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GregTheStopSign95
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Messengers 2: The Scarecrow (2009)
It's kinda...complete garbage?
First mistake: they recast the whole damn family. I mean, yeah, Norman Reedus is a good actor, and at the very least a more interesting actor to watch than John Corbett, but this is John Corbett's role. (Honestly, I think the first mistake was making this movie to begin with, but it did get made, so we'll start with the recast.) As for the rest of the cast, I don't know Shirely McQueen from anywhere other than the first Messengers, so I can't exactly say whether Heather Stephens was an improvement or otherwise, but they still probably shouldn't have recast her. I also don't know Claire Holt from anywhere other than here, at the moment, but goddammit they should NOT have recast Tatiana!!
But at least there's a sex scene, and some titties...I guess?
The Messengers (2007)
Not at all terrible
It may not be a Horror Great but it's still a decent enough movie. The scares are slow-burn, and not even particularly big on the horror angle, being closer to supernatural-thriller type scares, and the performances are solid even if it did feel weird watching Dylan McDermott in a horror without Connie Britton. It was also kinda nice to see John Corbett again, I haven't seen him since I accidentally saw a few snippets of Sex & The City once, and I do like him for the most part.
It was also good to get a look at some more of Kristen Stewart because, yes Twilight stunk, but she's done some great work outside of it. Probably my biggest surprise, though, was catching a glimpse of Tatiana Maslany in the flashback sequences. I've loved her since I first stumbled across, and got instantly hooked on, Orphan Black so it's great to see more of her work outside of that series and She Hulk.
Genuinely, this is a solid horror-lite experience and you could do far worse than giving it a shot.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)
INCREDIBLY fun and engaging
If you've seen any Guy Ritchie movies that aren't that one with Madonna, you'll know what to expect here. It's actually a true story, just with the Guy Ritchie flourishes one would expect from one of his action movies, and it's FUN!
Henry Cavill is great, Alan Ritchson is awesome, Alex Pettyfer is dryly funny in that way that only Brits can be, as are Hero Fiennes Tiffin and Henry Golding, really. And watching Alan Ritchson work that knife is an utter pleasure.
Yes, it's a fictionalised version of Operation Postmaster, so a lot of the little details are fudged, but I believe the overall picture the movie paints is pretty spot-on, and pretty much ALL of the featured cast are wonderful in their roles. Especially Rory Kinnear.
It's a Guy Ritchie movie, what do you expect?
But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)
Perfection
No, this isn't a Masterpiece of Cinema History. No, this won't go down in the annals of history as one of mankind's greatest cinematic achievements. Yes, this movie does what it sets out to do and does it perfectly. Thus the 10/10.
Natasha Lyonne is, as usual, incredibly engaging as Megan, the lead, a cheerleader whose parents (Mink Stole and Bud Cort) suspect her of being *gasp* a lesbian and send her off to a Rehabilitation Camp (read "conversion therapy" camp) for gay teens, run by Cathy Moriarty's "Mary" and RuPaul's "Mike" who are in charge of 'fixing' the girls and the boys respectively. Also attending the camp are Clea DuVall's "Graham", Melanie Lynskey's "Heather" (notably utilising Ms Lynskey's natural accent), Dante Basco's "Dolph", and Kip Pardue's "Clayton" among others. What follows is a delightfully campy look at a small slice of life as a gay teen and the pressures they can face to "be normal".
In short, this really is far better than its reception over the years would have you believe.
Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)
Bogged down by fanservice
Before you downvote me, let's get one thing clear: I really did enjoy this movie. I did! There was just too much pointless fanservice in it. Too many cameos that felt like they were there Just Because. I (and I'm sure many others) would have happily sat through another half an hour if it meant getting something of substance from the cameos we got rather than have them pop up so we can all do that one Leo DiCaprio meme. You know the one I mean.
Oh, I also think one of the cameos was completely miscast. Like, they used THAT guy? WHY???
For the main cast, though, the highlight for me was absolutely Emma Corrin. I mean, we all know that Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman are perfectly suited for their roles, and we know that most of the cameo actors are suited to their roles, but Emma Corrin. My word. She was incredible as Cassandra Nova! I do wish, though, that she'd been given more to work with. You know, make her a REAL threat?
