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Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
High budget pile of hot garbage
If your expectation from a good movie is just a bunch of visual effects and action, you will love this movie but if you are actually looking for a movie to tell you a story, this movie is beyond terrible. It's so terrible I feel generous giving it a 1/10.
The movie doesn't have a coherent story. It's just 2.5 hours of one ambush after another, one action scene after another, things blowing up one after another, but watchers have zero idea what's going on.
There are 3-4 different groups of weird looking creatures living in the desert and they are constantly ambushing each other. Who is ambushing who for what? We have no idea. Why are they constantly fighting? Not explained. What are they after? What's their main motivation? Not a single person in the world knows. All we know is these people are constantly battling, ambushing each others, blowing each other up and main characters and changing sides like 4-5 times throughout the movie. For example Chris Hemsworth's character changed sides like 4 times in the movie.
The movie has no character development, almost no dialogue, no storyline, nothing except for visual effects. Looks like they spent all their money on visual effects and had no money left for anything else.
Rise of Empires: Ottoman (2020)
The show is not biased but you are
It's funny how half the comments claim that this show is doing a Turkish propaganda and showing Turks as angels and heroes while the other half of the comments claim that the show is anti-Turkish propaganda that makes Turks look evil and bloodthirsty. If half the people say the show is biased on one side and other half says it's biased on the other side, maybe the show is not biased but reviewers are. Maybe you think the show is biased because it's not fitting to your pre-existing biases.
If both sides claim that it's making the other side look good and their side look bad, maybe the show has a perfect balance and it's not biased at all.
Frozen (2013)
Pure garbage
This is one of those movies you can only like if you are 5-6 years old either physically or mentally. If your intelligence is the same level as a 5-year old, you might love this movie but otherwise it's a pretty bad movie.
Sure animations are cute and some of the songs aren't all that bad but there is no story, no character development and nothing interesting going on. They took a story that could easily be sold within 5-10 minutes and stretched it out to 2 hours, filled with a lot of weird material that don't even fit in the main story.
The whole thing looks and feels like a weak attempt at taking people's money especially people with kids. Disney didn't care about telling a story, it just wanted to sell merchandise and this movie was made for the sole purpose of doing that.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Way too long and too dark
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, the second installment in the swashbuckling saga, delivers a thrilling adventure filled with stunning visuals, memorable characters, and exhilarating action sequences. However, the film's excessive length and overly dark tone ultimately detract from the overall enjoyment.
Clocking in at over two and a half hours, the film feels unnecessarily long. The pacing is uneven, with some scenes dragging on and others feeling rushed. The excessive length detracts from the overall momentum and can leave the audience feeling fatigued.
While the first Pirates film had a balance of humor and adventure, Dead Man's Chest takes a darker turn. The constant threat of Davy Jones and his Kraken, combined with the grim fate of some characters, creates a heavy atmosphere that can be overwhelming at times.
The film's plot is overly complicated, with multiple storylines and characters intersecting in a confusing manner. This can make it difficult for the audience to follow the narrative and fully engage with the story.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is a visually stunning and action-packed film that will undoubtedly entertain fans of the franchise. However, its excessive length, overly dark tone, and convoluted plot ultimately hold it back from reaching its full potential. If you're looking for a thrilling pirate adventure, you'll find plenty to enjoy. However, be prepared for a long and somewhat somber journey.
The Omen (1976)
Terribly aged boring "scary" movie without a single scary scene
This is supposed to be a horror movie many people consider super scary but all I watched was a super boring movie that didn't have a single scary scene. Quite frankly the only scary thing about this movie was how slow and boring it was. If you think this movie is scary you must be one of those people who is scared of their own shadow.
This is more of a religious propaganda movie than a horror movie. The entire movie is filled with religious references and religious propaganda. If you enjoy watching a boring sermon at the church for 2 hours you'll love this movie. If that's not your idea of fun you won't find much in this movie other than insane amount of boredom.
I am sorry but adding a few bloody death scenes to a religious propaganda movie doesn't make it a horror movie.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Could this movie be any worse?
This movie is not only the worst Indiana Jones movie but also one of the worst movies I've ever watched. Period. Let's be honest, the only reason people sing praises of this movie is because they watched it as a kid and now they are feeling nostalgic towards it. If this movie came out today there would be no praises of it. The movie would be buried before it was even released.
This movie is too dark, too long, too boring and too chaotic. It also relies on grossness to create tension such as showing people eating live bugs and snakes or monkey brains. This is a pretty cheap tactic even worse this franchise which is known to take cheap heat.
