services===
As technology has progressed, so too have the methods of courtship. In [[online dating|online courtship]], individuals create profiles where they disclose personal information, photographs, hobbies, interests, religion and expectations. Then the user can search through hundreds of thousands of accounts and connect with multiple people at once which in return, gives the user more options and more opportunity to find what meets their standards. Online courtship has influenced the idea of [[choice]]. In ''[[Modern Romance: An Investigation]]'', [[Aziz Ansari]] states that one third of marriages in the United States between 2005 and 2012 met through online courtship services.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Ansari |first1=Aziz |title=Modern Romance |date=2015 |publisher=Penguin Press |location=New York, New York |isbn=978-1-59420-627-6 |pages=79}}</ref>
Today there are hundreds of sites to choose from and websites designed to fit specific needs such as [[Match.com|Match]], [[eHarmony]], [[OkCupid]], [[Zoosk]], and [[ChristianMingle]]. Mobile apps, such as [[Grindr]] and [[Tinder (app)|Tinder]] allow users to upload profiles that are then judged by others on the service; one can either swipe right on a profile (indicating interest) or swipe left (which presents another possible mate).{{citation needed|date=February 2024}} === Technology ===
[[File:Most popular social networking sites by country.svg|thumb|Map showing the most popular social media applications, by country; Facebook is dominant in 2019.]]
The Internet is shaping the way new generations meet; [[Facebook]], [[Skype]], [[WhatsApp]], and other applications have made remote connections possible.
Online courtship tools are an alternate way to meet potential mates.<ref>Lgbt Identity and Online New Media – Page 235, Christopher Pullen, Margaret Cooper – 2010</ref><ref>Gaydar Culture: Gay Men, Technology and Embodiment in the Digital Age – Page 186, Sharif Mowlabocus – 2010</ref> Many people use [[smartphone]] apps such as [[Tinder (app)|Tinder]], [[Grindr]], or [[Bumble (app)|Bumble]] which allow a user to accept or reject another user with a single swipe of a finger.<ref name=twsCQNews>CQ Press, CQ Researcher, Barbara Mantel, [http://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2015032000 Online dating: Can apps and algorithms lead to true love?] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160825220732/http://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2015032000 |date=2016-08-25 }}, Retrieved June 12, 2016, "...Yet some researchers say matchmaking algorithms are no better than chance for providing suitable partners.{{citation needed|date=March 2023}} At the same time, critics worry that the abundance of prospective dates available online is undermining relationships..."</ref> Some critics have suggested that matchmaking algorithms are imperfect and are "no better than chance" for the task of identifying acceptable partners.<ref name=twsCQNews /> Others have suggested that the speed and availability of emerging technologies may be undermining the possibility for couples to have long-term meaningful relationships when finding a replacement partner has potentially become too easy.<ref name=twsCQNews />
== Worldwide ==
[[File:Couple 01.JPG|A Japanese couple [[holding hands]] on the beach|thumb|right]]
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==== Ethiopia ====
According to one source, there are four ways that marriage can happen among the [[Nyangatom people]]: (1) arranged marriage, when well-respected elders are sent to the girl's family on behalf of the boy's family; (2) courtship after a friendly meeting between boy and girl such as at a market place or holiday where there's dancing; (3) abduction, such as during a blood feud between families; (4) inheritance.