Anyway, this was easily the weakest of the Deadpool movies so far, to me, and that's a real shame because they had the opportunity to do something REALLY special here...
The Bay (2012)
Refreshingly plausible
Most Found Footage horror movies, as good as they may be, are usually pretty easily dismissed due to their supernatural focus - see the Paranormal Activity and Blair Witch franchises for great examples - even if they are usually pretty well executed. This one is different. This one is deeply rooted in a far more plausible possibility brought about by environmental pollution and how it impacts an existing parasite. It was also somewhat inspired by an actual even in the Chesapeake Bay area, which only serves to increase the plausibility.
The acting is decent, especially for a relatively low-budget Found Footage movie, and it was weird to see Kether Donohue so young considering I first saw her in You're The Worst.
I've just completely lost my train of thought, though, so I'll leave it at saying I definitely recommend at least checking this out.
Supernova (2000)
Not terrible, but not very good either
You can tell it wanted to be more, that it was supposed to be more, that it was supposed to be FAR better...but it's none of those.
Don't get me wrong, the cast is VERY good - Angela Bassett and James Spader on their own would usually indicate that the movie is of a pretty good calibre, not to mention together! Then there's Lou Diamond Phillips, Robin Tunney, and Peter Facinelli, all of whom are much better than this mess deserved. And of course Robert Forster (for about 5 minutes) and Wilson Cruz (who, to be fair, I really only know from Star Trek: Discovery)...
As for the story, it's not so much that it's bad at all, it's just a big steaming mess. Certain relationship beats happen seemingly out of absolutely nowhere, other story beats are rushed, and one or two story elements are touched on VERY briefly and then left unresolved in ANY way. It's a real shame the studio pushed in and took over, because this could have been something worthwhile...
Species: The Awakening (2007)
Hot garbage.
For starters, the Species franchise was never that great to begin with, but even THIS is undeserving of a recognisable name in the title. It's a WHOLE mess up in here.
The cast are terrible, even for a Direct-to-DVD movie, and to be completely honest they'd probably be below the bar for Hallmark movies. Hell, I'd even venture a guess that the acting in the Birdemic movies is Oscar-worthy compared to this mess.
Then there's the aliens...the only commonality between the ones in this movie and the previous three is that they look kinda similar? I guess? So much else about them has been changed, though, that this REALLY doesn't deserve the recognition of a known name in the title.
Seriously, only watch this if you're a masochist, or if you just HAVE to see some titty. If not for the titty I wouldn't have rated this at all.
Species III (2004)
Better than the last one.
This was remarkably good considering it's a lower-budget TV movie. I went in expecting rubbish but came out with a decent thrift-shop-find of a movie, really.
By no means is it great, don't get me wrong, but it's a whole lot better than it should be. Especially considering none of the original cast are back except in flashbacks. Also, they kinda messed it up by departing from the original Giger designs of the aliens, without even trying to explain this in the story...which is probably for the best, really. On the other hand, they do deviate from the established formula of the hybrid alien killing everyone while trying to mate, and they make it a bit more 'grounded' by focusing on the almost-science of the whole situation, I guess?
As for the cast, there's really nobody of great note aside from Robert Knepper and Robin Dunne, and maybe Sunny Mabrey, but at least there are none of your standard TV Movie actors like Kevin Sorbo or Dean Cain lol.
Species II (1998)
A major downgrade from the first one
The ONLY thing this movie has in its favour is that it's not a direct rehash of the original, and the main alien is a dude. Aside from that, it's far worse.
On the actual up side we have Michael Madsen, Marg Helgenberger, and Natasha Henstridge returning, with Henstridge's scenes a lot less sexualised, and while we don't have Forest Whitaker, Alfred Molina, or Ben Kingsley, we do have Mykelti Williamson. He kinda makes up for the lack of Molina at least.
All that being said, it's really only something you should watch if you're some kind of completionist in regards to the cast, or the franchise. Or for the limited Gigerness.