I can't find any redeeming qualities about this movie. It was pretty bad. I could have made a much better movie than this one with 1/10th of the budget.
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
Aged like sour milk
Here is another movie everyone sings praises of because they think it makes them sound smart if they praise a movie that got a lot of awards but the movie aged pretty badly.
Here is what the movie is basically. There are 4 characters or two married couples and they get together one night and drink tons of alcohol to the point they are all drunk. Then they start yelling and screaming at each other, getting into shouting matches and they all have verbal fights while one of the characters acts totally clueless about what's going on around her.
Then some more screaming, some crying, some more angry shouts and some more crying later the movie ends with no point at all. There is literally nothing in the movie, not even a plot. You basically watch 4 people get drunk and scream at each other for 2 hours and this is considered "art" these days.
Gary Gulman: Born on 3rd Base (2023)
Not very funny this time
I usually like Gary Gulman's old stuff but this special didn't really work for me. There were maybe 2-3 good jokes in the entire show while a great majority of the jokes felt flat. Even audience was quiet most of the show. It looks like he already used most of his good jokes in past shows so there wasn't much left for this special.
This special could was more boring than funny. I felt bored 80% of the time and was tempted to close the video several times but I kept forcing myself to finish it because I had liked his past shows but this is nothing like his past work.
There are too many jokes that simply didn't work.
1917 (2019)
Too much reliance on cliche
This movie felt more like watching someone play a video game like Call of Duty than an actual war movie. It also relied too much on old recycled cliches that were already done in hundreds of movies before. We get it, war is bad. It was trendy to make "war is bad" movies in 1960s, 70s and even 80s but it's been way overdone and some movie makers are still trying to milk this theme to make money.
The movie is visually pretty but it's slow, boring and focuses too much on one guy. Like I said, it felt like we were watching a video game. There is one guy who is given a series of missions, go from point A to point B then do this tasks and head to point C and do another task and so on. It was far too formulaic to be interesting and added nothing new to the genre.
I don't see how this movie is considered a masterpiece but then again according to this place every movie ever made is a masterpiece.
Sing Street (2016)
Cute movie but nothing new
This is a cute movie if you want to spend 2 hours having good time without thinking too much but nothing beyond that. I don't understand all those praises given to this movie because it adds nothing new to the table. It basically covers a topic that has already been covered at least 1,000 times in at least 1,000 different movies. It's too much cliche to be worthy of all these praises.
Boy meets girl, boy starts a band, boy writes songs about the girl, the girl gets impressed, they fall in love, things look like they will break apart for a while but things miraculously turn around in the last 10 minutes after the band gives a good performance and they go together to seek new adventures.
I've already seen this so many times in so many movies before. I'd only rate this movie higher if it actually brought something new to the table which it failed to do.
La noche de 12 años (2018)
Boring torture porno
If you are the type of person that enjoys watching people getting tortured, abused, beaten and mistreated for 2 hours, you will enjoy this movie very much. Get your popcorn and enjoy your show but if you are a decent human being who hates that kind of stuff, you won't find much in this movie.
The movie offers nothing else really. It's just 2 hours of abuse and mistreatment that was endured by 3 characters and that's about it. If you expect the movie to offer anything else beyond that, you'll be hugely disappointed.
Of course this is IMDB where every movie ever made is called a "masterpiece" so this movie also gets called that but then again the whole word lost its meaning long time ago when 99% of all movies are called masterpiece by people here.
House of Sand and Fog (2003)
Melodrama overload
The only good thing about this movie is Jennifer Connelly who played her role almost perfectly.
The movie suffers from being too heavy on melodrama. There is a limit how much melodrama you can fit into a movie before people get sick and tired of it. People don't watch movie to be overloaded with melodrama, they watch movies to get entertained, take their minds off their daily problems for a few hours and have a good time. This movie just throws too much drama at people which at the end accomplishes nothing.
The movie doesn't have a "so what" statement or a lesson it's trying to teach. It just throws bunch of melodramic things at you hoping that you'll cry your eyes out for 2 hours and that's about it.
The Thin Blue Line (1988)
Poor pacing makes the whole thing confusing
This documentary has many problems and the biggest one is poor pacing. The documentary is 2 hours long and 90% of it is spent on showing the same materials again and again and again, interviewing the same people saying the same things over and over and over and when it comes to the part where it actually matters (the appeals court and supreme court decisions) they pass it so quickly that if you blink once you'll miss it.