==== North Africa ====
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}}</ref>
The game show ''[[Fei Cheng Wu Rao|If You Are the One]]'', titled after Chinese personal ads, featured some provocative contestants making sexual allusions and the show reportedly ran afoul of authorities and had to change its approach.<ref name="twsDecI17">{{cite news|url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-07/02/content_10049150.htm|title=Playing by the rules in the game of love|author=Li Jing|date=2010-07-02|newspaper=China Daily|access-date=2010-12-09|quote=... the popular dating show If You Are the One ...|archive-date=2010-11-09|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20101109134011/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-07/02/content_10049150.htm|url-status=live}}</ref> The two-host format involves a panel of 24 single women questioning a man to decide if he
==== India ====
[[File:South Indian wedding ceremony.jpg|thumb|left|An Indian wedding]]
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The reasons for courtship in Korea are various. Research conducted by ''Saegye Daily'' showed that teenagers choose to keep company for reasons such as "to become more mature," "to gain consultation on worries, or troubles," or "to learn the difference between boys and girls," etc.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://news.naver.com/main/read.nhn?mode=LSD&mid=sec&sid1=102&oid=022&aid=0000146456|title=중학입학전 이성교제 76%|work=naver.com}}</ref> Similarly, a news report in ''MK Daily'' showed that the primary reasons for courtship for workers of around ages 20–30 are "emotional stability," "marriage," "someone to spend time with," etc.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://news.mk.co.kr/newsRead.php?year=2013&no=442164|title=MK News – '직장인 연애 목적 1위는 결혼이 아니다'|work=mk.co.kr|date=6 June 2013|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=19 December 2014|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141219084630/http://news.mk.co.kr/newsRead.php?year=2013&no=442164|url-status=live}}</ref> An interesting feature in the reasons for courtship in Korea is that many Koreans are somewhat motivated to find a partner due to the societal pressure that often views single persons as incompetent.<ref name="news.kukinews.com">{{cite web|url=http://news.kukinews.com/article/view.asp?page=1&gCode=kmi&arcid=0006704337&cp=nv|title=[살며 사랑하며-안주연] 연애 난민|work=kukinews.com|date=9 December 2012|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=5 December 2014|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141205121635/http://news.kukinews.com/article/view.asp?page=1&gCode=kmi&arcid=0006704337&cp=nv|url-status=live}}</ref>
Present Korean courtship shows a changing attitude due to the influence of tradition and modernization. There are a lot of Confucian ideas and practices that still saturate South Korean culture and daily life as traditional values.<ref>[[Korean Confucianism#Contemporary society and Confucianism]]</ref> Patriarchy in Korea has been grounded on Confucian culture that postulated hierarchical social orders according to age and sex.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Kim|first1=Kwang-ok|chapter=The Reproduction of Confucian Culture in Contemporary Korea: An Anthropological Study |title=Confucian Traditions in East Asian Modernity|date=1996|publisher=Harvard University Press}}</ref> Patriarchy is "a system of social structure and practices in which men dominate, oppress and exploit women” which is well reflected in the ways of courtship in Korea.<ref>{{cite journal|title=|journal=The Review of Korean Studies|date=2002|volume=5|issue=2|page=9}}</ref>{{
Most Koreans tend to regard courtship as a precursor to marriage. According to a survey conducted by Gyeonggi-do Family Women's Researcher on people of age 26–44, 85.7% of respondents replied as ‘willing to get married’. The market for marriage agencies are growing continuously.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://news.mk.co.kr/newsRead.php?year=2013&no=1203881|title=MK News – "배우자나 찾아볼까"…불황에도 '잘나가는' 결혼정보회사|work=mk.co.kr|date=29 November 2013|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=19 December 2014|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141219084612/http://news.mk.co.kr/newsRead.php?year=2013&no=1203881|url-status=live}}</ref> DUO and Gayeon are one of the major marriage agencies in Korea. Also, "Mat-sun", the blind date which is usually based on the premise of marriage, is held often among ages of late 20s to 30s.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.acrofan.com/ko-kr/live/news/20130124/00000008|access-date=2017-03-14|date=2013-01-24|title=미혼女 35%, '나이들수록 맞선상대 단점 부각'|trans-title=Unemployed women, 35%|language=ko|website=acrofan.com|archive-date=2016-04-21|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160421013529/http://www.acrofan.com/ko-kr/live/news/20130124/00000008|url-status=live}}</ref> But the late trend is leaning towards the separation between courtship and marriage unlike the conservative ways of the past.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.ebuzz.co.kr/news/min/2646961_4993.html|archive-url=https://archive.today/20140626204244/http://www.ebuzz.co.kr/news/min/2646961_4993.html|url-status=dead|archive-date=2014-06-26|title=애인과 결혼이 망설여지는 이유는 무엇?}}</ref> In the survey conducted by a marriage agency, of 300 single males and females who were asked of their opinions on marrying their lovers, about only 42% of the males and 39% of the females said yes.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.munhwa.com/news/view.html?no=20120914MW155627466399|title=미혼남녀 절반이상 '연애 상대와 결혼, 글쎄'|work=munhwa.com|date=2012-09-14|access-date=2017-03-14|trans-title=More than half of unmarried men and women|language=ko|archive-date=2017-06-27|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20170627122643/http://www.munhwa.com/news/view.html?no=20120914MW155627466399|url-status=live}}</ref> There are also cases of courtship without the premise of marriage. However, the majority still takes getting into a relationship seriously.