Species (1995)
It's not great, but it's not terrible?
Like the title says, this is by no means a terrible movie, it's just not that great. It's well and truly overshadowed by the likes of Mimic, the Alien franchise, and the Predator franchise, for starters. However, it's worth it to watch Forest Whitaker, Michael Madsen, Alfred Molina, and a young Michelle Williams do their thing. And yes, it's also worth it to see Natasha Henstridge's titties, I guess.
It really is a predictable, somewhat messy, story that follows exactly the beats you expect it to - from the experiment's subject escaping, through its rapid growth, to the final showdown - but it really is saved from bottom-of-the-barrel obscurity by some excellent performances by the leads. It's just a shame it didn't live up to the potential of the cast it has.
The Fanatic (2019)
Perfectly middling
John Travolta and Devon Sawa turned in some really good performances as the titular Fanatic - Moose - and the target of his fanaticism - actor, Hunter Dunbar - respectively, and without them, this would have been a hot mess. As it is it's still not great, but it's better than it deserves to be.
Travolta has said he took this role as a tribute to his late, autistic, son Jett so I hope it helped give him some kind of comfort regarding such a terrible loss, because he probably needed it. He did well, too, to portray an aspect of autism without going full Simple Jack (that's a Tropic Thunder reference, for those who haven't seen that masterpiece), as he could have been tempted to do.
I also appreciate that the movie ends without full-on spoon-feeding us details of what happened to Moose and Hunter afterwards. I appreciate that it let us connect the dots for ourselves.
Tank Girl (1995)
Badly hamstrung
Yet another movie that serves as proof that studios should just keep their filthy hands OFF movies while they're in production. Or, at the very least limit their involvement to genuine suggestions rather than 'suggestions'. Especially after reading the trivia section on here.
That aside, it's not exactly a terrible movie but it really could have done a lot more with what it had. There are some great ideas here, especially in the visuals - both the animated inserts and the Ripper designs - but it all just feels a little bit TOO ADHD to really stick the landing.
Still, it's Lori Petty, Naomi Watts, Jeff Kober, Ice T, Reg E Cathey, and Malcolm McDowell, so you can't be too sad about it, can you?
Hide (2011)
Decent for a TV movie
I had no idea this was a TV movie when I watched it, it was just something I found on Prime and decided to watch because of Carla Gugino and Jay Karnes. Kevin Alejandro being there was a little bonus, though.
The movie itself was alright, but it could have been better with a bigger budget and better production values.
It's a bit of a stock standard Midday Movie detective story about kidnapped, and tortured/murdered, girls with two survivors who look almost identical, not a great deal of darkness to it really - aside from the perp of course - and some pretty solid performances from the main cast.
You could do worse, even if you just watch it for the cast.
Wishmaster (1997)
Aged pretty well
Firstly, this is a movie that is defiantly B-Grade, and it shines all the more for it. It has a cast of iconic B-Grade horror movie stars - Tony "Candyman" Todd, Kane "Jason Voorhies" Hodder, Andrew Divoff, Ted Raimi, and of course the greatest (to me, personally) horror icon, Robert Englund. We also get cameos from Verne "Mini Me" Troyer, Angus "Tall Man" Scrimm (albeit only in voice form), John Carpenter staple George 'Buck' Flower, and Ricco "Frost from Aliens" Ross among others.
Despite being a 1997 movie, the special effects feel late-80s, as befitting it's B-Movie status, I guess, but they don't come across particularly bad or dated in any way.
The acting from our lead, Tammy Lauren, is everything you'd expect from a B Movie, but not always distractingly so, and the story is basic enough to bring the gore - an evil Djinn is released and twists wishes immediately, if not directly affecting the wisher.
It's worth a watch, even if just to see the aforementioned horror icons.
Talk to Me (2022)
RackaRacka does it again!
What an incredible movie! I mean, I knew from the beginning, as soon as the Aussie flavour kicked in, that this was going to be good, but it was beyond my expectations.
