We’ve heard a lot about difficult conversations, but you believe all conversations are difficult. Please explain.
In recent years we have heard a lot about so-called difficult conversations from the realm of academic research and in the public discourse. The focus has been on conversations like negotiations, delivering constructive feedback, giving hard advice or other things that we have come to think about as difficult. But what I’ve come to realize through my life, teaching and research is that even easy conversations are difficult.
That’s because every conversation we have involves uncertainty and a lack of control. We are co-constructing this interaction right now, Matt. I don’t know what you’re going to say next; I don’t know what you’re thinking — and I can’t possibly know. I can’t control how you react to what I say or what you think of me. That uncertainty is always there.
People who assertively switch topics are great conversationalists.
Once you delve into the complexity and nuance that live and breathe within each conversation, you begin to see why conversations are so hard — even when our goals align and
