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The Terminal (2004)
Sappy, silly, unrealistic
I was cringing at some of the over the top sappiness of this movie let alone the utter lack of reality. Aside from all the stupidity about not letting him in because he has no country, this has happened to millions, the idea that they would let him live in the terminal goes beyond any normality. The unintentionally funny part is him learning to speak English in 2 days. For some reason the port authority has an issue with finding a Russian translator even though they probably have dozens of Russian speakers working in the airport or they could have just waited for another flight from Russia, or called the Russian consulate. I found it hard to get past all this.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Far better but too much music, a bit muddled, could have lost 20 mins
This is a far more interesting film that the original release, most of the humor is gone, but scenes go on way too long, this could have been cut by 20 mins. The annoying use of songs is overbearing in some sequences. One scene that could have been fun is The Flash saving the girl, but instead we get this super slow motion thing with flying hotdogs and we never see the girl again. BTW she would never be driving a mint 1964 Olds convertible worth $50k. And the actor who plays Barry Allen makes him the most annoying superhero ever. Showing Superman in some future vision before he awakens is a mistake. The appearance of Martian Manhunter will confuse everyone. Breaking the movie into parts with title cards is pointless. The black uniform makes no sense.
The Untouchables (1987)
More of a comedy, terrible accents, mostly total fiction
90% of this movie never happened in real life. No shootout with Mounties, no shootout in a train station, no throwing a guy off a roof. Most of the characters are fictional also including everyone of the so-called untouchables. Elliot was a philanderer and alcoholic, not some boy scout who told people not to drink. The direction by De Palma is sloppy and all over the place and far too stylized for the subject matter, the music is too new sounding for the era. Connery's character is fictional so I'm not sure why they just didn't make him Scottish instead of having him do a terrible Chicago Irish accent that he can't keep going for even a sentence, he actually won an Oscar for this. Ness was never involved with Capone's tax evasion investigation and was certainly not throwing guys off rooftops at his trial.
Run Hide Fight (2020)
Hilariously bad unrealistic garbage
The idea that you could take over a school anywhere in the US in this day and age and not have a single cop show up for 22 mins is ridiculous, and this is after all the kids are allowed to call their parents. There must be 30 shots fired in the school and not a single person hears it in any of the classrooms. Then no one believes it's real because it's senior prank day. Nobody seems to know who the most beautiful girl in school is, they all treat her like a stranger. Most of the acting is below par, the story drags along and there is no suspense at all, we all know how it's going to end. We never learn the reason for the attack or his supposed plan.
News of the World (2020)
Tepid western doesn't deliver anything
I was truly disappointed by this one, it's shot well, acted well but is sorely lacking in any real plot or drama. The main issue is that there is no real challenge that they haven't created themselves and when there is an action scene they are killed off quickly. Hanks is fine but kind of playing himself instead of an interesting character with a past.
Shadow in the Cloud (2020)
Silly from beginning to end, could have been an interesting story sans gremlins
This could have been an interesting story without the stupid gremlins, a love story about a stowaway fleeing with her baby and caught up in the war. Instead we have another fantasy garbage pile of impossible physics and unbelievable storyline.
She is correct with her rank in the RAF ATA, but they never flew in combat, were not trained on machine gun turrets and did not fly in the Pacific or travel through enemy skies, but it was still very dangerous. They had many functions but most of the female pilots delivered fighters and bombers to the front line to save the men for combat. In all, 27 American women served with the RAF ATA.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
What a mess. Has no idea where it's going.
You can't fight a person with the power of wishes, it's impossible. I could end my review right there. All he had to do was get someone to wish Wonder Woman was dead. Being set in 1984 is meaningless to the plot. Gal Godot is not a good actress, at least not in this, she's wooden. Most of the storyline is confused and there are so many pointless scenes. The grand opening is a waste of time. Kristen Wiig says you only get one wish, and then is given a 2nd wish. It's never explained why Maxwell Lord wants everyone in the world to make wishes. It makes no sense that he can hear people's wishes or that computer screens in 1984 are transmitting a TV signal, they didn't even have the internet then. How does Diana get her powers back when she rescinds her wish of having Steve then lose them again after fighting Barbara? How does everyone know to renounce their wishes? Diana's gold suit is silly and pointless. Humans can't fly.
