The Seed Keeper: A Novel
By Diane Wilson
4.5/5
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About this ebook
Rosalie Iron Wing has grown up in the woods with her father, Ray, a former science teacher who tells her stories of plants, of the stars, of the origins of the Dakhóta people. Until, one morning, Ray doesn’t return from checking his traps. Told she has no family, Rosalie is sent to live with a foster family in nearby Mankato—where the reserved, bookish teenager meets rebellious Gaby Makespeace, in a friendship that transcends the damaged legacies they’ve inherited.
On a winter’s day many years later, Rosalie returns to her childhood home. A widow and mother, she has spent the previous two decades on her white husband’s farm, finding solace in her garden even as the farm is threatened first by drought and then by a predatory chemical company. Now, grieving, Rosalie begins to confront the past, on a search for family, identity, and a community where she can finally belong. In the process, she learns what it means to be descended from women with souls of iron—women who have protected their families, their traditions, and a precious cache of seeds through generations of hardship and loss, through war and the insidious trauma of boarding schools.
Weaving together the voices of four indelible women, The Seed Keeper is a beautifully told story of reawakening, of remembering our original relationship to the seeds and, through them, to our ancestors.
Diane Wilson
Diane Wilson is an award-winning writer, speaker, and editor. Her work includes Spirit Car: Journey to a Dakota Past (2006), Beloved Child: A Dakota Way of Life (2011), and The Seed Keeper (2021) which won the Minnesota Book Award. Her essays have been featured in many publications, including We Are Meant to Rise; Kinship: Belonging in a World of Relations; and A Good Time for the Truth. Wilson is a Mdewakanton descendent, enrolled on the Rosebud Reservation.
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- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It taught me more about where I’m from genetically. Philamayaye
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The Seed Keeper - Diane Wilson
PROLOGUE
I opened the door that morning and the world seemed to right itself, as if all those years had meant nothing but waiting for that one moment. When my great-aunt Darlene Kills Deer used to tell this story, even to me, she was unsure if she had dreamed it. In a voice roughened from years of smoke and sweetened by cherry throat lozenges, she would tell me:
Rosalie, you walked in as if you had only stepped out for cigarettes at the corner store. As if all our lives we had lived next door to each other, and had gone to powwows together, and traveled home in a secondhand ocean-blue Pontiac with the driver’s door wired shut with a bent coat hanger. As if I were there at the birth of your boy, close enough to cut the umbilical cord and to bury the placenta in the garden.
The garden.
What did you think when you walked into my small room? One side a pharmacy of pills stacked near an old woman’s recliner. The other side, by my window, a garden made of buckets and cans packed with precious soil I carried from the city’s rose garden. I went at night, just after dusk, and filled my bucket nearly to the top, allowing a bit of room to spill, to lose a precious inch on the bus ride home when the wašíču would glare as if no one wanted to sit too close to the crazy Indian with her heavy pail. No one offered to help when they watched me bump and drag that pail through the door. Phhh. I did not need their help.
In each container, I placed a single seed after wetting it first in my mouth. That wakes it, you see, tells the seed that the sleeping time is done. It’s the spit that brings us together.
People told me it couldn’t be done. No. They said it shouldn’t be done. Not on the third floor of an apartment building for elders. Think of the mess. Think of the inconvenience. Think of the strangeness of it. I could only shrug my shoulders, thinking of their strangeness in not seeing the absolute necessity for what I was doing.
See that corn there? Have you ever seen anything grow so straight and tall? There’s a good reason for what I’m doing. If I told you it came to me in a dream, would you believe me? How about if I told you that a crow, one with a husky voice that sounded like my sister Lorraine’s after all her years of smoking, was the one who said it was time for me to plant this garden?
You seemed surprised when you came in. But your call caught me by surprise, too, caught in the moment of thinking about you, saying a prayer with the hope that wherever you were, you were healthy and safe. After nearly thirty years, I didn’t expect to ever see you again. That’s why I started the garden. All those seeds in my closet, all that’s left of my family—they had to be planted or they’d die, just like us.