There is no explanation as to how the case ended and how it was resolved and who was actually innocent and who was the actual murderer. They just interview the same people over and over and at the end nothing is solved.
Also the way it was presented is really confusing. First they say that the case went to appeals court and appeals court held the decision of the original court. Then it goes to supreme court which supposedly overturns the decision which means Randall Adams can now walk, right? Nope, Texas governor turns his death sentence to life in prison and his sentence stays so Texas basically ignores supreme court's decision. Wait what? How does it make any sense. None of this is explained in the "documentary" which spends 2 hours showing the same clips and same interviews repeatedly instead of actually explaining what actually happened.
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Could this video be any worse?
Notice that I didn't call this a "movie" because it isn't one. It is a 2-hour long music video with no plot, no character development, no acting, just 2 hours of dancing and singing.
If you enjoy watching music videos on MTV all day you will love this so called "movie" and think it is great but if you are actually a fan of film and actual movies you will hate this because it's lacking in every department. It has no plot, no character development and no real acting.
People say "it's just a musical" but no. Being a musical doesn't give a movie excuse to lack a plot and character development. There are many great musical movies with actual plots that are actual movies but this isn't one of those. This is just a cheap and colorful music video that lasts way too long.
The Searchers (1956)
Poorly constructed movie that aged badly
One of the major issues with The Searchers is its narrative structure, which meanders aimlessly and lacks a cohesive focus. The film follows Ethan Edwards, played by John Wayne, as he embarks on a quest to find his kidnapped niece. While the premise holds promise, the execution is marred by a lack of urgency and a series of unnecessary and distracting subplots. The pacing is sluggish, with long stretches of the film feeling disjointed and unengaging, ultimately testing the patience of the audience.
Furthermore, The Searchers presents problematic themes and racial undertones that are difficult to overlook. The portrayal of Native American characters is deeply troubling, relying on outdated stereotypes and perpetuating harmful narratives. The film's depiction of Indigenous cultures is steeped in racism and a distorted representation of history, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and contributing to the ongoing marginalization of Native American communities.
John Wayne's portrayal of Ethan Edwards, while celebrated by some as a notable performance, is marred by his one-dimensional and unlikable character. Edwards is an unapologetic racist, displaying unabashed animosity towards Native Americans. While some argue that the film attempts to critique his bigotry, it ultimately fails to challenge or condemn his views, leaving a sour taste and an uncomfortable message.
Additionally, the treatment of female characters in The Searchers is deeply problematic. The female characters are reduced to mere objects of desire or victims in need of saving, lacking agency and depth. Their limited roles and lack of development contribute to the film's overall shallow portrayal of women, reinforcing harmful gender stereotypes prevalent during the time of its release.
In terms of technical aspects, The Searchers is visually striking, with breathtaking landscapes and sweeping cinematography. However, the film's aesthetic merits alone cannot compensate for its narrative shortcomings and problematic themes.
In conclusion, The Searchers is a disappointing Western that fails to live up to its acclaim. Its meandering plot, problematic racial portrayals, and shallow characterizations hinder the film's potential for meaningful storytelling. While it may hold historical significance within the genre, its flaws and problematic elements make it difficult to recommend to modern audiences seeking nuanced and socially conscious narratives.
The Hunt for Red October (1990)
Ridiculous story
This is one of the most ridiculous and confusing movies I've ever seen in my life due to having way too many plot holes which makes the movie totally unwatchable and confusing. I stopped counting all the plot holes after 30 in the first hour or so.
It's funny how the submarine can outmaneuver every torpedo as if it's some sort of F-16 flying in the air. It makes such quick and sharp turns to avoid those torpedoes in a way that even a fighter plane couldn't make in the air let alone a massive submarine in the water.
My favorite part was when the submarine outmaneuvered the last torpedo in such a ridiculous way that the very submarine that launched that torpedo got hit by its own torpedo. What is this? Road Runner & Coyote cartoon? There is no submarine on earth that can move like that. It simply doesn't exist even in 2024 let alone in 1980s.
This movie made about as much sense as a Road Runner cartoon anyways. You might like it if you are not very smart though.
La peau douce (1964)
Adds nothing new to the table
After hearing so many praises of this movie I thought I was going to watch an innovative movie with a new, unique and different take but this movie offers nothing new. It's the same story you've already seen in literally thousands of movies. A married man falls in love with a younger girl, he has an affair with her and his wife finds out so he gets in trouble. This is pretty much the entire movie. It has already been done like thousands of times in the past. Even French movies have done this topic in the exact same way hundreds of times. I was expecting this movie to add a unique take on the topic but it didn't. It was a pretty simple movie that must have been put together in 2 hours including time spent on writing it.
