Almost a year ago, I lost my remarkable rescue dog, Tallulah, after 13 years together. It was a staggering blow; one I knew would come someday, but one I never wanted to prepare for.
After talking to my friends for weeks and finding it difficult to discuss how upset I was without tearing up (or bursting into tears completely, depending on how my friends reacted to the news), I found this book by chance and it really made a difference.
For some time, I was "upset that I was so upset," since I had been able to process deaths of family members and move on quickly, while this one struck me as a lingering sadness. Mr. Kowalski's book made me realize that there are reasons for this reaction, and, more importantly, that they are a natural part of human emotion (SPOILER ALERT: We spend every waking moment with our pets, letting them sleep near us, watching us while we get dressed in the morning, and taking them to the mailbox with us, so, yes, it's okay to miss that presence.)
I've read some reviews that fault this book for making them more upset, and I can understand why they feel that way. This is not a book that will make the hurt go away, but it is a book that will make you feel better about being upset, and will give you some comfort in knowing that there's nothing wrong with you or the grief you are feeling. We all process our grief on different timetables, but it's important to remember that it's not a race and it's okay to take all the time you need.
I read this about six weeks after Tallulah left, and while it turned the waterworks on, it did so in a way that was cathartic and helpful. There's even a chapter on when to open your home up to a new pet (and that depends completely on you) that made me realize it wasn't a betrayal, but a tribute to your beloved to do so. In July, we rescued a Lab/Hound mix named Conrad, and while he won't replace our girl, I realize there's enough room in our hearts to love this little guy just as much.
Our pets are a joyous part of our lives. They're steadier in their emotions than we are and accept the fact that they can build their worlds around us and ask for surprisingly little in return. This book acknowledges that whether your pet has four legs, fins, a shell, or scales, when they leave us, they leave a tremendous void that hits us hard. And it let me know that it was okay to ache, because that means they did the job they were sent to do.
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Very helpful
I was looking for a book to help me deal with losing my beagle of over 16 years. I never entertained the thought of losing my pet Lucy although she was getting old. One morning before breakfast her hind legs just could not support her body anymore. I was in disbelief and shocked. All the emotions mentioned in the book I have been experiencing. It has been a month since she left us and it is still hard. The tears have dried but there is a sadness and longing to hold her again. It is a great book, well written. Personally, I would give this book a new title- Goodbye, my Child. I feel that I can make new friends but a child whether human or a pet is irreplaceable.I took care of Lucy thru her illnesses and happy times. She knew I was her mama and she was my baby. I highly recommend this book.
Top reviews from other countries
Kindle Customer
Comforting and reassuring
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 8, 2021
KS
Words to help those grieving the loss of animal companions
Reviewed in Canada on November 26, 2015