What are the common mistakes people make when giving feedback?

One prevalent error in providing feedback is the lack of clarity, which includes omitting relevant examples to illustrate areas for improvement. Additionally, not delivering feedback in a timely manner can be problematic. Addressing issues promptly upon observation enables swift corrective actions or solutions, fostering more efficient collaboration between employers and employees. Proactive actions are more beneficial than reactive ones in such instances.

Here are couple of things I learnt from my mentor. 1. Its important to understand the mindset of the mentee before answering him. Giving feedback when the mentee is not open to receive, is futile. 2. Seek to understand rather than going on an answering spree. Its important to ask questions and help the person think so that you can give a specific answer.

Giving a feedback needs to be carefully worded, even a negative feedback will be easily accepted if it was worded properly. Most people are either too afraid to give negative feedback and sugarcoat it or they’re too direct and end up hurting or making the recipient feel defensive. So, it’s always about the delivery.

When giving feedback, be concise and clear is essential for the receiver to capture the essence of the message. Everyone sees truth on their set of eyes and it is also important to base the information given on facts and behaviour that can't be challenged, especially when constructive or negative feedback are on the table

Don't wait to provide feedback. As soon as you see or hear both positive or negative actions taking place. Deliver the feedback right away with the specifics about the actions that were taken. To many times I have seen managers wait till yearly reviews to provide feedback for the first time. Yearly reviews should be a review of actions that you are working with them on and not have any surprises.

I do not see the benefit of "scheduled" performance feedback sessions. If you are going to be an effective manager and gain the trust of your employees, you need to be able to provide both good and improvement feedback to your employees in real time (or as close to real time as possible). Saving up feedback for annual, semi-annual or even quarterly review sessions is far too late for an employee to take the feedback to heart and course correct if necessary.

Connect with the Individual is very important before giving the feedback. Always consider the Human side. Start with the positive feedback and then go negative feeback. Together with negative feeback also try to provide solution.

There are two fatal flaws in feedback that erodes it's effectiveness: 1. Feedback that is not timely 2. Feedback that is not delivered first hand Delayed feedback can dilute its impact, allowing habits to solidify and making improvement harder. To optimize feedback's value, offer it promptly. This ensures relevance, fosters immediate reflection, and accelerates growth. Feedback is usually given second hand when collected for a formal process. The challenge with feedback not coming from the person who observed the behavior is that the details gets loss in translation and the person receiving the feedback is not able to get questions answered that would be valuable in allowing them to grow.

One common mistake people make when giving feedback is being too general, rather than providing specific or accurate information.

I believe this goes beyond balancing positive and negative, but should include balancing the amount of feedback. There can be too much or too little. Everyone doesn't process information the same way. Anyone who has more than one child can most likely identify with this. The feedback needs to tailored to individuals capacity to process and deliver. I have found this to be helpful.

In my experience people often shy away from strong messages in order not to be confrontational or for fear of souring a relationship. However, this then leads to 'issues' not being addressed & no guidance on how to improve being given, so in the long run unfair & detrimental to career progression & development of skills. Feedback should be given in an open, non judgemental & constructive way, focusing on development areas & goal setting. There should be always a discussion once feedback is given so that it can be discussed & understood fully, sometimes the feedback given may need to be changed once the recipient is able to clarify or explain performance related issues (which shouldn't be automatically rejected or viewed as being defensive).

Striking the right balance between positive & negative feedback is critical for any leader/ coach in order to get the best performance out of their teams. There is a time & a place for both in equal measure. Too much of one or the other could be detrimental to a group or individuals. If you hear positivity all the time, you can get ahead of yourself & become complacent, whereas a constant negative energy around consistently can knock confidence & effect performance. Finding the right balance to gain the optimal performance of the workforce is a key component for any leader/ coach to strike to get the best out of their team or individuals.