I showed the corn to you and your grown-up son, the boy with the rabbit eyes. You’re not so much of a girl anymore, except to me. You were but twelve when your father had his heart attack and they took you. Never mind that you had family right here. I made phone calls and filled out their paperwork. At night I walked the city hoping I might see you playing in a yard, so I could sleep, knowing you were alive and well. Finally, I had to wait for you to find me.
It was for you I started growing these plants, with the hope that they could help me. They have their own way of talking, you know. It’s not the same here as in a garden, where they share stories through their roots, through the soil, talking with their leaves and their tassels, sending love pollen on the wind. But it was something I could do. I could ask the plants for their help. I could ask the crow for her help. I could talk to the oak trees on the boulevard outside my apartment and ask them to watch for you. Year after year, we kept this vigil.
And then this morning, you walked through my door when I had almost given up. Almost. Almost
holds something back, even when it was hard to water my plants, to keep going, to believe that you would still be searching for me. You looked around as if you couldn’t quite believe your eyes. I didn’t have the energy to explain that it was the plants, and the trees, and the crow that brought you home.
You sat on my best chair with your hands in your lap, your fingers twisting like an overgrown root. Behind you, I could see a brown shoe bouncing, bouncing, like its owner was about to bolt. Rabbit boy, you’re safe here.
You walked in a stranger to me. Your eyes hid from mine. You could not bear to know the truth, not yet. I couldn’t breathe with you in the room. All of us starved for the same thing all these years. I offered to let you water the corn. You said no. I offered again, waving my hand at the plants. You held my watering can with fingers that trembled. A few drops of water, then you turned to me as if asking, Was that enough? Did I do it right? I couldn’t speak; I could only nod. Yes, yes, it was just right. It was all we could give to each other that first day. It was enough. You left with a promise to come back.
My great-aunt lived another year, and we found a way to talk to each other despite the few words that remained from the stroke she suffered barely six months after we were reunited. She wrote phrases on scraps of paper, struggled to shape her mouth around newly unfamiliar words, pointed at the photographs in dusty frames that sat on her television. Sometimes at night we shared the same dream. Over time, as I helped water her plants, we came to share the same memories. Learning my great-aunt’s unspoken language was no different from understanding the ways of plants, of animals, of the natural laws that bind us regardless of whether we abide by them.
You have to go back to the time before,
Darlene said. See what happened to the families, especially the children. Go back to the place where the stories were left behind with our ancestors’ bones. That’s where you’ll find our family.
This is our story.
CHAPTER ONE
Rosalie Iron Wing
2002
Long ago,
my father used to say, so long ago that no one really knows when this all came to be. But before you start asking questions,
he added, eyeing me through the smoke he blew from the corner of his mouth, I want you to listen.
"We know these stories to be true because Dakhóta families have passed them from one generation to the next, all the way back to a time when herds of giant bison and woolly mammoth roamed this land. Do you know what a glacier is? Wašté. As far as your eye can see, this land was called Mní Sota Makhóche, named for water so clear you could see the clouds’ reflection, like a mirror.
"When the last glacier melted, it formed an immense lake that carved out the valley around the Mní Sota Wakpá, what is known today as the Minnesota River. Hard to imagine, but this slow-moving river was once an immense flood of water that flowed all the way to the Mississippi River, where it formed a giant waterfall, the Owámniyomni, that could be heard from miles away. Your ancestors, Rosie, used to camp near that waterfall and trade with other families, even with the Anishinaabe.
"Now, downriver from the great waterfall, the Mississippi River came together with the Mní Sota Wakpá in a place we called Bdote, the center of the earth. The old ones said the Dakhóta first came to this sacred place from the stars. That’s why we’re called the Wičáŋȟpi Oyáte, the Star People, because we traveled here from the Milky Way. Even the wašíču scientists have agreed, finally, that this is a true story.
"Someday I’ll take you to hear one of the traditional storytellers who share the full creation story of the Dakhóta that is told when snow covers the ground. Today I’m telling you a little bit of history. When you go out into the world, you’ll hear a lot of other stories that aren’t true. You might feel bad about what ignorant people say, how they’ll try to make you feel ashamed of who you are. I’m telling you now the way it was.