Honest Thief (2020)
Terrible title, formulaic predictable plot
We've seen this same movie about six times not from Liam, and this one is one of the weakest. Good acting, fine pace but just not enough of a story to get excited about. Might have been better if there were more about his bank robberies and maybe a connection to the good FBI agent from the beginning instead of just a cold phone call turning himself in. Not horrible , just average.
Species (1995)
Terrible in so many ways
I recently saw this again after many years and I had forgotten how bad it is. There is never any real explanation as to why the aliens want to kill humans, the dialog is just juvenile, the acting sporadic and the story goes nowhere. A group of people chosen to hunt this girl have no military skills other than a hitman yet they all start using guns and hunting the alien, the empath is the only useful one and the other two spend more time trying to get laid than anything else. The amount of times the lead girl gets naked becomes just blatant, the ending is just plain stupid. How did the rat turn into an alien rat in 2 mins? The special effects only work here and there, the CGI alien at the end looks completely fake. Ben Kingsley is just wasted and is given the dumbest lines, and Michael Madsen is so bad he becomes a joke, at no time do I believe he's the leader or if his character even cares.
The Shining (1997)
Dreadfully dull
I'm not going to do a long review or comparison to Kubrick's movie since they are two polar opposites of skill but the problem with the TV version is that it's not scary at all. I love King's book and have read most of them but even I can't see what he see's in this adaptation. The directing is amateurish, Danny is an annoying child actor who can't act and after having seen the Kubrick's version the adult actors are a serious downgrade in skill. Even the hotel itself isn't freighting, it doesn't feel isolated and it's too small feeling inside for it's exterior. Not a single scare in the entire thing and Jack using a croquet mallet is just weak.
Ava (2020)
Routine and predictable.
Same old cookie cutter script that wastes good actors. All three leads are solid for what they are offered, it just has nowhere to go. The sister, mother, ex boyfriend plot is dull and completely removed from the plot. Her ex boyfriend is a dumb sounding unattractive guy that does not fit in the story, and his gambling problem subplot is a distraction. Her supposed sad back story seems pretty routine considering what she does for a living.
Another movie where we are supposed to believe a 130 lb woman can beat up men much larger than her who have equal fighting skills.
An American Pickle (2020)
Sort of funny but a mess nonetheless.
Seth Rogen does a good job playing two characters, even to the point of you forgetting it's the same guy, but the real issue is it's utter lack of reality. Aside form the silly idea of a human being being pickled and living for 100 years to emerge totally healthy, the legalities make no sense. He would never be fined $12k for having a pickle cart, he would not be an illegal alien since he came to the US legally and would literally be the longest living person in the US. Going to Canada would just make him an illegal alien in Canada. A prosecutor can't call for a defense's case to be dropped since the defense has no case bought. There would be a ton of ways to prove who you are in court, from DNA to just knowing your bank passwords, and in his case answering any questions about history a 140 year old pickled guy would not know. Any strip mall lawyer would have gotten him off.
And how does an illiterate Russian speaking peasant speak perfect English, let alone understanding modern slang which Ben uses constantly? And people in 1919 did not eat garbage pickles in filthy jars with bird poop in it.
An OK attempt with some funny lines but overall pretty dull.
Joker (2019)
A rip off of everything, even other DC movies.
You've seen a lot of comparisons to taxi Driver, King of Comedy etc and rightfully so, it's pretty much the same script mashed up with some previous DC movies and Death Wish thrown in. Todd Phillips even throws in the finger gun to the head from Taxi Driver and the fake TV set from KOC, heck let's just get DeNiro too!. If you tell us it's an homage then just repeat everything it's just a completely unoriginal movie in every way. This is not the Joker, it's a made up origin story that makes the Joker a pretty dull character with both mommy and daddy issues.
Answer me this, why is the Joker a 44 year old guy and young Bruce Wayne only 9? So when they fight as adults Bruce is 35 and the Joker is a 70 year old man?
Having Bruce Wayne's parents be killed by a clown is just stupid.
Please don't make a sequel.
Ad Astra (2019)
Apocalypse Later
After a bit of the movie passes and the story unfolded I suddenly realized what I was watching. It's 'Heart of Darkness' in space. It's pretty much the same plot except it's his father who is Kurtz. The film itself is a bit clunky, there is some bad science and physics issues as well as a confusing space travel time shortening, they make a big deal out of the father traveling so far into space yet the son seems to get to him in no time and comes back even quicker with just a small beard to show the passing of what seems like a few weeks. The absurd idea that they are so concerned about and constantly monitor his physical and psychological state but have no issue sending 84 year old Donald Sutherland to space seems odd. This is a an interesting film, well shot but it's no masterpiece and in fact it's a bit dull.