I generally provide constructive feedback in the form of informal verbal counseling. It is important to provide some good with the bad, but equally important is asking what support is needed and how management can help. Then actively listen, rephrase what you heard, and both agree on each others terms and/or action items from the session. I have found following this format usually elicits a “thank you” from what ordinarily would be viewed by the employee as a negative interaction.

Nobody is perfect and we are all in 'Work In progress' mode all the time, isn't it? This is where feedback, especially, constructive feedback comes into picture. Feedback is not always for an improvement area but also for an action that is being done right. A balanced feedback helps the receiver put in their best in the right way possible. The person giving feedback should firstly be self aware, empathetic, use the right words that are not hurtful but more encouraging, without bias, should not be judgmental and provide a space space for the receiver to express themselves authentically. Feedback sessions are not a one way channel. It is a platform for both the provider and receiver to have a healthy discussion for the best of all.

A subtle form of disrespect is assuming that one knows facts or has expertise that makes their feedback relevant, useful, or correct, in particular when critiquing another person's lived experience. I see this often on social media: jumping to conclusions, putting words in others' mouths which supplant projection in place of truth, and general presumptuousness. Asking clarifying questions (with true curiosity and a search for understanding) may negate the need for feedback, or reveal that the specific feedback is unwarranted or inapplicable. Ask, don't assume. Seek clarity; don't provide feedback rooted in preconceived notions.

Biggest thing is not showing empathy. Very important to try to walk in their shoes.you need to remember that the other person does not know what you are thinking about their performance and does not know whether they are doing well or not meeting your expectations. Be specific and talk about your observations and do not make ungrounded assessments about their intentions. Lastly, offer help. I try to tell my direct reports to tell me if they do not have the resources they need to complete my request. My commitment to them is to provide everything they need to hold their commitments.

Liz Lerman got this right with her Critical Response Process. It's all about consent for feedback. A key component when giving feedback goes like this: "I have feedback to give you about xyz specifically. Is that something you are interested in hearing right now?" If yes, then proceed. If no, then keep it to yourself because it wouldn't have been received and integrated anyway. It doesn't matter how badly you think your feedback is needed.

I believe it's essential to provide feedback in a respectful and constructive manner. When we express our opinions with courtesy and empathy, we promote an environment of trust and collaboration, encouraging others to receive and utilize feedback for their personal and professional development.

Being respectful is very important. I think one sign of disrespect is coming off as robotic. I think it's very important to come off as genuine as possible because our young military members are a lot smarter than we were and they will since if they are just words which they would find disrespectful or if they are words with meaning to which they will appreciate. Not being disrespectful is very important and if you earn that intial respect from that first interaction that a Win for everyone.

What the person giving the criticism is definitely not prepared for is criticism in return. Don't make the feedback a monologue, make it useful to yourself, and developmental, since you have taken the time to educate the other person. How to do it. Offer dialog, initiate clarifying questions, provoke discussion. In this case, it may turn out to be not just feedback, but something fundamentally new, some shared meaning that did not exist before and would not have happened without your interaction.

One thing I have found helpful in providing feedback is inviting the receiver to share their thoughts and suggestions on what they did well and areas that they felt they needed improvement. This approach allowed me the opportunity to share my feedback and made the effort conversational. Once we completed the discussion I would end it with inviting them to share one area they wanted to focus on for accountability and to measure their progress along the way.

For me, the essence of this is: Nobody is perfect. Why should your ability and your way of giving feedback be so perfect that you don't need feedback on your feedback?

It's important to give someone space to process constructive feedback after receiving it. That may happen in the moment or for some, it may happen later. If they express emotion in the moment don't immediately respond or try to manage their feelings. Afterward, make formulating the next steps a collaborative process. They should not be part of a monologue or a unilateral decision if you are looking for a positive outcome.