"We’ve lived on this land for many, many generations. Some called us the great Sioux nation, but we are Dakhóta, our name for ourselves, which means ‘friendly.’ We are a civilized people who understand that our survival depends on knowing how to be a good relative, especially to Iná Maka, Mother Earth. Back in the day, we moved from place to place, knowing when to hunt bison and white-tailed deer, to gather wild plants, and to harvest our maize, a gift from the being who lived in Spirit Lake.
"You wouldn’t recognize this land back then. Over thousands of years, the plants and animals worked with wind and fire until the land was covered in a sea of grass that was home to many relatives. The bison gave us everything, from thadó, our meat, to our clothing and thípi hides. His dung fertilized the soil. The prairie dogs opened up tunnels that brought air and water deep into the earth. Grasses that were as tall as a man set long roots that could withstand drought. When my grandfather was a boy, he woke each morning to the song of the meadowlark. The prairie showed us for many generations how to live and work together as one family.
And then the settlers came with their plows and destroyed the prairie in a single lifetime,
my father said. What I remember most, now, is his voice shaking with rage, his tobacco-stained fingers trembling as they held a hand-rolled cigarette, the way he drew smoke deep into his lungs.
For the past twenty-two years, I have lived on a farm that once belonged to the prairie. Every summer I looked out my kitchen window at long rows of corn planted all the way to the oak trees that grow along the river. Even today, after a winter storm had covered the field, I could see dried cornstalks stubbling the fresh white blanket of snow. From the radio on the counter behind me, the announcer read the daily hog report in his flat midwestern voice. His words meant nothing; they were empty noise pushing back the silence that had taken over my house.
After a breakfast of toast and coffee, I closed the curtains on the window, feeling how thin the cotton had become from too many years in the sun. I stacked clean dishes in the cupboard and wiped down the counters. Routine tasks, comforting in their simplicity. No need to think, to plan, to remember. Just keep moving. I poured the rest of the milk down the drain and straightened a stack of papers on the table. After writing a brief note for my son, I locked the door behind me.
A fierce gust of wind tore at my scarf, stung my face with a handful of snow. I walked past the empty barn, half expecting to see our old hound come around the corner, eyelids drooping, swaybacked, his slow-moving trot showing the chickens who was boss. Gone now, all of them.
My heavy boots squeaked on the snow that had drifted back across the sidewalk I shoveled earlier that morning. When I called Roger Peterson to tell him he did not need to plow the driveway, he asked how long I would be gone. I hesitated. How to answer a question that would most likely get shared with my neighbors?
For a few days,
I said. I’ll call you when I’m back.
He paused, and I knew what was coming next. Before he could shape his condolences into a few awkward phrases, I said a quick goodbye and hung up without waiting for an answer.
I had left John’s truck running for about twenty minutes, long enough for the heater to blast a melted hole in the ice that covered the windshield. After tossing my duffel bag onto the seat next to me, I eased the truck into gear, babying the clutch. Near-bald rear tires spun slightly before finding gravel beneath the snow. As I drove past the orchard, I ignored the branches that were in need of pruning. While my father believed that any plant not grown in the wild was nothing more than a weak cousin to its truer self, my years of caring for these trees had taught me differently. But it was just as well that he hadn’t lived long enough to see me marry a white farmer, a descendent of the German immigrants that he ranted against for stealing Dakhóta land.
When I’d woken that morning, I knew I needed to leave, now, before I changed my mind. At the end of our long driveway, I decided against stopping for a last look at the fields behind me. Without slowing down, I turned the truck east as if heading to town, the rear end sliding sideways. I waved at Charlie Engbretson, the tightfisted farmer who’d bought George and Judith’s farm for a steal at auction. He stared after me as I passed by, hanging on to his mailbox as my truck whipped up a white cloud of snow around him. I never did care for neighbors knowing my business. Especially not him. Not today.
