Evelyn Underhill - The Grey World
Evelyn Underhill - The Grey World
t i
!If|
know
of
liberty both of
exercise the
Vegetable Uni-
we
shall
live in
William Blake.
'
tellers of tales,
for,
and
seize
and have no
is true,
Everything
is
exists,
little
everything
and
'
the earth
only a
feet.
W.
B. Yeats.
EVELYN UNDERHILL
LONDON
WILLIAM HEINEMANN
1904
This Edition enjoys copyright in ait countries signatory to the Berne Treaty, and is not to be imported
into the
TO
ALICE HERBERT
A SMALL ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF A GREAT DEBT
http://www.archive.org/details/greyworldOOunde
CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I.
PAGE
II.
THE EXILE
7
1
III.
IV.
WAYFARER
IS
BEWILDERED
-
32
V.
A DOWN-HILL STRETCH
VI.
VII. VIII.
"45 "54
-
64 80
IX.
"95
-
X.
ROAD-MAKING
III
XI.
XII. XIII.
A BREEZY UPLAND
121
133
146 159
J
XIV.
XV. A
WAYSIDE SHRINE
PATHS
"
XVI. DIFFICULT
XVII.
XVIII.
A SHARP CORNER
INCIPIT VITA
....
-
75
88 gg
NOVA
2IO
vii
viii
CONTENTS
PAGE
CHAPTER
XIX.
-222
XX.
THE RIVER
-239
-
CROSS-ROADS
----LEND A HAND
-
249
266
278
293
XXIV.
XXV. COMMENTARIES-
...
-
309
CHAPTER
Death
snatches us
child
As a cross nurse might do a wayward From all our toys and baubles.' Old Play.
children's hospital
It
is
one
may
not easily
find a better.
is
The Author of the Human Comedy, one not pay much attention to our exits and our entrances. They seldom strike the imagidecease.
fancies, did
nation
yet,
the play.
On October
boy lay
Infirmary,
in
the
Ward
of
S.
Nicholas'
a
dying
He was
crumpled-up
bit of slum-reared
;
humanity, a sharp
mind
set in a starved
2
interested
in
own
its
sensations,
he found
the
proceeding
ness
of
infinitely
tiresome.
the place,
uncomfortable cleanliness,
and a certain martinet method of kindness, were not pleasing to a taste that had been formed amidst the homely squalor of Notting Dale. Being too weak to make noises for himself, he would have liked someone else to take on this agreeable duty but that never happened, and the silence and good
;
all
the pains
be
found
even
in
this
desert
of
f^gienic
decorum.
they
his
They were
called
visiting
days,
and
happened twice a week. At these times mother came to see him, bringing with her local perfumes and phrases which roused his dormant nostalgia to the pitch of acute desire. Her homely figure, formed of misplaced curves,
of her hat,
cheered
the
nurses,
gravitated
or sister
was with
beloved dialect of
Sometimes a sticky brother and spoke to him in the home, infinitely refreshing to the
her,
official
Jimmy Rogers 'as bin 'ad up agin,' his mother would say, or, Yer pa came 'ome tight larst night, Low brute !' and I 'it 'im. The child nodded approvingly, as well as his weak'
In the hospital
no one was ever had up, or came home tight, and this extreme respectability depressed him. Some
temperaments can never be reconciled to a passive world, however virtuous its repose.
boredom, and have commenced a normal and satisfactory convalescence, his mother yielded to a maternal impulse, and involuntarily set going
after
But
some weeks
of luxurious
to
The
special
bun,
secretly
administered
in
response
to
his
The
results
were
These are a
experience.
constant
feature
of
hospital
But
in
this case, for some obscure composed not merely the finale
comedy, but rather the curtain-raiser of a drama of more than fashionable length. What
the apple eaten in the garden was to Eve, that
who gulped
it
down under
between
but
it
;
To
feel it
his teeth
was a wholly
satisfying
delight
was
from a
which funerals
the idea of
to him, and not disturbing. was an ornamental and not always unfortunate incident which happened to the neighbours now and then. But his own extinction, his sudden departure familiar
was
from surroundings so
all
real, solid,
and inimical to
matter.
it
different
He
was
found
utterly
incredible,
even whilst
taking place.
He was
old, and his natural wits had already been dimmed by the beginnings of a Board School education. His scepticism was foolish and unreasoning, but
he shared
it
with
many
That was
a.
truthful
many
own.
He was
of his gradual
withdrawal from
life.
He
felt
pleased
when the professional annoyance of the nurses became tempered with pity at the sight of his growing weakness. Then came an hour of wild
struggles to retain consciousness of
all
that went
felt
become the primary A sense of hopeless battle and fact of existence. slow fatality sapped his courage. He was fighting He hard, but he knew that he should not win.
had suddenly and
silently
only
and he clung
knowledge of
if
its
cunning, as
him
to
life.
Klein
street-boys
of
ten
are
now
state on the verge of which he choked and trembled and whilst the rest of the ward grew dim and wavering, he lay staring with determination at the brass knob until its swollen and It grew shining form was burnt on to his brain.
unknown
very
difficult to
much. People were round him, touching him and doing things, but he hardly noticed them. The sense of touch had gone to
not mind that
sleep
already
but in
the
still
midst of a creeping
ears.
little
No
I call it,'
answered the
over
the
:
nurse
indignant
and another toneless echo It was hopeless from the first, of course.' The brass knob was getting very hazy it seemed to float uncertainly in the air. If only it would
catastrophe
'
replied
not go away
He knew
knob he was
in a
it
and he were
their own.
alive together
all
and struggling with his fancies amongst people who could not help, or enter in, or understand. He wanted to ask one of them to catch his knob for him before it was lost, but words had gone from him long ago. Then he saw
that
it
was very
all,
and shining
brightly.
seemed to smile at him, and though a thousand bells were ringing in his ears, he made an effort and
It
smiled too.
He
it.
CHAPTER
THE EXILE
'
II
The
;
soul,
when
it
far
for
there
is
heaven and
hell.'
Jacob Behmer.
A little ghost
all
colour had
been withdrawn.
it is
He
probable that he
would have thought himself there. So new and uncanny was the aspect of things that it was some
time before he realized
to
him
after
all.
how very little had happened He was still in the hospital ward
amongst the old surroundings, but he perceived them now with the vagueness of assent that we
accord to suggestions, not with the assured grasp
that one reserves for indubitable facts.
slipped into a
He had
the
world
in
Yet
it
of shadows,
think,
is
always un-
comfortable unless
spirit
human
its
own
Consciousness seemed
now
to be
thrust
upon
this
Cockney
beanfeast
could
not
this
He was one
of
those
brisk,
sharp-witted
is an and whose world of joy and sorrow is bounded at either end by the Crystal Palace and
Now, without understanding he was summarily divorced from the lean and active body which had
the
police
courts.
the
how
oder
why
all
of the matter,
interpreted
his
pleasures,
spirit to
whom
the material
other invisible
that
it
more actual than the air and gases are to living men. He knew
but
it
was
there,
much
in the
scheme
of things.
not dominate
the landscape.
to the dimness
and the nurses standing round it. He knew that it was going to be taken away to the mortuary, as had happened to other children who had died He felt horribly miserable whilst he was there.
THE EXILE
then, lost
and
chilly
and he
tried to get
back to
it,
Then he
tried to
of
it.
But
it
into prominence.
his
When
own
cry, he
suddenly realized
how very
quiet
now,
The earthly ear had gone the way of the earthly eye and the pleasant noises, as well as the colour of life, had left him. The prospect was very dreary, but he was not disheartened yet. His spirit, after all, was only the essence of his boyhood he had taken nothing into death but those qualities which he had managed to elaborate during his little life. So it was that his natural endowment of irreverence and curiosity remained unimpaired and these spurred him to exploration, and encouraged him with cheerful thoughts. He had heard many ghost stories, some
;
and none without a certain fearful joy and now he perceived, with a sudden shock of excitement, that he too had become a ghost. Visions of haunted alleys, of carefully planned practical jokes which should make the
exceedingly horrid,
:
to
him
io
and he
himself a career as
of
illicit
delight as
any and
to set about
all
it.
were
and fro, unable Almost unconsciously he drifted out of the hospital, and got entangled in and amongst a whole network of houses, endless walls dividing up neat rooms all much the same, like mazes built out of mist. Nothing stopped his progress, for all the things that he was accustomed to call hard had lost their hardness and resistance, and he passed through them as easily as a bird might pass through clouds upon the hills. Often there were people in the rooms, and by fixing his attention very hard he found out that they were talking or eating or working, all in the same heavy
;
weak
to settle
upon anything.
silence.
them even,
it all.
there was a
He seemed
.
dim pictures of unfamiliar things As for haunting, if he was not doing it now, what was he doing ? Yet no one noticed his
presence
;
though
he
blundered
through
shut
doors they did not creak for him, and dogs lying
of the
new-made
ghost, especially
THE EXILE
that has depended wholly on the
is
ii
body
exists.
any maker
who
and
foreign city.
An
existence
it.
He wanders
is
about,
him
or to his desires
felt
nothing
needs him.
So
this
dead child
little
as he drifted
fires
homes, past
warm
yet to
who
did
whom
he longed to
talk, just
He had
of his
own
cry,
him more
and he tried once and knock their soldiers down, before he remembered that it was useless.
;
And
fled
it
was with a
and jam for tea. It was not until this desultory wandering had lasted for some time that a knowledge came to him
12
At first he had been too dazed to do more than hang desperately on to the last fringes of life. He was no philosopher, and his discovery of the unsubstantial nature of material things had thoroughly bewildered him. He had the undeveloped
but
eminently
cock-sure
revolted
walls,
spirit
of
the
Cockney
signposts
child,
and
it
of
reality
as
furniture,
he could pass without hitting himself, and against which his most determined push accomplished
nothing.
He
flagrantly impossible,
and
settled
down
at last on
He
left off
roundings,
and
relaxed
the
strain
of
attention
re-
which had kept him aware of the last faint mainders of his old world. It went from him
a cloud
place.
;
like
and as
it
went, a
new
sense
came
in its
He knew, suddenly and quite distinctly, that he was not alone. The horrible silence was gone, and he heard vaguely at first, and then with overpowering insistence a crying and twittering, restless and very sad. In later days, the sound of seabirds crying amongst solitary rocks on the edge
where
the
land joins
the
sea
always reminded
life
him
of that crying
and
THE EXILE
death
:
13
much
in
he was in a crowd of other They passed by him in great companies, pushing, moving in an endless stream he heard the rustling sound of their movement as a sort of undercurrent to their queer, unhappy cries. They were in and through the intangible
realized that
common. Then he
country of
it
life,
at
all.
He thought
and that
little, first
notice him,
his loneliness
was over
but
as he drifted a
made
by
circling processions,
and was
jostled
by imma-
terial
amongst the
dead.
that
He came
these
were
yet
the
souls
of
grown-up people,
associate
probably
toffs,
who
would
kids,
not
with
common
hospitals
kids
many
he reflected, died in
and elsewhere, and their souls must be somewhere about. It was probable that they would be companionable, or at any rate would not show and he the same lordly indifference to his presence set out with renewed cheerfulness to hunt for them.
;
Then it was that he discovered that this moving mass of spirits was hunting too wearily searching for company, interests, something that had been
;
made
necessary to them in
life,
now summarily
14
taken away.
they
made
the
the streams,
direction in which
more upness or downness for him, no boundary, and no horizon point to make for and they travelled
:
between other
his loneliness,
his
lines
of searchers,
each crying in
all
Democratic
lessness.
Association,
by
common
rest-
He
began, too, to
feel
something
of the
reasons that
moved
and he read deeper and deeper into the unhappy minds that were travelling beside him. The first discovery that he made was that his soul was curiously in harmony with the general point of view. He had despised himself because he was only a
child,
THE EXILE
They were
keenly as
regretting Earth
;
15
its
and
pleasures as
and jam, but other things which were now equally wanting All their interests were there apparin substance.
not, perhaps, its bread
he was
ently
in
;
money,
all
life.
friends,
games, ambitions,
dis-
coveries
fulness
make up
the
of
Now
was seen
this
life
reluctantly left
shadow,
tive
;
all its
still
beauty gone,
else
decepit.
but
desire for
all to
them, and
of
to
it,
had cared
once and
now could
scarcely recognise.
The
dreary
child,
paupers used to
the workhouse.
mind with the stories that old on Sunday afternoons about He, then, was a spiritual pauper,
tell
had often described to him, and unable to enjoy the strange changed earth that he was tied to. He looked back now with longing to the hospital ward that he had found so monotonous and chilly.
Its little incidents
were
full of
the delicious
homely
16
and the slow noise of London used to windows, and remind him of the great world where existence had been quick and busy, prone to those sudden variations of luck which leave no room for boredom. Now London was dead and silent, and he alive in the empty
savour of
come
twilight.
still
in her streets
and he
saw that he was in the great broad road which ran westward to Uxbridge, and passed close to his home. A silent, ghostlike traffic filled it carriages and omnibuses, big waggons, and the tradesmen's carts that he had loved to run behind. He saw them through the veil of rushing spirits, trotting It seemed past him in two placid streams.
:
all this
inexpenin
amusement and
at that
get
absolutely
nothing
exchange.
And
flew
moment
man on
;
a high bicycle
him down the ghostly hill. He was leaning back in a lordly manner he had put his With that agreeable vision all his old feet up. it had never instincts returned to him violently been his custom to let bicycles go by without a
past
:
greeting,
and he started
in
pursuit,
and
tried,
mouth
in his
to
give
The
was the
last
drop
cup
THE EXILE
of
17
misery
him
drove him
to
with loathing; and he flung out the whole force of his poor little spirit in a prayer
for a return, at
mad
some Force which he dreaded but knew not, any price, to the excitements and
life.
uncertainties of
CHAPTER
III
C'etait
C'e'tait
un petit etre si tranquille, si timide et si silencieux. un pauvre petit etre myste'rieux, comme tout le monde.'
.
Maeterlinck.
The
into
him back and he next looked out on the world from the barred windows of a fourth-floor nursery, set in a wide brown street of reputable gloom. It must be allowed that he had improved his position. The atmosphere of this new home was English and domestic conventional therefore. Its tidy boundaries were rigid, but set in a smiling curve. It was permeated by a cheerful fuss. Its mistress was a Martha who did not allow herself to be troubled by the fact that her sister Mary an indifferent wife and a wretched manager had drifted into another The family existence rippled through a life of set. happy half-tones, carefully shaded from the agitating sunlight of truth. It drew up its blinds suffistucco of a western suburb received
;
life
or so of lace-edged propriety
19
make
it
had thrown the back amongst the living but the niche thus hastily found for him was not, perhaps, well chosen.
force of one strenuous wish
;
The
child
new family suited one another but indifferently. They were of a class which is always trivially active he came to them overshadowed by an inconceivable past, queer and dreamy
his
:
He and
mother attributed to an imperfect Health loomed large in the assets of digestion. the Hopkinson family, and it was Mrs. Hopkinson
fact
which
his
who kept
healthy
:
the
individual dividend.
very
marked
divergence
from the family type cried for some explanation. His legs were not fat enough, nor his hair thick
enough, to please the parental eye
disease
and genius or seemed the only plausible hypotheses. He soon took up his normal position in the house;
hold
that
; ;
of
who
him
the
a constant
father
otherwise
It
transparent
pity,
outlook
of
his
sister
Pauline.
was a
had so arranged themselves. Mr. Hopkinson could have cherished an invalid daughter he only deand Pauline, who would have spised a sickly son
;
:
20
weak
towards
self-assertion
in
her
own
excess of vitality.
class, a
She was a normally wholesome child of the middle girl of whom any healthy-minded parent
might be proud. Born a Materialist, her High School itself chiefly with the creathose
angles which
smooth away.
rather unelastic
more than one point and the one which she selected placed her brother Willie in a light which was vivid enough,
but scarcely sympathetic or explanatory.
into a puzzled
realities
which present
were
but
memory
of a confused
took upon herself the character of a well-meaning bogey. She was at once alarming, overpowering*
and
affectionate.
It is difficult for a
if
healthy animal
and an immortal,
undeveloped,
;
spirit to inhabit
Her
attitude
was
so uncertain.
He
acquired, and
never entirely
lost,
up
at her
quickly whenever he
made
a remark, because he
it.
environment
only
is
a necessity of
happy
It is
when we
21
and Pauline's
many shocks, and some hours of troubled meditation. He was a trustful little boy, naturally candid.
Silence frightened him,
to converse with the whole world if he might. It was some time before he found out that his robust sister was not exactly the person to whom he might best confide his dreams and bewilderments or the
;
and wondered where he was, and if he were and if he were really a little boy as everybody
seemed to think, or only some sort of tiny insect. He sometimes had the feeling that he did not belong to the home-life at all that he was outside of it, looking on at it, and that all the things which seemed to be happening were not happening really.
;
but
it
con-
no idea that the domain of his pains and pleasures was different from that of the average child for there was no
as yet
;
He had
one to
whom
sensible
family
conscience
only
too
towards fancies,
tions.
Her
brisk,
What
nonsense, Willie
Don't
felt,
be such a
silly little
boy,'
was always
to be
22
like a
Greek chorus, the spectator's comment on his comedy of life. Not till he was about eleven years old. and, as Mrs. Hopkinson was fond of saying, Just a little anaemic, like so many London boys,' did the full weight of Pauline's temperament begin to make itself felt. Willie had brought back with him into life a keen and uncomfortable realization of the Grey World of the dead on which he had once been cast, and of its restless populations. As he grew older, and evolved his own plan of the world out of the uncertain country full of strange shapes and noises where a baby dwells, he was apt to have
'
sudden returns to the knowledge of that dimension vivid and uncontrollable visions in which he saw
:
shadowy
soul
his
of the souls on
may have
when he made
all
the
urban
to be in
it
him that they were not shared by the rest of the family. He was so used to it all, it was so much a
part of normal experience, that no doubt or question ever entered his head.
talked to
23
and chairs or the actuality of once heard anyone mention the things had of becoming suddenly unsubstantial and remote. This, however,
he put
many
He had already noticed that most of the curious and interesting things which happened every day
were never spoken of at
all,
or apparently noticed.
The
bit of
would fill itself with the loveliest cloud palaces, and knock them all down and replace them with little ships or snow mounfor
window,
tains
or flocks of sheep
all
very remarkable to
mystery as
his.
for
least interest in
such
When
a very
it
!'
'
Silly little
boy
and went back to the concoction of crinkled paper lamp-shades and tidies her favourite occupation. So the cloud - world and the ghost - world were classed together in his view of the universe as subjects which were not spoken of by well-mannered persons, and were too unimportant to be noticed by
24
old,
and
the romantic.
And
it
was
that he at last
barrier of etiquette,
and delivered up
his secret to
He had always
lonely,
it
it was was upsetting, it took the zest out of He would so much have liked daily amusements. to forget all about it. But as he was generally alone when its presence overcame him. and his English blood had given him a certain shame of his fright, he had managed to pass through these moments of panic unperceived and any unusual paleness or silence afterwards was laid to the account
of too
much
chocolate or too
little exercise.
by the nursery
happened
fire
before
the
lights
had been
His
suddenly
and
without
warning.
the walls of
and the vague spectre worlds away. He longed to hear her speak, even if it were only to snap at him but he was in another dimension, and
fire,
The him he was alone hurrying spirits, and saw the pale
it,
many
He
25
on these occasions, that he was dead, and all hope of respite over and at that and the shock of so
;
Willie
?'
in
shrill
and
distinctly nervous
The genuine appeal of her voice penetrated to the dim place where he wandered, and called him back to solid life again, a little breathless, and very grateful for such prompt deliverance.
'
How
!'
Miss Hopkinson,
eyes of
What
:
noise
?'
she
demanded
old,
sharply.
and
of
disliked being
ring
semiparental
authority.
But
'
Willie
of his ground,
and
Why,
!'
he said.
so surprised
by
his sister's
first
time in his
You
know,' he said.
'
dead
26
and
'
She stared.
Like when we were dead before we got alive
again,' he concluded lucidly.
manner now expressed cold disapprobaand also a certain ill-temper the natural reaction from her short attack of credulity. Willie,' she said severely, you are making things up and you know quite well that mother
Pauline's
tion,
'
'
doesn't allow
it.'
worldly
temper,
and
it
Master
he
Hopkinson's
up,'
said.
'
Why,
you
for
They're quite
real,
know they are just as real as we are. should I make up anything so nasty
here now,
all
What
?
They're
about us
never stop
still.'
with which
'
Be quiet
tell
!'
she cried.
'
And
don't
such wicked
stories, or I shall
go to mother
at once.'
But between his sister's extraordinary obtuseness and the undeniable truth of his own perceptions, Willie was now hopelessly confused and almost
hysterical.
He
felt
THE RETURN TO THE ROAD
and her
final threat,
27
He began
I
to
shall
shall
shall V he
Go and
!
tell-tale scratch-cat
She'll
;
know
shall tell
and I It's you that tell stories true. mother you were frightened 'cause I yelled!' Five minutes later Master and Miss Hopkinson
it's
where
their
mother
sat silky
and
It
was her At
Startseite
warm
and white-rose scent. Mrs. Hopkinson's most valued friend, the rich but homely Mrs. Steinmann, was sitting near the door. This lady had been badly translated from the
sealskin
German
in
early
life,
and
all
traces of Teutonic
For
her, life
the
domestic
interior.
This
its least
tempting
She
women who
and welcomed so congenial a reason for removing her attention from Mrs. Alcock and Mrs. Frere
superior persons
who
professed to
know nothing
of
the duties of
28
ing of politics.
their
of Mr.
remarks were merely an epitome of the opinions Alcock and Mr. Frere, both of whom obtained
!'
dogma direct from the Daily Telegraph. Why, here are the dear little ones she How big Pauline is getting And Willie Come and kiss me, my dears.' quite a man
their
'
said.
'
too
But the usually placid Pauline was shaken from her well-trained calm, and a strong sense of duty
impelled her, with Willie held firmly in her wake,
direct to her mother's chair.
'
Pauline
What
all
a dirty pinafore
!'
said
Mrs.
Hopkinson,
best tea-set.
'
Willie's
been
is full
He
;
of ghosts,
on the hearth-rug
awfullest scream
!'
and he saw them, but he was sitting and he gave the all the time
drawing-room.
children
There was a
Little
Mrs.
it
Alcock,
who
detested
but
show her appreciation of them by giggling whenever they spoke, began to laugh and somehow her empty laughter, coming so soon
thought
polite to
:
after his
Master
peep into the sorrowful place, outraged Hopkinson even more than his sister's
His puzzled
little
mind was
and
29
You won't
!'
he observed
be amused.
'
What
a very peculiar
boy
!'
The other
is
ladies
only tolerable
when
it
is
ridiculous,
and they
Several
air.
began to button their cloaks and get out their cardBut before they could say good-bye, the cases.
child,
first
'
who was
up
his
advantage and arrested the general attention. Isn't it silly, mother ?' he said. Pauline wants
'
to
in
make out
it,
or anything.
Why,
it
just like
do
And anyhow,
long.
when we were dead we were there for ever so At least, I was, and I hated it, because of being nothing to do. And now Pauline says
stories.'
there
I tell
The spectacle
in the
of a small
boy
in overalls standing
floor
and referring
world
is
and
to
Mrs. Hopkinson,
happen on her At
annoyed.
