Stacey A. Mahoney, CDPC-ACC, CCF, CDF

I agree. Coaching is a partnership. We co-create outcomes and should start the relationship with mutual trust. Engaging a professional while simultaneously doubting their capabilities is counterintuitive. I have experienced clients who are skeptical of coaching, but it’s often framed as uncertainty about the practice but not questioning my capabilities. If you don’t trust the capability of the coach you have, please keep searching for the right one.

As my colleagues have shared, quality coaching is about framing powerful questions that lead to client discovery. Our role is collaborative, holding a mirror for clients’ to better see themselves — framed in their goals. Well crafted questions unlock creativity, exploration, and reflection that moves the client to possibility while identifying blockers and ways to remove them. Healthy questions give the brain creative play, like assembling a puzzle, where the client’s goal is the final image and the pieces unfold through the questions. Coaches encourage this by building on our client’s wisdom, not our own curiosity — and walking purposefully with them toward their goal.

As you look to expand and diversify your network, remember to consider what's in it for others. Diversity of connections should not solely be the goal. It's superficial if that's the only thing. What are you doing with that diverse network? What kind of relationships are you building? How are you also being an asset to environments that you seek? This is what you'd do across any membership communities that you value - so extend that mindset.

As you look to build connections, remember that calling highlights as praise -- but lacking insight --- can come across like flattery (emphasis on FLAT). And while flattery can open doors and get a conversation started, contextualizing your compliment with insight has a better chance of earning you the kind of respect and credibility that makes you a desirable connection. It's a good note to be respectful and courteous, and that also means with the currencies of time and attention. The brilliant best-selling author, Luvvie Ajayi has written on many occasions that your first outreach should be polite, succinct, with a clear request or action included that is a light lift on the recipient.

Research should mean more than reciting someone's online biography. Many executives don't like bio-based praise and find it presumptuous when someone reads their resume as if they "know them." Research that builds connection will include an understanding of you see and why it resonates. What (if anything) have they said about it.

Mentorship are mutually beneficial for mentors and mentees when the pairing is right. As you build out your objectives, remember that your "WHY" matters very much to those you identify. It's not enough to be interested in a person and what to learn from them while offering something token/easy for you to give. You are asking for them to trust you with their development - and that won't happen if your "why" solely focuses on your own needs to learn or be generous without a sense of connection. Often times, my clients have described feeling tokenized by someone who was newly interested in learning about "people like them" and offered their mentorship in exchange... but feeling like a token doesn't engender trust or connection.