Bess the gawkie, or, Jamie slighted — The woman's praise of tea, with the man's answer

1802

Exported from Wikisource on July 9, 2024

The WOMAN'S PRAISE of TEA

SOME men do rail against tea,

and say that it makes butter dear,

But let them say all that they will,

it's cheaper than brandy or beer.

They say they make butter with curd,

when the wives do the best they can;

Who is it can blame a good woman,

for doing the best for a man.

By the help of a man we were made,

and over us they were to rule;

The man that denies his wife tea,

has got no more wit than a fool.

There's a penny for a quartern of tea,

a penny for sugar’s the price,

What man will deny his wife tea,

as two pence will breakfast her twice.

When the best of the tea it is over,

there's a dish for the children or maid,

It is cheaper than milk; or small beer,

when to such fine ale it is made.

My husband he goes to an ale-house,

and soon drinks two quarts of strong beer,

With a pipe to his mouth like a lord,

says His wife has no buisness there.

He talks of the news of the nation,

carouses with merry good cheer:

Denies his wife tea which is cheaper,

than either good brandy or beer.

Tea and snuff is always my comfort,

and’s been all ths days of my life,

The man that denies his wife tea,

I wish him a sad drunken wife

There is some low-lif'd husbands says,

He must buy butter and bread,

But the women will have their tea,

when butter-milk husbands are dead.

THE ANSWER.

NOW Bet I have heard thy petitions,

your praise in extolling of tea,

And if that you give no more reasons,

thou's ne'er get a verdict from me.

It's said, that tea makes butter dear,

but certainly that is not true

For as that you state your expenses,

there's none of it eaten by you.

You count but for sugar and tea,

then where is the butter and bread,

I judge you take something before it,

or there is no teeth in your head!

Or dost thou like fish live on water?

the costliest living I call;

On gin, rum, or good hot brandy,

I judge thou’rt a tipler of all.

Then says that thy husband loves beer,

tobacco, and nappy brown ale;

When thou lives on nothing but tea,

and that of a penny each meal.

O happy’s the man that hath got thee,

if thou earns but fourpence a day,

Then sixpence a week I’ll allow thee,

to clothe thee in comely array.

As thou lives on nought but sweet water,

to be sure a sweet wife thou must be,

But if ever I wed for the better,

it’s ne’er be a lover of tea.

As at it they learn the poor fashion,

cups reading, to clash and to lie,

And tell how Jack our of passion,

he never gives comfort to me.

But turns his cold bum to my belly,

and there he lies snoring all night,

He surely loves some other madam,

or else I would have more delight.

I am kiss'd only twice in the week,

and that’s a poor pitiful thing:

And oh! to be married again,

for I love all things in the spring.

This work was published before January 1, 1929, and is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.

About this digital edition

This e-book comes from the online library Wikisource. This multilingual digital library, built by volunteers, is committed to developing a free accessible collection of publications of every kind: novels, poems, magazines, letters...

We distribute our books for free, starting from works not copyrighted or published under a free license. You are free to use our e-books for any purpose (including commercial exploitation), under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 Unported license or, at your choice, those of the GNU FDL.

Wikisource is constantly looking for new members. During the transcription and proofreading of this book, it's possible that we made some errors. You can report them at this page.

The following users contributed to this book:

- Annalang13

- Josef Roivas

- AndrewOfWyntoun

- ShakespeareFan00

- Rocket000

- Boris23

- KABALINI

- Bromskloss

- Tene~commonswiki

- AzaToth

- Bender235

- PatríciaR

Table of Contents

Title page

Bess the gawkie, or, Jamie slighted — The woman's praise of tea, with the man's answer

About