'
Startseite
days,
felt
awkward and
'
you've
30
haven't you,
and got frightened And she nodded to the explosive Pauline peremptory injunctions to hold her tongue. Oh no, mother,' answered Willie. The ghost stories are all wrong, you know, not a bit like the real thing and I wasn't at all frightened. Only I got in amongst them all of a sudden, and it is so horrible and I gave a yell, and then Pauline wouldn't believe I'd been there.' Pauline,' said Mrs. Hopkinson suddenly, what did Willie have for his tea ?' Well, he did have one bit of cake.' replied
'
'
'
'
'
Pauline.
The other
and nodded.
'
To
like,'
observed Mrs.
is
Steinmann,
assimilated.
never
my
be
'
grandchildren.
And
a nervous
by
this con-
genial
suggestion.
'
dear
that's what it is. Go upstairs with Pauline, and don't think any more about it. It's all imagination, you know.'
;
What
when
his
31
lions a
painful
Master Willie
knew that he
But
she
hurried
in his misery,
CHAPTER
A LITTLE WAYFARER
'
IV
IS
BEWILDERED
:
Dreams were
to
him
externals he accepted
George Moore.
painful to
The adventure
Willie's pride,
of the
At
but
it
things.
It
cretion which he
and
it
made him
It
was a long time before he lost the shadow which was cast by his painful efforts to review the situation and understand the intricacies of his experience but whilst this still puzzled him, he saw that any reticence must be good which saved him from misunderstanding and humiliation, and he
;
very deliberately.
moments
of mysticism,
when
and they wonder what they really are, puzzling over memory and consciousness and other things which elude their rudimentary language, but which they
32
A LITTLE WAYFARER
take
it
IS
BEWILDERED
know
all
33
about.
of
Master
Hopkinson,
always
acutely
conscious
two worlds equally near to him, pondered perhaps less on these things, because to him they were so In later and obvious, objectionable, and distinct.
more
articulate years he
was accustomed
to say,
came to his infancy trailing clouds which had no elements of glory. The phrase was accurate, and he did not find its literary associations disthat he
agreeable.
threads
of
his
sensuous
existence
;
were
but
spread
to
a strange
him profoundly natural, because it was the only one that he had ever known. But this sudden discovery that the rest of the family did not share his knowledge, live the same dual life, or frequent the
same dim country, startled and distressed him. He had taken it for granted that he was as all other little boys now it seemed clear that he had made a huge mistake. Instead of sharing with the others an experience as ordinary and inevitable as a cold in the head or a dose of powder, he was quite alone in his visits to the crowded country, and even in his memories of the time when he was one of its inhabitants. He had seen quite plainly that the Hopkin;
friends
Even
34
It
reason
else.
the
why he should be different from everybody He felt something of the helpless disgust of seasoned traveller who comes home to find his
;
oder
who
tries to
hostile grins of
At the same time, the human element in him was by its temerity, and struggled to assure him that grown-up people must know everything and the conviction grew that it was best to endure the slur on his veracity in silence, and only be careful in his own interests to steer clear
rather ashamed, and frightened
;
After
all,
if
for
quaintances inhabited one world only, did not know where they had come from, and never dreamed of troubling about it, it was not to be expected that on the testimony of one small boy they should believe in truths which were to them both imper-
and offensive. And the Grey World was so monstrous, so impossible unless one had been there, that often when he
ceptible
was
when
him-
it
it
That
all
the nice
flat
A LITTLE WAYFARER
of the local
IS
all
BEWILDERED
35
omnibus, and
:
and houses, and filled the air he breathed with melancholy ghosts this would have been quite ridiculous if it had not happened to be true. So he excused Mrs. Hopkinson and her and through the
streets
and, half in a
fit
of out-
avoid
all
references to his
experi-
them.
As the double
boy-pleasures, and
quiet
delights
;
life
made him
unpleasantly silent
little
boy.
Unseen on
with
it
remembrance of the At Home day episode gradually faded from the family mind. They said that he was a queer child, and hoped he was going to be clever and as Pauline outgrew the nursery, he was left a good deal to himself. He was certainly odd in his ways given to long
artificial life,
and
all
36
but fortu-
under that
He
King Arthur's knights, for a peculiar inarticulate joy that they gave him but when he tried to find
:
Though
soul
found
it
nourished
He
he could
not.
left
One day, he found a thin volume of verse, probably by some chance visitor Mr. Hopkin-
difficulty, the
;
reading of
he thought
opened,
it
dangerous
read,
This
book
Willie
and
amongst much
ing quatrain
'
:
We
moving row
Of Magic Shadow-shapes that come and go Round with the Sun-illumined Lantern held In Midnight by the Master of the Show
;
someone else who knows !' he thought and went away companioned and less He had a constant lonely for that knowledge. longing to fathom the depths of the gulf which
'
Then
there
is
A LITTLE WAYFARER
divided
IS
BEWILDERED
if
37
he
Sometimes he wondered if there were not other children in the same unhappy position but he dreaded being laughed at, and the small boys at his
;
The
ups
live
'
solid trust in
'
grown-
towards
in
To
the
persons
that
who
shadow and
assert
it is
the substance,
aggravating to an apostle
Mr. Hopkinson
was thought by his neighbours to be an alarmingly clever man modern science was his god, and Huxley the high-priest of his temple, but he had a way with heretics which savoured more of theology
:
than of reason.
Whilst Willie was
'
still
by popular
dream
lecturettes at
over,
and whose
Perhaps
beauties gave
it
him an
inexplicable delight.
was the ugliness of his calling Mr. Hopkinson was a wholesale tailor Hopkinson, Vowles and Co., of Bermondsey which developed his peculiar gift of seeing only the mechanical and ordinary in the universe, and reducing to formal hideousness the
;
38
loveliest manifestations of
But when he
dis-
own
and proved that the magical clouds which Willie worshipped were nothing but steam and dust, and then said informingly, Force and Matter again That's the Force and Matter whole bag of tricks, Willie my boy !' Master Hopkinson found the mingled results of his father's ignorance and authority very bewildering. He was disturbed, lonely and unhappy, and sometimes it even happened that he wished himself back in his old existence in Notting Dale, where life was always amusing and adventurous, and no one worried about turning pretty dreams into what he secretly looked upon as ugly lies. But he kept these criticisms to himself with the rest, and listened with a blank face which his father
inside,
' ' '
!
!
put
down
to
stupidity,
whilst
that
enthusiast
his wife
was out
theory
of
of
hearing,
took sideway
into
the
evolution.
own
it
Ruler thereof
ciency
and
struck
him
as
eminently
effi-
hands.
He
waited for Willie's remarks the sharp remarks beloved of the educational parent but they did
not come
Master Hopkinson dared not speak of the truth as he knew it, and this same knowledge
;
for
A LITTLE WAYFARER
point of view.
IS
BEWILDERED
39
very readily.
They taught
science
at
the High
it, which pleased him. Her and contentions were just sufficiently
own
replies.
tall,
;
thick-
ankled
brother
girl, all
still
but her
Whatever
it is
him
it
Not
standpoint.
But the
Goodness knows what will become of him when he gets into the City.' It was at this propitious period that Master Hopkinson chose, for the second time, to
lift
the veil
her disposal,
and
she was
specially
interested
in
4o
of the slums
their
and immuring them in an institution morals were edited to a positively Willie remembered well how the insulting extent. young inhabitants of Notting Dale had looked upon those societies, and he did not feel very interested in the sum total of subscriptions which she somewhere
times announced to Mr. Hopkinson over the breakfast-table.
'
Boy's
Own
and
'
Hints on Bird-
stuffing,' in
board.
commerce
was
sales
her duty, and incidentally the privilege of her committee, to undertake a bazaar.
;
The remnant
were about to begin she had the flair of the born She would buy scraps and oddbargain-hunter.
ments
offered
at
alarming
sacrifices,
confection
them
and garments
and
sell
them
idea,
to other philanthropic
The more
it.
The house was soon filled with the sound of sewingmachines and the smell of Aspinall's enamel and Fraud, decked with the aureole of Good Intentions,
;
became
its
tutelary saint.
A LITTLE
'
WAYFARER
;
IS
BEWILDERED
it.
41
Yes, dear
It
it
It will
do quite
will
well.
was only
three-three,
but no one
notice
'
No,
wouldn't line
it
with
silk
show.'
'
Oh,
is
What
a bother
You must
give
it
a longer skirt to
to
hand
for
in his
memory with
brown and
wear.
line
may
its
eternal
emblem in our consciousness. The bazaar and all its belongings, therefore, fussed Master Hopkinson, disturbed his dreamy existence
and
tried his nerves.
children should be
made
the poor, and he was never allowed to forget that the preparations for enslaving the free-born sons of
Having now arrived at a stage in which he remembered the days that he had spent amongst them as the only entirely happy
Notting Dale were going on.
42
ones he had ever known, he looked on as a rather morose cherub might have done whilst a party of elderly angels planned out Purgatory. This atti-
to be wholly evil.
little
;
Their
girls
little
but
Willie
tion.
Amongst
resistible
;
sidelong
censure
of
other
always dangerous, but seldom and probably his deliberate languors were very irritating. At last the strain broke. Aren't you very glad, Willie dear,' said Mrs. Steinmann to him suddenly, to think of those poor little boys being taken out of the streets and put
people's children
'
'
into a comfortable
home
?'
sit
well on small
growing exasperation.
'
No
I'm sorry
for them,' he
cried,
'
answered promptly.
dear Willie
!'
A
who
matronly chorus
affected not to
My
and
have heard her son's remark. Willie felt that he was placed on the defensive, and a wild longing to shock someone seized him. Longnourished rancours against local ideas overflowed,
all
his careful
vows
of
A LITTLE
'
WAYFARER
was a poor
jolly.
I
IS
BEWILDERED
'
43
When
It
little
boy,' he said,
liked
it.
was
more to do than there is here and fewer lessons, and I never heard ghosts. And you talk a lot about their drunken fathers, and all that but drunken fathers aren't so bad. I thought mine rather amusing. I used to help get him upstairs at night. Sometimes he was awfully funny Here Mrs. Steinmann's shiny dark eyes, trained to plumb the souls of her scullery-maids, began to have their effect on him. He stopped suddenly.
there
And
was
lots
'
It is
in the
wrong person. Willie now perceived that he had confided in a crowd of wrong persons. Someone said, How remarkable !' and someone else, He really must have quite a vivid imagination !' His mother dropped three pins from her mouth, but found no words to fill the vacancy and Master Hopkinson, with hot face and short breath, walked out of the room as quickly as he considered proper. This was Willie's last serious indiscretion and so useless and astonishing had been his fall that he never clearly understood how it came about. His wild words had left no sharp impression behind them but they revived unfortunate memories and prejudices amongst the Hopkinson set, and confirmed Some felt the belief that he was a difficult child.' bound to call him clever, but all preferred to think that he was untruthful.
'
'
'
44
but he
was surprised
in his ignorance
when
He
Good Works
mankind, and
A mild irony at the are not lightly to be smiled at. expense of her pet charity will turn the most loving woman against her children, but the first time that
happens the shock is rather severe. So Willie stood before his father feeling sick and shaky, whilst he italicized the most unpleasant asit
Master Hopkinson's soul, what he meant by it. which was so familiar with the real terrors, hated his body for this ridiculous fright. He had no words, but his father had plenty the acid reaction of his unappreciated lectures poisoned his discourse, and
burnt where
it fell.
fear he should be
Willie bit his tongue hard for tempted to speak the truth the
;
But he had learnt once for all the first rule of wisdom never to emerge from the veil which your
neighbour
is
accustomed to mistake
for yourself.
CHAPTER V
A DOWN-HILL STRETCH
1
Locke.
Mr. Hopkinsox, even when he was not actively annoyed by his son, felt him to be a blot upon his theory of family life and now, disguising an act of self-indulgence in the decent mantle of parental
:
away
these
to school.
to each other,
two
and
than
strangers, because
mutually repellent.
rid
of
the
British
having him
to a Norfolk village,
where
house-
large
little
meals,
and an
athletic
master
genial
left
Uncon-
if it is ever to be an bound to assert itself at the expense of the soul and in his case loneliness, long hours spent in vague dreamy attempts
He was
when
efficient vehicle of
mind,
45
46
above all, the to unravel the meaning of things heavy bewilderments of a spirit that lived alone with occult realities which sapped it of all joy had worn Nature was ready for her the body rather thin. School, to which he went as to a penirevenge. the place where tentiary, became his sanatorium
he
which had crushed him into savourless endurance, and found the sprightly illusions natural to his
and age. The change was sudden, drastic and the shock enhanced its value. At Hazefield both cricket and Latin prose were serious things but the soul was only mentioned on Sundays, and then in a purely official manner. The result was At the end of six months Willie to be foreseen. had hardened his muscles, enlarged his vocabulary,
race
The slow and steady action of environment had worn away all his own convictions, and the readymade beliefs which flourished around him slipped unnoticed into their place. He was still conscious of the shadow-side of the world, and liable to sudden
moments
noises, of earth.
of
its
horrid
and
But these moments seemed to him now the time had gone to be dreams and interludes by when he could accept them, with a faith which
;
He
'
A DOWN-HILL STRETCH
painful fervours of the past
;
47
there
was always a
mist between.
ashamed of his visions. Schooland boys despise what they do not understand shame (with the young) is a great inducement to
made him
rather
forgetfulness.
There followed a time when his attitude to these things was that of an Evangelical clergyman who
has inadvertently read the
'
would
like to forget
it.
He knew
was untenable for him life was false the amazing, and as they would say
;
hand.
to think about
in.
it
was unpleasant,
He
field
and became sedulous in the cricket and wholesomely casual in class. On the day when Master Hopkinson learnt the Psalm of Life as an imposition, and repeated with smiling sinperceptions,
' '
cerity
and unconcern,
1
Leben
is
real
Life
is
is
earnest
its
And
the grave
not
goal
Education was
for granted, to
work.
To take everything
grasp fringes and avoid fundamentals, to think only of the obvious, and to refuse to consider the unimportant incident called Death these arts, in which
48
At home during the holidays, his large appetite and slangy speech pleased his parents, astonished their acquaintances, and made Pauline jealous. He rotted her and her friends in the most correct
'
'
manner, was ostentatiously noisy, deliberately tyrannical, and generally displayed all the tiresomeness of the healthy male. Everyone remarked and even Mr. Hopkinson on the improvement became comparatively genial, and began to hope that his son might be good for something after all. I always knew it was his health that made him
; '
'
Poorness of the
to
;
blood
that's
him
what
put
it
down
and the
Mrs. Steinmann, to
offered,
whom
in
agreed, though
rather
an ungracious
manner.
'
Willie
wanted a
bit of school-life to
knock the
she said.
'
Tristram was
;
same
moody
often thought,
'
she added,
that you
go his own
way
A DOWN-HILL STRETCH
;
49
too much but of course one doesn't like to interfere. And really, considering his curious disposition, I'm
of her neighbours
was a
;
per-
she
to punish
them
own
commonsense.
comfortable
her
which overand which she mistook Disappointment had embittered bosom, and too often lent an congratulations. She had found mother of Tristram and Geraint, than her principles had led her
character,
to expect.
This lady,
the
whom
contemptuous
from her parent a shining black fringe, a sallow complexion, but few domestic virtues. She came
to
maturity
during
the
Browning
in
all
period,
and
of
though
carefully
trained
the
ritual
remember
which was the right day to have the drawing-room turned out. Her marriage, which took place at
the earliest possible
to her as a rupture
Mr. Levi
own
unfortunately
50
and
of romantic
was her painful fate to see her sons, in spite names and picturesque dresses, become more uncompromisingly Hebraic day by day. Their long necks, restless black eyes, and ferret-like expressions, offended an aesthetic sense v/hich was nourished on Raphael and Sir Joshua Reynolds. She was best pleased when they were least in evidence, and invariably affected a refined ignorance
of the less lovely details of their toilets.
It
at
once
expert
and
amateur
homely directness, and took all that concerned them into her own hands. Henceforth she saw that they had their hair cut regularly, and took them She was happier, to the dentist every six months. and they were healthier, for the change and they gave her, what she had lacked before, a criterion by which to disparage other people's children. The little Levis, therefore, were looked upon in
;
and was only successful concealing her idolatrous state from the unsusGeraint Levi,
was detested by Mrs. Hopkinson for a habit he had of making love to Pauline, two years his senior.
A DOWN-HILL STRETCH
Tristram's
air of
51
;
manners were
less
characteristic
his
and only a respect for Mrs. Steinmann's diamonds and knowledge of cookery bridled Mrs.
;
Hopkinson's
Willie was such an imaginative child,' she said. Always fancying things, and using his brain. He reminds me of my. father, who would have written something, I'm sure, if he'd had the time, but he was always so much occupied in the er with commerce. Mr. Hopkinson thinks that what Willie really requires is balance, and we are going to put him on the modern side next term. A sound
'
scientific
training,
that
is
be so useful in
and
Hopkinson went to the modern side, All his old poetic fancies its work well. and love of the beautiful were eradicated, and a taste for things strange and ingenious took their place. At this period all that tickled his curiosity and gave interest to the concrete appealed to him strongly he took in magazines which had a corner for curiosities,' and became keen on acrostics.
Master
it
did
'
42
52
The wonderful
for the
message of
horrid memories of
and quiet planes had nothing to say to him the clouds was bound up with the visions of infancy, and he
;
of his childhood.
He
grew up to be a thin, freckled youth, mediocre in moderately talent, manners, and physical powers
:
liked
indifferent to
make any
class,-
great friends.
He
His masters,
who saw
was inevitably
fall
so.
In spite of deli-
berate efforts to
1
mix in.' At seventeen, it seemed that Willie had no decided bent in any direction, and Mr. Hopkinson formed
the idea of removing this promising material to
his office as soon as possible.
He wished
that the
contact with a wider world had the chance of causing some inconvenient bias.
for the
no room
in the wholesale
tailoring trade.
To the ideal spectator, that unemotional angel who criticises the wanderings of man, this may
well
Here was
an immortal
spirit,
and knowing
A DOWN-HTLL STRETCH
himself so to be
53
aware
of that place
whence he
refusing
his
future
fate
steadily
life.
He had
whom
he
their
He
;
liked
silly
jokes
and comic
a chorus
of
comradeship that
moment
that he
years of loneliness
to get rid of all
He was redeeming his and with them did his best that distinguished him from the
wholesome young fellows who pass from school to commerce with little diminution of spirits or assumption of responsibility. Many pass through this evolution, though few, perhaps, commence where he did. An accident
checked the process as
it
reached
its final
position
in
CHAPTER
VI
These things I do, These other things I see, Shape not for me Aught that I dare name true. Rather they seem to be
Hard
I
and pain,
must again
Undo/
Laurence Housman.
When
His childhood,
sickly, had contrived to withstand bodily and it was years since he had known an illness. The psychological side of ill-health, at all events, was new to him and as he sickened it astonished him to perceive how he withdrew into himself,
though
stress,
and watched with timid curiosity the proportions He wondered of his environment gradually change. dreamily what was the matter, and swung between interest and dismay till at last the meaning of the thing was obvious, and he was declared to be ill.
54
55
sanatorium to himself.
he
now
as
much
as
had once
disliked
it
and row of iron beds, looking in their stripped and pillowless state like the skeletons of some nightmare quadruped, were not exactly cheering. Yet curiously enough they did not give him the desolate shock that he looked for they
walls, bare boards,
;
if
it
of
He lay and looked at them, and wondered what they reminded him. Above all, the faint
of
scent
carbolic
acid
stirred
vague memory
which he could not catch. He was interested, puzzled. As yet, you see, he was not very ill, but was quite equal to a certain amount of hazy meditation.
was a change, and he enjoyed it. But the surprises of circumstance were not over.
It
may
all,
in fact,
but
faces
He found
of
that he
;
knew
in
advance
all
all
the ritual
relations,
sickness
the
change of
human
even the forbidding automatonism which a nurse It was brings with her, did not astonish him. and he evident that he had been there before
;
56
and very
forlorn, filled
sick, did
he find
what he had been looking for. It was a discovery which amazed, but failed to please him. He disturbed from a sleep which had lasted for several years the distasteful and unwelcome memory of his old existences, reminding him with a shock that he was not as other boys. He had hidden them deep in that corner of his mind which we all keep for humiliating incidents, old religions, and ideals too spotless to be lived with a corner we seldom traverse, and then with light footsteps, for fear of
:
What he
of his consciousness
indelible, of the
Nicholas Inyet a
firmary
real child,
which
his
home.
He
it
lived
difficult
memory from
reality,
still
in
that he was not any longer that child of the slums, that
all his
that
illness.
is
Time
is
run
series,
It
all
puzzled
him
57
and groped for the landmarks and boundaries denied him by a Destiny which he now felt to be both imminent and awful. But the Past which he had despised and neglected
was waiting with a crueller revenge. When the fever reached an acute stage, and he was seriously ill, another and more disagreeable side of the subject was presented to Willie's mind. It occurred to him that* for the second time within his memory, he was very near indeed to the point of death. For the last five or six years he had lived the god-like life of the average man, whose imagination assures him that he is immortal, although his reason Now Death became a tells him that he is not.
fact,
fact.
Its
nearness
annihilated the pretty draperies with which education conceals the ugly bogeys of
mankind, and he
it
saw
It
it
meant more
might do to
others.
He
meant a
return, perhaps a
permaan
;
experimental
re-entry
into
life.
Either
alternative
was unpleasant.
and advenlife
and he
felt
58
were tolerable.
be punctuated with
commas
He looked in vision on to a bright and varied world, world full of energy and surprises and Boy's Own
It is true that so far
life,
Paper pageantry.
seen
he had not
at
much
of this aspect of
any moment.
Death offered no such allurements. There followed on this hour of awakening a period when he was no longer capable of thought when he battled with death, and shook the nerves of his nurses by his cries, his terrors, his entreaties. Time after time he felt as a stifling weight the perception of the shadow-land time after time lost his grasp of solidity, slipped from the noises of earth, and heard the call of the spirits who were drawing him back to their ranks. For days he hung doubtful on the borders, and proclaimed his agony of soul. They said that he was delirious, but it is more probable that he was intoxicated with
:
fright.
When
knew
left
him, and he
had retreated to its normal place, Willie lay limp on his bed in an ecstasy of thankfulness his poor frame as greatly shaken by the returning flood of He life as it had been by the violence of its ebb. was too weak for coherent thought at first he was satisfied to rest in a sense of safety and wellbeing and the sharpest memories of his ordeal
59
off during this somnolence. So that at last, some three weeks after the crisis, he woke to a detached and placid consideration of events. It must not be held a reproach to Master Hop-
kinson that he
felt
himself to be at this
moment
own universe. Could others have him as he really was, they must, had they been by temperament philosophers, have held him more than usually qualified for the position. The
the centre of his
seen
invalid
is
;
and only those who vainly desired such consolation for themselves could have grudged him his silent self-importance. The scarlet fever convalescent has ample opportunity for thought and this exercise, so difficult to a childhood fresh from the perceptive state, had been rendered possible to Willie by the strictly logical trend
able one
;
of his education.
He
slowly,
pened.
He thought about
had been a
life
it
was
Had he
he had won of
clearer
many
'
hides.