Kathleen Madigan: Bothering Jesus (2016)
Only first half is good
Kathleen Madigan's latest comedy special, Bothering Jesus, is a mixed bag. On the one hand, Madigan is a sharp and witty comedian with a knack for observational humor. On the other hand, her material in this special is often too safe and predictable.
Madigan starts off the special with a strong set about her Irish Catholic upbringing. She talks about her parents' strict rules, her fear of hell, and her experiences with Catholic school. This material is fresh and funny, and it's clear that Madigan has a deep understanding of her subject matter.
However, the rest of the special is less impressive. Madigan spends a lot of time talking about her love of wine, her hatred of flying, and her struggles with technology. These are all topics that have been covered by countless comedians before, and Madigan doesn't bring anything new to the table.
One of the biggest problems with Bothering Jesus is that Madigan's jokes are often too predictable. She sets up her punchlines too early, and there's never any real surprise. This makes her material feel stale and unoriginal.
For example, Madigan has a joke about how she's always getting lost. She says, "I'm so bad at directions, I once got lost in a straight line." This joke is funny, but it's also very predictable. We can see the punchline coming from a mile away.
Overall, Kathleen Madigan: Bothering Jesus is a mixed bag. Madigan is a talented comedian, but her material in this special is often too safe and predictable. If you're a fan of Madigan's previous work, you'll probably enjoy this special. However, if you're looking for something new and innovative, you may be disappointed.
Anatomie d'une chute (2023)
Huge waste of time with no pay off at the end
This movie is 2.5 hours long 2 of which are spent in a court room but every single argument made by both parties in the court room are inconclusive and could be interpreted as pure speculation. For two hours it goes back and forth back and forth with nothing really making any sense.
Then to make things worse, this kid decides to make an "experiment" with his dog, nearly killing his dog by overdosing him and making his dog vomit, which somehow happens to prove that his mom is innocent which makes absolutely zero sense at all. That so called experiment didn't really prove anything even remotely relevant to the case and it was just another waste of time.
This whole movie could have been an episode of CSI and the whole story could have been told in 40 minutes or less. They didn't need to waste 2.5 hours of people's time.
This movie is another proof that Oscars don't mean anything anymore.
Found (2021)
Doesn't explain anything
This documentary says that 3 girls adopted from China were able to locate each other using a DNA testing website called 23andMe but it makes no sense because 23andMe is not a social network and it doesn't connect people like that. It's simply a service where you send a DNA sample and it tells you what your likely nationality is and what genetic health problems you might see in the future. There is nothing in this service that tell you who your family members might be or where they might be located because it's not a service like that.
So basically the documentary fails to actually explain how these people found each other, that's if it's even based on a true story which I am almost sure it isn't.
Ging chaat goo si (1985)
Too silly even for a comedy
As a fan of action movies, I was excited to watch "Police Story," hoping to experience the thrilling and dynamic storytelling that it is often associated with. However, I found myself sorely disappointed by this film, which failed to live up to its reputation and left me underwhelmed.
First and foremost, the plot of "Police Story" felt disjointed and poorly executed. The storyline lacked depth and coherence, leaving me confused and detached from the characters' motivations. The narrative progression was haphazard, with scenes that seemed arbitrarily strung together, failing to create a compelling and engaging story arc.
Moreover, the character development in "Police Story" was severely lacking. The protagonist, played by Jackie Chan, was one-dimensional and lacked the charisma and relatability that I had hoped for. The supporting characters were equally underdeveloped, making it difficult to invest in their fates or connect with their struggles.
While action sequences are often the highlight of films in this genre, "Police Story" failed to deliver in this aspect as well. The fight choreography felt repetitive and uninspired, lacking the creativity and precision that Jackie Chan is known for. The stunts, though physically demanding, did not evoke any sense of awe or excitement, as they were overshadowed by the lackluster storytelling.
Furthermore, the cinematography and editing of "Police Story" left much to be desired. The camera work was often shaky and inconsistent, hindering the clarity and impact of the action scenes. The editing felt choppy and disjointed, making it difficult to follow the flow of the film and disrupting any potential tension or momentum.
Lastly, the overall tone of "Police Story" was disappointingly grim and devoid of any lighthearted moments or humor. The film took itself too seriously without providing any respite from the intense and gritty atmosphere, resulting in a monotonous viewing experience that left me emotionally detached.
