I found this audiobook to be an easily digestible book, read well by the author. Initially uploading small videos during Covid, thi3.5⭐ rounded down.
I found this audiobook to be an easily digestible book, read well by the author. Initially uploading small videos during Covid, this psychologists presents ideas to the reader that are easily taken in. She explains her ideas are just that, ways to look at life in dealing with stressful situations, to make things easier at the time using simple explanations and scenarios that have worked for her clients, and for herself. I found one area I particularly related to, about becoming complacent with exercise, and depression, and the cycle that persists if one does not get out there and feel fresh air and even just to walk, small steps at first, building to attainable goals. I wanted to capture a great quote about depression and moving your body, but as I was driving I didn't do this. This book is not rocket science, it uses plain language and easily understood ideas, and using one's tool kit to better attack life. It was not preachy nor hard to understand. This possibly may be better as a physical book, to approach the exercises for reflection and planning.
I listened to this audiobook via the Libby app and my public library. ...more
Parents today are extremely lucky with excellent and varied resources. The availability when I was raising my three under three were simply not there,Parents today are extremely lucky with excellent and varied resources. The availability when I was raising my three under three were simply not there, I’d have been very receptive to listen to books such as this, in the background of my busy life. The author thanks many people in his acknowledgements, including Dr Bruce Perry, whose book co-authored with Oprah Winfrey I have recently completed, and loved. This made me wonder how many children would be lucky to cross paths in clinics of these doctors.
The author knows what it’s like for families to struggle given his own upbringing, and those family units that he encounters he can relate to well given his own family history. He even lied about where he grew up in his first year of uni, to fit in with the more privileged students. His hard-working mum, who at times worked three jobs, was not happy about that at all.
Able to apply his own experience with mental health to not only understand his patients, but equally importantly, their parents doing their best to help their kids, often in perilous circumstances themselves. Parents need good mental health to best support their kids, which is addressed, not glossed over in this book.
What is comforting to know is the author is telling his story from what he has gleaned from helping his young clients, how they have improved, even flourished from their time spent together. He listens intently, this is obvious, a keen observer to assess individual needs combined with what the family unit is showing him in the clinic.
One of the opening comments was my favourite. The author is being interviewed for a fellowship to help parents best support guiding their children’s mental health development. One of the interviewers abruptly proposed that he disagreed with Dr Garvey’s belief that the way we raise our children impacts their mental health.
It was a ‘please explain’ moment. This is the part I love. The author’s summary statement after this goes on to say this book is an extended version of my answer of that question.
I’m glad this obnoxious sounding panelist posed the question, as many will learn from this book. Highly recommended to parents, prospective parents, educators, students, and anyone working in the social sciences.
I listened to this via the Libby app and my public library, which goes nicely as I do advocate for nonfiction books narrated by the author....more
Books seem to land in my lap that are close to my heart, and close to my experience. James & Elle tells the story of a tightly bound family in geograpBooks seem to land in my lap that are close to my heart, and close to my experience. James & Elle tells the story of a tightly bound family in geographic locations I’m familiar with, which was lovely.
We are reading heavy themes here, and the truth in the way in which they take hold are quite common is sad, confronting and overwhelming. Especially when it is your family that is suffering. The author is upfront, real though still gracious in the telling.
This work is autofiction, which has not been part of my repertoire, it is a blend of true story and nonfiction. Being the devote of nonfiction that I am, my curiosity knows that the truth in this story is real, complex, layered and very painful.
PTSD, trauma, and addiction are well informed and close companions, I appreciate Casey Rae’s ability to tell this story with candour and strength. There is much sadness here, but the lightness is that this is juxtaposed with a hope and love that I hold true to be possible as I absorbed the final words.
Family struggle, events that happen when we are small and vulnerable, and life’s circumstance as these issues go untreated are heartbreaking and given this is not a standard memoir, I held my breath in some scenes, truly wanting portions to not be true. One health care professional bitterly disappointed me.
James military service, his accident combined with incidents in childhood are a serious mix, his sister Elle was always there for him, waiting for the time to surrender to addiction. I think deep down she knew he could only stop when he was ready, she could not carry the alcoholic. In other deeply serious areas of her experience Elle refused to espouse vindictiveness or spite, I loved her for this.