Yet
this,
he had
in the
some pass
60
secret barrier, he
He
felt
that he
It
was
Then it occurred to him that perhaps there was some way out that the hereafter as he knew it was curiously cruel, and, if applied universally, rather unjust. It was also at variance with the optimistic creed whose catch-words he had casually
;
acquired,
did
not
affect
him much.
This, then,
was
his
problem
an acrostic of deadly
This
his
was
soul
which
was
still
the dreary
a little knowledge now of astronomy and and these mingled themselves strangely with his meditations, and seemed to make the finding of a clue more hopeless than if he had only his own memories and fancies to draw on. Yet as he
physics,
He had
had some division into classes people, he was told, were good and bad events, he knew, were nasty or nice it seemed inconceivable that amongst the dead there should not also be a few who were happy to balance the miseries of the rest.
that salvation. In every variety of experience he
:
hitherto found
61
had told him that he would not be one of those happy ones that he was still bound to the
;
trail
air.
But some were not so. He was sure of it. He wondered and puzzled, and sent his soul questing for the answer but the only result was to make him tired and restless, and his nurse cut short the hour
;
Then,
came
to him.
He
within his
'
own
was
to be found.
And by and by my Soul return'd to me, And answer d " I myself am Heav'n and
3
Hell."'
The governing mood, that was the governing fate. his mind's eye the long agony of the Dead but saw it no longer as an unreasonable torture, rather
He saw in
no other environment than the shadowy outline of their once enduring homes.
It
was plain that one could take nothing into death life and a for some person, possession, passion or pursuit, such as formed the equipment of most sensible
but that which one had learnt during
;
62
He
He saw
his
at a
new
angle
not as
When
the inevitable
home
one amongst
many
he reflected
how various an
assumed towards different temperaments, and even towards the same temperament when under the dominion of shifting moods, he could not doubt that subjective reality was the only one which had any meaning for the individual soul. He perceived that the Hell of the worldly might be the Heaven of those who had nothing to regret that those who looked up must find a different landscape from their neighbours who looked down.
They, in the place of those intangible
relics of life
his
find
He seemed
soul as
it
outwards toward the Beyond. He looked firmly on the future, and made resolutions
which had
plans
little
careful
for
his
Earth,
that
spirit.
He was determined upon that. The claims of this world were illusory. He had always known it,
but these later years, for expediency's sake, he had
63
turned
from
the
truth.
He would
a
to hold
one of
to
many
dimensions.
He would no
longer try
matter.
to
assume to himself that the game was a serious He would refuse to care who lost or won, concern himself about the chances of wealth
:
or fame
would form no
ties,
the enemy.
coloured counties
'
from the
to be, but
it
dangerous.
The
comments and critiOne does not notice the ugliness of individual buildings when one stands on the top of a hill. And his eye was so firmly fixed on the Eternal now, that he came down to the realities of jelly and beef-tea with a start. For his
wholesale tailoring business, the
realities.
He acknowbody.
he wished to be
fair to his
it
But
on the curb.
Nor did
it
point of view
was open
To
normal condition.
CHAPTER
VII
We
be
all
Kipling.
At
To
himself, he appeared
more worthy
;
Only a burning faith can distinguish the philosopher under the veil of the hobbledehoy the founders of new religions have generally been over twenty-one. His mother met him at the station with a fourwheeler and a large rug. Her solicitude was rather irritating to a fastidious youth who knew his body to be a phantasm. He could find no comfort in the thought that the four-wheeler was a phantasm too
ing angles of his figure.
;
it
to a return after
MARSHLAND AND WICKET
65
He had sickness to the pretty pageant of life. meant to play the game, since it was but a game, gaily and with a light hand forming no bonds with Earth, but hoarding amusing memories against the
;
There were
it
secrets, too,
and would adventure to discover them. For one who cherishes these pleasant and pagan
was
in his inten-
London terminus is not an inspiriting point The cab rattled, and Mrs. Hopkinof departure. son busied herself with the windows, and asked her son how many carbolic baths he had had, because She added of Pauline, who was very susceptible. that they were very busy at home over a Cafe Chantant in aid of the Dartmoor Holiday Camps
ideals a
'
for Costers'
'
Donkeys.'
'
It's
Finan-
cially good, I mean and that's everything in a work of charity. You must help at it. A man and you're quite old enough to count as a man is such an advantage. You'll be feeling stronger by And we've only got then, and it will amuse you. to get enough money for railway expenses, because land on Dartmoor is free, and of course the dear
slow
weary disgust was creeping over Master Hopkinson. They were nearing home, and the peculiar bleakness of the London residential street
5
66
struck
He was born
one
an
who
dwells
The ugliness and arrogance of the houses, the pale and dreary desert of the road
modern
city.
which lay between them, combined to obliterate that street-sense compounded of adventure and
inclusion which narrower
and
less
pretentious by-
their cuddled
homes.
its social
suggestion,
all
Where
attic whispers to
and pavements run friendlily beneath the walls, there is a sacrament present of the Brotherhood of Man. But the isolated villas of our wide, chill thoroughfares have nothing in common but a mutual exclusiveness. When Willie, descending from his cab, looked down the road with its rows
attic,
its
legions of
'
now was
about
its
to reti-
';
its
windows without
gates
;
and the
evil
pilasters
spirit of rebellion
was born
in him.
He had
the
feeling that
this
way which
homes.
now
MARSHLAND AND WICKET
depended from a
ceiling
67
On
the walls
taken for inferior tapestry, displayed a riot of invertebrate forms thrown together in defiance of every
known
rule of ornament.
by
bedroom, where he
was the magic moment when blue fades by green into grey. He watched that heavenly transformation, and it soothed his fretted nerves. The sky, he found, had reassumed that secret power which it had for him in childhood. He had won back the world of vision in turning from the world of sense. He stood there dreaming till Mrs. Hopkinson bustled into the room to close the window, and spoke in anxious tones of the fact that the tea was standing, and night air notoriously unwholesome. That broke the spell. He went downstairs possessed by the gnawing discomfort which a homecoming is apt to induce. Everything looked as it used to do, and no one seemed to notice his own inward change. Yet how different things were from their appearances and how different he from the being whom his garrulous mother and sister
:
home-made cake
68
Hopkinson, and helped him to endure with good temper the minor trials of the evening, during which
his father explained to
of infectious disease.
'
him
in detail the
germ theory
more round our own hearth !' Willie arose next morning to a sense of struggle and depression such as had long been absent from
'
his spirit.
felt
the weight of
coming events those small, tedious, hollow events which were going to make up the day. Things did
not seem promising for his projected
veniently arranged.
Game
of Life
He
breakfast, prefaced by a discussion as to what he had better eat, accompanied by annotated extracts from the morning paper, which Mr. Hopkinson was
accustomed to supply
ment.
mental nourish-
on he would be ex-
For the present, in fact, Pauline seemed likely to be his chief companion. She was now twenty-one
;
liked a
good time in the local acceptation of the phrase and saw that she got it made her own
blouses,
held her
own
opinions,
and the drama and was generally in the front rank of Young Suburbia. But as a companion, a sister, she had her limitations. She was apt to forget that
technical accuracy about cricket, politics,
69
eighteen and
one-and-twenty.
Willie
with his
own view
of
life,
she would
still
So
it
pects of a pleasant
realization of illusion
held lightly
a perpetual
to con-
intolerant.
Hopkinson family entirely lacked a spiritual aspect. Certainly, if it had one, they did not think about it. Earth for them was the one
of the
actuality
interest
long
life
quick
potential
He saw in them Shadowy World, and feared their slow, stultifying influence. How, in such an atmosphere, keep his own armour bright ?
therein
the
one duty.
the
members
of
As well try
city.
to study
astronomy
in
a fog-bound
He found
those
his
a way.
six months after home-coming they suddenly pointed out to him a road to adventure, if not to discovery. The dulness had become very desperate by this time. He
;
70
The World
is
Dead
in its feature-
monotony
suburbs.
He was
life
and the futility of its occupations. He could take no interest beyond a gentle amusement in work,
play,
politics,
oder
the
acquisition
of
knowledge.
They were games, and curiously stupid ones. It never occurred to him that he had a part to play in them duty becomes unreal when its object is known to be impermanent. But turning his eyes
:
by a dismal nothingness. If Earth was illusion, Heaven was emptiness. So he was driven to his dreams, in default of more actual possessions, and Blake to certain visionary books he had met with and Swedenborg and the Dutch mystics. These were congenial, if unintelligible, to him and with them he lived moped drifted. It became his habit to stroll of an afternoon
of the
neighbourhood,
of
squalor,
which was neither poor enough to be excusable, nor extreme enough to be interesting. In this way he
found one day a
lovable
little street
:
little street,
of the
human
hive.
the Purple
One
71
was bordered by a high blank wall, which cloistered the shy gardens of some villas in the next street.
On
and
in-
numerable cats. But half-way down there were shops a pawnbroker's, a dubious dairy, a plumber's and decorator's.
:
This
last,
it had drain-pipes in one window and wall-papers in the other a symbolic display, in fact. At one side a private door, grained to imitate some rare and gaudy species of oak, led to the upper story and by the door a repousse
letters,
the words,
him rather
to be
pleasantly.
it
He was
sufficiently sophis-
ticated to find
many
He was
like a
know how
to attain, and fearing a storm which might wreck him before he could reach it. So he did not feel justified in neglecting a chance which might lead, not only to companionship with other spiritual beings, but also to more security than he
72
Moreto
he urgently required
an
antidote
the
He
looked at the
Then he walked on. Presently he returned, and glanced up and down the street. There was only a dust-cart in sight. He rang, and entered. The stairs within were steep, narrow, and illscrubbed three flights of them. There was time during the ascent for meditation and Mr. Willie Hopkinson, somewhat elated on his first entrance, felt
copper plate, and hesitated.
: ;
was in a state of peculiar nervousness that he finally knocked at the shabby door with ground-glass panels which he found
heart sank as his body rose
;
and
it
to
him cured
much.
his
Willie
had a sister, and neither feared girls nor admired them and even a slave of the sex would scarcely have been tempted to emotion by her flat face, black It will be sailor hat, and crumpled cotton shirt. acknowledged that the Searchers of the Soul had
;
She received him with that curious effusion, at once servile and supercilious, which the secretaries
of small but earnest associations keep for possible
converts.
73
for,
The You wish to join us, perhaps ?' she said. know, one as of course you movement is becoming,
'
of
great
importance.
We
are
on the eve of a
It
is
Spiritual Era.
One
feels
that.
in
the air
and our not be the The Soul,' continued Miss Toyson, whose readySociety will
least of its
heralds.
made appearance
what can be more important to each one of us ? And the Search for it what is more beautiful ? The paths to Truth are so many and the Society is quite non-sectarian.'
to her lyrical speech
'
'
Really
?'
said Willie,
who
repressed with
diffi-
It
Oh
yes, quite.
is
We make
The
Thing-in-Itself,
as a great philois
a believer in
Shintoism
worships
Yet,
his ancestors,
you know
and
we have
several Buddhists.'
Toyson and her Society fascinated whilst they repelled him. He was quite sure that they knew nothing about it but their name had a glamour
;
74
which he could not resist. The subscription was seven and six he paid it. His monthly allowance
;
was ten
It
shillings.
were frequent.
was worth something to have found a haven, however shabby, where one might dare to speak
one's mind.
manner
of
the afternoon's
;
adventure.
little
an
amusing
'
sort of place,
How nice
!'
I'm so glad,
Willie dear.
interests of
your own.
Such a good plan for you to have some But I am sorry the meetings
Coming out
into the
smile
hesitating as a
diffi-
however
in-
There was an
She found
it
many
would take
decorative pathos.
75
but Pauline, whose had never caused her to feel the need of sympathy, was entirely incapable of giving it. So it happened that Mrs. Hopkinson's existence was lonely in spite of her garrulity, and she was happiest when she was expending on a misplaced charity the ardours which her children preferred to do without. Mr. Willie Hopkinson could scarcely expect to
:
even
life
an
interest, in his
from
dence, which
after
all,
and maidens
join societies
more
deleterious in order
elders.
to differentiate themselves
from their
The
him.
first
which he
found more
futilities of
stifling
to
the home circle. But he persevered he was not the son of a business man for nothing, and he meant to receive full value for his seven and six. He therefore went a third time, and was
rewarded
for
whom
long-
early
classes
the
haired
He was
vivid,
highly-
76
A care;
man who
them blindly, as a fool. When he first came under the eye of Mr. Willie Hopkinson, Stephen was striving to assimilate the
frothy periods of Mr. Verrian Spate, the expounder
in
minute detail
State
of
new
doctrine of reincarna-
tion, elaborated
by
himself.
Novel theories
of the
Future
Willie,
He
amazement
whilst
Mr. Spate
he
of the year,
and
vigorously
defended
dogma
of Successive Incarnations,
and turned
Nor was he
less aston-
when Mr.
had been by a
Norman Dawes,
spirit
human
must
after death.
was improb-
yy
lit
to cold pallor
by the incandescent
gas, he
knew
been for
of
many months.
;
With knowledge
lying so
first blow upon the portals of sense with phrases on their lips which constantly touched edges of the Truth it seemed incredible that these people could
dealt
making game in their happy ignorance with the secret beyond the veil. He felt that annoyed astonishment which is often induced in persons
having the sentiment of Religion or Art when they
are confronted
Philistine or
the Atheist.
he
rise
to relate his
own
members would be pleasantly excited by his originality, and ask him to go on the committee. But
they would not believe in him, because that would
prevent them from believing in
all
But Stephen
its
Miller
was
different.
To Stephen
methods might
be.
in his disillusion.
infallible
and
in the
spirit
meets
knew that
friend.
78
He woke from his meditation to find that Mr. Dawes' remarks were drawing to a close. Yes !' he was saying, as his voice penetrated to
'
'
words
of
Browning,
it is
together here
'"To
full
into play!
what matters
we
little
?"
That
is
if
is
the ideal
set before us
And
quota to the
He
left
subsided amidst
murmurs
of admiration,
at the
and and
the meeting.
into the
Mr. Willie
Hopkinson also had ceased to be interested or even amused, so he went out after Mr. Miller, following
and
They were very young under twenty an age when the founding of a friendship seems always the first page of a romance. They looked at each other,
and the miracle was done.
first sight,
to
79
They were both excited. The horrid gulf which yawned between the title and transactions of their Society had disgusted but not yet discouraged them. They saw each other, and through each other the
trend of the event, hopefully, with the air of explorers
journeyings.
lips,
The seal was loosened upon Willie's and even at that early moment he held back Stephen, who confidence with an uncertain hand.
of a spirit sensible of mystery,
To one
of
Willie
had
made one
step forward.
CHAPTER
VIII
.'
Maeterlinck.
It was Mrs. Hopkinson's dearest hope that her son
should
Culture
had
made
when
man
and immodest
in a
woman.
Girls
now read
transla-
home
:
their
parents
and
commented
becomes imperaA little further westwards, where the omnibus tive. gave place to the tram, that came as a matter of course but the district which was served by the Inner Circle accepted membership of the London
at which a local Debating Society
;
library as a certificate of
Mrs.
intellect.
felt
Hopkinson, therefore,
80
that
as
Willie
THE FIRST SIGNPOST
or a popular
81
young man,
it
should be
known
as a clever one
who would
his
him
in the
and turn
indolent
attention
towards fashionable
Levi.
fields of
Hermann
Her garments the only child of Mrs. Steinmann. which they considered to be indecently suggestive
of a dressing-gown
friends,
gave
and kept them, to her delight, at a sufficient They sometimes brought their country call on her, thus bridging the gap between cousins to the attractions of the Zoo and South Kensington Museum but such visits were based more on
distance.
;
On
Levi,
tion,
who was too self-conscious to dislike admirahowever strange its form, received her visitors cordially, and made a point of saying something a little bit shocking before they left. It was expected
of her,
and she could not neglect so obvious a duty. this time a slender and alluring person of thirty-eight and the uncomfortable tendencies of her soul made her liable to brief joys and long periods of boredom. She had a superficial knowledge of many things and a great respect for efficiency her friends thought that she was artistic, her enemies said she was soulful. In
She was at
;
82
reality she
When
name
to Darcy.
what was worse, he did so in an intolerably good-humoured manner, and thus convinced his wife, even sooner than she had expected, that he was utterly incapable of appreMr. Levi refused
;
or her
Mr.
Levi,'
she
would
in
say,
'
is
Materialist.
He
beautiful
of
part which
Symbolism plays
intelligent.'
lives
the spiritually
lifts
to disclose Willie
Hopkinson
Hermann
She had arranged, without ostentation, that this should be the case. For two people, the room seemed empty. There was an absence of small tables, and the walls, except for a boldly designed frieze by Walter Crane, were
alone.
They were
barely coloured.
One was a small and evilly-restored Madonna, which Mrs. Levi in her more sanguine moments attributed
the other a grubby and obvious Degas. to Perugino She had friends amongst the extreme right as well as the extreme left of the artistic parliament, and each by turns dictated her always admirable taste.
;
THE FIRST SIGNPOST
This
83
But with two such works of art, a little fumed oak, and the poems of Emile Verhaeren in a Niger morocco binding, any room, she considered, was adequately furnished. She leaned back now in the corner of the settle, and carefully placed her dark head against a cushion of violet silk. She wore a soft dress of subdued and cloudy blue, and Willie, who was in
liked best.
He
the
first
spiritual griefs.
They talked of Art, a subject which young Mr. Hopkinson had seldom heard- mentioned. Though
62
84
his father, he
its
fact clearly in
favour
it
But Art, he now gathered, Academy Notes. was an important thing a secret and mysterious power, and also a pleasing one. It was spelt with a capital letter. From the vague and reverential
of
;
way
that
in
it
which Mrs. Levi spoke of it, he inferred stood somewhat on the same plane as
be,'
religion.
'
Where should we
?
'
if it
were
raises
which
am
sure
we think
alike
trot ?'
was rapidly becoming one of adoration, and hostess did not, like Mark Antony, pause for a
'
reply.
'
Kunst
is
soul.
am
its
convinced of
existence
?
How
the
else
can we
the
explain
It
is
link
with
Beyond.'
whose attention had wandered from Mrs. Levi's words and fixed itself on the fascinations of her person, suddenly became
At
interested.
The
matter
seemed
to
have
some
air
personal
application.
attracted her.
THE FIRST SIGNPOST
'
85
Have you never felt the spell of Ultimate Beauty ?' she murmured. He had not, but it was obvious that he would like to and she saw prospects of conversion ahead. Your convert is always the best disciple. Elsa liked her followers to be tame and appreciative!
;
Beauty,'
she
said,
'
is
the
worth having.
You
will
know
when you
in form,
have found
'
it.
Beauty
in poetry,
Beauty
tell
you,'
she
said,
bending forward
'
and
'
Astarte Syriaca
tell
powders
you that all the banners of Empire and of the merchant weigh as nothing in the
Eternity against
scales of
Durham
Cathedral or
little
to Mr. Willie
Hophis
But
sensitive.
He
recog-
He saw
so
brilliant
woman
86
delicious, free,
life,
and
'
felt
My
he remarked bitterly.
'
thinks that
nothing
of serious
bearing on practical
'
You must
was
is
a delight. a
'
It
is
born
Materialist.
You and
have
windows
though
the earth.
It
is
man
My
husband
is
He
woman, but he
Of the
life-en-
hancing
nothing.'
qualities
of
Kunst
he
knows
nothing
the same
much
The
conversation
languished
both were
thoughtful,
together
the
chief
must
*
contain.
Do have
!'
Willie drank in
He
was
certainly
having
astonishing,
ever-to-be-remembered afternoon.
of the Soul
bilities
;
The Searchers
faith,
had shaken
and
87
a
curiosity
strength.
It
is
youth that those who turn a blank wall of reticence towards their families are often most ready
confide
in
to
the
first
they meet.
more open
all,
flattery
understood.
He
longed to
tell
her
but refrained,
clever,
boy
her
awkward and
careful
It
full
of
fancies,
airs of equality
which
to
would be amusing, she thought, to detach him from those horrible Hopkinsons, and show him something of the ideals which she loved,
assume.
or thought that she loved.
She pined
for intelligent
admiration
is
and to
train
one
way
to success.
She perceived
Willie.
some, and
nice lad.
her to be sympathetic.
He was
a
The
'
conversation
revived,
and
took
more
intimate turn.
is
The beautiful in life,' said Mrs. Levi that what we must look for, and refuse to see the
'
It is so difficult.'
'
'
88
'
?'
asked Elsa
circle
He
and encouraged by the expression which he thought that he saw in her eyes, ventured at last to press her hand that soft and manicured hand with its strange rings of olivine, chrysoprase, and enamels. He experienced in the act a new sensation, compounded of terror and daring, which assured him that he had yet much to learn.
it,
Leben
is
she said.
when the
electric lights
were switched on
and stared at each other with dazzled eyes which had grown accustomed to the discreet shadows thrown by firelight on a dusky room. Mrs. Levi, who had been growing curiously younger during the past hour, immediately resumed her rightful years. Willie drew back, feeling dreamy and insecure. Before he had recovered himself, the door opened with unnecessary amplitude and fuss, and Mr. Geraint Levi, red-tied and frockcoated, entered noisily.
'
What
ho,
mater
!'
said he
'
;
been sitting
in the
89
Lively
;
the House.
Lollies
softening
makes
Lollies
nutriment at present.'
horrified
by
also
remained
silent.
unconscious
of
Saw your
'
Had
a chat with
him going down and Sewing.' He paused, and showed some amusement at his own epigram. I suppose they'll be setting you on to the trouserUnderground.
Same
'
stitching soon.
What
a lark
!'
He
helped himself
it,
grumbled at
drank
in
it
thin bread-and-butter
his
two
the
kissed
mother suddenly on
and went out of the room as noisily as he had I'm just going out to get this week's Tuppenny Tips? he shouted from half-way down
entered.
'
the staircase.
There seemed to be a
departure.
particularly
Elsa,
chill in
whom
he always
was
She
as
felt
herself
it
and
knew
bad
that
imperilled
her influence.
He was
as a poor relation.
90
Willie,
but
already very
where Elsa was concerned, feared to intrude on what was certainly an annoyance and probably a sacred grief. But he reflected
that
as
father
a
like
Mr.
a
great
trial
to
spiritually-minded
man
It
was a bond between them. His assurance returned, and he would have taken her hand again, but she gave him no opportunity. Even in moments of sentiment, she managed to steer
clear of bathos.
new tone
?'
the business
Shall
you
like that
He had
felt
nothing to say.
He
new power
away without more words. He had been having tea in Paradise, and now she was helping him back to earth. But she was
that he could go
merciful.
agility
She saw that he did not possess the which allowed her to drop to fresh consad,'
she said.
'
for
you.
You must
like
not mind
that.
in
life
things
see,
always
happen
it.'
Beauty,
you
'
be noticeable without
Oh, but
why
is
life
so horrid
?'
said
Willie.
And why
mixed up with
91
life
If
only
could
know what
meant
tively.
'
But
it is
so difficult.'
think
sometimes,'
she
said,
'
that
perhaps
really
this
If
world
is
is
very amusing.
of the universe,
itself
And after one of the great tragedies when a splendid star has burnt
its life in
it
sons,
must
for a little.'
She forgot Willie's presence for a moment, and laughed herself, but not very mirthfully. Oh,
'
but
it's all
very ridiculous
!'
she said.