The cast are great with everyone bringing their A game, the story is REALLY good and unlike anything I've seen in quite a while. The real star, though, is the effects team. The things they did were INTENSE!! Though, if I'd clicked to the fact that the Philippou lads are RackaRacka I'd have been a lot more prepared.
I didn't, though.
Not at first.
So THAT scene genuinely had me cringing and almost looking away.
I understand better now, why Joe Bird had to keep taking breaks away from everyone while filming that scene...
M3GAN (2022)
Reasonably good at what it does.
Unfortunately, what it does isn't very new OR very rare. In fact most of what it does was done far better, if not all together, in various Black Mirror episodes. Child's Play, too. I mean, I haven't seen the more recent Chucky movie or TV series, but it sure seems much the same.
All that being said, though, this really is a good movie. The two leads - Allison Williams as Gemma and Violet McGraw as Cady - are very good with what they're given to work with, while Amie Donald and Jenna Davis combine to give the titular 'doll' M3GAN a suitably creepy presence.
I guess my main issue with it all is that it just kinda escalates far too quickly? It could have benefited greatly from even just 5 or 10 more minutes of character building. Maybe I'll track down a copy of the unrated version and see if they cut more than just gore.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
Another gripping installment in the Quiet Place franchise
I'll warn you now, I'm probably very biased here as I still think the original is one of the best horror/thriller movies ever made because of how different the concept is AND how well it was all executed. The second one was the slightest step down, but only because it's patently impossible to match Krasinski's Lee for emotional power, but Cillian Murphy did a wonderful job in his own role. This time around, the roles are kind of reversed in that the first two movies had the focus more on the men than the women, although both were equals and brought their own strengths and weaknesses to their films.
This time around the dual leads are Lupita Nyong'o (Sam) and Joe Quinn (Eric), with Sam being the more emotionally strong and Eric being the more physically capable. Both are brilliant in their roles and the chemistry between the characters is pretty believable given the short time they're together and the way the world is falling apart around them. Sam's 'service cat' Frodo adds the smallest hint of comfort for her and Eric, as well as more than a few "aww" moments.
I should probably have lead with this, now that I think of it, but if you're here for a lore-heavy origin story of the invaders you'll be disappointed, because although it IS about the day they first landed, the story is again far more about some of the people who endured that first day. We DO get a little bit more lore about the invaders, but it's just a little bit more, and nowhere near enough to satisfy those of you just wanting to know about them rather than their impact on the people around them.
For me, I bloody loved it.
Anyone But You (2023)
Does what it says on the tin, at least
Maybe it's because I didn't expect anything much, and only wanted to watch because I'm a fan of Glen Powell, or maybe it's just because I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to most forms of entertainment, but I had a LOT of fun with this movie. More than I expected, to be honest.
Glen Powell did his usual thing of completely stealing every scene he's in, and Sydney Sweeney was at least a better actor here than in Madame Web, AND both were predictably incredibly hot, but the rest of the cast held up their ends really well too.
The story is nothing much really, and certainly not new, but everyone involved seems to be having a lot of fun...PLUS you get to see Bryan Brown, Dermot Mulroney, Rachael Griffiths, Michelle Hurd, and even GaTa just out here having FUN! Something we don't really get to see that often.
It really is just a good bit of predictable rom-com fun, and that's fine by me.
Black Mirror: Mazey Day (2023)
ThIs IsN't BlAcK mIrRoR
Just because it doesn't beat you over the head with "technology bad" doesn't mean it's not a Black Mirror episode. This is as much a Black Mirror episode as The National Anthem from season 1 (you know, the first episode broadcast?) and Smithereens from season 5. It shows the power of media, be it Social Media or otherwise, to control our thoughts and actions.
In The National Anthem, people were glued to their screens to watch a man have sex with a pig. In Smithereens, people were unaffected by the events that played out via live-blogging on social media. Here, people were ignoring the very real events playing out right in front of them because they were chasing million-dollar pap photos. You can't throw this out as "not Black Mirror" just because it wasn't focused on the technology.
All that being said, it was an interesting story with a decent cast, playing their roles well. It may not be anything very new, or revelatory, but it did what it set out to do and did it well.