For the first few miles I drove fast, both hands gripping the wheel, as each rut in the gravel road sent a hard shock through my body. I drove as if pursued, as if hunted by all that I was leaving behind. When I glanced in the rearview mirror, the woman I saw was a stranger: forty years old, her dark hair streaked with a few strands of gray, her eyes wide like a frightened mouse’s, her mouth a thin, determined line, sharp as an arrow. Not terrible looking, Gaby would have said, except for the black-framed glasses, the same kind I wore as a girl, a safety pin holding today’s pair together. Beneath my puffy coat, I was wearing a flannel shirt, baggy jeans, and long underwear. An Indian farmer, the government’s dream come true.
Taking a deep breath, I eased my boot off the accelerator, allowing the truck to coast back under the speed limit. Doesn’t matter if you know the local cop when there’s a quota of tickets to be made by the end of the month. After waiting all these years, a few more minutes wouldn’t matter. I thought about slipping in one of John’s CDs, but everything in his glove compartment was country. Beer and God and flags and more beer. I preferred the quiet.
My father used to tell me that waníyetu, winter, was a season of rest, when plants and animals hibernate. I had trouble remembering what he looked like. Occasionally, a small memory was jarred loose, like the smell of wet leaves after rain, or the rough feel of a wool blanket. Today, it was the clatter of snowshoes on a wood floor, the way the wind turned white in a storm. Nothing more.
Every few miles, I passed another farmhouse. I knew most of their inhabitants by a family name—Lindquist, Johnson, Wagner—even though I might not have recognized them at the grocery store. I’d quickly grown tired of the way people stopped talking when we walked into the café—they’d all seemed to know me, the Indian girl John had married—and preferred to stay at the farm. I wondered what they’d think if they saw me now, speeding down the back roads in John’s truck. I could see gray heads nodding together in a mournful, told-you-so way.
Even with the heater on high, I had to use the hand scraper on the frost that crept back to cover the inside windows. I could barely see the road through the sun’s glare on the salt-spattered windshield. It was easy to miss a turn out here, lulled into daydreams by the mind-numbing pattern of field, farmhouse, barn, and windbreak of trees that repeated every few miles. Straight, flat roads ran alongside the railroad tracks until both disappeared at the horizon. Mile after mile of telephone wires were strung from former trees on one side of the road, set back far enough that snowmobilers had a free run through the ditches as they traveled from bar to bar, roaring past a billboard announcing that JESUS SAVES.
Both sides of the road were piled high with snowbanks that had been pushed aside by snowplows after each storm. In less than two months, these fields would be a sodden, muddy mess. Small ponds often formed in low areas, big enough for ducks and geese to stop on their long migration north. Plants would explode overnight from every field, a sea of green corn and soybeans that reached from one horizon to the next. Newly birthed calves and foals would stagger after their mothers on thin, wobbly legs. People smiled more in spring, relieved to have survived another winter.
I made a quick turn onto the unpaved road that follows the Minnesota River north. Once the thaw started in spring, rapidly melting snow would swell this placid river into a fast-moving, relentless force that carried along everything in its path, often flooding its banks. But today, that force was trapped beneath a layer of treacherous ice. From the tall cottonwoods that sheltered the river, a red-tailed hawk dropped in a long, slow glide. In years past, I had seen bald eagles and any number of geese and wood ducks and wild turkeys along the river, and I wondered if these birds still searched for vanished prairie plants during their migration. Maybe we all carry that instinct to return home, to the horizon line that formed us, to the place where we first knew the world. Maybe it was that instinct driving me now.
Less than an hour later, I passed through Milton, a small town near the Dakhóta reservation. Milton was the place to buy gas, have a beer, or pick up a loaf of bread at Victor’s gas station. Main Street was all of two blocks long, with a post office at one end, an Episcopal church at the other, and the Sportsman’s Bar in the middle. I passed Minnie’s Hair & Spa, a faded pink house with a metal chair out front, buried in snow. I didn’t see anyone outside in their yards or shoveling snow, or even another truck on the road. The town felt like a watchful place, where people kept an eye on everyone passing through. They stayed out of sight unless there was trouble. Or they had business up the hill at the Agency. The only places I’d ever seen a crowd there were the powwow grounds and the casino down the road.