Blinded by the Light (2019)
Pointless and silly, I cant believe Bruce let them use his music
Another in a line of recent silly musicals if you can call them that. A coming of age movie with no real emotion is somehow intertwined with the music of Bruce Springsteen in such an over the top invasive way it's pretty much unwatchable at points. People dance and sing to music they can't hear, spout lyrics and confuse everyone including the audience.The seriousness and power of BS music is lost on bad 80's narrative that is cartoonish and predicable.
The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot (2018)
Massively stupid. We all know how Hitler died
I was ready to buy into this based on the dumb title alone but within minutes I realized it was a mess. First and foremost Hitler shot himself in a bunker in Berlin, so the entire premise of this guy killing him is moronic. The scene with the Russian shaving him for some unknown reason may be the worst screenwriting I have ever witnessed. The scenes drag on endlessly and the story is boring as hell. I can't imagine how they sold this to a studio. You can see this first time director is trying his best to be Quentin Tarantino with his drawn out dialog but he fails miserably. The kitchen table scene goes on for 10 mins. The fighting with Bigfoot was pure comedy gold, I bet that wasn't his intention. Avoid this silly mess.
Aquaman (2018)
Nice movie...But Aquaman is white
I am so sick of comic book characters changing color. It has nothing to do with racism, I am an originalist. In almost every movie now we have a main or minor character turn from white to Asian, black, Hispanic and now Aquaman is Hawaiian.
Don't get me wrong, Jason Momoa is great for the role, and his exotic looks make the character more interesting. But he isn't Aquaman.
The original 1940's Aquaman was a regular man who could breathe underwater and control fish and other underwater life for up to a minute, and he was white.
The Silver Age Aquaman was Arthur Curry, the son of Tom Curry, a lighthouse keeper, and Atlanna, a water-breathing outcast from the lost, underwater city of Atlantis, and again he was a blonde haired white man.
I just can't imagine the fallout of turning a long time black character into a white person, it would never happen.
Here is a partial list of characters who have changed colors....only from white.
Nick Fury
Human Torch
Perry White
Harvey Dent
Deadshot
Heimdall
Alicia Masters
Catwoman
Kingpin
Hogun
Electro
Baron Mordo
Callisto
Jasper Sitwell.
Domino
Mary Jane Watson
Valkyrie
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
A timeline disaster, how could Queen screw up their own history?
The movie itself is just OK, not spectacular in any way. The lead playing Freddie is too short, too toothy and acting too hard. But what bothers me the most is the history and facts.
They have John Deacon as member of Smile.
They have them performing Fat Bottom Girls 3 years before it was written.
They have a Brazil concert on TV in 1977 that didn't happen until 1985.
The band is shown recording We Will Rock You in a scene set in 1980 when the song came out in 1977.
Did the members of Queen even screen this?
Halloween (2018)
Does anyone even care that a serial killer is on the loose?
In what is ultimately just another Halloween movie with a ton of teen slashings I find one thing rather confusing. Myers is a famous killer, and in Haddonfield, Illinois he would be a monstrous legend who is imprisoned what seems like just miles away. Yet when he is being transferred to another prison he is on a bus with other insane inmates with a doctor, one guard and a bus driver, no police escort, no state Troopers. After he escapes we see more of the same, he kills 7 people including a kid but no major alert to stay indoors, no federal response, the sheriff seems involved but it's mostly just a lone small town officer with a pistol chasing leads with again, no backup. And Laurie Strode's daughter seems unfazed that Myers has escaped just miles away and is on a murder spree, just like her mother said he would be.
In real life we have seen these kind of escapes and they are plastered all over the news, but I have never seen one as flashy as a teen murdering psychopath returning to his hometown on another rampage. In reality the schools would have been shut down, Halloween cancelled, no teen parties would be taking place, plus there would be a massive FBI and state police, SWAT presence.
Then Myers kills 4 more people (for a total of 11 so far) that the police discover yet somehow there is no curfew, lock down or any concerned parents making their teens stay home. Only after the 12th killing does the officer tell people to lock their doors.
Dumbest line in the movie:
Doctor: "remember, he's property of the state, he mustn't by harmed"
Escaped prisoners are killed all the time.