He was charmed. Here at last was a person who put his own ideals into practice, and held life with a light hand. He was sure that Mrs. Levi
perceived
their
essential
sympathy,
and
found
him
attractive'.
did not know that the attracown ignorance and fundamental He was an empty and rather well-
He
thoughts
He went
away
with two such friends as Stephen and Elsa Levi, the future, which had once seemed repellent in its nakedness, was amply draped. How happy she, he thought, in such surroundings lovelinesses springing up about her
feeling that,
Miller
92
at
No doubt
she
;
for
He
forgot
it
husband
he found
was her
son.
home
in a flushed
and excited condition happier than he had been for months, and less tolerant of his environment. Life was a charming game, and Mrs. Levi the most accomplished of players. But there was beefhis father was a steak with onions for dinner
;
fell.
before swine
of her
when spreading them at her husband's feet. The process was soothing and self-explanatory, and there was seldom any fear that his replies would eclipse the brilliance
jewels of speech than
of her
'
own
own remarks.
of
That boy
the
Hopkinsons','
'
she
said
to
noon.
He
affects
me
I
curiously.
detect a strange
to tea again.'
element in him.
'
half
by
omelette.
'
Do
93
should think.
Fancy
him
any points he likes. But kids are queer you depend on 'em Look at Connie !' Mrs. Levi did look at Connie, whose portrait and she sighed. She hung near the fireplace would have given much for a share in that form of
;
can't
queerness.
It
attri-
emotions.
life
one valuable
to
an
exquisite skin,
purity.
moulded on
a form
Grecian
whom
she
con-
took after
scious
'
but
at
fifteen
Connie,
already
of
her charms,
Lady and the Painter.' The life it pointed out was easy, lucrative, and adventurous and in her
;
case,
curiously
is
enough,
in
it
remained
reputable.
She
of
famous
palaces,
many
many
'
both worlds.
Yes,' admitted Elsa, after a brief reflection
career,
'
on
Connie's
kids
are
queer
But
don't
;
a mystic
1
No
no money
94
in that.
as a hobby, of course.
serious employment.'
'
And
is
employment ?' asked Mrs. Levi rather warmly. Her controversial manner was apt to be
serious
feverish,
in
'
husband,
'
except
nincompoops who can't do anything else Very pretty and all that, but it don't pay. It's no use glaring, Elsa my dear, or sitting on your chair as if it was a pin-cushion. I never saw the mystic yet who could pay your dressmaker's bill.' He carefully lighted a large cigar and Mrs. Levi, who found it convenient to dislike tobacco, fled to her boudoir, where she smoked cigarettes in solitude for two hours, and thought of Willie Hopkinson in a mood which she wrongly imagined
for the
;
to be maternal.
CHAPTER IX
A FELLOW-TRAVELLER
'
Moving about
in
Wordsworth.
The
was soon
perceptible.
She raised
The
result
still
was
of doubtful
advantage to a person
effect,
who
from
In
dom
ideals
to
that of unrest.
It
hungered
for
Elsa's
society,
;
and
for
the
ness which
it passed on the rest of creation. She was the one fixed point of his universe, and wandering from that he felt lost. He cherished her occa-
95
96
sional letters,
of her
hand,
He
no new one.
though always
He began
conscious,
had developed little since the childish it first woke to its own existence. Its powers, beyond those of mere panic, were immature. It perceived, but could not co-ordinate. It was still the baby spirit, the troublesome precocious child, which takes notice easily but holds nothing in a comtimes
when
prehensive grasp.
of the Veil,
and shuddering acknowledgments of the Grey Country where the Dead search the fields of life for something to love, were cast in petty lines. Lacking as yet the Great Companion, Willie walked
only with the dim reflection of his
soul.
It
own mean
little
now began
to brood upon
problems, to read
the National Gallery. From these he returned illtempered and disconsolate, tired out by uninstructed
efforts to appreciate
Medieval Art.
He found
little
had directed his attention to Memlinck and to Gherard David, to Duccio and to Botticelli and he spent puzzled hours before masterpieces as
;
A FELLOW-TRAVELLER
far
97
beyond
his apprehension as
of his relations.
speaking as silence
Idea which
beyond appearance.
He
had been
to the
in other years
;
and he remembered the discord with which the pictures seemed to shout from the walls. Here there was the peace of mutual courtesy. and So, coming for Art, he stayed for Serenity still influences began their slow civilizing work upon
;
Academy
his soul.
Stephen
Miller,
in
another
direction,
gave
Their friendship
Both youths suffered from family criticism they had been led to think their most ordinary actions eccentric and this gave a coyness to their early advances. Even immortal spirits dislike being laughed at. The emotion conceived on the dim stairway of the Searchers of the Soul could not at first endure a cold and unbecoming
;
daylight.
Not, indeed,
till
Stephen's family
circle,
how
They seemed to have been prepared for one another by a good-natured and discriminating Providence. Stephen had been reared, like himself, in an atmosphere of overpowering solidity. But his home was opulent there were wide passages, and two foot:
98
men. Circumstances were easier for him than the}^ had been for Mr. Willie Hopkinson, though scarcely
more
inspiring.
gentleman,
fully
who seldom gave himself the trouble of rebuking his son who read Punch through care:
He
re-
any
first visit,
all
now
tion.
was an exaggera-
grance,
had passed
shads, the
and morsels
of
culled
Book
he
Each
new
old
religion,
said,
of a fresh
a figure of which
in
Mr.
Miller,
safely
established
the
pawky
by the
early,
if
spiritual things,
between them.
radeship.
The
flattering
comprehension
of
an elder
A FELLOW-TRAVELLER
woman
life
still
99
Willie
leaves gaps to be
;
filled.
had
room for Stephen and Stephen, whose spiritual was dominated by a lively and eclectic curisoul.
however bizarre the colours of the thread and seldom refused his hand to an unproved proposition.
He
own
its
story to take
spirit,
rank
with
these
experiments.
Stephen's
nearness, looked
it
but though
seemed sad
that so intelligent a person should share the delusions of the rest of the world, he avoided its contact.
shadow-world
of sense.
Yet as
realities
His
universe was
still
his
diligent
dreams no more than the expression of an aesthetic unsatisfied mind. He wished to know the Beyond because he believed as children wish to see fairies
;
it
meet-
Each had
a secret
72
ioo
might one
day draw from the other an indignant protest, and incidentally confession of faith. It seemed a flint on which, at any moment, one might strike out the spark of truth. And it was, finally, in some such way that they did actually come to understand
each other.
was an evening in which the tone of the meeting had been one of great intellectual, as well as atmospheric, stuffiness. The dogmatism of the Dark Ages, wedded to the unbridled speculation of the present, had exalted the imagination, and paralyzed the intelligence, of the Society 'The heirs of
It
all
'
as Mr.
Table-turning,
astrology,
all
and divination
Willie
by
coffee-grounds,
had
and Stephen, escaping at last from the fumes of gas and the sounds of aerated oratory, stepped from that squalid stairway, with its suggestion of putty and cheap lodgings, straight into the austere
pageant of the night.
They stood upon the threshold, amazed and comby the purity which the west wind blows from a dark sky. It was such an abrupt change as Dante felt when he came out from Hell a riveder le stelle.'' The moon rode high above London. Little clouds, hurrying across the heavens, became opalescent poems as they approached her faded to grey prose
forted
'
A FELLOW-TRAVELLER
as they rushed away.
101
its
In
the
great
lamps
fire,
but the
moon looked
Under that heaven, so secret and so white, one seemed to imagine wide spaces of quiet and happy country at rest and the black shadow of London man's ugly
down on them
serenely and
was
not afraid.
lying
like a blot
same merciful dispensation of darkness and light. The spirit of London was awed, too, by the guardianship of this cold and gracious moon, as never by the brightness of the sun. Even the traffic went with a muffled tread. Cities dream on a moonlit night and in their dream they smile and become beautiful.
;
'
On
a night like
this,'
said Stephen,
'
so magical
if
and
still,
one
is
any-
thing
is real.
now And who's to say which is the Real street It's we who are different,' said Willie. we see another world.'
' '
These streets are not the same streets their essence isn't the same as in daytime.
?'
'
And
so
wonder
Do you
what we
now
?'
Willie laughed.
'
'
Horrible
They
make
me
ill
102
that
words
know
!
of.
Want
to
want
'
to
earnest.
know
to
know.
first,'
We're
in
to gabble.'
at
They used
'
disgust
me
answered
Willie,
because
companionship
it
should be blind.
Most burlesque
like to sit
is
and listen, and wonder what would happen if one got up and told them the truth.' They would say that they couldn't accept it without investigation, and that the Vice-president's hypothesis was more in accordance with their
'
spiritual intuitions.'
'
Probably
Oh,'
!
it is.'
'
said
Stephen
stars
suddenly
and
violently,
it
'
look
!
and the darkness and the strange, careless, cruel earth. It must be different really more ordered, more sane. Will one ever
all
The great
?'
Better not.
'
How
can you
Think
somewhere, perif
only our
Yes
may
find the
horror.'
A FELLOW-TRAVELLER
The horror ?' Yes that comes first. It's not so find it. But the other the real secret
'
103
'
difficult to
is
hidden,
if it
exists.'
rot,
Hopkinson,' he
different
left.
I
;
said.
from
but
those
chattering
fools
am
tales.'
'
Fairy-tales
Good heavens
is
A moment
all this
ago
you knew
tale.
funny
What
senses
in the
'
show us
forms under which we see them.' If I But do you know that ?' said Stephen. knew that much, it would be something.' something Something ?' answered Willie IgnoIt would be Hell If only I didn't know
' 1
'
rance
is
all.'
He
force.
stopped.
He was
astonished at himself.
He
His hand,
and he leaned
forward, directing
his will
io 4
Then
quite slowly, in a
that
:
he would
tell
life
it
seemed only
desire the
fair to
do
specially
moment.
to satisfy.
touched
He was
impelled to candour.
his life in the slums as he rememand of his death in the hospital. His manner was rather matter-of-fact not interesting. He described this in a lower key, for it was still a present dread the Grey World, and what he had endured whilst it held his spirit. His account was
He spoke about
it,
bered
he spoke in the
present tense.
was describing something which he saw, and which only his own imperfect vision prevented him also from seeing. He quietly demolished the hedgerows
of conventional experience,
runs,
But the
subject, in his
It
and as
was unimIt
tale
life.
seemed to him that he was hearing a very ordinary an addition, merely, to the sordid aspects of
;
It
corresponded
more or
less
with
other
A FELLOW-TRAVELLER
theories that he
for their sterile
105
had heard of, and had dismissed quality, which did not please his
mind.
active
synthetic
He
it
did not
realize
the
tremendous significance
to the
possessed, as belonging
World of Fact, and not the World of Idea. Those solid pavements on which they walked the scuttling hansoms the hoardings with their insistent presentation of food, tobacco, and amusement
;
;
life
and he was not conscious of the transformation of his universe which Willie's slow sentences involved. Mr. Willie Hopkinson felt disappointed. He was making the great revelation of his life chiefly, he thought, out of kindness to Stephen and he did not appear to have produced much effect. He had
; ;
hoped to
teach of truth
an\\ the fear,
roavl.
seejned to be brooding.
sphere was
won'ls he
dreadfulness
by
force of his
own
lost
He
forgot
shadow which
life
He was
He saw no
;
star.
The glow
his
of
came
instead
story
106
'
he
said.
in
the
same
It's
don't want
if
it
to be true.
too ugly.
here, at the
If it isn't
true
back of appearance, as you say I may and go back to my beautiful lies. Of course they're silly and deceptive, but each new one makes me hope I am going to find the Real. If
forget
it,
this is the
'
Real
sulkily,
'
It's
my
He spoke
contrast,
listening
Stephen, by
seemed to falter. Now that the strain of was over, dim ideas were beginning to
I,
surge up in his
'
You and
real
;
real,'
mind and constrict his utterance. as we look to each other now, aren't All this city that you see continued Willie.
'
isn't
colour
isn't
real,
;
oder
sound.
There's
and the living who have one dream, and the Dead who have another.
only space and silence, really
What we
throw
call reality is
we
?
outside
ourselves.
Don't
you
see
that
We
each
people
make our own universe or let other make it. But I've made myself a world
and
!'
in four dimensions,
that's
why
in three.'
'
It's
wonderful
said
Stephen slowly.
The
last.
He
it
!
fidgeted
uneasily.
!
'
Just you
Why
can't
A FELLOW-TRAVELLER
know
one
'
107
it
;
If it's true,
but no
that
trial
has.'
I've
thought
I
sometimes,'
first
Willie,
'
perhaps
piece,
am
the
;
of a
new
regime.
you know an experiment. It's about time something new was evolved from the race, isn't it ?
And
isolated
is
specimens
;
aren't
usual
in
nature.
Which
mixture
lucky
it's
That
and foolishness which the first man who stood upright must have felt, when he limped and stumbled amongst the four-footed
of fatigue
things,
is
just
tive
for
what
I feel
now.
forests
made for creeping and leaping creatures, which he must have had shame for his state mixed with secret knowledge of his new powers all that is just a parable of my life, going with new
who
?'
instinctively resent
But
is
answered Stephen.
illusion
'
It
can't
wrapped inside this one. This can't be all can't be the end this Grey Horror that you talk of. It's too mad, too evil, too unjust.' I have that feeling, too? sometimes,' said Willie. They had reached the inner core of his mind now, and he was impelled to confess it. I seem to know,
'
'
is
away
for
people
who
But
can't find
yet.
The other
is
the beginning
108
anyhow.
it's
Stephen shivered.
pretty, iridescent
He
felt
himself
from
land
varied
material.
fog,
Willie's
cloud
descended
and
choked
him.
'
Oh, but
!'
will
find a
way back
to beautiful
thoughts
he said.
He
out,
remember the words that Willie had said to him. But he could not think very clearly the house was so horribly still.
lights,
to
Presently
about the room. In spite of the stillness, the air seemed full of inaudible sounds. He stood up, sent quick glances towards the door. He thought he would like to go downstairs again, and find companionship
:
he
felt
cold,
breathless.
Solitude
who
He
;
had
but
still
sufficient self-control to
to ask his
it
at himself,
its
frenzy
It referred
him
to a
more
to
A FELLOW-TRAVELLER
Innermost whose calm
for
vigil
109
;
he seldom disturbed
though he loved to give them spiritual names. It was, then, the tremor of his soul whose reflection he
now
felt in
physical wretchedness.
its
Whilst
teeth in
his reason
it had perceived. had been roused by familiar accents, and now reminded him of the dark places in which he stood. It had pushed out suddenly into the transcendental
weak consciousness
back.
in its
wake.
He
it
Material
faith
:
only
made
possible
of
by material
appearances.
by a
childlike acceptance
The texture
:
of his
unsubstantial
he
thought
he
could
see
through
it
He grabbed
sud-
He was
The brightness
;
him
it
seemed to be
of
He had
lost
visual reality.
'
He was
far
Whose
sails
no
world.
and grey nothingness. He stood and shivered, choking with horror, and powerless to move, because he had lost the sense of space. Suddenly he heard a distant cry, a rustling
sound.
Then
fainted.
its
own
relief.
He
CHAPTER X
ROAD-MAKING
1
whereby,
find
due season, the vague Universality of a Man shall himself ready -moulded into a specific Craftsman.'
Thomas Carlyle.
Mrs. Steinmann was giving a
at
little
dinner.
It
was
own house at restaurants, she said, one never knew what one was eating. Margarine, she felt sure, was used freely whereas in her own
her
:
Both dinner and conversation were solid, but There were no insidious entrees in either department. This was a comfort to Mrs. Hopkinson, whose husband had lately suffered from dyspepsia, and still required diplomatic supervision at his meals. She had sent a note to her hostess in the morning, asking that he might be given toast instead of bread, and some weak whisky-and-soda in a champagne glass. Mr. Hopkinson, when he discovered these attentions, revenged himself on
easy of digestion.
ii2
Fate by taking two helpings of fried potatoes, and avoided the supplicating glance which his wife
directed towards
table.
side of the
He was sitting next to Mrs. Alcock, who had developed with years a childish, appealing manner, which made her popular with the husbands of other women, and now impelled Mr. Hopkinson
to give her carefully diluted information on several
subjects with which she
Elsa Levi, judiciously dressed for her mother's eye in a tight-fitting frock of modest ugliness, surveyed him from the opposite seat, and compared him as she always did all suitable specimens with
her
own husband.
-
Mr.
Hopkinson was
;
of
the
military
commercial
type
thick
moustache,
square
shoulders,
an
assertive
shirt-front.
He
appeared to have been created to show off his own manufactures. Mr. Levi, whose sandy hairs fringed
a bald pink dome, and
who
insisted
on retaining the
Elsa con-
whiskers of his early youth, seemed to find eveningdress less chic but
more comfortable.
little
to choose between
them
Hermann
become shiny
as the even-
ing advanced.
sight
and sound
no practical decision. A sideway glance at Mrs. Hopkinson's uninspired profile set her wondering how Willie came to be mingled with this strangely unsuitable family. She
ROAD-MAKING
;
113
had seen a good deal of him and discovered that though he tended more towards weak amativeness than she considered desirable, he was capable of
amusing, even of interesting her.
gratitude
made
but
Also,
there
fear that he
ridiculous.
When
she sat
down near
was her
make
love to be loved
of those
served.
'
'
he not
?'
Hopkinson,
'
though it's never been noticed. My dear father, I've often you know, had a vivid imagination heard mother say that he would wake up in the middle of the night screaming with terror though he always dined early, and never took meat at
so,
;
and
'
it
No doubt,'
Heredity
is
H4
isn't it
?
With a
Mrs.
to do well.'
Hopkinson was pleased. One may think one's own duckling ugly and ill-tempered, but it
is
call it
swan.
Hopkinson thinks,' she answered, that Willie might start at the Factory at the beginning of the year. He's had a long holiday, and is quite strong now and training is just what he will get
'
' ;
under a father's
said Elsa,
'
eye.'
little
fancy, do
you know
?'
from
now and
again
not
that I
attract
him
alto-
It
it ?'
Oh, Willie's
Mrs.
Hopkinson.
He
has got
into
rather
;
idle
But his health has got thoroughly established, which is the main thing, and now he must begin to learn what life really is.' Ah which of us knows that, dear Mrs. Hopkin' !
son
?'
answered Elsa
is
softly.
'
And do you
think
Willie
'
And
own
then,
by the time
'
he's
settle
her
ROAD-MAKING
'
115
And
Yes
:
that
is
to be his future
isn't
?'
'
such a comfort,
?
it,
It's
any opening for boys. If only he takes to the business But he's easily unsettled. That young Stephen Miller, I'm afraid, does him no good.' Stephen Miller ?' said Mr. Hopkinson, who, being bored by Mrs. Alcock's mechanically receptive manner, had arrived in the hope of detaching Elsa from his wife's neighbourhood and demonstrating to her that the art of flirtation was not con!
'
fined to sesthetes.
'
An
idle,
He
Miller's Sapoline,
But they're well connected people, the you know a very old-
established firm.'
know much
had heard from Willie did not please her. Spiritualism was out of date besides, he was a possible rival, and she hated strangers in her own
;
line of business.
'
'
son.
Glad you agree with me,' replied Mr. HopkinShe had only done her duty, but he liked to
sat
be kind to women.
He
fool,
down by her on
He thought
her a
him an animal but they were not too narrow-minded to find amusement in each other's
she called
;
82
n6
deficiencies.
thing he
and
;
most
irritat-
but he was a
man
as well as
Amongst
They warmed to one another perceptibly. So you are going to put Willie in the business ?' said Elsa. She was really good-natured, and wished to deliver the boy from the dragon which awaited him seeing herself in the position of a strong-minded princess, coming to the rescue of some helpless and
'
;
neurotic S. George.
'
It
seems
difficult to believe
that he
is
old enough
!'
Why,
goodness, yes
!'
said he.
The boy's
close
if
on twenty
remember
You mustn't
Mrs. Levi.'
own appearance,
Elsa sighed.
'I'm getting an old woman,' she answered, and beginning to take an old woman's interest in young
'
people.'
He
ROAD-MAKING
117
began to perceive that the conversation had some more serious aim than after-dinner dalliance and
;
in Paris
?'
he
'
Tristram
?'
said Elsa.
I
'
He
is
perfectly happy.
is
an ideal one for The life of an art-student, a young man. Technique and aspiration hand in
think,
hand.
feel that
he
is
beauties.'
He had
It
it
seems so
not
?
sad,'
all
continued Elsa,
feel
'
so unjust,
does
that
who
Now
your Willie
'
'
Willie's
'
kinson,
will
path leads to the Factory,' said Mr. Hopand I hope the influence of environment soon knock the nonsense out of him, when he
gets there.'
'
It
may
do, of course.
A
:
young soul
'
is
so easily
She
slid
little
and she knew that Mr. Hopkinson was secretly But I don't think he will ever
'
?'
He had no
illusions
n8
And
all
his faculties
those
young man
will
'
of his class
?
how
wasted they
'
will be,
they not
Not
at
all,'
He can
design the
new models.
;
done in that way and more to be made out of it than most of these artists make out of their pictures, Something the public wears, and I can tell you.
something
it
wears out
that's
:
the thing to
make
must alwaj^s be a fancy article, and jolly lasting too some of these Old Masters, I understand, have been going for hundreds But clothes we of years, and are still quite fresh. must have 'em and as long as men are born naked, there'll be a living to be made out of trousers and
by.
pictures
money
Now,
coats.'
'
do not
it.
think,'
answered Elsa,
'
make
'
He
Well, there
it is,'
The place is ready-made and what can we do but put him in it ?'
replied Mrs. Levi,
'
I think,'
Tea and
ROAD-MAKING
twilight
119
would secure
Willie's
acquiescence.
But
What
retail
!'
?'
he
said.
'
'
Oh, no
don't
mean
'
that at
not trade.'
Thought you meant Art Furnishing.' No, bookbinding, you know, or jewellery, or metal- work something of that kind. The creation
'
medieval craftsmen
;
used to do.
and
all
the
most cultivated people are taking to it. It's payThey get enormous prices for ing, too, I believe.
these things.'
'
Do
Yes.
they indeed
?'
said
Mr.
Hopkinson.
He
in for
know
!,
several girls
Oh,
girls
He employed
its
value in
Not
really,'
answered Elsa.
is
little
effeminate,
he not
a a
woman
can do well, a man is sure to do better She smiled at Mr. Hopkinson. He temporarily
?'
was onry an ingenious compound and owed her sinuous charms to Preinterested
Glacial ancestors.
'
You have
me
120
kindly. saying.
'
shall
Of course,
would never make a smart man of business.' And I'm sure he'd fail at it,' answered Elsa. that would be such a pity.' Oh, we'll hope he wouldn't quite come to that,' I'm proud to think that so said Mr. Hopkinson.
' '
'
far
no member
petition.
on.'
of
my
file
his
There's
to
fall
back
He bade
lantry
;
windows
tion.
and on the way home, having lowered both of the four-wheeler for fear of infection, he
of their conversathis
From
she
it
easily
gathered
that
such
original features as
of his creation.
CHAPTER XI
A BREEZY UPLAND
'
Holy Ghost.'
Tauler.