Gojira -1.0 (2023)
My first proper Godzilla movie.
I've seen the Hollywood ones, and they're good. Even the terrible one is better than it's given credit for. This, though. This is on a whole different level. I know now why Godzilla has the reputation he has, and I'm gonna have to track down more.
The story is VERY good, the casting is great, the effects...everything is excellent. It absolutely deserves the Academy Award it won, and hopefully this paves the way for more consideration (and awards) for future Godzilla movies.
Honestly, I'm kicking myself that it took me this long to watch a proper Godzilla movie, it was that good. I especially loved the actual main story of Koichi Shikishima, Noriko Oishi, and baby Akiko.
The Mod Squad (1999)
It's not terrible. At all.
It really isn't. Just because it's not 'amazing', or 'mind-blowing' doesn't mean it's terrible.
Granted, the story is VERY thin, and it could have easily been wrapped up in half the time, but it's decent enough to warrant at least a second viewing. Even if just for Giovanni Ribisi's patented half-dopey, half-smart-alec performance which he always does so well. Claire Danes is decent enough as well, as is Omar Epps, and the cops are all played well - especially Dennis Farina as the youngsters' mentor Greer and Sam McMurray as Tricky. Josh Brolin, though, was kinda forgettable as Billy, mainly because the character himself was kinda forgettable I guess.
The Lair of the White Worm (1988)
An underrated classic!
Given the time it was made, the technical limitations, and the low budget, this is quite a wonderful little movie. Hugh Grant is cast almost against type as a dapper young man who's not as wet and limp as his roles would later be, Peter Capaldi ably portrays a young archaeology student who kicks off the snake-themed shenanigans when he unearths a strange skull, Catherine Oxenberg and Sammi Davis are decent enough as the Trent sisters, but the real draw for most is probably Amanda Donohoe as the enigmatic neighbour Lady Sylvia.
The movie itself is really not that bad as long as you understand what you're going into, and the visual effects for the hallucination sequences are mesmerising, if somewhat bizarre and surreal in their own right.
All in all, though, you could do far worse than watching this if you've never seen it. It's an experience.
Star Trek: Short Treks: Runaway (2018)
More Tilly!
Yeah, I went in biased because I just love Tilly and I think Mary Wiseman does an incredible job of making her actually feel like a real character. On the other hand, I'm not what you'd call a Trekkie by any stretch because, while I do enjoy Trek (and enjoy it more than Star Wars) I've never been a particularly big fan. Like, I can happily watch and enjoy Star Trek shows and movies, but I'm not actively seeking it out. Discovery is somehow different, hence watching Short Treks now.
Anyway, back to the point. I love Tilly. I love Mary's performance as Tilly. I love this cute little short/episode. At the time of writing this review, I'm up only to episode 9 of season 2 and I haven't encountered Po again so I don't know if she turns up again but I hope she does, and I hope we get a continuation of this in some manner rather than complete disregard.
Rendez-Vous (2015)
Nothing special, but nothing terrible either
It was all just a bit meh, I guess? Even when they tried to spice it up a bit with sex scenes, they were only half-cooked. And no, I'm not saying they should have shown more skin, specifically, I'm saying they needed something a bit MORE to them. Like, maybe some more lingering and allusive shots OR something more overt and confronting. The scenes themselves weren't terrible, they just didn't really commit to anything with them. Then again, the movie is listed on Prime as "Horror" but there's maybe 5 to 10 minutes of almost-psychological-horror and that's it. I'd have LOVED for that to have been better fleshed out, too.
Like I said, it's neither very special nor overly terrible, but it COULD have been. It just needed a bit more work on the script. The actors were great, the setting was lovely, the sound design was awesome for the budget they probably had, the script just let everyone down. I'd like to see what a British studio would do with a remake of this tbh. Not an American studio, they'd probably crank up the bombast and over-stylise the sex scene. IF they even left the sex scene in, that is, we know how Americans love to censor sex and increase the violence. This, though, this just needs a bit more meat on the bones of the script. Give the sex a bit more weight, and actually push through on the psychological horror aspect barely hinted at here.