Also, how would Myers, after 40 years of not talking in an insane asylum know anything about Laurie Strode's family? How would he know she had a daughter and granddaughter? How would he know where anyone lived? He would not understand the internet or cell phones and wouldn't even have a pay phone or phone book. Not that Laurie would be listed.
Little Italy (2018)
Cartoon acting, stale story, really really bad
Could this movie be more silly? The characters are the most stereotypical ethnicities possible, everyone's accent keeps changing, the story, if you can call is that, is complete formula, been done 1000x before. I was ready to turn it off in the first 2 mins after seeing the sound stage scenery and the attempt to make the 1990's look like 1940's Little Italy. Why this is set in Canada I have no idea.
The 15:17 to Paris (2018)
Embarrassing.....Eastwood should retire
As expected, if you know the real life heroes are playing themselves there is no way to watch this objectively. But even if you didn't know, anyone who has ever seen a movie will realize these guys can't act. The trailer is very misleading, but it would have to be to get anyone to see this.
The story is dull has hell, a very average backstory about their lives takes up half the film, and the rest is just a very boring build up to the event on the train which only lasts about 6 mins. What surprised me the most was the feel of the film, almost like a B movie or one of those Christian films with the same robotic acting and flat scenes. I could not stop paying attention to the acting of these three men, I give them kudos for trying, it's not their fault, but Eastwood should have known better.
Pitch Perfect 3 (2017)
Utter nonsense..avoid this disaster
The first PP movie was cute, the 2nd one was bad and this was just a piece of garbage. The script is stupid, the plot a mess, the acting cringe worthy.
DJ Khaled's name must be mentioned 50 times, like every 2 mins, the whole idea that he would make a singer give up her last chance to sing with her group is inane, he couldn't make her a star next week? The entire back plot with Amy's dad is a distraction, her turning out to be a fat ninja even more silly. Then at the end the girls are all saying they will move on to mundane careers while Fat Amy announces she's worth $180 million, but there is no offer to make them all millionaires and still have a ton left over.
These types of movies are a fun distraction sometimes, but the quality of this is more like straight to DVD. There are so many instances where the girls singing is impossible to sound the way it does, especially when Becca brings the whole group up on stage at the end with only one microphone yet it sounds like they are all mic'd.
A Futile and Stupid Gesture (2018)
An unfunny movie about comedy. Mostly fake history.
Why is 74 year old Martin Mull narrating as Doug Kenney who died at 33?
Kenny never had a wife. The woman in the movie is a made up fictional character. I have no idea why they did this and it makes a movie about people I am familiar with hard to watch.
Doug Kenney never smoked a joint on Tom Snyder's show.
They jump from all over with covers and stories out of timeline, at one point they show the photo shoot of the July 1973 cover of the dog and gun, but then later have Kenney on Tom Snyder's show in 1972 (they even say it at the bottom of the frame), then they jump back to 1973.
...
Oh and then 34 minutes into the movie, they decide to make all the falsehoods seem intended and a joke by rolling a screen of flubs like credits, admitting just about everything about the film is wrong....THIS IS CALLED A COP OUT.
You know what would have been funny? An actual movie about the founding of National Lampoon and the later films.
At no time did I believe I was watching people in the 1970's.
Baby Driver (2017)
Tedious, slow and ultimately moronic
This starts out like a 20 min music video with this kid singing and dancing through the streets, turns into a bank robber movie, then a dull love story, then into a free for all.
The amount of "instant police" in this is ridiculous, no matter where they run there is another cop. The supposed "brains" of the outfit hires total screw ups and maniacs to pull off the simplest robberies. At one point they go to get a ton of guns to rob a post office?? The whole premise is that the kid somehow owes Spacey money but when he pays up he is not allowed to get out. The ending is over the top stupid. The use of constant music is fun at first but becomes tedious.
White Lightning (1973)
Immensely boring
After a promising start and a car chase almost nothing happens through a huge portion of the movie, they drive around, Burt talks to people for what seems like meaningless conversations, he uses his real name, everyone seems to know he's working for the feds, he openly writes notes in a small book, there is this real annoying woman he is screwing behind his buddy's back, etc, etc. Some pretty bad acting, amateur actors, bad fighting, bad lighting, bad direction and a horrible script. Another dull car chase and then the end.
One of Burt's worse movies. Not a lot of effort was put into this.