In conclusion, "Police Story" failed to live up to its reputation as an engaging and thrilling action film. From its poorly executed plot and lack of character development to its uninspired action sequences and lackluster cinematography, the film fell flat on multiple fronts. As a viewer seeking an exciting and well-crafted cinematic experience, I cannot recommend "Police Story" as anything more than a disappointing and forgettable endeavor.
The Lionheart (2023)
Terrible pacing and lack of focus
I don't even know where to begin. This documentary is all over the place and offers a weird watching experience because it's pacing is all over the place and the documentary itself is also jumping from place to place without any focus. The flow of the documentary is off and it keeps going from one place to another without transition and back again.
There are many parts where it felt very repetitive. We get it, the guy liked racing and so do his kids. You don't have to repeat the same point 100 times. We get it, his accident was tragic. We really do. I don't know why these documentaries assume that people are stupid and need to be told the same stuff over and over in repetition.
Also what is this documentary's main point? What are they trying to tell us? It just seems like the found a sad story and wanted to make a film of it. You have to have a main message and a "so what" statement but this documentary absolutely fails to deliver it.
What's the point of this documentary? There is nothing new in it and no central take home message. They just tell us how much this guy liked racing how he died in a race and now how his kids also love racing. So what? What's your point with all of this? This whole documentary could have been a 10 minute news segment at the evening news.
This documentary adds nothing new and it's quiet boring because of all its flaws.
Waves (2019)
Basically a 140-minute music video
It felt like the producers of this movie didn't really care for making a movie. Their main goal was to have us listen to their favorite songs blasting at maximum volume accompanied with bright colorful lights flashing all over the place. It just happened that they happened to have filmed a video to accompany their favorite playlist.
In most movies, the background music is just that, something that plays in the background. In this movie the background music is the main thing and the actual movie is just a background noise that's happening while you are listening to some loud music. Basically what you have in your hands is a 2.5 hour music video that keeps going and going without telling a compelling story.
Citizen X (1995)
Too slow and repetitive
As a fan of crime dramas and true crime stories, I had high hopes for Citizen X. However, I was left thoroughly disappointed and underwhelmed by this film. Despite its promising premise, the execution fell flat, resulting in a lackluster viewing experience.
One of the major drawbacks of Citizen X was its pacing. The film dragged on with many repetitive scenes, failing to maintain a consistent sense of tension and momentum. The slow pacing made it difficult to stay engaged, and I found myself losing interest in the story. Scenes that should have been gripping and suspenseful ended up feeling dull and monotonous.
Moreover, the character development was sorely lacking. The film failed to delve deep into the psyche of the characters, leaving them feeling one-dimensional and uninteresting. I couldn't connect with any of the characters on an emotional level, which made it difficult to invest in their struggles and the outcome of the story.
Another notable flaw was the lack of a compelling narrative arc. The plot meandered without a clear sense of direction, making it hard to follow and leaving several loose ends unresolved. The filmmakers failed to capitalize on the intriguing real-life story that Citizen X was based on, missing the opportunity to create a captivating and cohesive narrative.
Furthermore, the performances in Citizen X were underwhelming. Despite the presence of talented actors, their portrayals felt uninspired and lacked depth. The dialogue often felt stilted and forced, failing to convey the intensity and complexity of the situations the characters found themselves in.
Visually, the film was also unremarkable. The cinematography and production design lacked creativity and failed to create a distinct atmosphere. The overall aesthetics felt bland and unmemorable, further contributing to the overall lackluster experience.
In conclusion, Citizen X failed to live up to its potential. The slow pacing, weak character development, lack of a compelling narrative, mediocre performances, and unremarkable visuals all contributed to its downfall. As a viewer, I was left unsatisfied and longing for a more engaging and well-crafted crime drama. Unfortunately, Citizen X missed the mark and left me disappointed.
Miracle in the Desert: The Rise and Fall of the Salton Sea (2020)
The entire documentary could have been 10 minutes long
In the first 10 minutes they pretty much tell the whole story of the documentary and that could have been the entire thing honestly. The rest of the 83 minutes is spent on repeating the same points over and over and says nothing new that wasn't already said in the first 10 minutes of the documentary.
This is far too repetitive and it repeats the same stuff over and over and over. We get it. The lake is shrinking, it's exposing elements in the air and it's bad for the people living nearby. You don't have to tell the same point over and over 20 times throughout 1.5 hours when you already made the same point in the beginning of the documentary.
There are YouTube videos that are only 10-15 minutes long and tell the exact same story far more efficiently and this documentary adds nothing new to the table.