The bullseye: April 16, 2010

HITS
· Dear Hollywood, Please put Mark Wahlberg in all movies. Shirtless.
· Sean Kingston and Justin Bieber sing most addictive pop song in months, ”Eenie Meenie,” then curl up with their blankies for nap time.
· Emily Blunt turns down role as Captain America’s girlfriend. ”Duh, I’m British,” she says.
· Aaron Sorkin may pen a movie on the John Edwards scandal. Working title: The West Fling.
· Silver lining emerges from Izzie-less Grey’s Anatomy: more airtime for the underrated Justin Chambers.
· True Blood‘s Anna Paquin comes out as bisexual. Apparently she prefers humans and vampires.

NEAR MISSES
· Cheerio, Ugly Betty. We’ll miss you!
· Carrie Underwood, since you are not Elizabeth Taylor or Princess Di, we do not need to know every single detail of your wedding preparations.
· Demi Lovato
· Demi Moore
· Demigod (Perseus in Clash of the Titans)

MISSES
· Aphasia on Lost
· Alasia on America’s Next Top Model
· The Olsen twins look like they’re attending a memorial service for Kimmy Gibbler.
· 3-D fatigue
· The depressing realization we will probably never see Boston Rob play Survivor again
· Does Joe Jonas ever date outside the Disney gene pool?
· Wishing that Tiger were competing on Top Chef Masters instead of (yawn!) the Masters
· The painfully obvious title of The Big Lebowski porn spoof, The Big Lebowski
· Apparently, Nic Cage’s hair has declared follicular bankruptcy.