Sorry to conspiracy theorists. Kansas City loves the Chiefs — and so does most of Missouri

Apparently not everyone is thrilled with the prospect of Kansas City returning to the Super Bowl against San Francisco.

“Bleh. How uninspired. How anti-climatic. How disappointing,” is how a USA Today story summed up fan reaction outside of the Chiefs Kingdom and the Bay area.

Sorry, not sorry. We here in Kansas City believe we totally deserve to wrack up Super Bowl honors for as long as Patrick Mahomes can throw a football. 

Also, sorry if you are bothered by the appearance of pop star Taylor Swift at Chiefs games. Here’s a pro tip: Cover your eyes for at least 30 seconds every time the Chiefs score a touchdown or Travis Kelce catches the football. That should minimize the upsetting glimpses of a woman enjoying herself in the suites. 

And, awfully sorry if you are giving any credence to the bizarre idea that Swift’s romance with Kelce is a contrived plot to unite the fan bases of the pop star and the National Football League in support of Joe Biden’s re-election bid. 

For that, I can only recommend therapy.

The bizarre conspiracy theory that turned Taylor Swift into an antihero to the GOP

The theory is bonkers on so many levels. Not least of which is the notion that a grand conspiracy to harness the power of the Swifties to prop up a Democratic candidate would be centered in a city in Missouri, a state that hasn’t voted blue in a presidential race since 1996.

Granted, Kansas City itself votes Democratic. And some of the local fans booed Republican Gov. Mike Parson when he showed up on the stage outside of Union Station to help celebrate the Chiefs Super Bowl victory last year. 

That was rude. But Parson has signed his name onto laws limiting abortion, health care for transgender youth and gun safety that are deeply harmful to Kansas City residents. So, not sorry.

In the big picture, though, the Kansas City Chiefs football team is one of the few institutions that can bridge Missouri’s rural-urban, red-blue divide. It might be the only one right now.

Drive through Missouri on an autumn Sunday when there’s a home game at Arrowhead Stadium and you’ll find red Chiefs flags flying from vehicles making their way to Kansas City from every corner of the state. The Chiefs radio network broadcasts in more than 70 Missouri cities.

I randomly googled “Kansas City Chiefs” and “Joplin, Missouri,” to get a pulse on whether the Swift-Kelce-Biden conspiracy was gaining traction in that red niche of the state.

What I found was an announcement that a venue called Journey Through Slime was sponsoring an event whereby kids and adults could craft slime creations with a Taylor Swift or Chiefs theme, and enjoy a Kansas City Chiefs cookie in the bargain. Based on the Journey Through Slime’s Facebook page, the event was a big hit. People stood in line to get in.

Far right media figures and departed GOP presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy find it highly suspicious that Swift, an entertainer who has endorsed Biden and other Democrats in the past, has teamed up with Kelce, who has appeared in ads for Pfizer, the vaccine maker, and Budweiser, which had signed off on a brief partnership with a transgender influencer.

“An artificially culturally propped-up couple,” is how Ramaswamy put it, as if Taylor Swift, one of the world’s busiest women, could somehow be manipulated to appear at 12 Chiefs games, including one in Kansas City where the wind chill dipped to negative 27, and another in Buffalo, New York, just after a snowstorm.

It speaks again to the presence of the Chiefs as a unifying force that statewide Republican politicians — even those who are normally on high alert for stirrings from “the woke mob” — aren’t jumping in on the cultural backlash. 

Sen. Josh Hawley congratulated the team on social media, singling out “my friend” Harrison Butker, the kicker, who is open about his anti-abortion views. 

Sen. Eric Schmitt’s X account reposted a Chiefs photo montage that prominently features Kelce.

Parson also posted congratulatory messages. “Missouri’s team gets it done!” he gushed, and displayed a photo of a tattoo on his arm that he said was partly inspired by the Chief’s victory in last year’s Super Bowl. 

The governor’s excitement over the Chiefs playoff run was not enough to prompt him to include money in his proposed budget for the upcoming year to finance stadium upgrades for either the Chiefs or the Kansas City Royals. He told reporters the teams’ proposals were still too undefined to put money behind. He’s got a point. Nothing stretches fan loyalties like a hit to their pocketbooks. So expect more developments on that front as the year continues.

For now, the Chiefs are in their winning era, so much so that folks in other places find us boring and/or irritating. Sorry, not sorry. Here in Missouri, the Chiefs Kingdom remains one of our last bipartisan tents. That’s something to be glad about.