It
is
Time
firmly
feel
that
make
Theirs
is
may an
illusion of the
is
hours
moment
is
for
them
timeless,
do not
this.
that
why
rather
harshly.
They
cannot
is
understand
that
often necessary
left
that
it
Rational religion,
expressions of
to
more useful hobbies, and the eye of the soul becomes dim in consequence. So the spirit is drowned in the luxuries that the
for
121
make room
122
restless brain
the
and dominant body have earned it, as Clarence in the butt of Malmsey wine.
the
Hopkinson
waiting
reasons
for
during
ensuing
days,
when
to
his
future career
came
judgment.
They suggested
him
As
all
why
he
felt
the Grey
World grow
more immediate. Fifty years of moderate affluence would ill prepare him for the eternal penury of These dimension. He longed to say, that
'
careers that
you speak
is
of are all
The
soul,
necessity
that
my
which
is real.'
He
for
the transcendental
readjustment.
It
its
Unseen.
He would
fall
back into
citizenship
He had
know-
had taken no valid step toward his own salvation. Once immersed in a business life, hope would be over he would be held for ever in the general stream.
A BREEZY UPLAND
to the rest of the family, were to
of resistance.
123
The
set
on
foot.
So
was that
when
drawn
battle
days of
silent dis-
on the other
from
his father,
of Bovril
and good
the
first
conflict with
to follow the
ments, his
as Arts
own
known
and Crafts approach the higher life, had armed him for a triumphant charge against prejudice and family inertia. Hopkinson, Vowles and Co. would look elsewhere for their junior partner. It even seemed possible that Mr. Geraint Levi might one day occupy that position. Elsa thought that the exchange would be excellent, and her opinion was, for the moment, in power. But matters went less smoothly when she was not present. Tradition is not upset in a moment, and Mr. Hopkinson had fierce reversions to his original point of view. The sacrifice of prospects was what struck him most. Willie would never earn more than a bare competence, he expected,
124
at
the
craft he
had chosen
whilst
books
for
possessed
or importance of wealth.
Few
of is
not sold
by the yard. It was Elsa, proud of her triumph but fearful of a sudden sally from the enemy, who found the bindery where he should begin his career. She persuaded Mr. Hopkinson to pay the fees for a
twelve months' training in advance, representing
this
course in
its
economical aspect.
Mrs.
Hop-
kinson
whose
the
work
and fro in the winter, it would be very awkward. But knowing that women always make mistakes
of
Geschäft
matters
to
their
A BREEZY UPLAND
An
ture,
artist
125
of
whose output
had
was beautiful and individual by several wealthy book-collectors, who paid with a cheerfulness unknown in husbands high
was situated
itself
at
Turner's Heath
that new,
It
a bindery
is
Reticence
the
Above
in
of
doorway, a sign
It bore
swung
'
on
Atte
wrought-iron hinges.
two pierced
hearts,
and
said,
Kelmscott-Gothic characters,
ye Signe
phrase, there
mation,
sively.'
'
and Inexpen-
On
tired grass
was kept within bounds by primitive oak palings. Within, a vestibule, whose grey canvas walls were relieved by pleasant but ordinary
Japanese prints, led to the workshop.
This long,
building
of
well-lit
galvanized
iron
was sharply
but
its
furniture
at one end a
best
show-case
'
On
126
of lettering, of curves
gave a strangely
'
combined
impression of
;
industry and
artiness.'
The
of
was not clean but numerous snippings paper, leather, and cloth, took the edge off its
floor
griminess.
Willie
to
made
the
workshop
Mr.
the
cheerful
sound
of
many hammers.
Tiddy,
his
to
'
superintendent, was trying to teach two apprentices, Miss Brent and Miss Vivien, back a book. From the other end of the room
'
He seemed
to be
;
His name was Carter and he was the real instructor and mainstay of the bindery, though this position officially belonged
to Mr. Tiddy.
his razor
was
A
it
complexion
shirts
like
that of an
enhanced by the
linen
collarless
coarse blue
word
to
them
in passing,
and were
in-
them
He and
Mr. Carter,
neither of
them
A BREEZY UPLAND
selves situations of
127
some
difficulty
which alarmed,
slightly disappointed.
He He
and muddle, but few signs of that higher life which Mrs. Levi had led him to There was tension in the atmosphere, expect.
noise
much
and no one noticed him. He looked at the girls and their teacher. The book upon which Mr. Tiddy was operating slipped several times during his attempt to put it in the press, and he became annoyed. He gave the unhappy volume a vicious blow with the hammer. Old Carter at the other press was watching him carefully.
'
That'll
do,
it's
Mr.
Tiddy,'
he
said
presently.
'
Remember
a book you're
silent
'itting.'
There was a
interval,
power in the bindery. Tiddy removed his book from the laying-press, and carried it away. Carter
cast a look of disgust after him.
'
Mr. Tiddy
is
a gentleman and
all
that,'
he
girls
particular,
'
much about
But Mr.
backin'.
how
forty year,
and
128
on at the teachin'.
When
'
was a
life.
all
your
don't
you young gents and 'ere, hurryin' and scurryin' and books like you does.'
to
see
ladies as
come
the
hurtin'
of
silently
|
and turned back towards the cutting-press. Willie was early drawn to Mr. Carter, whose
fitted a fresh knife to his plough,
He
illusions
seemed to him
less
of the persons
amongst
whom
dwindling
memory
of the
easily
on
first
whom
he had met
the
who
of labour
from
its
outer shell
by
craft.
The
relation
man
hand to
but there was a sincere is not lovely and beautiful connection between Carter and his work. With him it was a manual religion, faithHe fully followed without any sordid thought. felt slovenly work to be a sin towards his material,
his machine,
He
hated
the
showily-finished
cheap
A BREEZY UPLAND
'
129
Fancy
He
waited
of impatience.
who
looks
and
knows
The
girls
were always
incurring
straining
towards
the
finishing-point,
to be languid
ment.
when construction gave place to ornaBut Willie saw a symbolism even in the
and Carter began
to
paste-pot,
They conversed much together in the intervals and the reaction of homely intuition on convinced idealism made them mutually interesting. Willie would describe books that he had read, and
of work,
motto
of
for a bindery.
was
" We this
'
make a
nice
are each
see the
it ?'
we only
true, isn't
Rather
'Tis,'
but
it's
not
130
and continued
I've
and
all
is
half-roan sprinkled
edges.
And then
it's
for
books
of poetry as to
my mind
table.'
'
Yes,
suppose that
is
so,'
answered Willie
feel
doubtfully.
He had begun
to
the technical
any book could Minor poetry, printed on Japanese vellum and morocco bound, seemed to him as desirable as pocket classics in and found
it difficult
to believe that
its
binding.
plain cloth.
'
Of course that's
all
so,'
said Carter.
'
Insides
of
and
outsides
to
match
that
;
'ud be one
God
Almighty's
own
bindings
care
manage
nice.'
it.
Take
with
Hopkinson.
You
which
it.
It's effective,'
he said.
Hopkinson,'
'
But
A BREEZY UPLAND
answered Carter.
work's
not
solid.
'
131
It's
good
toolin'.
And
:
that
Look at them corners you haven't mitred them neat. You don't want to do your finishin' shop-window style you wants to do it so as it looks right when it's held in the 'and
;
Oh,
can't do
it
over again
!'
said Willie.
'
Then you
ain't
answered Carter.
In spite, or perhaps because, of this tonic discipline, Willie
life
so
happy that he
of his da} 7
impatience or haste.
,
He wished
felt
to savour each
moment
and
bindery,
him
and the tram which took him home, took and less peaceful century.
life
He
the
and discovered their use. They gave his soul a new and inexplicable pleasure. Regular manual occupation steadied him, drawing off his earth energies and leaving his spirit clearer. As he sat at the sewing-press, or mechanically
meaning
pared the edges of leather for the covers of his
Busy hands and dreaming soul balanced one another, and he felt sane, alive, untrammelled. Though the future was still blank to him and the outer world an unsubstantial chaos, he caught the fringes of a larger hope. The symbolic
books, he meditated.
92
i 32
lightness of quiet
of
of
him the existence his body, and sometimes allowed him a glimpse the gateway which leads to the Heaven of the
Industrious.
spirit or
of
Behind labour, he felt, there was Something power which blessed. The misty disease unreality and confusing presence of the Grey
to singleness of
outlook.
And
persons
who
did their
work lovingly
might
for profit,
whose presence still shadowed his daily life. He told some of these thoughts, but not all, to Elsa, who approved them.
'
He
said.
But Miss Mildred Brent and Miss Janet Vivien, the apprentices, who had felt the arrival of a young
man
in
They perceived with acid astonishment that he saw them as Persons, not as Girls and decided that he was
incident in their lives, were disappointed.
;
very odd.
CHAPTER
XII
Then
setting
On
Tyburn's River.'
Blake.
The grief of knowledge is the gain of sympathy. From the moment when Stephen shared Willie's
vision, a link, stronger
forged.
To
was a
rest
and a point
of reference
with
fact.
There came
ideals
its
day.
however,
when divergent
and each
of
prisoners
far as
he might.
some sadness, but temperament the bond-breaker had its way. It was impossible that the ethereal roads on which Willie was destined to travel should suffice for Stephen's more human and adventurous
tread.
i33
134
There
good to walk along at boundary shows trees and sky in nice proportion, and a glint of water On a seat arranged for the enjoyment to the right. of this landscape Mr. Willie Hopkinson and Mr.
running north and south,
sunset-time.
Its
western
of
November
It
afternoon.
There
were
few people
was still too light for lovers, and most had gone home to tea. There had already been a change in their relation. Since Willie entered the bindery, he had become more patient, less assertive towards existence. But Stephen, his eyes once opened upon the unabout.
of the babies
it
peacefully.
learning slowly
almost
unconsciously
to
itch
treat his
and hunt for solutions to the Great Conundrum. He had an inner content, equally removed from piety and despair, which
from
anaesthetized his spirit.
office
and miracles of plate glass and iron girders, had done something toward the introduction of
facades,
measurement, and material, there placed before him. Thus he turned naturally and vehemently
135
that
drawing
office to
world
some clue and some escape from the dread, to which Willie had introduced him. Each time they met he had some new theory to offer but Willie, braced by the tonic society of Mr, Carter, often gave him an attention more repressive than
that was the index of his helplessness, for
to the tangle,
;
enthusiastic.
Sitting
now
in
Stephen's
occult
disciple
talk.
discussion.
to
had been thinking hard, he said, about Appearance as distinguished from Reality. His black hour had
passed
;
medium
at will.
He
Hopkinson.
Willie
was
not
that
pleased.
It
seemed
to
him
inappropriate
and only aware of the darkness through his friend's magnanimity, should take upon himself the propounding of theories and hopeful exploration of the Unknown. He was unique a consoling fact.
He
136
appear to him
ing his
objectionable.
of comradeship.
He
liked his
course
with
Mrs.
Levi did
But
The
spirit
;
of
Mr.
He
to
fidgeted
his phrases,
though
Willie,
meaningless,
as
sion,
was
by
this contradictory
optimism.
He judged
with, to be materialistic.
in crisp sentences
He
suggested to Stephen,
own
industrial
standpoint.
'
Work,' he
said,
'
is
Any
kind of work^
else gives
so long as
you do
it
thoroughly.
Nothing
is
must be something dream that is a persistent element right through the real and the illusion. Learn to know that, and you will learn
But,' said Stephen,
there
How
is
one to learn
it ?'
answered
Willie.
He
137
cross,
resist
To
learn
;
anything
everyone
that
is
really
matters
an argument. seems
busy teaching games. But one can learn to work, and that has a meaning, however useless the material work may seem in itself. Sometimes I know there is something behind
impossible
so
a
'
colourless place.
But we have not got the key.' We have,' said Stephen, and I have found it.' Willie was excessively surprised.
'
What is it ?' he asked rather brusquely. He was not prepared for Stephen's reply.
' '
It is love.'
'
Rubbish
Oh,
I
!'
'
Stephen.
He appeared
'
was dogmatic. But I have found it out lately, and I know it's the truth. Someone has shown me but I needn't go into that. When you know what love is,, you will have found out everything you want to know. It is beautiful, which is enough
more than that. It is the only thing that lights up the Real behind the dream. Oh, Willie, that will save you from the horror of the afterwards. It is the people who have never known love who cannot escape the Grey World. They are held there hunting for the best part of
for
;
me
but
it
is
themselves.'
'
That,'
said Willie,
'
is
nonsense.
Leben
means
of a girl.'
138
'
love.'
'Oh!'
means everything. One finds one's soul in a woman. I have found mine, so I am sure. That is what we are here for to find ourselves in
'
It
lost.'
Willie was filled with a helpless disgust. The contempt which the passionless person feels for To him, it appeared a love is of an acrid kind.
sickly
it
and engagements. In the Hopkinson family it was not referred to in a manner which left room for reverence. Elsa avoided the subject prudence was born in her
existed apart from kisses
;
when
and thanks to her tact he had never analyzed the vague sensations which moved him when he touched
her hand or came unexpectedly into her presence.
It followed that to
make Love
when truth first laid siege to his dreamland, I will find a way back to beautiful thoughts This utterance had remained with Mr. Willie Hopkinson, and inspired a happy vision in which he and Stephen won their way by transcendental paths to the high cold splendour of some
Stephen had
!'
said,
'
seemed that a Lover's Lane was the path Stephen had chosen and Willie, astonished and disappointed, declined to believe
Ineffable Reality.
But
it
that
it
hill.
139
him.
It
affair
it
was a
He was
certain of that.
of
the ecstasy
have taken place in his own heart, without other incentive than that supplied by his busy
seemed
to
imagination.
But
it
was
none
'
the
less
life-
enhancing.
said,
is
enough.
don't
There
is
down
The white
the
Round Pond
a haunted pool,
before him and his mind being occupied with what he was hearing, it did not intrude itself on He saw the row of the simple vision of his eyes.
which were near him, very black to the last They were filmy twig stretched out from the earth.
trees
And
of
visible,
in
the
sky behind
after rain
autumn
threw
one tree into fresh tone-relations with the rest. Behind the horizon, distant trees were blue.
that sky, strangely transparent
On
all,
like a face
whose
apparent candour
veils
an unfathomable
soul.
140
removed him many worlds from Stephen's sentimental commentary on life, and led him to think dreamily and luxuri-
The magic
this
vision
He
of
angular furniture
set
with
The effortless masterpiece of nature now before him revealed these things as ugly and unskilful. All the nobility they possessed came from the industry which created them the
;
towards a craftsman's
'
ideal.
said
abruptly,
'
is
the
Purgatory
'
of the inefficient.'
Oh
yes,
that's
'
just
what
it
meant,'
replied
Stephen happily.
to climb
And
is
and struggle and perfect ourselves.' all what Willie had meant. But he perceived that argument was useless, and waited
This was not at
some
diffidence, a
messy manuscript
it,'
from
'
his coat-pocket.
have written a
little
thing about
he
said.
Willie
secret,
knew
matter
of several
pounds
in
141
Where
are
you going
to
send
it ?'
he asked,
work produced.
is
This
have written
it
it
for a friend,
and because
think
is
true.
One
it
;
should write
it
down a
bit of truth
when one
I
finds
But
don't care to
pour out
to flick over
He
soul on paper for a lot of idle women between a muffin and a yawn.' was pleased with this sentence, and looked
my
toward his friend for appreciation. But Willie was It was fading to dim again entranced by the sky.
silver
feel
melanvivid
own
occurred to him.
He enjoyed
them
the sadness
the hall-
of
to be
mark
He
Stephen had commenced the reading of his story. The opening paragraphs had already gone by, and
he took up the thread
'
in the
midst
of a sentence.
"
little
dancing fauns
waters of
the happy nymphs and the and he sat down alone by the Lethe, and took some red earth from the
So Pan
left
;
And
whilst he played
" Then Pan took his pipes and blew on them softly, and the image moved and stood upright on its feet.
142
'
See
!'
he
cried,
'
'
and said " Nay, friend, not so fast. More than red clay and wild music go to the making of Man.' And his breath, coming gently over the river, fell on the figure, which opened its mouth and spoke.
'
' '
"
'
This
It
'
"
'
is a fine toy we have made,' said Pan. must be made better yet,' his Master
replied.
'
"
his skill.
'
"
It is
finer,
good enough,' he
for I
'
can carve
is
it
no
'
have no
tools.
and easily crumbles away.' But the Master answered It needs no tools from the weakness of the earth and the virtue of my breath shall come its beauty. A day of toil and a night of rest, and Man will be perfected.' " Then he set the image on a very dreary hillside, and he marked a rough path before its feet and Pan and his Master sat down to watch their Some time they watched him, but he did not toy. move he stood on the hill where the Master had
fragile,
"
'
'
"
We must urge
him on,' said Pan and he took The air he played was fierce
;
at its
sound the
the pipes.
Man
started
Pan laughed
as he laid
down
143
'
"
It is
do not
know
a better
!'
Hunger
food,
is
moves
the world
beasts
whom
he hunted, the
dim.
"
He stumbled very
his
!'
'
pitifully
way.
cried
Poor wretch
Pan
'
he cannot
see.
We
'
must give him better eyes.' " But the Master said No if he saw what was before him he would have no courage to climb. Truth is for the gods alone.' " So Pan refrained, and the toy was left in his blindness. But presently dark clouds came up from the mountains and hid the sun, and a bitter wind blew across the river and made sad sounds amongst the rocks. Then heavy shadows fell on
:
:
'
diminished
"
and
have
at
last
complete despair.
'
'
We
'
tried
him too
said
the
Master.
to be
'
He
is
he needs
companioned on his way.' " His hand caressed the rock which edged the pathway and suddenly a figure of mist and sunlight stood by the lonely traveller, and shed a radiance on the darkened road. But Pan, who cannot love an ethereal essence, viewed the newcomer with great disdain.
;
144
'
What
use
is
?'
he growled.
cannot hew wood or hunt game. At most he will only draw foolish pictures, or tell lying tales.'
' '
He
"
'
What
?'
of
that,
if
he
make
'
the
hills
seem
shorter
It
is
could ever do.' " So Art was born. " Now the Man stepped out more bravely, and
'
'
always his comrade was by his side to whisper sweet stories, and point out new beauties in sky
or earth
;
grew languid,
and he
life.
'
Aha
!'
cried Pan,
idle.
'
We
dreamy
fellow
And
at Man's side.
the
Woman
"
!
her not.
{
said
'
:
god
clay
and he turned the brightness of his face toward the Man and Woman, so that they shrank back, dazed and awed. But they saw each other, in that bewildering moment, illuminated by the light
of Love.
'
145
amongst stones, in the sun and the rain, each helping the other and working for the common
good.
"
And
'
fell,
!'
the
Man
last
whispered,
steep slope.
as he bore the
'
Woman
up the
!'
"
'
It
'
and the
The hardships
its
even improved
'
form.
give our toys after all their toil ?' " But his only answer was
the
sigh
of
the
it
cried
!'
"
'
and
stuffed
it
Then he waited
rather
It's
by
'
Pauline thought
it
beautiful
!'
said Stephen.
But Willie did not hear him. The spell of narrative was broken, the cold magic of the sky had called him back, and he missed the astounding information which Stephen's last words conveyed.
10
CHAPTER
XIII
friend
is
person with
whom
may be
sincere.'
Emerson.
The
things which are called little are oftenest those which put persons in the disposition to act. They
spur
the
emotions
gently
but
sufficiently
the
upon the
soul,
and
of Pan and his Master left an impreson Willie's mind. Like most boys who possess sisters and lead a sequestered life, he did not tend
The story
sion
Pauline,
But
by the
clumsy parable, and now inclined him to look upon girls in a manner strange to him, if normal to manIt seemed to him that work, in its spiritual kind. aspect, might gain an added value, were it linked with a friendship more equable than the fevered
service
147
now
felt
for his
of
fellow-traveller
Stephen.
of
He had no thought
comradeship.
utilitarian measure.
marriage, only
an
idyllic
Matrimony, he supposed,
was a purely
bindery, and perceived Mildred Brent, the less significant of the lady apprentices, walking before him.
She was a small, neat, mouse-like person and, by the fact of her unsuggestive face, seemed the living
;
negation of her
own temperament.
Hair turned
brown eyes
ready-made clothes and a London accent these tell no tales. But a fire and a coldness lived side by
side in her heart
:
fire for
the present.
and the mingled art and commerce of the bindery. She longed to escape to those higher circles of handi-craft which are celebrated in the art magazines. Yet a sense of humour, running on disastrously commonplace lines, kept her from the appearance of aestheticism which would have best expressed her inner state. Picturesque dress was only possible to her in the best materials. She had two ambitions to become a member of the Arts and Crafts Society, and buy her clothes at Liberty's. These seemed unattainable. She was content that they should be so. But she would not offer herself the
10
148
She had her secret pleasures. As she walked now in front of Willie, she noticed with appreciation the
white glitter of some raindrops caught on the bare and was glad to find herself twigs of a plane-tree
;
capable of
Mr. Willie
Hopkinson perceived the touch of assurance which this sudden contentment gave to her pose, silhouetted for him against a red-brick
pleased him.
villa still in
It
He knew
;
unobtrusive loveliness
could
and
him
also landscape
The
lights
of
London, her crown of topaz and opal, flashed into instant existence on a wintry afternoon, or the sudden
vision of trees folded in blue mist, revived a fever
Still
young enough
to
hope
common might
presuppose a
She had now that mysterious significance which may acquire if we look at it with sufficient
It distinguished her, as
intention.
an aureole might,
from
feel
all
It
became impera-
tive that
He
liked to
little
He saw
149
The shop
dealt also in
household.
and other sordid necessities of the But Mildred thought that she detected
on the face
of the proprietor of
'
a look of
relief
when
artists'
and feeling this to be a sign of grace, she endured smells of soap and tallow, and encouraged him.
Miss Brent was aware, without turning her head,
of Willie
In
women
She thus entered the bindery with his image pleasantly fixed in her mind, and spoke of him to Janet Vivien in phrases which a grammarian might have
parsed as Conditionally Possessive.
Miss Vivien, however, was not sympathetic.
detested Willie.
Vestal,
She
She had
to exhibit
and liked
them
her no opportunity.
than that of defence against an attack which never comes. Because he did not make advances for
him
to be
an excessively ill-mannered
young man. Her father was a clergyman of uninteresting orthodoxy she had been reared amongst grey proprieties. She knew that her hair was particularly nice soft, and warmly flaxen, with a fascinating twist in it. The elder Mr. Hopkinson, on
;
150
had looked
approval.
at her
first judicially,
and
finally
with
He
;
moving type
they
For these reasons Janet thought that she, rather than Mildred, should have wakened Willie's dormant manliness. Mildred's hair was sepia-colour, a lank and unpoetic mass. Her accent frequently annoyed
Miss Vivien, whose
ecclesiastical.
'
own
'
if
It
Hopwas
unless
one
or
it
was impertiIn
It
wasn't
either
the
to
the other.
it,
fact,
now
'
come
think of
I've noticed
before
'
!'
Oh, so would you,' said Mildred violently, if Anything to avoid noticing you felt like me
'
'
!'
no use to be discontented.' Is it disconI'm starved ? who've got plenty People ? tented to be hungry seem to think it is. Don't you see that this place and all its pretences don't satisfy you if you want
It's
'
Discontented
to live
It's
feed you
it
keeps an ache
if it
alive.
