Here's how you can evaluate the success of your conflict resolution tactics.

When is a goal accomplished? Don't leave the answer open for interpretation because this will cause frustration, more conflict, and time wasted. Define (alone or with your team) what success looks like, including main goals and milestones. When everyone is on the same page and can agree on the definition of success, the chances are very high that it will be achieved.

In my opinion, this is often the quickest and most accurate method to improve our communication skills. Not only do we become more self-aware of our communication strengths, we can gain more knowledge of our communication areas of improvement through the blind spots observed by people around us. Another good model to consider is the Johari window, in which you and your team can adopt this coaching model to develop better self and team awareness in improving interpersonal and small-group communication.

More than implementing changes, we must observe changes in the strategy or tactics. Observing says how good that implementation has worked and if not, we must change it again. When it comes to conflict resolution, you must use tactics or strategies that are fair on both sides and shouldn't benefit one side.

Context is queen when it comes to reducing drama and improving relationships. How you are being with the content of the conversation is just as important, if not more, than resolving the content of the issue itself. If we came to a content resolution while eroding trust in the relationship, we didn't solve anything at all. Look back on a recent conflict you experienced. How was your nervous system handling that? Were you feeling threatened, and how did that effect your behavior and ability to really participate in the conversation with presence and curiosity? When we are in a threatened state, we do not have access to our best selves. We must prioritize tending to our state so we can shift into a more creative and open position.

There is a Chinese saying which states that "Failure is the Mother of Success". We don't grow as leaders because we are always successful all the time. Rather, we become more trustworthy and competent leaders when we are brave enough to step out of our comfort zones, make good decisions for our organization and encounter unavoidable mistakes. Do not repeat these failures. Yet, learn from these failures and acquire timeless gems of leadership wisdom. Don't give up, you will get better if you learn from your failures and apply newfound leadership wisdom in your daily life :)