A small book in physicality only, James & Elle’s story made me reflect on my own while also giving me joy in their positive sibling relationship and hope for better things for us all.
Thank you, Casey Rae, for sending me a physical copy to review, it’s affirming when an author can see where a reader’s interests lie. This is a beautifully written book. I have not read one quite like it....more
It is very affirming to see so many Australian women writers continuing to produce great work, especially as a debut. It is exciting to witness the brIt is very affirming to see so many Australian women writers continuing to produce great work, especially as a debut. It is exciting to witness the bright young women who embrace the opportunity to tell their stories with complete openness. I inhale memoirs, I love human stories therefore this was a great match for me.
This is Grace’s story. Embarking on an emotional and sudden choice to leave a life behind, destination unplanned. A random choice, a tumultuous farewell. Initially the author’s OCD and oppressive intrusive violent thoughts are discussed, which have taken over a young woman’s life in an extreme way. Added to this is a physical ailment equally as oppressive.
Always searching for answers both emotionally and physically, her journey morphs into a spiritual odyssey. Grace is a woman who needs answers, and her story in seeking professional and spiritual help is testament to a special tenacity.
Written with an unabashed honesty, the author is unafraid to talk about the hard stuff, topics unspoken, themes mostly unspoken of.
When I see similarities to true stories, I am prone to introspection, and this was my experience with The Shift. Dana has eschewed the secrecy in hard topics, those which are not spoken aloud, eroticism, sexual exploration. I found the link between OCD and gratification in new relationships compelling, Grace’s story is very much a discovery process. This was a journey I enjoyed taking.
The Shift is not a light telling it is full of deep reflection, but conversely overflowing with wild abandon. Dana’s writing is conversational and accessible, I enjoy this style, which teased apart the heavy themes – I enjoyed the contrast. She moseyed around, with shades of a child playing freely, while diving deeply into what it is she really wants in life. To be brave and to not necessarily follow the way of societal expectation. And she is funny, without trying to be.
..exploring their nooks and crannies. Anna and I had a brain fart of an idea.. When the opposition scored it wounded him, as though his balls were in a blender. These were the moments I sensed the author’s true self, the kind empathetic soul: He shook my hand, because that was the kind of man he was, and within minutes, I knew he worked in finance, was somewhat nerdy, and loved to travel. I wanted to throw my arms around him and squeeze.
The Shift is genuine and unique, I held onto this with particular interest after meeting the author at a book launch and I was not disappointed. Because we do not all follow the path most taken.
Thank you Dana, for my eCopy to read and review, in the end I was able to hold the physical book in my hand after having it added to my work library!...more
My children are older now, with one left in primary school. Reading Tehla’s personal and reflective ideas on motherhood bought back many memories of tMy children are older now, with one left in primary school. Reading Tehla’s personal and reflective ideas on motherhood bought back many memories of the early years when there really was not much else other than feeding, tidying, bathing, feeding some more and managing routines. This was not always soul building. It was, at times, the opposite. I would never have dreamed at that time I could have made a difference using a relative stranger’s guidance, and a book like this.
I had three children under the age of three, my life was quite chaotic. I am grateful to learn new things at this stage of my life, it is all an evolving journey, right?
I did worry too much about the tidiness, the routines, the washing. The folding. But the kids were ok. I think in books like these, when written with so much honesty and candour, women (and by default all of those around them) will be able to glean many life lessons. Because rearing children is not only about motherhood, it is also about rearing a family unit, with the goal of happy parents and a centred and well mother.
Tehla tells us of her journey from singledom sleep filled nights, to gaining her MBA, through to marriage and beyond, while almost losing herself in the process. Not only did her children both suffer serious health issues while very young, but she did also. If she didn’t quickly sort out how to better her immediate situation, the innate relationship she had with herself, her inner being, those around her would continue to suffer.
Marriage is always going to be hard work, and this unit will suffer if the consistency of lack of sleep and poor health perpetuates in an almost relentless 24-hour cycle. The author navigates her personal journey with this, a serious career and sea change, while not possible to all of us she provides those smaller easier to achieve goals that if broken into manageable portions, have the capacity to buoy the mother up, thus enabling the rest of the family unit to float a little more gently, with the ripple effects flowing down the stream for all of the family to benefit from.