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==== Singapore ====
[[Singapore]]'s largest courtship service, SDU, [[Social Development Unit]], is government-run. The original SDU, which controversially promoted marriages among university graduate singles, no longer exists today. On 28 January 2009, it was merged with SDS [Social Development Services], which just as controversially promoted marriages among non-graduate singles. The merged unit, SDN
==== Taiwan ====
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}}</ref>
Whilst the practice of so-called "white marriage" (cohabitation) is trending,<ref>{{Cite web |url=https://www.latimes.com/world/middleeast/la-fg-iran-white-marriage-20150529-story.html |title=
==== Israel ====
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|url-status= live
}}</ref>
=== North America ===
==== United States====
{{see also|History of courtship in the United States}}
One report suggested the [[United States]] as well as other western-oriented countries were different from the rest of the world because "love is the reason for mating," as opposed to marriages being arranged to cement economic and class ties between families and promote political stability.<ref name=twsDecM11 /> Courtship–known there as '[[dating]]'–by mutual consent of two single people, is the norm. British writer [[Kira Cochrane]], after moving to the U.S., found herself grappling with the American approach to courtship.<ref name=twsDecH27a134k /> She wondered why it was acceptable to juggle "10 potential partners" while weighing different attributes; she found American-style dating to be "exhausting and strange."<ref name=twsDecH27a134k>{{cite news
|author= Kira Cochrane
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|archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151225010919/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/rules-of-dating
|url-status= live
}}</ref> She found courtship in America to be "organized in a fairly formal fashion" with men approaching women and asking point blank for a date; she found this to be "awkward."<ref name=twsDecH27a134k /> She described the
|author= Kira Cochrane
|title= Should I follow any rules?
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|archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151225010919/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/rules-of-dating
|url-status= live
}}</ref> She wrote: "Dating rules almost always cast the man as aggressor, and the woman as prey, which frankly makes me feel nauseous."<ref name=twsDecH27a134kaa /> [[Canada|Canadian]] writer [[Danielle Crittenden]]
|author= Danielle Crittenden
|title= What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman (book excerpt)
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}}</ref>
There is evidence that
Teenagers and college-aged students tend to avoid the more formal activity of dating, and prefer casual no-strings-attached experiments sometimes described as '[[wikt:hookup|hookup]]s'. It permits young women to "go out and fit into the social scene, get attention from young men, and learn about sexuality", according to one report by [[sociology|sociologists]].<ref name=twsDecM12b>{{cite news |author1=Elizabeth A. Armstrong |author2=Laura Hamilton |author3=Paula England |author3-link=Paula England |title=Is Hooking Up Bad For Young Women? |publisher=American Sociological Association |date=Summer 2010 |url=http://contexts.org/articles/summer-2010/is-hooking-up-bad-for-young-women/ |access-date=2010-12-13 |archive-date=2015-01-02 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20150102213041/http://contexts.org/articles/summer-2010/is-hooking-up-bad-for-young-women/ |url-status=live }}</ref> The term ''[[Hookup culture|hookup]]'' can describe a wide variety of behavior ranging from kissing to non-genital touching; according to one report, only about one third of people had [[sexual intercourse]].<ref name=twsDecM12b /> A contrary report, however, suggested there has been no "sea change" in sexual behavior regarding college students from 1988 onwards, and that the term ''hookup'' itself continued to be used to describe a variety of relationships, including merely socializing or passionate kissing as well as sexual intercourse.<ref>Brian Alexander, NBC News, August 12, 2013, [http://www.today.com/health/new-study-hooking-finds-no-sexual-sea-change-6C10904068 New study on ‘hooking up’ finds no sexual sea change] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230316143624/https://www.today.com/health/new-study-hooking-finds-no-sexual-sea-change-6C10904068 |date=2023-03-16 }}, American Sociological Association, retrieved Aug. 12, 2013</ref>