On the east end of town, there was an old quarry where my father used to take me, driving past the giant mound of rubble near the road to an exposed face of gneiss granite. We always got out of the truck, no matter what kind of weather. He offered one of his cigarettes as he prayed. Sometimes he’d stop right in the middle of his prayer and say, Rosie, this is one of the oldest grandfathers in the whole country. Can you imagine that? Over three billion years old, and people just drive past without seeing it.
Then he’d go right back to praying.
I stopped at Victor’s to fill the truck’s double tanks, feeling the cold from the metal pump handle through my glove. I stamped my feet to stay warm. Temperatures often dropped after a snowstorm, while the wind kicked up and blew snow in straight lines that erased the roads. One time my father and I had stopped at this same gas station, the only place open, to wait for the plow to go through. Back then, the register was run by Victor, an old Ojibwe who had married into the community. He wore a leather vest over his T-shirt, saying his chief’s belly kept him warm. His beefy arms were covered in tattoos that moved as he handed a flask to my father. I sat on a stool behind the counter and drank orange Crush pop, swinging my short legs, wishing we could live in town. After the plow finally came by, my job was to watch the white lines on the road as my father drove us slowly home.
Before turning back on the river road, I thought about heading up the hill to the Dakhóta community center, where I’d heard Gaby was working. I couldn’t do it. I told myself I didn’t have the time. Truth was I didn’t know if she’d even want to see me.
A few miles farther, I passed a familiar sign for the Birch Coulee Battlefield. All summer long, under a blazing hot sun, local history buffs could follow trails through one of the big battle sites from the 1862 Dakhóta War. My father insisted that I see it, making sure we read every sign and studied the sight lines between the two sides. He said, It’s a damn shame that even in Minnesota most people don’t know much about this war between the Dakhóta and white settlers. Or about what happened after the war, when the Dakhóta were shipped to Crow Creek in South Dakota. He said forgetting was easy. It’s the remembering that wears you down.
The war changed everything. My father’s family, the Iron Wings, fought with the Dakhóta warriors and then fled north to Canada. They came home in the early 1900s to a community that was slow to heal, as families struggled with grief and loss. The Iron Wings tried farming but lost their harvest to grasshoppers and drought. Over time, the family was slowly picked off by tuberculosis, farm accidents, and World War II. Finally, my father, Ray Iron Wing, found himself the last Iron Wing standing, as he used to say.
As I left Milton, I headed northwest along the river. From there, I followed memory: a scattering of houses along deserted country roads, an unmarked turn, long miles of a gravel road. Open fields gave way to a hidden patch of woods that had not yet been cleared. Finally, a large boulder marked a gap between trees just wide enough for a truck to pass through.
The snow was over a foot deep and untouched; no one had traveled this way in months. Even with snow tires, the truck made slow progress, several times getting stuck in low ruts. I had to reverse carefully to avoid spinning the tires so fast they packed the snow into ice, then rock forward as quickly as I could, using the truck’s weight to find traction once more. Finally, when I reached a rut so deep that the tires spun in a high-pitched whine and refused to move, I turned off the engine. Climbed down into a ridge of snow that spilled over the top of my boots.
It all came back to me in a rush: the old pines burdened with snow; winter’s weak light filtered through bare trees. In a clearing at the edge of the woods, a metal roof and rough log walls. After twenty-eight years, I was home.
CHAPTER TWO
Rosalie Iron Wing
2002
In that first moment, it seemed as if nothing had changed. A coyote track crossed the small clearing and trailed off into the woods. From the high branches of an oak tree, a lone chickadee repeated its name, chick-a-dee-dee-dee. The snow had drifted almost to the windows on the north side of the cabin, covered the stairs to the front porch, pushed up against the screen door. The shuttered windows, the cold chimney spoke of long absence. I couldn’t move. My heart drummed fast and hard as the snow inside my boots began to melt. The wind dropped to a hushed silence as if the place held its breath, waiting to see who had returned.
I knew it was a foolish time of year to come. And yet here I was. Finally. A mere two hours of driving, less than a hundred miles north of the farm where I had married and raised a child, until John’s death the month prior woke something in me. I had begun to dream again. At night I returned to this land where my family had lived for generations, land protected from farmers and developers by its bony soil and steep slope toward the river.