This is a thought provoking book that looks at alternative strategies, new ideas and therapies to be tried (or not), this book has been crafted as a guide to enable the tired mother to dip in and out of as needed. It made me stop and think many times, even holistically bringing forth some signs for me personally.
Written in an easy to read format, with prompts and ideas concluding each chapter as a summary, this book fills a little gap I believe exists today in the flashy ‘in your face’ type of self help market. Providing us with a softly spoken helping hand that provides little pieces of wisdom throughout.
I was so excited to win a copy of Permission to Pause through a competition, I also received two beautiful surprise crystals, such a thoughtful gift. A lovely package from one mother to another, with more than one message. Thank you, Tehla, your unassuming voices shines through the pages. Sometimes in the busyness of motherhood we need a calming presence.
The author has almost 20 years of lived experience with family violence. This could be known as domestic violence, or as Deborah Thomson likes to callThe author has almost 20 years of lived experience with family violence. This could be known as domestic violence, or as Deborah Thomson likes to call it, domestic terrorism. This would have been a horrific experience for not only herself, but her children as well when I reflect on what that would actually mean to a woman.
The author eloquently tells her story, and that of her children, of their suffering at the hands of her husband, the only man she had an intimate relationship with. This coercive control started from the beginning and formed the basis of what she thought was normal. Pushed aside as a man having the right to take it out his anger on a wife if the wife doesn't keep house appropriately, or whom simply is not a good enough one to start with. Imagine hearing this from a mother in law?
In very simple terms the author's wish is to educate young people (and everyone else) on what to look out for in their relationships, so the recurrence of this insidious treatment begins to decline.
Rates are rising, services are over capacity, and women (in the majority) have their autonomy removed in trying to leave dangerous situations. There is nowhere to go. Women’s Legal Services Tasmania states there is a need to ‘triage’ services.. many women are turned away as others are in a more drastic situation, they do not have the capacity to help. The numbers given assistance versus those needing is astounding and Funding to support services is woeful and inadequate.
Coercive control serves a purpose for perpetrators. It is a vital part of the abusive relationship in that it makes a victim pliable and open to suggestion and creates a mental state of mind that suits the abuser's purposes but is extremely deleterious to a victim's sense of self and sense of reality. Recognising it in your relationship should it exist, will help to dispel its power over you.
Deborah has become a voice for the issue, attending schools and rallies, and has given speech to parliament. She tells high school students what healthy relationships look like, and conversely about what control may look like, and how to spot it in friends’ relationships. Does ‘caring’ from a partner look too much, is it in fact control?
It is important to understand coercion is abuse, it does not involve its counterpart which is compromise and collaboration. The author speaks of grass roots ideas. Healthier male to male role modelling to foster more functional relationships in achieving better outcomes; educating adolescents before life patterns are established.
Told in a very plain English style and presented in small essay form in which the author does state there is some repetition given this layout, the book achieves a very real goal in laying the foundation to the very alarming awareness that Tasmania needs lots of help and reform in support services and authorities being better equipped for a real and life threatening situation. The author very nearly did lose her life and this book is testament to this.
Her children, all psychologically affected have admirably included personal letters to their mother showing ways their lives have changed due to their upbringing.
Rating a book like this does not always feel suitable, in this instance I feel the book is honest, important and factual, so I will happily rate 5 stars, and hope I can donate this as a resource to my library. The book plays an excellent part in showing observers/family/coworkers/friends on how to best help, what to be aware of, and very importantly, what not to say. Particularly questioning why they have not left already, and insinuating the problem really must not be that bad.
Thank you to Green Hill Publishing and the author for providing me a physical copy of her book to read and review, and for your tireless and important work....more
Dr Guha is a breath of fresh air when we need it the most. I found myself explaining to my son how people are a little lost in the world, especially iDr Guha is a breath of fresh air when we need it the most. I found myself explaining to my son how people are a little lost in the world, especially if their family haven’t shown love from generation to generation, or some might mimic their parents at times bad behaviour, or sometimes there may be trauma. I tried not to delve too deeply as he is only 12, but wanted to use my experience with the book when helping him tell his soccer coach about his teammate who is autistic, the vulnerable one being bullied by the physical boy who swears at all the boys. I had to decide to quickly mention this to the coach and step back while my son explained the verbal and physical abuse. He wasn't afraid to and I was proud of him. I digress.