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|archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151224203906/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/online-dating-etiquette-advice
|url-status= live
}}</ref>
In the UK, one estimate from 2009 was that 15 million people are single, and half of these are seeking a long-term relationship; three-quarters of them have not been in a relationship for more than 18 months.<ref name=twsDecH34c /> A Pew study in 2005 which examined Internet users in long-term relationships including marriage, found that many met by contacts at work or at school.<ref name=twsDecH19e>{{cite news
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|archive-date= 2010-11-28
|url-status= dead
}}</ref> In a twelve-month period, the average number of assignations that a single person will have is four.<ref name=twsDecH34c>{{cite news
|title= Raw dater
|newspaper= The Guardian
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==== Italy ====
Italians maintain a conservative approach to courtship. Also, inviting friends or relatives during a rendezvous is not uncommon. More modern approaches such as 'blind dates,' 'speed dating' and websites are not as popular as abroad, and are not considered very effective by the majority of the population.{{Citation needed|date=September 2021}}
=== Oceania ===
==== Australia ====
A
|author= Vanessa Fuchs
|title= Shy guys switching on to text message courtship – and girls say it's OK
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|archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20121118120305/http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/money/money-matters/cheap-dates-for-more-luck-at-love/story-fn300aev-1225943068369
|url-status= live
}}</ref>
=== South America ===
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== Matchmakers ==
{{Main|Matchmaking}}
{{
[[File:Gerrit van Honthorst - De koppelaarster.jpg|thumb|right|''The Matchmaker'' <br />painting by Gerard van Honthorst (1590–1656)]]
People can meet other people on their own or the get-together can be arranged by someone else. Matchmaking is an art based entirely on hunches, since it is impossible to predict with certainty whether two people will like each other or not. "All you should ever try and do is make two people be in the same room at the same time," advised matchmaker Sarah Beeny in 2009, and the only rule is to make sure the people involved want to be set up.<ref name=twsDecH27ee3>{{cite news
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|archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20120628203421/http://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
|url-status= live
}}</ref><ref name=twsDecH21 /> A friend can introduce two people who do not know each other, and the friend may play matchmaker and send them on a [[wikt:blind date|blind date]].
=== Family as matchmakers ===
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==Further reading==
* {{cite book |title=Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating |author=Moira Weigel |year=2016 |publisher=Farrar, Straus and Giroux |isbn=978-0374182533}}
* Holloway, Sally (2024). “The Real Rules of Courtship: Dating in the Regency Era.” https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/specialfeatures/the-real-rules-of-courtship-dating-in-the-regency-era/#
==External links==
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* {{cite journal | last1 = Heidinger | first1 = Ina Monika Margret |display-authors=et al | year = 2014 | title = Factors Influencing the Duration and Frequency of Nuptial Flights | journal = Insects | volume = 5 | issue = 3 | pages = 513–527 | doi=10.3390/insects5030513 | pmid = 26462822 | pmc = 4592583 | doi-access = free }}
* {{cite journal | last1 = Sabar | first1 = Nassar | last2 = Ayob | first2 = Masri | last3 = Kendall | first3 = Graham | last4 = Qu | first4 = Rong | year = 2012| title = A honey-bee mating optimization algorithm for educational timetabling problems; | journal = European Journal of Operational Research | volume = 216 | issue = 3 | pages = 533–543 | doi=10.1016/j.ejor.2011.08.006| citeseerx = 10.1.1.298.7164 }}
* {{cite journal | last1 = Neumann | first1 = Peter | last2 = Moritz | first2 = Robin F. A. | last3 = Praagh | first3 = Jobvan | year = 1999 | title = Queen mating frequency in different types of honey bee mating apiaries | journal = Journal of Apicultural Research| volume = 38 | issue = 1–2 | pages = 11–18 | doi=10.1080/00218839.1999.11100990| bibcode = 1999JApiR..38...11N }}
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