Talk:Harvey brothers/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk) 22:09, 21 July 2010 (UTC) I've begun the review. No big issues so far.[reply]

Lead

The lead seems long at 5 paragraphs, but I can see why it needs to be lengthy.
"While the brothers played together for Fitzroy on a regular basis, they did not play first-class cricket together on a regular basis" Repetition of regular basis
"Ray followed in subsequent season, and the trio played in two matches together for their state. However, their appearances together became more sporadic after this": Should be subsequent seasons; also not clear about what becomes more sporadic. The sentence reads like they only played two matches together in total, so this can't become sporadic! Presumably it means that they played together less without them all playing.
"Mick had his debut but left Victoria after being unable to hold his position in the team": When?

Done these YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 00:55, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Early years

"and their father, although regularly at the club": Does not read well: possibly "a regular at the club"?
"Saturday night entertainment for the family typically consisted of dinner after the day’s cricket matches for Fitzroy, and Plant, Liddicut and other club personnel were often invited." Is this much detail necessary?

done first as "Regular presence" it's not obvious that he was a member or didn't seem to be. For the routine, well it's said that the family was strict one what they could or couldn't do, so might as well, as they never went to parties etc

More to follow later. --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:09, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Neil Harvey

Minor quibble: Wisden calls him the finest outfielder, but not worth changing.

I think outfielder means non-keeper in this context. It can't mean a boundary rider as Harvey never was and ODIs etc didn't exist in those days. Unless "outfielder" means a non slipper/bat padder or other stationary catchers rather than cover etc. I could resort to Arlott and Fingo endorsing him too I guess, more explicitly YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 01:39, 23 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"... a record that still stands." Does this need dating (i.e. "as of July 2010"); I've been pulled up for this before!
"He was then the youngest member of the 1948 Invincibles of Don Bradman" I assume that you mean following his debut in 47-48 he was the youngest member of the following tour. It reads a bit ambiguously, I think "subsequently" or something similar is needed rather than "then".
"Harvey continued in the role until the end of his career": a role is not specified here; presumably it means as a non-captaining batsman.
""Battle of the Ridge"": Seems a bit obscure to drop in without explanation. And I'm not sure here is the place to explain the Lord's ridge! Maybe ""Battle of the Ridge", so called as it was played on an erratic surface."
Three "regarded as" in this paragraph. Maybe change a couple?

Merv Harvey

"...he made an impression...": on who?
"... winning one match and drawing the rest." Drawing the rest does not sound right; possibly "with the rest drawn." Or maybe it's just me.
Possible linking needed for opening batsman, drive, hook, fast bowling.
Is there an average for his Fitzroy runs?
Robert Harvey was a level 3 header; the others are all level 2. I realise that this is because he was Merv's grandson, but to me it looks a little odd, like it was a slip. I changed it, then changed it back as I was undecided. I still think it's odd, but I'll go with whichever you think.

Yeah, but family tree wise, he would be down a level, I didn't decide for l4, lol YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 01:39, 23 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mick Harvey

"His initial first-class match was in 1974–75": I know this is as an umpire, and it probably doesn't need spelling out, but it might read better if it was specified. (I didn't realise umpires went to WSC as well!)

Ray Harvey

"Harvey made only seven in his only innings": repetition of "only"
"but went into a form slump": his form slumped or a loss of form would sound better.
Average for Fitzroy?

Harold and Brian Harvey

"...play in the firsts": does it need "first XI"?
Link fitter and turner? I'm not too sure what they are myself.
When did Brian die? A date might make it read easier (I know it is elsewhere in the article but I'm a lazy reader)

First class team mates

"The pair put only 96 runs": put on? put on only?
"This continued in the first innings of the match against Queensland..." This presumably being short partnerships?
"before being dropped for the second and final match against Victoria.[36][15][17]" refs need putting in numerical order.
To be honest, this section seems a little dry when you read it, but nothing really wrong with it.

Allgemein

Is there any particular order to the brothers in this article. I would have thought chronological order made most sense, but I can't work out why they are in this order. The only one that jars is Robert, but I can understand why he follows Merv.
Not much is made about their baseball; I've little idea about how important it should be, I just wondered if a little more could be said.\

Nothing stated in the sources or Harvey's autobiog. There is no regular baseball comp in Aus, only a one-week interstate carnival YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 01:39, 23 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sources are all good.

Just about complete now, but I'll have a last look tomorrow. No problems really, and will pass once you've had a look at the comments. --Sarastro1 (talk) 21:50, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

One other quibble. The image of the three brothers does not look great as it is a photo of a photo. Would a scan be possible? However, the quality will not affect passing the article. Also, should the source indicate what book it comes from? --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:04, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

No, because the book is in a non-lending library and I couldn't bring it out. I should come back some time and try to get it straight YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 00:18, 23 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK now, happy to pass.--Sarastro1 (talk) 20:49, 23 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]