Unicorn Nuggets: Chapter 7

Hi Friends,

It's been a moment since we've shared a collective space via newsletter. Since we're all friends here, I will share my honest truth- I have fallen behind on writing long form. To be honest, in the journey to finding a publisher (and the rejection that follows), I have become less confident in my own words and writing and couldn't find the motivation to write. I have opened this page many times, and closed it again. Being in the public eye isn't always glitter, and every day isn't a good day- and frankly, I've had a couple of pretty bad days- and self doubt is a tough habit to quit- but that ends today. Not because I've found a publisher, but because I recognize that I don't need the validation of others to write, to speak, to take up space- and neither do you.

I have spent a lot of the last few weeks reflecting on community and the important role it plays in my life. The sudden downfall of twitter has allowed to me think about how influential community has been to me in this journey. I have always lamented on how Twitter was the dark part of the internet, but I have spent the last week reflecting on the immense joy, light and laughter that twitter has brought me and so many others.

It has also forced me to think about how quickly community can be stolen from us, and that white supremacy has never wanted us to have such community. Unfortunately, this truth was highlighted by the Colorado Springs shooting.

As queer people, we are consistently forced to second guess the things that bring us joy, and forming public community is one of those things. We are deserving of safety, community and public joy, and yet so often when we find it, we are stripped of it. We are forced to rethink how we experience joy and where we are allowed to experience it- and it is heartbreaking.

I posted this video in response to my own personal feelings about the incident:

In response, I received all of these comments / messages from a woman named 'Christina'.

Christina sent dozens of DMs + voice memos to place the blame on the queer community and continue to spew homophobia and racism my way.

We are not even allowed to express and experience grief without being policed.

There is privilege in how you are able to experience emotions. There is privilege in the way you get to react in situations. If I react like I have emotions, I'm an angry black woman. If I say no, I'm too assertive or selfish. Not everyone is allowed to be present in moments of emotional surges. How often do we shut ourselves down to keep others comfortable? The privilege of public emotion allows people to create boundaries- not everyone gets that. If you have the luxury of emotions at work, online and in life- know that it is a fight to get us all there.

It is a battle to have everyone recognized as human. It is a battle to not be demonized for feeling our feelings. Psychological safety is the key to success, one day companies will realize that it pays to view their people as humans and not numbers.

I wrote so much of this last night, and woke up to threats of her suing me for sharing her messages. So let this be a reminder- slander is not screenshots or proof of how you treat people from marginalized communities.

WW are so quick to throw legal actions/ police at Black women when they are called out rather than examining their behavior.

This response risks our lives. Do better.

If your first response to reading all of this makes you uncomfortable, good- that's why we're here. Hold on to those uncomfortable feelings and call yourself in and examine why you feel uncomfortable. I challenge you to examine how you uphold the very same systems that aim to cause harm to so many.

If you take anything away from this newsletter, let it be to listen to marginalized communities in times of grief- it is okay to shut up and listen even when you don't understand their grief, their emotions or how to respond.

To the Queer community, we deserve safety and we deserve protection, we deserve to experience unbridled public joy. We deserve to dance the night away holding the hands of our friends, our partners, our crush. We deserve to be surrounded in community without memorizing every exit sign. We deserve to survive. We deserve to live, and I mean really live.

We deserve to experience life through the lens of love instead of fear.

You deserve love.

You deserve safety.

You deserve joy.

We will keep fighting.

Reading List:

• Git Cute Newsletter - Jocelyn Harper (seriously, if you are looking for a GOOD tech centered newsletter- this is the one)
• I'm Not Yelling: A Black Woman's Guide to Navigating the Workplace - Elizabeth Leiba
• White Women: Everything You Already Know About Your Own Racism and How to Do Better - Saira Rao + Regina Jackson
• DEI Deconstructed - Lily Zheng
• Layoffs at Twitter, Meta and Amazon: What Their Employees Are Saying - Living Corporate

Newest Media:

• The Rise of Millionaire Linkedin Influencer- Vice
• A Parallel System: Ending the Cycle of Abuse- Rolling Stone
• 14 Business Leaders Share Their Abortion Stories - Fortune (this one includes some of my favorite people like Erin Gallagher and anne bono 🏳️ 🌈🏳️ ⚧️🗣

How to Support Me:

• As twitter may come to an end, make sure to follow my other socials! Tiktok, Personal Instagram, Business Instagram
• Subscribe to my Patreon. Tiers include book club, 1x1 coaching, updates on appearances and media.
• Hit the bell on my profile to stay updated with my content and the Black Speakers Collection. We have a weekly audio live called the Clap Back that features Black speakers every week!
• I'm still shopping for a publisher who understands Black voices deserve to exist without centering white comfort, so if you know someone that I should know- I am open to introductions.

Black Speakers Collection:

Featured Speaker: Dr. Jen Fry, PhD (she/her)

Dr. Jen Fry, PhD (she/her) is Sports Geographer, tech founder, and sought-after speaker and educator. She owns JenFryTalks, a social justice education firm that uses conversation to educate and empower through an antiracist lens on issues of race, inclusion, conflict, intersectionality, and equity. Jen facilitates conversation with small and large groups and organizations, leadership teams and departments, affinity groups, and many more. She advises on best practices that create more equitable organizations, communities, teams, where each person feels a sense of belonging.

Jen is a veteran volleyball coach with over 15 years of experience coaching at the collegiate level. She received her PhD in Sports Geography from Michigan State University (GO GREEN!) and is currently moving her group travel app, Coordle, to market. Coordle creates a seamless, inclusive travel experience by providing a central hub for you to manage all your group travel information and logistics.

Sponsor:

This week's newsletter is sponsored by my dear friend ☁️ Aerin Booth and their new course offering!

The internet & cloud computing contribute to 4% of the worlds global carbon emissions, twice that of the airline industry. And that’s expected to grow to 8% by 2030! We cannot just continue down a path of unsustainable growth that’s main purpose is to make cloud companies richer. Tech is already unfair and unequal to those that aren’t cis white and het;

Imagine what the world will look like if we continue down this path where more and more businesses are wholly reliant on unaccountable cloud companies.

They are focused on empowering others to advocate for more sustainable business practices and to do so, they have recently set up a podcast focused on Cloud Sustainability, Public Cloud for Public Good, and will be launching a cohort-based course on Maven for those who want to learn more. “Learn the Cloud Sustainably: An introduction to Cloud Sustainability & GreenOps.

All Love, Light and Accountability,

Madi B. 🦄