My life had begun under a full moon in this cabin. I was the only child of Ray Iron Wing and Agnes Kills Deer, a mother I never knew. My father said I entered the world in a wide-eyed silence; my first breath was a deep sigh. And when I left, when I was taken away, I had believed I would never return.
I felt a sudden urge to move, to release the trembling in my legs. In the back of the truck, I found John’s shovel and slowly carved a rough path to the front door, breathing hard as I swung each scoop of heavy snow to the side. I was relieved to find the door unlocked. My father always said it was better to let hunters use the place than to have them break a window to get in. The door swung open with a loud creak from unused hinges. I stamped the snow from my boots and brushed it from my pants. When I stepped inside, the air felt even colder in the dim light, as if the freeze had burrowed into the wood. My breath floated in a cloud of white vapor. I was afraid to touch anything, afraid it would all simply turn to dust or become a dream from which I would wake.
I made a slow circle through the room, remembering the couch that sagged in the middle, one corner propped on a block of wood. I was surprised to see a wool blanket draped across the back of the couch, its once bright colors faded and dull. Intruders rarely left anything light enough to carry. Could someone have been watching over this place in my long absence? But who would do that? I no longer knew anyone around here.
Two trundle beds were pushed against the opposite wall. A wood rocking chair waited by the potbelly stove. A narrow table under the window, its paint chipped and faded, where I used to do homeschool lessons with my father, or read books in the dim, flickering light of a kerosene lamp, or harvest the inner bark from red willow branches with my small knife. The enamel percolator, blistered with rust, was in its usual place near the tin where my father kept his coffee. His blue summer cap hung from a hook by the door. As if time had not moved on or changed anything since I left. As if he might walk in through that door.
The sweat from shoveling had dried into a penetrating cold that crept into my bones. Suddenly I was tired enough to lie down on the couch and sleep. I could not risk it. All of my attention was needed for survival, to avoid freezing to death. Heavy, bruised clouds had begun to gather in the northwest, carrying the promise of more snow, reminding me how risky it was to stay in an empty cabin in the middle of winter, miles from the nearest neighbor. I knew that. I had also known that I had to come.
I made several trips to the truck for supplies, hauling bags of canned food, coffee, books. Water. A lantern and a dozen batteries. A new ax in case the woodshed was empty. Candles. A sleeping bag. John’s gun, which he’d kept in his bedside table until he grew ill and I moved it to another room. I did not want him tempted to ease his body’s pain at the expense of his spirit. I held it in my hand for a moment, feeling its awkward weight, wondering what I should do with it. Finally, I shoved it out of sight in a kitchen drawer.
How strange and oddly familiar to think that nobody knew where I was, just like when I’d lived in foster homes after my father’s heart attack. Except I would not spend my days waiting and watching the door for someone to find me. Coming home was like swimming upstream, searching for the beginning, for the clean, unmuddied waters of my childhood.
I opened and closed the flue of the potbelly stove to dislodge any abandoned nests. I had brought a bundle of kindling with me, as well as enough wood for the night. Stacking several logs on end, I added twigs and a twist of newspaper to get it started. Flames shot up immediately, bright ribbons of warmth that threw light into the corners of the room, pushing back the shadows as the wood snapped and popped, exhaling its dry breath. Before dark, I would need to check the condition of the outhouse.
Unpacking a Coleman stove and a little coffeepot reminded me of winter mornings when my father would make coffee before it was light. It was the smell that woke me then, followed by his voice telling me he was going out to check his traps. Go back to sleep, mičhúŋkši. I’ll be home to make you breakfast.
On the table in the kitchen I made neat stacks of supplies, ignoring the thick layer of dust that covered every surface. Surveying my piles, I realized I had brought a pan for cooking and a sharp knife but had forgotten to pack dishes or silverware. Most of the kitchen cupboards were empty except for a dead mouse and a scattering of shriveled insects. I found two plates, a handful of tarnished silverware, and a cracked white mug that still bore