Dear Abby: Here is a dilemma that I think we`ve all faced at one time. You are at a party and someone greets you by name. The face is familiar, but you can`t remember the name. The person begins talking to you, then suddenly somebody you know joins you. You want to introduce the two but can`t remember the name of the stranger. What do you do?
On the Spot
Dear On: You`ll probably never believe this, but I just happen to have a new book on my desk titled ”Letitia Baldridge`s Complete Guide to Executive Manners.” I looked in the index under ”Introducing People” and found the following:
”While the easiest solution is to admit that you have temporarily forgotten a name, there is another alternative. It`s called the `talk fast and maybe they won`t guess the truth` solution. If you have forgotten the name of the person who has joined your group, begin talking quickly in a pleasant, even funny, exaggerated way. Build up the ego of the person whose name you can`t recall:
”`Listen, everyone, this is someone I haven`t seen for a long, long time, but he was such a fantastic salesman that the rumor is he almost sold the office building to his company president!`
”If the only thing you can remember about a person is where he lives, you can almost always drag out a little story that will cause everyone to smile. Soon they are shaking hands and everyone is introducing himself all around. Probably the newcomer and the others in the group don`t even realize you never once mentioned his name. (It works, because I do it all the time.)
”Honesty, however, is always the best policy. Just admit the name has slipped your mind. Generally, you will be forgiven.”
This book is an absolute treasure. You don`t have to be an executive to learn from it; anyone who works with other people will find it enormously helpful. It`s more than a guide to manners; it`s a practical guide to common- sense behavior in hundreds of social and business situations. It`s published by Rawson Associates, and can be found at your local book dealer`s. The price is $22.95–not inexpensive, but worth every penny.
Dear Abby: ”Stumped in Baltimore” seems upset when people ask her if her baby is her grandchild. She is 45 years old.
Our last child was born when I was 51 and my wife 42. This little boy was a much-wanted child, and when people would ask, ”Is that your grandson?” I would answer in the affirmative, ”Yes, he is my grand son!!” (With the accent on the ”grand.”)
That was 23 years ago, and believe me, he is still my grand son-even though I`m not his grandfather!
C.L. Concklin, M.D.,
Corpus Christi, Texas.