My heavy NF reads always can help me in some way or another, this one sure did. Ahona Guha is a wise source of information, I feel safe in her hands, conveying her ideals easily for every type of reader.
The author presents easy to understand information in explaining emotions v. reality, all the different ways in which we humans catastrophise, fortune tell, glorify, the things that help, and the things that don’t. She talks about many things of interest to me, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Radical Acceptance, self soothing, and managing emotions. These are all larger issues in themselves, but here we have a glimpse and summary for interested readers to look into further if their interest is piqued.
We need parts of our lives to be full to feel joy, hobbies, interests, a desire to want to do things. She talks about depression, anxiety and all the common pitfalls the world is experiencing in relation to materialistic desires (how is all your stuff going to help) the desire to look shiny and amazing on your Instagram feed. She talks about issues that are glorified and thrown around in the media, pop culture and social media and helps demystify what is important. Ideas are talked about, I feel if a reader is feeling down when reading this book they will be able to hold on to something she chats about, and this of course is a great thing.
We can easily see her principles bought to life as she tells us what she chooses to do in her own situation. Ensuring work calls are kept in boundaries of work hours unless prearranged, set breaks through out the year, and the choice to rescue a dog rather than choose a glam puppy from an industry that pump them out for money and nothing else. She loves her dog and tells us while her choices are not going to make a massive difference, her choice to life her life this way help her and make for a whole life. Being ok with her body, imploring others to be the same. I loved the thoughts around a woman’s body designed to move, stretch, expand, birth. What is really important, she wonders, and I had to smile when she reflects on seeing typos in her book in years to come.
The author's career in forensic psychology provides an experienced framework from which all this information is well balanced, as she is so experienced with the polar extremes in society; she is not afraid to voice her opinions which may be different to many.
I may have absorbed my reading of this book in a more focused way had I read this a week later after a horrific and violent public event in Australia, but other readers will be able to access this as valuable resource at an excellent time. This book is available in audio format through Australian libraries, and I urge curious readers, or anyone needing a little help to read this. Dr Guha is personable and speaks from the heart. I think she’s a remarkably smart woman with many excellent things to say. This book is perfect to have on your shelf to refer back to long after reading to help in harder times.
Thank you to Marina and @scribepub for my copy to read and review. This book and Reclaim take pride of place on my shelf....more
I am older than the author, and her protagonists. I fit into the zone of Adella’s mother’s age group, who also has a part of this narrative. Which in I am older than the author, and her protagonists. I fit into the zone of Adella’s mother’s age group, who also has a part of this narrative. Which in itself is thought provoking because my children are in this perilous cohort. Adella, bright and clever, is another product of genetically predisposed to mental ill health. When I say another product, I refer to the constant books I have been reading on this topic. I don’t seem to seek these out, it just keeps happening as I listen to so many audiobooks, and this is a robust topic of conversation these days. Spoken about and not hidden like it was in my earlier days, and the generation before that, and that.
The author works for a popular Mamamia, she is on the pulse of everything social media, young and topical. She is a podcaster and author and states freely that her family has struggled with ‘happiness’ for a long time. Essentially this book is about the younger generations in families, and their state of mind, their mental health and their experience with lust, loss, love, rejection, and self-perception. Their make up is formed by their parents which will influence their offspring. If you are a parent of adolescents, young people, or new adults, this will give you a lot to think about. It will also make you freak out a little if you have not had to face these types of issues.
What the author writes about is real. This narrative gets inside the head of young people, both female and male, and shows to us the pressure they place on themselves to thrive in a world that often is inauthentic, while these bright young people are trying to be the opposite.
A scary part of the story which gave me pause was Adelle’s flatmate, casually commenting after a suicide that she ‘was surprised this was your first.’
A beautifully written contemplative story on the state of kids today, what they have to deal with and the legacy of the health of their forebears. I liked hearing about the different parts of Sydney, and that my workplace received a mention, which really suited.
Adelle’s therapy at one stage discussed the trait of perfectionists not actually keeping everything perfect, but regularly not finishing tasks and incompletion, which was the essence of her. Her friend Jake would say the only time he wanted to do exercise was when he just finished exercise. So relatable.
Adella would talk with her Pa, a kindred spirit. This book had so much worth thinking about, in a non-confrontational way. It was not cheery, but it was current and important....more
Laden...