Oh,
would
notice anything
would make
!
me
forget to notice
that
But
I'll
escape
I'll
get to
know
the bright
151
people,
who know
the difference
!'
between
?'
'
That's true.
Sometimes
being.
human
Mr.
Tiddy thinks he
that's
'
mind, and
why
his people
Nice compliment to us
Isn't
it ?
'
But
there's
something
in
it.
It
makes me
feel
'
said
;
Mildred slowly.
is
But
it
so strange
the colour
said.
During
Miss Brent was She knew her attitude to be superior to Janet's, and her understanding greater but Miss Vivien possessed the knack of creating the opposite
not happy.
impression.
152
It is
and
specially so
Before a
when you know that you are not one. week was over, the atmosphere of the workShe lived
Being ignorant
known
to say that
sacrifice
spoiled a good
She refused to
a friendship because
She was
suffi-
know
but
still
His queerness
it
lacked colour.
He
defect.
But she
felt
hand which should hit off the fetters from her soul. At this time, when Janet's point of view was painfully obvious and Willie's attitude as yet indefinite, Mildred sought refuge in her work, and
chained her attention to the creation of a wonderful
book-cover for a
writer
'
Christmas play,
of
called
by
its
A Masque
Marye's
Childinge.'
One
copy for the author had been printed on large paper and this she dressed in cloudy blue leather, whereon inlaid wash-leather sheep were kept by
;
153
and complimented Miss it very kindly he was acquiring some of his father's condescension towards women. Have you read the book ?' she said. She was quick to seize opportunities for congenial
Brent upon
'
conversation.
'
No
it
well spoken
I
of.'
'
expect.
He
is
What do you
think of
it ?'
There
said.
is
'
it,'
she
And, I think, that combination of paganism and pageantry is very attractive. After all, few people are more truly and artistically Christthan the heathen.'
original
like
by Mildred's
of the
methods
of
work
the despair
spirit.
own
Bookbinding
crafts,
the
most conservative
is
of
the
and
apt to
be considered as a vice.
vanity of iperiors. Tiddy.
irritates
the tender
The idea had never occurred to them, and they were sure that it was wrong. Yet she was modest in respect of her performance, being easily deceived by the apparent excellencies of selfadvertising craftsmen.
154
But she found no peace. Heredity was disastrous to her happiness. Romanticism in her was crossed by a strain of obtuse convention. Her father, a brilliant and unpleasant man, early perceived that he could never hope to find a woman who was his intellectual equal. He therefore
of escape.
way
that his
best
chance
of
serenity lay
in
fool.
He
chose a
Mrs. Brent
an argument, or that it is useless for the naturally dull to attempt to shine. Too stupid for intellectual joys, yet not quite stupid enough for unconscious content, she became a miserable compromise
between parrot-house and parlour.
Her husband had said to her, whilst their married was still young, My dear, you will never be wise. Pray God you may become more foolish.' But she did not. She remained difhly perceptive, and was always wretchedly aware of her own denseness when she failed to see one of her daughter's
life
'
infrequent jokes.
Mildred,
blending
the
characteristics
of
both
pathways
in life for
;
want
of the
mental
agility
155
by lack
Subjective stupidity
To
Willie,
so difficult
and
desirable.
He
thought that
Mildred
might
and
patronage pleasant.
new when he
own
failure to
As a
be
he
should
sometimes
incomprehensible.
The higher he was above her now, the greater his power of leverage should he choose to exert it. She was not yet of the incorrigible company of dreamers, but knew that in that direction lay her
hope.
won
its
way
He was
He imagined
and despise
soft tendencies
even as he did.
He ranked
of intelligence
whose society pleased him. Gradually he discovered that he was more comfortable in her presence than in that of Mrs. Levi more certain of his own identity. To Elsa, he would
:
156
she
baffled
Stephen,
who
its
interpretation at
every turn.
intelligent
Willie
now
and subservient,
whom
he could point
respite
its little
moment
of
knowledge
ness of
life
would help, not hinder, the real busithe journey of his soul toward truth.
His dignity would be safe
drew toward one another one craving for a wider, the other for a more peopled world. In each, the dominant motive was an
egoism.
Willie desired that
So two
one other
whom
who had stepped into the narrow circle which hemmed her in and clung to his hand in the hope
:
its
boundaries into
an ideally interesting society where her work would be appreciated, her intellectual longings fed, and
157
come
to the
of nourish-
ment now denied her. But whilst Willie the dreamer saw no need to exchange these silent fancies for the awkward paraphrase of speech, Mildred became anxious and
insecure.
intuition,
She believed herself to be possessed of but was actually unable to assure herself
any but concrete facts. She wanted a sign from Her imaginathis elusive and desired companion. it beguiled, but did not tion was only skin-deep
of
;
convince her.
The word came but, being long awaited, did not They were walking together to the tram after a day spent in dreary forwarding. Willie's performance had not pleased Mr. Carter, who had
;
satisfy.
It's
extraordinary
'e
how
slip-slop a
young chap
gets once
starts
on
courtin','
he had said.
and an occasion
'
of confusion to Mildred.
:
He
said
think
shall
go
now
to-day.
can't do
those books.'
get
out of ear-shot,
Mr.
Hopkinson
!'
he said.
As he walked down Titian Road toward the High Street with Mildred by his side, Willie felt upset,
158
depressed,
tion to be imperative.
explanaher
:
she
was looking
and holding her skirt with one badly-gloved hand. A sudden shyness had him by the throat. It choked him. He
straight before her,
But presently an omnibus passed close to the It was a day of liquid mud he was obliged hastily to draw back from the ensuing splashes. In doing so, he touched Mildred's arm, and at once felt more at his ease. I want your I am lonely he said abruptly. friendship We are in sympathy, I know. But I am not there are things that I must tell you.
curb.
:
'
!'
'
'
'
Yes,' he said,
'
am
'
It
He
am
an im-
and
substantive.
'
a little, and then added two worlds.' The phrase came to Mildred as a spark in darkI live
He thought
in
ness.
It startled,
She did
of
moment
com-
munion
tory
'
who needed
Book
explana-
titles to
of Life.
How
interesting
she said.
CHAPTER XIV
BUT THE ROAD BECOMES MUDDY
'
How
If
it
could he see what is hid were not so, the lover ? How could he say, " She alone and no other"
Maya,
illusion
!'
Alice Herbert.
offer
his
sympathy
was held
in
ridiculous.
He
commanding
position.
tions to
unwelcome complicaEach step of his road was now disputed by the varied powers within him by a restless, poetic imagination, as yet scarcely conscious of itself; by a confused and unhappy soul fearful of all entanglements by a body which age was ripening for assertion. Stephen's influence, which he distrusted but could not escape, urged love upon him as the sacrament of a spiritual reality. The unromantically robust
factors were bringing
his
New
view
of the universe.
i59
160
Pauline,
still
and
Willie
was compelled
to unwiiling atten-
and laid bare to him the very human transports which he mistook for illumination of the soul. Stephen had a way of calling to spend the
evening with Mr. Willie Hopkinson, thus placing himself, as he said, in Pauline's aura if not in her
presence.
As a matter of fact, like many tactful people, she did the wrong thing in a spirit of pure kindliness, and made a point of leaving the two
youths together in the dining-room whilst she retired
It to do needlework in another part of the house. was then that Willie's acid comments on Stephen's ardours would lure his friend on to explanation and defence. Can't you understand ?' he said one day when the controversy had been specially embittered. It seems so odd, because you never lost the light you have intuitions which ought to help. You're a mystic if you are anything, and yet you deny Love; and Love's the only mysticism that's any use.'
'
'
'
Perhaps
so,
when two
!'
other.
'
But Pauline
Pauline
;
You
?'
said Stephen,
'
when
I idealize
when
make her
;
me of woman in the world that I imagine my own words to be actual and literal think her other than a human girl ?'
for
THE ROAD BECOMES MUDDY
'
161
'
;
but you
will before
you've
done.'
'
shan't.
is
shall
it
is
just
because she
my
girl
means
in a
so
much.
find his
Madonna
woman
woman may
man.
self to
In giving your-
to
you
'
?'
can't see
it.
It's a
chain,
tie to earth.'
'
No,
it's
way through
love,
really
an escape.
The
power
of
your
is
you
see, is
earth-object, because
and goes on far beyond the end, perhaps, it finds the True Beauty,'
the love
real,
But and in
His
known
He
rather tired,
and began
consat
his knee,
and now
purring
with
assured
condescension
obliging archangel.
Bertie Anthracite
of an Hopkinson
was a cat
of intelligence
first
and charm.
His names,
emblematic
further
Stephen,
so
alert
in
his
sympathies toward
vated
a
had
ii
culti-
mesmeric
touch
which
made
Bertie
162
much
as they pleased
his sister;
dignified
games
the house
once
an stirred
It
dormant
self.
between him and the world. They affected his outlook, and at times he dreamed that an ideal love
might indeed be the Graal
of his quest.
Mildred's
;
he
his fears,
He
played with
it.
The
Dimension rushed back. He dreaded the chain of and came hastily to his old earthly interests attitude of determined detachment. But he could no longer look on Miss Brent as a Person rather than a Girl. His environment warred against this happy neutrality, and steadily
;
still
He watched
by
the light
persistent
of
presentation
courtship,
of
Mildred in
dimmed
the idea of
163
You might do
'
b}' as to
is
what
and
I'll
allow
'er toolin's
very
nice.'
remote,
therefore
interesting,
;
attitude.
His
attentions
were meaningless
he seemed content
ebb and flow between friendship and passion. Young Hopkinson doesn't seem much inclined
'
said Janet
since
herself,
Mr.
Tiddy's
interest
and
pitied Mildred's
equivocal position.
'
What
a vulgar idea
'
flirtation
is quite sufficient.'
be unexpected,
Heaven. She liked to think that her friendship was an intellectual one, and had nothing in common with an ordinary entanglement. It meant much
that she should be preferred before Janet, whose
fascinating
plexion.
was enhanced by a good comself-control did not annoy herHe appreciated her, and she him. He lived in town, and brought the air of a larger world to the workshop. She, coming every day from her cheap
hair
Willie's
11
164
and hideous home on the edge of a newly-developed Much building estate, envied and admired him. of Elsa's philosophy was now repeated for Mildred's benefit, and increased her respect for Willie's
cultivated mind.
was noticeable
of
in the
had was known, vaguely but universally, that Mr. Tiddy and Miss Vivien had been carrying on.' The fall of Propriety is generally more sudden than elegant. Janet's descent amused even Mr. Carter, A less virtuous, more experia Puritan at heart. enced maiden might have repelled Mr. Tiddy's onslaught with success but she had allowed him to
bindery.
Its
happy atmosphere
security
full of fretfulness.
It
'
kiss her
Now
week.
of
opposite end
with
sullen
energy.
Both were suffering from and beside this the decline from
loss of dignity,
virtue
seemed
insignificant.
Willie Hopkinson,
These events reacted on Miss Brent and Mr. and caused them to realize their
Mildred,
emotion an amusement or a
165
showed no
disposition
towards
kissed.
inconvenient
passions.
was a demonstration
of
the
psychology
fortable,
the
crowd.
Willie
was
uncom-
depressed.
He
could
not
understand
an irritating condition. He had felt uneasy lately when away from Mildred, yet dissatisfied when he was with her; and his mind,
himself
;
which despised
his
it.
who was
used for heating the workshop dried the air too much, and lowered his vitality. The only remedy
for this, she
founded distrust
supplied
the
local
she
made
cake,
him with lunches of meat-pie and homeand a patent medicated cocoa which
liver.
retired to the
Sun
in
and Mr. Tiddy and Miss Vivien vanished Then towards secret places where they fed. Mildred, who took her poor lunch of buns and apples at the bindery, did illicit cookery upon the finishing stove, and shared Willie's cocoa in a spirit of pure
comradeship.
Art,
These
picnics,
when
they
sat
delightful.
had developed a familiarity both innocent and Once or twice he had called her his
166
little sister,
and she had pretended to like it. It made Mrs. Hopkinson very happy to find that her
through
this
son got
quarter-pound
tin
of
cocoa
every week.
day they were nervous, shy of each which neither desired an introduction had been forced upon them. Mildred's manner was slightly frosty there was an unusual formality in Willie's phrases. It was a grey day in February he was miserable. Weather affected his outlook, and he felt earth-bound and hopeless. It seemed that their happy friendship was in danger, and he suddenly realized all that it had meant to
other.
But on
possibility to
him.
Aren't you happy ?' said Mildred abruptly. He had only eaten half a mutton-pie and one piece of
'
cake.
'
No,' he said.
'
Anything wrong
is
?'
'
Nothing's wrong,
so
Everyinto the
thing
medium.
truth,
When
try
and look
life
ahead
me no
I
'
no sincerity
everything sordid,
earthy.
I
dread
if
it.'
had your life to live, I should be happy. You have clever friends, you're in the movement, you can develop your powers. You haven't got to be always thinking about what sort of work pays best. Suppose you had to live down here, with nothing beautiful to see, no cultivated
think,
I
167
hope
'
of escape
differ-
ence
? Only in externals, after all. You think I have more chance of finding myself than you have, a better environment, more freedom. I haven't really. We're both struggling in chains, you and
silly,
soft chains
we
can't break.
My
if
existence
is
you only
knew
it. I sometimes wonder whether there are any real existences, any real meanings in life. I muddle along through a world of spectral nothings, and never leave them behind. I'm lost in them, they shut the light out, and yet they're unreal.'
'
felt
that too
that
It's
feeling
that one
only in
dreams
come near them perhaps it's in dreams But it's horrible when one thinks that I live best. one has only one life, and it's going going all the
I
time.'
It
his
own.
She
was
dissatisfied
He
feel
that
I
?'
he said.
'
I've been
my
life
because
I
who
I
felt
just as
did about
1 68
that
its
shape
as a whole.'
a subtle flattery.
roused the
woman
in Mildred to the
of the artist,
fatal
utterance.
to
actress,
I've
too,'
she
answered.
'
No
my
outside doesn't
match
my
soul.
I
It's
horrid to look
it.
who
could help
me
to live
my own
life.'
A
upon
sudden vision
Willie's
of
inner eye.
near to her
and his hopes. He was standing very and now he saw her radiant, trans;
He
It
seemed to Mildred
saw nothing but a coloured blur before him. Then the connection between mind and action snapped. He became an automaton in the hands of a strong emotion, and words came to him so quickly that he could not arrange them in order, as he might have done in a quieter hour. Oh, don't wait !' he said. I want you I want you What does it matter about dreams of the future ? That's nothing. I'm here, and you're
Really, he
' ' !
!
THE ROAD BECOMES MUDDY
here,
all
169
That's
live.
and we can't do without one another. that matters. Dearest I'll make you
!
We
shall
find
the
together.
The heart
He
a timid,
inexperienced kiss.
rather
thing,
mean
ideals,
an accident,
emotions.
appalled
She
hated
crude
?'
she said.
There was
the
heels
impulse
he
had
strongly
the
own
that
of
standing
aside
and watching
In a
mood
of entire
amused,
critical,
almost interested.
He began
to
wonder what strange being had spoken by his lips. He noticed that his body was curiously excited by the attitude it had taken up. Its pulses raced, it
trembled helplessly,
its
him
he,
who had
170
He wanted Mildred he was pleased to for now she was passive in his arms, and he knew that she was won he could not dis:
himself
altogether
from
Is
his
sex.
But
this
of
his
emotion.
soul
in
'
this
all
Is
the
feverish
him
some
other
and
irresistible
impulse
drew
his
situa-
And
'
thought.
How
!'
she
said to herself.
At the end of an afternoon spent in simulating an elaborate unconcern, Miss Brent and Mr. Hopkinson parted with such emotional display as the
publicity
of
Titian
Road
allowed.
Each,
for
different reasons,
was anxious to be very modern and collected. But they could not help feeling agitated, even upset, by what had occurred.
Mildred, always verbally cynical in matters relat-
came from her first encounter with it surprised and rather sad. Her official views had been unconsciously modified by the softer imagiing to love,
nations
invited
of
her
favourite
novelists.
These
now
with
of the ideal
171
the
first
touch.
feel
sufficiently
its
to
own
sensations.
founded on light
Hers was that spurious love fiction, which debases the currency.
The thorough
branches of
training she had received in all Ornamental Design made her capable,
artistic
possibilities
the situation.
She
felt
He was the most abnormal young man she had ever met. He affected her like a Voysey wall-paper, and this alone proved how suitable he was to become the background of her life. But his wooing, coming as the last term comof an intellectual friendship, should have Wuthering bined the emotional atmosphere of
laws of composition.
'
Heights
march.'
'
'
Middle-
was very well read. Willie's hurried onslaught had been on a different level from the passionate epigrams of her dreams. It was breathless and ungrammatical its phrases
;
growing
was not satisfied. She had been too hasty. The whole incident now struck her as tame and its memory annoyed her the more when she remembered that for a moment it had
that she
:
contrived to
make
172
no answer to the question. She felt hot with shame as she thought of the wild moments when she had trembled in his arms and their sudden,
find
inelegant separation
in the corridor.
Carter's step
He had
together at
suspected.
accessories
it
them the finishing bench. Probably he had A sudden loathing of love and its vulgar
her.
It
overcame
like
was very
bookbinding
;
but
made
its
technique, of ordinary,
But
home, a sense of comfort and softened the curve She was Engaged and only
;
an emancipated
woman
full
joy of
The homeward soliloquy of Mr. Willie Hopkinson was not much more cheerful than that of Miss Brent. He too had suffered a certain disillusion, though the more romantic disposition of the amorous male kept him from the depths of his fiancee's cynicism. It had seemed to him in the moment before he kissed Mildred that a great light was about to break upon his life that its local colour was going to be of an
;
indefinite
golden
tint,
THE ROAD BECOMES MUDDY
brown
of
173
the
past.
unknown beauty
tell
him
to love.
He
could not
fulfilled.
The afternoon's
:
he would have
preferred
more violent
still
contrast.
Grey World
taste
come.
Willie
had a pretty
metaphor.
He
away
had
all.
The engagement caused some stir, but little Mr. Hopkinson said that it was inWillie was only one-and-twenty, fernal nonsense. and juvenile marriages were bad for the race. Mrs. Hopkinson only hoped that Mildred was a thoroughly nice girl but her inflection was sceptical. Fiction and France together have contrived to discredit the art-student, and Willie's friends were
;
usually peculiar.
at
whose
altar he
it
had
so long
as a personal grief.
'
had hoped,' she remarked to her husband, that he would have too much sensibility for this. Love but only when is the most beautiful of the passions it has no ulterior object can it really minister to
:
the higher
life.'
of the
Middle
174
Ages,
to worship at the
of reward.
feet of
'
was
really beautiful.
An engagement,
think,
is
almost indelicate.'
She had some justification for annoyance. had been the first hand extended to help
to
Hers
Willie
escape
the
stagnation
of
of
family
life.
Now,
intelligent youth,
he
his
left
own
well.
He had
learnt to appreciate
women, and
desired
to possess one.
He
Mildred,
way, and
He
love.
in
Elsa
felt
that she
was
Yet she still busied herself with his well-being, and appeared interested in the engagement. She
even allowed him to bring Mildred to tea with her
and
told
girl.
Mrs.
HopShe was
woman
seemed unnecessary, and Willie did not really appreciate it. But in matters of sentiment Mrs. Levi was an expert diplomatist. She had early divined
the true state of his emotions
the connection might not
;
be on Mildred's
side.
CHAPTER XV
A
WAYSIDE SHRINE
'
Now
A
And
But
Amen, Amen
but finde
L.
I.
!'
Guiney.
He found
is
in her streets
seldom permitted
Seeing her
and
it
as a
dream-town
has
foundations, he
herself so to be.
knew
Now
Mildred,
and
176
returned to him.
over his
and compelled a
he
lover-like de-
meanour which
found
wearisome,
and
she
lacking in enthusiasm.
peculiar
austere, cloistral
it
it
may
but
hates an entanglement.
when he could
discovered that
on the pavements, or
a
bit
in
museums
He
Limoges enamel, or a casket of old French ivory, may be the best of companions to those who can concentrate their attenEducation now tion and hear its thin faded voice. helped him to appreciate exquisite handiwork and the immortality of works of art, which, once created, outlive their fragile makers and take their place amongst eternal things, struck his imagination.
;
On
he
first
tatious
shop-fronts
squalid tenements,
dark passage between the dingy houses. It was not a thoroughfare a swing-door under an arch
;
closed
its
;
farther end.
Willie
had
a curiosity for
doors
may
He was
Then he
walked
down
the
passage.
A WAYSIDE SHRINE
177
saw that it was a church door, and paused. Churches had never attracted him. But at that moment it opened, and a young man came out. He had a clever face, the thin, nervous hands of an artist, ardent eyes which shone with grave rapture, as of one who has been about a happy business. Willie had not imagined it possible that
should enter a church on a week-day. He was greatly astonished. Almost mechanically, he caught the door as it swung to, and went in. It was a large church, with wide aisles, a high
men
vault, transepts
ture he
plan.
The
first
which soothed his senses. He was nervous, not knowing the meaning of the things he saw, or what
his
own
right of admittance
and he
An
influence,
though
He had
clue
had
of a
left
to this experience
new form
life.
so
so remote
yards
cheerful
178
exhibitions.
did not know what to make of and these quiet people who passed this him. He had been accustomed to live with the but here his want of compresense of aloofness inferiority, not detachment. He hension came from had suddenly come upon a new country. He remembered old stories of people who had found an open door, and walked through it into fairyland and realized that the door which shut silently behind him had cut him off as a prison gate might
; ;
the long aisles. They were by coloured windows in the Far away, he saw lights burning, and south. It all seemed to him persons who knelt by them. profoundly unnatural. He felt as if he had pene-
He
looked
down
misty,
half lighted
trated to the
home
human an unsuspected world within the world. A woman passed by him. In the street, he would have known her for a very ordinary, well-behaving
person,
caught up by the
her as
He watched
made
simply and without shame before an altar. It seemed to him that she stayed there a long time he dared not move, because of the tension of her
:
attitude.
came away.
Her
face as she
No
A WAYSIDE SHRINE
take a hansom or the omnibus and go
her real
life
179
had been
in the
its
gods.
It
was evident
The
little
empty
S.
of worshippers.
the
shrines of
Joseph and
gifts.
Anthony, crowded with votive Willie looked up, and his eye was caught by
S.
a mysterious invocation
letters
words, written
'
in tall gold
!
He
seemed a strange, majestic utterance. He felt the full weight of its tremendous appeal. Veni, Creator Spiritus ! this, after all, was what
People, then,
came
above
living
own tormenting
interest,
an attitude, an
life.
They were
an air he could not breathe, amongst realities which he could not apprehend. He looked back down the aisles. Everyone else was kneeling.
Willie,
Evidently,
it
was
right to do this.
symbol.
it is
He
also knelt.
He
180
place.
being observed
foolish.
and
hot,
But with the deliberate humility, there came He felt a. power near him a a new sense of peace. purifying as the Angel's wing which touch, new and fanned Dante's forehead on the mount. I think that he was purged of the sin of pride in that moment. He rose with a knowledge of his ignorance such aware that he, the as he had never yet possessed unworldly person whose unique perceptions showed
;
:
him the blindness of his neighbours, the hollowness of life, was himself without understanding, blind and speechless, when ushered suddenly into the
presence of one of the spiritual secrets of the world.