Feedback precisa ser uma via de mão dupla, e o principal é que precisamos aprender que nem sempre é negativo, quando você expõe algo que deu certo, participa e tem os detalhes do que está acontecendo quem está dando o feedback aprende muito, não apenas quem está recebendo

Keeping feedback aligned with what the overall goal is for a group or individual is key. Feedback should always be to the success of the group/ individual, with this in mind it should be tailored to this. As a leader if you are constantly changing your message, constantly changing your plan or strategies it will quickly become diluted & your workforce will lose trust in what you are trying to accomplish. If this happens, you could quickly ‘lose the room’. In sports teams, losing the trust & belief of your players can be disastrous. It can be very hard to regain & can become a struggle to get the best out of your team moving forward.

With the leaders I coach, I focus on the following regarding consistent feedback: Clear Objectives: Setting clear goals. Structured Frameworks: Using tools like Everything DiSC for personalized feedback. Continuous Dialogue: Ensuring feedback is part of an ongoing conversation. Actionable Insights: Providing clear, actionable steps for improvement. Openness Culture: Cultivating an environment where feedback is openly exchanged. Consistent feedback not only guides leaders toward their goals but also empowers them to navigate their unique challenges with confidence. It's fundamental in building a trustful and supportive coach-coachee relationship, essential for the success and authenticity of leaders of color.

One thing I have found useful is to keep record of previous conversations to avoid changing up the discussion and being inconsistent. Planning the discussion also helps to keep the conversation concise and focused. Ultimately the feedback should be about what both you and the receiver are clear about.

Yes. I'm totally agreed with this. Consistency is very crucial when it related to feedback. If feedback is inconsistent and not aligned with goal then it will create confusion and diminish trust. There should be consistency in how and when you provide feedback, also we need to ensure that all team members are with equal standards. I personally seek feedback oftenly to improve growth. Consistent and relevant feedback helps to correct and avoid issues for future before they become habits. To improve skillsets consistent feedback is required.

Inconsistency in feedback can be detrimental as it creates ambiguity and hinders progress. It undermines trust and clarity, leading to confusion and inefficiency. Addressing inconsistency ensures alignment, fosters accountability, and promotes a culture of continuous improvement.

I beleive trust between mentèe and mentor have prime importance before feedback session is start, might be first meeting between them is to build the trust rather start giving feed back, because its a lengthy process in one sitting one can't complete. Remember that feed is not good or bad, it has to be "Right". May be in an hour feed back session 75% of initial time is to making ground so that a tough feed back will be taken positively. Genuineness and seriousness is must from both sides to start the process.

The person receiving the feedback needs to be in a state of mind to listen and understand. Feedback should offer growth to that person. ( and maybe your growth as a leader too) Ask the person if they are comfortable receiving some fair but honest feedback first. If yes, then give it. If no, contract when you can reconnect to discuss. You never know what else could bring going on in someone’s life that would impact your goal of offering feedback to improve their performance. Also, reflect as a leader. Were you clear about the project, expectations or how to execute? If not, consider the situation as an opportunity to build your skills to ensure their success. Feedback is a gift, if it two ways and in the spirit of growth and partnership.

It is important to focus on what the person is hearing, not what you’re saying. What is the one thing you want them to take away from the conversation? Make sure that has landed and is clear before the conversation ends.

In my experience it’s more effective when the focus is on behaviour, not personalities. For instance instead of saying you are not a team player,' try 'When you ghost the team meetings, we miss out on your valuable insights.' It's not about pointing fingers, it's about pointing towards progress.

Not being solicited. Depending on the relationship, feedback may be a requirement. However, not all relationships have feedback as a requirement. I see this all the time in relationships: spouses, partners, parents, children, friends, etc. Someone makes the assumption another is waiting for their feedback, which oftentimes is unsolicited, and may in fact be uneducated, uninformed, or not credible. Parents, when your kid is venting and you have something to add, check in with them. "Do you need to vent and me listen or are you telling me so we can come up with a solution together?" Parents too quickly jump in to offer feedback when they just need to hold space and trust their kids will solve their own problems.