The Daily Mauling: 9.6.2024

Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You might remember me from such public service videos as Designated Drivers— The Life-Saving Nerds and Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness.

The Daily Mauling: 9.5.2024

Ohh. I like it better when they’re making fun of people who aren’t me

The Daily Mauling: 9.4.2024

For the love of God, sir! There are two seats! I like to put my feet up.

The Daily Mauling: 9.3.2024

Good morning, ma’am. Good afternoon, sir. It passed noon while I was speaking, so that was technically accurate. He’s crazy.

The Weekend Mauling: 8.31.2024

So long, Lisa! If anything goes wrong, just dial 911 - unless it’s an emergency. Okay, Chief! Enjoy Bob Saget! It’s Bob Seger. Aw, crap!

The Daily Mauling: 8.30.2024

After an exhaustive search, Springfield has found its monorail conductor— Homer Simpson.

Kansas Mauls Lindenwood, 48-3

Good one to shake off the dust

Lindenwood at Kansas: Open Game Thread

Rock Chalk!

How to Watch: Lindenwood at Kansas

Kick off time, TV, radio, and more for today’s game

KU Football Preview: Lindenwood

We’re excited about football season! As Kansas fans!

The Game Day Mauling: 8.29.2024

Look at that. You can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.

The Daily Mauling: 8.28.2024

Will you knock it off! I can’t hear myself think. I want some peanuts. That’s better.

Here’s how KU wins the CFP

Move over folks, there’s a new sheriff in town.

KU Football Releases Week 1 Depth Chart

where are the ORs?

HOLY SHIT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!!!

The Daily Mauling: 8.26.2024

Homer, I owe you one, buddy. No sooner had I shaved off the old cookie duster than a lady cast me in a commercial. I tell ya’ the way these checks keep coming in— it’s almost criminal. You dirty bast...!

The Weekend Mauling: 8.24.2024

What should I do? Tell me quick. No need to panic. There’s a map to the hospital on the back of the menu.

The Daily Mauling: 8.23.2024

You know that feeling you get... when a thousand knives of fire are stabbing you in the heart? I got that right now. Ooh! Bacon!

The Daily Mauling: 8.22.2024

Whoop-dee-do, employees. Everyone who’s found true love may leave early today.

The Daily Mauling: 8.21.2024

Ah, yes. Simpson. I’ll have my lunch now. A single pillow of shredded wheat... some steamed toast and a dodo egg. But I think the dodo went extinct- Get going!

The Daily Mauling: 8.20.2024

It’s no use. I’m never gonna find that tree. This whole raid was as useless as that yellow, lemon-shaped rock over there. Wait a minute. There’s a lemon behind that rock! The tree!

The Daily Mauling: 8.19.2024

Hmm, I don’t agree with his Bart-killing policy. But I do approve of his Selma-killing policy.

The Weekend Mauling: 8.17.2024

How do you sleep at night? On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.

The Daily Mauling: 8.16.2024

Abe, you coming? Any stairs? Just one. Nuts to you!

The Daily Mauling: 8.15.2024

Down here at Springfield Mall, a storm-addled crowd appears to have turned its rage on the Leftorium. Surprisingly, people are grabbing things with both hands, suggesting it’s not just southpaws in this rampaging mob.

The Daily Mauling: 8.14.2024

Isn’t it amazing, the same day you got a pool is the same day we realized we liked you?

The Daily Mauling: 8.13.2024

Down here at Springfield Mall, a storm-addled crowd appears to have turned its rage on the Leftorium. Surprisingly, people are grabbing things with both hands, suggesting it’s not just southpaws in this rampaging mob.

The Daily Mauling: 8.12.2024

This was originally a Halloween costume but it found its way into my regular rotation.

The Daily Mauling: 8.9.2024

Homie, you’re good at lots of things. Like what? Like snuggling. Yeah, but none of my friends can watch me.

The Daily Mauling: 8.8.2024

Attention please. I need a volunteer for a thankless chore. Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson’s? Thank you, Lisa.