But he divined the beauty which he could not comAs it quieted him, gave him new hope. to passage squalid the grey he went out, and down the street, he passed a little shop- window where
prehend
:
statues
and
rosaries
were for
sale.
There were
some books, too. The Garden of the Soul.' of them Why, that is what this place should be
He
noticed the
'
'
he
said.
He came back
of the
and again
charm which drew him there. Once he heard It was a High Mass sung, and was disappointed.
it
He
loved
place
moments
when the
was
When
love outweighed
A WAYSIDE SHRINE
ceremonial respect, and showed
simplicity, tears
his
itself in
181
a familiar
for
came
to his eyes,
and sorrow
dumbness
to his heart.
He knew
then that a
beautiful reality
him
visible
But the
;
music and the incense were no part of that vision they confused the image and frightened it away.
curious change
books read
spirit
in
was worked in Willie by this He came back now to the past, and found in himself a new
Phrases long familiar raised
of evocation.
veils
unsuspected
their eyes,
and permitted him to look into and there read messages and prophecy.
friends, loved for their verbal magic,
now
understood.
From
But Mildred had no share in his new radiance. Her eccentricity, cool, well-balanced, deliberately fostered, was at the opposite pole of idealism from Willie's dim intuition of beauty and holiness. The sun which lit his newly discovered country plunged her into a winter of shade. Caught up by the grave
fascination of the sanctuary, he thought contemptu-
and wondered what would be left of his passion for Mildred when once he had thrown off Already, he felt a change in the shackles of sense.
of love,
off
her
182
the
trimmed
rade,
hat.
It
dressy
blouse
that he loved
girl
whom custom
He
compelled him to
had been
lost it.
now he had
Companion who would lead him up the hill. He must climb that path alone and Mildred, in the valley, would always be a drag upon his steps. Divergent ideals soon became apparent. He told her of his religious intuitions, and she was vexed. Catholicism was fashionable, but had many inconveniences. She wondered how many more fads Willie would develop. As persons professionally connected with wall-papers end by decking their own rooms in whitewash, so Mildred's association
;
Engagement necessarily involved some readjustment of her point of view. Originality in a friend is often eccentricity in a husband. She was determined to manage Willie she wished him to get on. There was in Mildred that strain of meanness which
:
She
nor weigh
and happiness against her own rebel, lious ambitions. Love, pleasant as an entree, could never form the staple of her life. But when she attacked him for his dreamy out-
A WAYSIDE SHRINE
look,
183
she
expect.
'
What
'
is
to take a
get on so
they're not.
And
surely
Nothing's easier.
Alle
you
want
tion
;
is
that
should banish
my
sense of propor-
and
after all
life.
very early in
open the
books
*
game
is
up
the
the
again.'
it isn't
That's
all
way
'
Get on
Who
wants to get on
?
W hat does
T
it
It's
the afterwards
Oh,
religion.'
'
Religion
It isn't religion
it's reality.
What-
life's
only a tiny
and
it's
Well, you
I'd rather
all
may
know
it.
make
invest
'
my
capital in a dream.'
'
;
un-
do know
it.
184
you understand me, but I see now that it was only a fancy of your own that you understood. You bathe your mind in a froth of mysticism because it amuses you and makes you feel clever, but you don't believe in it one bit. I don't have to believe it. because I know. It isn't a case of intuition or anything like that, it's a case of what has happened. I wasn't always Willie Hopkinson. I lived once
a street boy in the slums.
years old then, and
I
died once.
was ten
my view of life was rather like But I passed over into the horrible country where the Dead, who made the most of life, as you
yours.
wish to do,
empty
loneliness
because
I'll
when
not
saw the world you and I live in now, as the shadow and the dream it really is yet I longed to get back into touch with it back to the old pretences, the colour and light. It's not much, but it's all you have to hope for if you chain your ideals to earth-interests and earthbut I've never lost that I've got back success. knowledge. The Grey World is with me all the who time, and the voices of the miserable dead
risk that Hell again.
: :
spent
all their
Mildred shivered.
'
Oh,
don't
is
be so horrible
!'
she
said.
'
Your
imagination
'
positively morbid.'
sense of
A WAYSIDE SHRINE
185
background generally are morbid. Most prophets and truth-tellers have been called that or some-
And
as
quite
right
call
too.
Prophets
and
truth-
tellers,
you
!'
who
'
facts.'
:
Some are but the real One or two have seen truth, and those who know can recognise that element in their vision, however they may wrap
Oh, no
said Willie.
it
up.
thing
who never
no doubt that
if
human
the other
him
dangerous delusions.'
'
this
'
of
?'
Look
sophers
contemplatives
Look
is
all
who
have looked beyond the shadow of earth and seen another Reality, some as a dim reflection, some as a
perfect truth.
all
They
It's
trying to say
ineffable
an
news, not to
I've
be
put down
in
human
symbols.
I'll
find sunshine
I die.'
186
'
Mildred,
'
to bring in
Dante
and people
to
like that.
tried to invent
me
'
that's
They don't
persons do.
And
as for Dante,
and you
call
:
him a
fine
poet
he
he lived too long ago. But suppose that any person came to you now, and said, " I I, who stand
have been over that frontier. I have passed out from this solid, ordinary, modern world, the
here,
and have wandered with the Dead in another dimension, which is near you now, if you would only
believe
it.
And
?
my
knowledge."
is
That
'
real
And
'
And a nice mess he made of his life No one who finds the Ideal as early
it all
'
as he did,
and holds
to
his
It's
life,
said Willie.
what
aim
'
at, helpless
brings that.'
It's all
a dream.'
'
You
it
'
that
'
was
in
best.'
Oh
made one
A WAYSIDE SHRINE
happy
187
not
I
in this.
You may be
?
right or not
to
know
If
you're
wrong, you've
It's
really
think
you're right,
But I can't help knowing.' I won't it, and I won't know have all my hopes and my ambitions poisoned, and made to seem not worth while. I've only one life as far as I know, and I claim it as a right to order it as I think best. You I can't live it on your lines.
'
Meant
Well,
to
have
'
can help
terrify
me.
human
'
if
only you
knew
If
only
could
make you
?'
see
It
seems incredible
in a
'Oh, poor
dreadful
little
dim-eyed
!
he said, 'don't
Can't you
Why
me
feel
But Mildred drew back from him. No, no don't kiss me !' she said quickly. From her tone, one might almost have thought that she was frightened.
'
!
CHAPTER XVI
DIFFICULT PATHS
'
The
was
like
a stream of water
Walter
way Mirabil ia
Testimoma
fun.'
Pater.
its
gates to Mr.
resist a lover at
him because of was caught at last by his freshness and sincerity. To a person of her temperament, his courtship was full of surprises. The ecstasy with which he kissed her well-developed
first
At
disposed to despise
life.
Even her fringe, waved twice daily and confined by a net, had its poetic element for him. In the intervals of playing hockey and making blouses, she
found herself thinking of this odd, intelligent boy. His dark face, his fervent anxious eyes, haunted
She was impressed by his writings. They were obscure, and seemed to her remarkable. Pauline was a wholesome English girl a goodher.
188
DIFFICULT PATHS
tempered,
she
self-reliant
189
animal
Juno.
His
Finally, Pauline
of
his passion,
and
for
time in her
life
As was
right in so
took
anyone should notice the new radiance of her smile. She walked in a delicious dream, and told herself hourly that she was an idiot. But the Hopkinson family, who found in this engagement an antidote to the annoyance of Willie's entanglement, saw other grounds than those of sentiment for hearty congratulation. Pauline was marrying well. She was a sensible girl, and had
sufficient savoir faire to
keep
foreground.
It veiled
she
felt in
dreamy
her.
lover.
Mr.
secret aberration,
To him,
Mr. Miller's consent with astonishing cordiality. extreme youth was no impediment. The best of theories becomes untenable when opposed by an
advantageous
itself
fact.
to take care of
when an
was
in
question.
igo
One may pity Mr. Willie Hopkinson, hemmed in by lovers, yet in other than the Biblical sense
Universally accepted as a
fellowship, he
member
that
happy
suffered, as only a
ment.
had now reduced his life, two spots alone remained where he might hope for peace. In the church of Our Lady of Pity his constant refuge his best, humblest, most hopeful self trimmed its lamp and
patiently
waited
for
the
day.
In
Mrs.
Levi's
meaner personality plumed its ruffled and regained its self-esteem. His position was ridiculous. He should have lived with eyes wide opened on the ugly illusion which indifferent to its his fellow-men had made of life claims, its little vexations and silly excitements. He remembered the hour when he first saw that Heaven and Hell were equally near his grasp that all depended on the attitude his soul took up when he knew that wonderful worlds, more real than the
him,
his
feathers
if
The attitude his soul had taken up was compounded of fractiousness and despondency. He had done nothing with his knowledge and his chances. True, he had tried to open the eyes of two persons to the true meaning and real dangers of life but the experiment had scarcely been successful. One he had estranged, for Mildred's altered manner was
;
DIFFICULT PATHS
unmistakable
191
less as a
the other
She
Miss
admiring her
artistic taste,
her intelligence.
made
the
room
'
feel
But Elsa admired it. the Such a beautiful symbolism,' she said blossom of life blown to your feet by the zephyrs of Dear Willie I'm sure you'll be happy Love.
of crimson serge.
'
together.
Willie
You
listened
her
rather
gloomily.
His
accompani-
and encouragement, and only accepted from Willie those useful attentions and ceremonial gifts which ameliorate even the most
for correction
ments Tiddy
of talent.
tedious engagement.
suffered an eclipse since and Mildred's betrothal, began, under these circumstances, to recover his normal He was lonely. The girls, in air of omniscience. their earlier and simpler developments, had been
Mr. Tiddy,
who had
Janet's departure
192
much
More had been the consciousness to them. Miss Vivien was now placed beyond his reach. He met her occasionally
that he was
much
walking with a
sister of repel-
lent propriety.
It
whom
he
had once thought available but unattractive, was the acknowledged property of Willie Hopkinson. Mr. Tiddy, left without an admirer, watched them working together under Carter's benignant eye, and longed for the advent of some new apprentice on
whom
So
it
came to her side stroking his bristly chin and smoothing the soft collar of his canvas shirt. He had an inner conviction that he was a fine craftsman its sacramental result, as
Mr. Tiddy
regretfully,
;
was absent
store-room.
the
He
Mildred had
He
critical attention.
DIFFICULT PATHS
and
'
193
sea-birds,
vellum doublure.
Very nice !' he said very nice indeed So quaint and original. You are developing quite a style of your own, Miss Brent it's New-Arty, and
'
!
yet
'
it's
individual.'
all
the
We
want freshness
in
he says that
my
'
Ah, yes
;
Carter
of course
all that.'
'
Absurdly
so,
in
my
opinion.
After
all,
Kunst
is all
!
Carter
Look
at the Impressionists
We're
You want
I think, you know, that's where Hopkinson makes such a mistake that is, if he wants to get
And
on
'
Mildred
moved
his
nervously
she
did
not
feel
Tiddy
left
sentence
incomplete.
194
come back to the next press, carrying a roll of cloth and the shears. He looked at Mildred's animated face, and noted Bertram's position. Beg your pardon, Mr. Tiddy,' he remarked, but
'
'
your glue-pot
there'll
will boil
be a mess.'
Bertram retreated. not at what you Get on He'll never get on might call a good class o' bindinY said Mr. Carter. Very different from Mr. 'Opkinson, 'e is always slip-sloppin' and chatterin', thinking about prettiness
'
!
'
he does Art
/ calls
messy within.
with
Now
He
felt it his
duty
later
which recurred
situation, his
at every opportunity.
But though
Mr.
in-
remarks made
neither
little
impression.
Hopkinson was
credulous.
his outer
alarmed,
angry,
nor
and
he forgot, as thoroughly
which
He
lived in a state
DIFFICULT PATHS
of
195
Our Lady
The
influences of an evening at
home.
still
eluded him.
He
Unknown God, and his prayer for no acknowledgment. Yet that the light was there he never doubted and one day a gave to him some measure sign renewed his hope and
knelt before an
light received
:
of serenity.
He came
Host between the ranks of the kneeling congregation. Choir-children walked before the canopy with great baskets of flowers all of the
altar to carry the
They took out the blossoms one by one, and kissed them with the affectionate importance of solemn babies before casting them under the feet of the priest. He, a real and eternal Christopher, bowed down almost with awe of the monstrance he carried, trod carelessly enough upon that exquisite carpet.
It
seemed so small a
sacrifice in the
presence of the
of
God.
it
He
placed
book
it
seemed
powers
of
any natural object that has touched the But still, the passion with
13-2
196
which he kissed
leaves
was
:
idle.
He
left
fog.
He was
tired
out by his
own
by long gazing
at the glory of a
painted saint.
collided with
He
some person
and they found themselves together on the threshold. Willie looked up, apologized, and was ready to pass on but the tall bent figure, the clever senHe sitive face which he saw, seemed familiar. looked again, and met an answering recognition. It was the young man who, coming out with a convinced and happy expression, had determined his first visit
:
to the church.
He
looked
now
and smiled at him. His smile was illuminative. Behind his spectacles, one saw grey eyes of an extraordinary clearness and charity. I've seen you here before,' he said, haven't I ?
'
'
But
'
?'
'No.'
I
thought not.
You have
a person
who
is
But
you
'
will be.'
it is
If
way
'
already.'
'
Isn't
odd
?'
I've often
DIFFICULT PATHS
been
this.
197
in Protestant churches,
They have
world
;
of the
and they never feel like same atmosphere as the rest but here one's feet are not any more
the
in the
is
on
'
earth.'
Ah, no
this is a joint
armour
of
the
material world.
Where
there
you know, the other world presses through into this. The curtain of separation is torn one may get a glimpse of the Vision. That atmosphere which you notice is faith ecstasy the knowledge of spiritual things, which overflows in the soul and affects every:
is
thing
which
near
it.
They
are so
so venerable
saturate
with God.
Me
and
there
am
/."
is
But Protes-
Theirs
the religion of
towards
faith.
You
will
find
their
Yes,
know.'
'
Even
then,
you won't
find
It
of
Englishman
God.'
'
to
people
seem to
They away from the grey, ordinary earth, and find an answer to everything in some heaven that's close to them though it's shut
to me.'
198
'
knocked
!
all
Extraordinary
is still
and
it's
an axiom
He
'
But
that.
It's there,
you know.
And your
set
at an angle
which
once you're
him again as they parted a very friendly smile of sympathy and comfort. Then he turned down a neighbouring street and walked away
smiled at
quickly.
He
tall,
and bent shoulders Then he realized that a new element of consolation had come to him that a certainty had been added to his hope. His friend had spoken to him of
thin figure
sight.
:
which
life.
To him
was not less real than sunshine or his bodily raiment and food. In his soul, lit up by an inner light, Willie saw for the first time a reflection
it
of the Beautiful
God.
;
munion.
CHAPTER XVII
A SHARP CORNER
'
Romance
John Oliver
'
Hobbes.
fingers,' said
Mr. Tiddy,
'
were
book with a steady hand. She wished that she knew how to blush. She found Mr. Tiddy's vulgarity restful. His slovenly work made her own seem exquisite his attentions restored the feeling of power which Willie had rudely disturbed. Bertram now shaved three times weekly, and wore his hair short a concession to prejudice which did not suit his style. But his conversation remained on Mildred's level, making Mr. Hopkinson's frequent absences from the bindery so many holidays for his fiancee. She could then, as she said, devote
:
She which he could not forget the horrible confidences had made to her, although she had refused to believe
Mildred despised Willie, and she feared him.
199
200
them.
proudly described as
filled
now
husband young men were scarce in Turner's Heath she had not sufficient trust in a kindly Providence to bring her engagement to an end.
;
Mr. Tiddy,
who
how
to
He
flattered
Mildred.
He spoke
art,
with
vague
Incidentally, he cast an
secondly as an
of culture in
artist.
it
at that stage
which
tuous,
They
which
own
thoughts,
were more
critical
than kindly.
Her
dry.
'
to talk to Mr.
now suggested that she was willing Tiddy whilst waiting for her glair to She was a girl who never wasted her time.
attitude
'
if I
It
seems so
doesn't
it
to get one's
work
is
well
Of course, advertising
horrid.
Sidney Henders, or Miss Delmere, or the Little Gidding people so that everyone could recognise
;
my
'
things,
A SHARP CORNER
201
chic,
original,
of
colour.
tradition
But
;
If
they
have
books bound by
price to be moderate,
artists, people want the and the design not too artistic
to be understood.'
'
run.'
Not it Quaint work does. And that's your line and mine too, for that matter. In these days, one must look at things in a practical light.
'
!
Dress artistic
it
talk artistic.
That's
all
to the good,
impresses people.
all
with
that stuff
But don't you get taken in about the beauty of labour and
After
it's
all, it's
reticence in design.
make
ideal for
me and
;
the
way
to do
to give people
something a thought of
room.'
'
bit
better
for
themselves,
something
so
artistic that it
wish
it
so
much more sensible, when we've got to live.' You won't. Hopkinson's a different type from
'
you
altogether.
Brent.
You'll do well
But
202
he's got
way.
him up
directly he
came here
one of
about perfection.
a minor poet.'
'
realize
how important
it is
to succeed.'
'
it's
a pity.
Seems such a
your own
waste.
little
What
I feel is,
you ought
to be in
Somewhere West Kensington way to start with, moving into Bloomsbury when we I mean, when you had got a bit of a
bindery, don't you
?
know
connection together.
But
to
'
doubt
I
Hopkinson to consent
it.'
Oh,
can't let
him
my
chances.
I'm ambitious.
alike.'
doesn't follow
we think
'
Ah, but you wouldn't be able to manage it alone. You wouldn't like to be worried with all the commercial details.
You want
man
to look after
you
and take
all
My
idea of a
and
his wife
working together,
And
no flexible sewing, or revival of antique methods, or any rot like that. I know the swell binders talk a
A SHARP CORNER
lot
203
it's
it when they're lecturing to amateurs, but bunkum. We'd get all the foreign art magazines, and introduce the new French and German fashions before they got common. That's the way to run a successful bindery you must be arty, and you must be up to date.' Mildred sighed. Mr. Tiddy had never appeared She forgot his to her in a more attractive light. sticky hands and her own high ideals, and remembered only the agreeable picture suggested by his
about
all
words.
now
been engaged to Willie for more than a year. She looked back, recollecting her hopes. She looked forward, and saw no chance of their fulfilment.
desired
society.
She
admittance
to
an
appreciative,
artistic
But
Mr.
Hopkinson's
very
ordinary
irritat-
his
any con' ;
It
and
Battersea
Press
and even the Gidding Guild. It would be so nice, I think, to be in touch with other
artists.
But
I shall
an outsider or
often think,
if
you won't
20 4
THE GRE
my being candid,
that
WORLD
a pity in
mind
it's
some ways
good artist sacrificed. I used to fancy once, you know, that you and I might have done some good work together if we'd gone into partnership.' I'm afraid that would be impossible.' I'm too late just my luck. I was I know. in my work, never saw. But I can't wrapped up help wondering, if Hopkinson hadn't spoken
to see a
'
'
'
first
Mr. Tiddy leaned towards Mildred, and looked at her with anxious eyes.
expression in those of a well-fed dog
for yet
But she remembered Janet. She could not be sure of his intentions. She drew
another bone.
back.
Miss Vivien's
:
Mildred's
made
He would
not be rebuffed.
He
to
interesting
notice
how
She was in the act of had really gone far enough. But the draught caused by Mr. Tiddy's abrupt
the
sheet
of
movement caught
uncut gold-leaf
it
in
A SHARP CORNER
a fluttering dance across the workshop
traditions of the
mical.
'
205
floor.
The
'
started in pursuit
a subtle,
it
thing.
has moods,
nervous.
seemed quietly to await capture, rose suddenly in the air as Miss Brent approached it, and fled to the cutting-press, under which it lay perdu for some minutes. But presently its edge, shining amongst the snippings of mill-board and paper, caught her eye. She rushed towards it, a large dab of cotton-wool in her hand, not noticing Mr. Tiddy's simultaneous approach from the opposite side of the room. He saw the gold-leaf, bent down, and stretched a long arm tentatively towards it. She stooped, dived under the cutting-press, and found herself on her hands and knees within a few
ing-board, where
made quick
retreat impossible to
was too cramped to permit her much liberty of action. There was a slight scuffle. Then she rose from the floor flushed, confused, and without the gold-leaf. But she was not disgusted. She was a woman who admired promptitude and resource. Mr. Tiddy had vindicated his manposition
;
Her
hood.
'
Give
me
another,
Millie,'
he said.
206
'
are
it is
But
very
difficult to
duties conflict.
After
?
poor mamma.'
making Mr. Willie Hopkinson aware that their marriage would not take place. Her love of delicacy in outline had not helped her to appreciate the same quality in human affairs. The luncheon interval seemed to her a fitting moment in which to reveal to him her change of plans. Her sense of design was satisfied by the idea that their engagement would begin and end under the same conditions of background and boundary. It was like a half-drop repeat pattern circumstances had compelled her to lower herself a little, but otherwise her attitude was unchanged. She glowed with womanly virtue as she made his cocoa, and saw that he had his lunch comfortably before dealing a blow which would certainly have
Miss Brent found no difficulty in
:
*****
know what to do when one's all, we aren't really suited to And I feel I ought to think
She arranged her tools ready for the afternoon's work, took away the cups and washed them. Finally, as he lighted his second
cigarette, she
'
came
to the point.
tell
you, Willie,'
it.'
she said.
But I'm
afraid
you won't
like
A SHARP CORNER
207
Willie started nervously. His father, in a sudden spasm of generosity, had that morning offered him an allowance which would enable him to marry immediately. Willie had not yet found a reason at once valid and diplomatic for refusing this inconvenient gift. It did not seem possible that any annoyance emanating from Mildred could equal this. He
indifferently.
is it ?'
Yes, dear
I
What
You
'
think perhaps
it's
better to put
it
plainly
kinder to you.
it
too.
And
have
I've
my
'
profession to think of
and,
the fact
is,
He had
movement
feeling
and
surprise
when he perceived
His
first
;
was gratitude to his deliverer but this was overwhelmed by a natural disgust caused by Mildred's want of proper feeling. He thought that he could have trusted her to realize that his supplanter must, at any rate, be a gentleman. Oh, I know he's common and he can't draw. I shall have to put up with that. There's always something to put up with. But, you see, he's human. Your kisses make my blood run cold, they seem to come from such a long way off.'
'
'
quite understand.'
208
''
Oh, do you ? I hope you do. I wouldn't like you to think I had behaved meanly. You see, Bertram really requires me. He says I do him good. When I'm with you, you do all the improving, and that bores me. I didn't think it would, but that was my want of experience. Now I do feel that I shall be improving Bertram all the time, and as he's given me the opportunity it is no more than my duty to do it.'
'
'
From your
Yes, well,
point of view,
right.'
