What’s the point of nabbing a reservation at a hot New York restaurant during the holiday season if you get stuck at the bathroom-adjacent table, sniffing eau de urine and bleach all night long?
“If I’m being escorted to a bad table, before I even sit down, I’ll . . . immediately start my way back to the host stand and wait for what I want,” Reginald Bruno Woody, a former maitre d’ at the Meatpacking District’s clubby STK and Morimoto, tells The Post.
Although the top seat in every house varies, in general, the most coveted seats are the “display tables” — those immediately visible to people just walking in, but far away enough from the front door that there’s no draft.
“[The display tables] have the best angles of the restaurant,” says Woody. “You see everyone and everyone sees you.”
The worst seats, he says, are generally the aforementioned bathroom tables, the frigid spots by the front door in winter or chairs jammed next to the kitchen, baking in the heat of a too-hot stove.
So how do you score one of the more coveted posts — especially during one of the busiest times of the year?
‘I’m still not putting you at a prominent table unless you are dressed well or extravagantly and look the part.’
If you’re booking online, you have more options than ever to make your preferences clear, says Joseph Essas, chief technology officer at OpenTable. This summer, the online reservation company rolled out a “seating options” tool nationwide, allowing diners to pre-book specific spots at restaurants, such as bar stools or patio seats. A similar service, Resy, also lets you pick your spot at certain restaurants.
But Helena Majstrovic, who’s been lead host at the original Delmonico’s downtown for 11 years, suggests going old-school and actually picking up the phone.
“It’s nice to hear a voice behind a name,” says Majstrovic. “I do like that personal touch.”
If you’re really hellbent on a certain table, try reaching out early, she says. “We have some clients that book up to two months in advance to make sure they get the table they like.” The smart ones also call the day of their reservation to confirm that spot, Majstrovic says.
Need a table for this weekend? Put the trendy new place on the back burner, and call in a few favors at a restaurant you frequent, says Woody. He says that having a good personal relationship with restaurant staff will always score you a better table and a different level of service.
“It’s literally all about regulars and family. It’s who you know,” he says.
At fancy restaurants like Delmonico’s, Majstrovic says, the staff even keeps notes on its regulars, including their favorite servers, cocktails, dishes, special occasions and, yes, table preferences.
But if you absolutely have to try somewhere new and want to guarantee good placement when you arrive, be sure to dress your best, says Woody.
“Regardless of how you made the reservation, I’m still not putting you at a prominent table unless you are dressed well or extravagantly and look the part,” Woody says.
The same goes at Delmonico’s: You don’t necessarily need a jacket and tie at the buttoned-up spot, but you aren’t getting prioritized if you look like a schlub. Majstrovic suggests checking a restaurant’s website for the dress code, or, if you aren’t very internet-savvy, calling the restaurant in advance to ask.
“First impressions matter,” Majstrovic says. “You need to follow the dress code. Delmonico’s is business casual. No tank tops, hats or sandals.”
Another way to guarantee a terrible table is showing up late. Although Majstrovic says you don’t need to arrive early, if you are running more than five minutes late, call the restaurant to let them know. Most restaurants will work with you even if some of your party is running late, she says, but at a certain point, they’ve got to get on with the night.
‘Cash is king, money talks and bulls–t walks. If you want a great table, tip the maitre d’.’
And if all else fails? Hit the ATM.
“Cash is king, money talks and bulls–t walks,” says Woody. “If you want a great table, tip the maitre d’ . . . Put a nice, crisp $20 in your hand and shake the [host’s] hand … be direct.” He says that, “at a nice place,” anywhere from $20 to $50 for a party of two to four is generally smart.
Majstrovic says she rarely gets slipped cash for a good table at Delmonico’s, but she does “sometimes receive gifts from regulars” or get extra tips on holidays and special occasions.
But you don’t have to do anything insane, Woody says. Just be classy, and not a jerk.
“If you’re late, not dressed appropriately or have a ‘Do you know who I am?’ attitude, a table next to the cleaning closet is waiting for you,” he says.