'
my
all,
is
what
recognises one
more honest to say so, isn't it ? My temperament isn't like yours, and however much I might care for you, I feel we should never get on. I'm not a gentle doormat sort of woman. I must express myself. Art's what I care for really Art and life. And I feel if I only
has
a mistake,
made
get
my
opportunity
and
so does Bertram.
from a
And
like
mamma
And,
of course,
me, and
have some
He was released with Willie was not listening. honour from an unendurable situation, and his one He stretched out eager desire was for active flight. hands towards air, light, freedom towards re:
A SHARP CORNER
admission to the privacies of his
dred's companionship
spiritual stuffiness.
209
soul.
own
Mil-
certain
and attributing
on the arm.
'
Would you
started.
like
to
kiss
me
good-bye V she
of
said.
He
things.
1
He had been
'
thinking
other
No, thanks
he
Poor Willie
!'
murmured
CHAPTER
XVIII
The
Beautiful
is
making
itself
known
sensuously.'
Hegel.
Alle
Everyone
him
an insufferable thing.
had been
he was superior
to
his
surroundings.
deceiving
and deceived.
was
eternal.
;
Few
but
And though
experience
now
sometimes regretted
it.
She,
in
discarding him,
IXCIPIT VITA
had released him from a
XOVA
inimical
to
2ir
strain
known
spiritual
it
to
be
unpleasant
:
even
so
growth
difficult
to justify
means
wounding
to his
vanity.
which inflamed
his already
tender self-respect.
their
They hid
own
parallels
first
time in her
felt
brother.
as a solid
'
A broken engagement appealed to her and reasonable ground for mental distress.
!'
she said.
'
It
is
hard luck
her.
can't think
But
chief
Mr.
Miller
could
comprehend.
his
principle
which guided
devious
career.
seemed
One
after
came
of
Elsa
the
Mildred
failed.
Stephen each
fresh
name brought
memory
discouragements.
212
actuality.
mysterious
material
and
satisfying air.
He had
prayed
life
:
who had any price to the adventure of from the boy who had looked out on existence
travelled far from the child
for a return at
as a
game
watched.
him.
of his soul
was upon
away, seemed savourless and dull. nothing was worth effort. Even All was unreal in the holy places he found no peace. He remembered the words of the young man of Our Lady of Pity, but told himself that faith was only one
spiritual
life
He
realities
slipping
illusion the
It
more.
out his
was
to Elsa, long-suffering
that he
now poured
had got her boy back again. She cared nothing for the twisted paths by which he had come. He was relieved jealous despondent. Her attitude towards each angle was correct. This was a part which she played to perfection, and she was delighted
have the opportunity. There is,' she said, such an exquisite pleasure in pain Many of our greatest poets have noticed that. I could almost envy you your suffering.
to
' '
!
INCIPIT VITA
To
this
NOVA
for
it.
213
much
better than to
marry
'
Yours
is
Willie,
so wretched
don't
isn't
know what's
love that
It
makes me unhappy it's the weary not knowing what to do. There must be some aim in life that's genuine, some experience that won't fail when one tries it.' Elsa had one restful characteristic. She never
She accepted Willie's imagination, abundant words as evidence of stroked his hair, and sent him to the National
asked
for
explanations.
his
Gallery
soul.
her
A subtle sense of the fitness of things had kept him from seeking the consolations of religion Elsa's suggestion was a compromise which pleased him. He had a grateful recollection of those very silent rooms, watched by brooding Madonnas, by
;
still
He went there melancholy, feverish, impatient. He hurried through the turnstile, up the stairs, pushed
open the door which leads to the great Tuscan room. But as it closed behind him, the healing process
began.
The quiet
festival
of
colour on the
214
walls
seemed an invitation to some serious kind which he was unprepared. The influence of beauty imposed its peace on him. as great communities always impose their etiquette he felt that in such society one could not grumble of one's petty griefs. The place was full of the calmness, the ineffable hush, which belongs to
of happiness for
:
transcendental things.
delight.
him with a grave no sense of human fellowship only the repeated echo of footsteps upon the wide spaces of the polished floor.
It filled
Xo sound
:
of voices,
think.
superior
woman
of
and murmuring
Early Sienese.
of
L'Amico
di
Madonnas,
saints.
A
all
pair
happy
It
foreigners, for
whom
the
for
them
from
Mr.
Hopkinson.
He
Infant
sat
down
is
panel which
his eye
Christ.'
;
ceremonious
the ardour of
The
peculiar fascinations of
joyous purity of
the intimate
holiness of its
atmosphere, the
who
sits
with
INCIPIT VITA
NOVA
215
hands folded in prayer and looks silently down on her Son. The wistful angels who lean against the sides of her throne are hushed by her intense stillness. They are spiritual persons, who cannot understand the earthly love which blends Mother
and worshipper
in
in one.
One turns
dreamy
:
face
mystery
but she,
an ecstasy
of contemplation, scarcely
knows
of
their presence.
She dreams above her child, lying very helplessly and gladly upon its mother's knee as all that is holy in us lies upon the lap of Perfect
Beauty.
Willie sat opposite this picture for a very long
time,
and looked
steadily, intently,
without conher,
scious thought.
As he watched
quieting
at their birth,
and
:
left
an unspeakable sensation warned him that he was lifted up past the boundary of grey illusion.
token of
presence.
'
Donna, se' tan to grande e tanto vali, Che qual vuol grazia, ed a te non ricorre, Sua disianza vuol volar senz' ali.'
significance.
master-key,
it
seems,
may
many
mansions.
216
never
lost.
For the
first
time,
he detected a truth behind the absurdity of Elsa's dictum that prie-dieux ought to be placed before
The National Gallery, she said, always made her want to say her prayers. To Willie, now, there came that sensation of real worlds and unknown splendours very near, which had descended on him when he knelt before the Altar of the Holy Spirit. He discovered, as he had done when he wandered in the Grey Dimension, that one has only to turn
the master-pieces of devotional art.
one's eyes resolutely from Earth to lose its obsessing
influence.
It is the
downward glance
that anchors
him
came back
to
'
Ultimate
'
Beauty,'
'
life-enhancing qualities
'
of art,'
phrases
meaning.
to
But
which he had never attached definite this face, this picture which had
worked a miracle in his tormented spirit, gave to them a sudden vitality. He saw, wondering at his past blindness, that it was above all things
strange
and
significant
all.
that
things
should
in
be
beautiful at
loveliness
life.
him by
It
of
human
and
light
colour veiled, as
He
of loveliness
it
of
the
INCIPIT VITA
Visible
NOVA
all
217
by the Real
was profound, and pride of invention modified the crushing power of its truth. Beauty seemed to offer him an assurance of exquisite realities, to be given to those who desired them in faith and in love.
it
He
in
at
the angels
;
their
at
faun
who
knelt
by
Procris,
weeping
have been taken from life. They seemed to him so many windows built towards heaven. He had a new vision of the world. He saw it as a shadow cast by Divine Beauty a loveliness of which material beauty was
loveliness should
much
In the
it
Her
an
illusion built
up of paint and panel by some man held, as he was held, a prisoner in Time and Space. But her powers stretched into the Invisible. He wondered whence the vision had come which inspired the
secret of her picture.
Then
it
men
Beyond
the
threshold
sits,
of
consciousness
218
That light shone in seemed possible that^ in their creation the soul, which saw beyond the illusions of Time, had guided the artist's hand to some great purpose. Their message was the message of the churches, translated to a language which he could
understand.
He had found
a religion.
He
recog-
him in the presence of all beautiful same in essence as that emotion which he felt in Our Lady of Pity another way of approach to the same God. There are few more compelling confessors than a great work of art. Willie looked still at the Madonna, and the small details which obscure the issues of life fell away from him. He regained the
power, long
illusion.
lost, of
back down the years, and was annoyed to find little in them that was worth notice. It was a petty record a matter of drifting and discontent. That, too, had been the note of it the Grey World seemed that his pretension of knowledge had not enabled him to escape its grasp. He remembered how he had broken the
looked
He
spell
of
that
Dimension
the
it
intensity of desire
which had thrown him back again on life. The will which had done that miracle was
him.
exert
still
with
He asked
it,
himself
it
how
moment
INCIPIT VITA
chances of the road.
old
;
NOVA
219
He was
no dominant motive, no hope in his life. There had been places, he knew, at which he had seen the faint outlines of happy countries, had caught a glimpse of the Delectable Mountains
shining in the sun.
upon his have offered him visions of beautiful landscape, and the bow of promise in the clouds, had he given
his attention to the horizon instead of to the dust
For their sake he had set out pilgrimage a pilgrimage which might
under
his
feet.
He
work and
dim.
of
had grown
an eternity spent
Grey World, had driven him to search for truth. Now he fancied that Love might have been a worthier motive than fear, a better companion for the quest. There had been a certain meanness in his scramble after personal salvation, which
sufficiently explained its non-success.
The adorable
at the
telling
face of
as a favour-
back
of the picture
him
of
exquisite
aspire.
places
of
the
spirit
to
which he might
He asked
himself
how
In a
itself.
220
spasm
petty
ugliness,
herd.
He had
sneering
at his equals.
Now, with
newly-converted, he perceived
his
spiritual
how
great
had been
himself.
him
'
all
stupidity. He was disgusted with The mountain road had been close to the time, and above him the austere majesty
of the hill-tops.
Oh, to climb
!'
he cried.
Mrs.
in
his
Hopkinson heard him that night sobbing room very bitterly. She told Mrs. Levi
it.
!'
about
'
Quite hysterical
she
said.
'
nearly went
in to
sal volatile,
but
thought perhaps
he wouldn't
so
heard him
those
boys
are
things.
is
what
wants.
In
contemplating
the
Beautiful,
we
forget our
earthly griefs.
And he
there.'
'
No, indeed,'
!
replied
Mrs.
Hopkinson.
'
Poor
boy I'm only thankful he found her out in time. She would have made him a wretched wife full of modern ideas, and absolutely undomesticated.
;
INCIPIT VITA
It's
NOVA
221
quite pulled
think
we must
for a little
him down, one can see that. I if we can't send him away change all the doctors are recommending
really try
:
of his
pilgrimage
fessional
men and
Francis for 13 10s.' Taking its charges as far as Perugia, it there allowed them to wander at will.
'
said
Nothing could be better for him than that,' Mrs. Levi. Italy has such a wonderful
'
effect
Exquisite climate
Francis
the
associations
and
!
Claire,
beautiful
course.
well,
'
wicked
Florence
is
Baglione
is
And
:
Perugino,
so
hackneyed
and
Rome
said Mr.
Rome
Rome.'
Hopkinson.
It
Willie found
CHAPTER XIX
THE DELECTABLE MOUNTAINS
'
What more
beautiful
In Umbria, where
kiss of
little hills
nearer
heaven
in
the
a Peace of
God
eternally estab-
arts, spirits
feel the
may
still
Immanent Peace. Yet the Umbria is as the soul of a very melancholy queen. The nostalgia of the distant descends on the hearts of her lovers, giving them a delicate sadness not easily to be effaced. Her very breezes seem to come from far off. charged with the murmur of dim memories. But the joy of a wonderful passion
quieting touch of
soul of
made,
is still
to be apprehended.
On
223
Assisi,
son
a
new
standpoint.
He
looked
many
saints.
He
the old
into
dim roads that pattern its fields and vineyards the semblance of some faded tessellated work.
Three hundred
feet
little
Roman
ancient
its
upon had been in their position perhaps two thousand years. They had remained for defence, as their dark-eyed, voluptuous builders had had seen the Romans come and go, had left them watched the Northern emperors on their march to Rome, the Popes going up to Perugia. Finally, they had seen the patriot come, and the poetry of
that he sat
:
were
Man, creeping under their shadow or perched upon their height, seemed some ephemeral insect. Yet, under that vivid sky, in an atmosphere where all things are fresh and definite and the air sings the
very
stately.
hymn
He felt that he looked out on a world which always had existed, always would exist, and
antiquity.
he with
it
was
in
Beauty,
224
He had
quite forgotten
life
Elsa his
to
home
this
the
slow grey
fortnight
real
he
must return
when
happy
was done.
he had
importance for
him
as a
illusion,
He had
felt
them
shadowy
net, confusing
and
confining.
In the
She was
vision of
real, potent.
life first
She completed
for
him the
of Pity,
intensely felt
in
when the
It
is
essentially religious.
the painters.
He knew
that
it
some
bearing
on the transcendental
that
its
presence.
He looked back down the path towards the town and saw, through the little Roman arch which spans the road, a group of people coming up to him. He was sorry. He had enjoyed his solitary hour. But Mr. and Mrs. Finchley supposed that he was sightseeing. They felt that it was their duty to miss nothing of interest, and they had followed him. They headed a procession representative of the
population of Spello
:
many
children
woman
her
but an old
man
THE DELECTABLE MOUNTAINS
advanced state
of decomposition, insisted
225
on placing
The Rev. John Finchley, who had a fussy manner and no Italian, seemed unhappy.
'
Horrible place,
this,'
We
:
to
much
floor of the
I'm afraid
I
my
Yes,'
said
Mrs. Finchley.
But
at
still,
liked
them
better
Montefalco
everlasting
those
'
Yes,
in
Roman
!
Catholic countries.
:
But
really
used to them
It's
they seem to
me
creatures
pose.
'
the
way
And
to think of
sup-
her husband,
'
that the
great
of
Protestant
artists.
religion
hasn't
produced
any
Evangelical
and
prevented
Popish
art attracting so
much
attention.
These Romanist
;
weak minds
is
they promote
left
for
outward
15
226
'
it,
dear
Panama hat
was
at
Perugino landscape
and
good deal from the Finchleys since leaving England in their company nine days before.
an end.
He had
much occupied by
He wanted
for
so
much
of
him out
And you wanted to photograph Rivo Torto on the way back, didn't you, dear ? and I promised to hold a little service in the
'
Half-past two
he
said.
'
We
must be
starting
back.
telling the
than he
walked up
all
the
hills.'
It was at this moment that Willie discovered that an afternoon spent in the society of the Finchleys
was impossible to him. I think, if you don't mind,' he said, I shall walk back. It's under ten miles, and you will go quicker with only two in the carriage.'
' '
227
?'
I'm you do too warned me that you weren't very strong. It's no use over-exerting one's self, is it ? and the mental
;
strain of seeing so
many new
things
is
dreadfully
exhausting.'
She was a
grasshopper
;
woman,
like
a brown
husband and her camera. She and Mrs. Hopkinson had been schoolfellows, and both thought the coincidence which enabled her to take charge of Willie a fortunate one. But a week of travel had given a
touch of decision to Mr. Willie Hopkinson's rather
fluid character.
He was
life.
Finchley.
as S. Francis did.
From
Roman
;
gate
start.
they
He
down
stretches
'
took him to
its
152
228
bosom.
on
thoughts.
He
walked
were as wine to
He
felt
smiled happily as
he caught sight
hill like
an angel at
He
footing
any more the man in the world, but the pilgrim soul it between the stars. He was walking alone,
sturdily self-dependent, through exquisite landscape
That was
of the
life
highway
of the
beauty
of the road.
He
spirit.
conceived
now
of the world, of
the body, as
momentary
discipline, an initiation whose deeps he had once used wrongly, a peril to a His idealism had come to this known.
Used
medium
to
accept their
reports.
But
it
was the
show him. That was significant, true. time and space, but an eternal thing which it was the very business of matter to shadow forth, the duty of that pilgrim soul in him to apprehend. One must not arrive at the Continuing City deaf and blind to the music and radiance, obsessed
them
to
No
illusion of
229
incident worries of
life.
from the disease which had crippled his first He had seen at last the face of the Great years. Companion. He knew what he wanted the con-
was beginning
to recover
of spiritual self-seeking
He had
come
journey
for his
mystic's way.
for those
way, after all, had been the old There is no other practicable path
who
who have
able common-sense.
The
'
old
formula
came
back
to
his
'
mind
Purgation,
Illumination,
Contemplation
trod
the
the
by
This
Mystica, acknowledged
it,
the
masters
left
who had
its
explorers
who had
notes of
geography behind.
to co-relate in
'
trinity of experience
seemed
way with
to
and
its
some
those
who
attained
highest stage.
In his
He
looked back on
his poor efforts to grasp some shadow show as it passed him, and make He remembered his terrified it real for himself. search for safety, the Mildred episode and its humilia-
230
tions, the hope that his first meeting with Stephen had brought lastly, the quest of security amongst
He
in
it
recognised in
nunciation
of
pride
involved
each
failure,
was evident, could not tread the same road. power of his love for Pauline had made a breach for Stephen in the flaming rampart of the world the Secret of the Altar offered a sure and certain hope to its initiates. But tor Willie the shadow of an Everlasting No was across those paths.
The
idealizing
'
'
His
way
of escape lay
seemed rather supernatural in its loveliness. He came to a shrine, where a faint Umbrian Madonna held out her Child to the traveller and stopped to thank the Unknown God who had framed for his joy this wonderful Rose of the World. Each moment
:
brought
its
mystic petals.
the holy,
elfish,
He had
glimpses of
all
the worlds,
which
Some
power in him separated these aspects of things, and set his feet in a magical place where all he saw and felt had the glamour of a fairy land inextricably entwined in this. So that he was not very
231
pre-
came
by the ebbing
company upon
he carried
far
:
it.
it
were
away from
'
Willie, easily
Buona
sera
'
Grazie,
signore
friar
mechanically.
He
in
voiceless prayer.
But
as Willie's
and looked
at him.
It
seemed
life,
that, like
most
who
!
lived a cloistered
he was interested
the
little
in small detail.
'
Teh
Inglesc
/'
he said joyfully.
assist
'
If
signore
me
in the pronunciation
He
garlic,
It
and
'
in general
want
of
La Lingua
Inglese in ire
Gram-
The
head
little friar
and
fell
232
him.
teristic
'
'enough.'
and
He
also
offered
criticism
several
obscure
sentences,
Anxious not to
effort to
lose
an instant
of
this precious
It
combine hill-climbing with irregular verbs. was evident that he was much in earnest. To Willie, the situation seemed a paradox absurd
;
its
heart.
life,
This
of a religious
was
Order an existence
Yet
all his
The very
of
hill
life
he led
that
temperate, ordered
life
the Franciscan
Observant
his
most ambitious
dream was
'
scrambling
down from
by command
?'
of
English
'
No, signore.
learn
it
wish to live
to
improve myself
for
the glory of
the blessed S.
233
But in the convent there are indiscreet who would say " Fra Agostino wishes to make
So
it is
only
when
Superior that
can study
a little of
the grammatica
on the road.'
'
can't think
why you
it.
would forget
'
it if
could.'
'
one must
has given
it is
study the world the good God has given us, must one
not
it,
?
And
to
know
all
the excellencies
He
from
England that now all the new things come. The more one knows, the more one will love and S. Francis laid on us the duty of loving all things.
;
is
a true opera
may
God
world.
The English
nothing moves.'
'
we may be modern, but we don't understand things we haven't religion, and the sense of beautiful living, innate in us as you must have here. We have to come to Italy to find the real loveliness, the old spirit left over from the happy
Oh,' said Willie,
;
days
1
of the world.'
If
thus,' said
Fra Agostino.
He was
trotting steadily
by
234
grammar-book. In Italy is only the old things, the remnant in England is fertility, growth and liberty even for the religious. The
his place in the
:
signore
is
who was
here two
Italy.
She called
turning
my
is
back on heaven.
came here
for
it is
for
beautiful
had no inspiration. But veda, signore, she returned home, and she has sent an Ancona for our chapel. She painted it, altogether in the ancient manner, in her cell in England. She lives there alone she is an anchoress. In Italy, there is none who could have painted that picture. The English are great artists, a great people also. I will show the signore, and he
;
can judge.'
They had come now to the gate of the convent. They crossed the courtyard, went into the little church. It was very bare truly a mendicant sanc-
tuary.
of S.
Francis and
S. Anthony contrasted painfully with the whitewashed brickwork, the rough wooden stalls of the choir. The cheap ornaments and artificial flowers of the altar, jarred senses which had come straight from the exquisite shrine of the earth where Nature offers her sacrifice. Fra Agostino walked up the only aisle, and Willie after him. The place seemed dark after the sunshine, and they were at the altar-
235
tized S. Francis, or an
had vaguely expected, a stigmaAnthony of Padua dreaming on the Infant Christ. What he saw was a woman's
as he
figure
;
landscape, as
Angels.
stretches
Round
;
made
and within the halo a vision of the But what struck him most was a reticence Cross. of handling, which suggested behind the plain lines of the picture an ineffable peace, the secret of a
a halo
This
woman
held out
as
if
all
Her personality was the climax, the so that it really seemed who approached that altar must come to her
:
arms.
It is
the
the Blessed S.
'
He
left
but the
back to
was a beautiful idea of the English signora that she should be placed above our altar. A fine painting, is it not ? I show it to all the English, for we are very proud of it in the convent.'
us.
It
236
'
this signora's
name
it
?'
said Willie.
'
signore
may
read
at the
bottom
of the
picture.'
There, on a
little scroll,
'
were words
indeed., in clear
black letters.
in the fear of
cell of S.
'
God and
At her
'
No, signore.
is
But
she
a visionaria, a solitary
It is
she spends
:
much time
a look in
It is
in contemplation.
curious
there
is
of her.
it
is
The
had
out
experiences.'
They went
Willie
presently
from
the
church
much possessed by the personality unknown painter who also had seen the
behind the
Veil.
of this
Secret
living
The image
of this
woman,
happy
had an
He
:
was
his friend.
He
'
name and
designation
cell of S.
Mary-le-Street.'
From far off, her example beckoned him. He thought of her still, when he stood
garden of
the
hill
in
the
of
on the brow
The austere
237
in
and wondered how much of what he felt was Earth, and how much Heaven. The Father Superior,' said Fra Agostino presently, comes much to the garden for holy medita'
'
used to do.'
to
works
'
said
Willie.
Does
?'
'
there
to
signore will
remember that
S.
;
it
amongst the
hills.
He
?'
would be a
pity,
would But
it
not,
if
we were not
able to recognise
them
gateway the little friar's mood changed The approach to the road drew his thoughts from the charm of the cloister to the drama
at the
suddenly.
If
softly, as Willie
'
perhaps he
would send me an
The
If
the signore
238
will
him Italian post-cards and, if he desire it, I will remember him in my prayers.' Mr. Willie Hopkinson reached Perugia at the moment of sunset, when a radiant sky shut blue hills
and white
cities in a
warm
embrace.
It
He
felt alive,
comes with
with the
Friend.
first
knowledge
first dim apprehension of the Shadowy But the atmosphere of the hotel, so warm, British and respectable, checked the raptures of the
road.
of a
harmonium.
tired
evidently in progress.
and a
tune,
little service was Twelve travelling spinsters schoolmaster were singing the last hymn.
Mr. Finchley's
The
seemed, was
'
Rome
Now
And leads us home. Far from Confession, Incense, Feast and Fast, Till in the Gospel we repose at last.'
had been added to Cardinal Newman's poem by the orthodox muse of Mr. Finchley, who
These
lines
made
the
hymn
peculiarly
countries.
use
in
Roman
Catholic
congregation
cendo.
It breathes,'
spirit.'
she said,
CHAPTER XX
THE RIVER
'
The
afternoon draws quiet breath At pause between the eve and morn, And from the sacred place of Death
The
Israel Zangwill
Mrs. Hopkinson was ill so ill, that she almost seemed interesting. It had begun with a cold, which she would have nursed carefully in others but naturally neglected in herself. Her family were accustomed to leave matters of health entirely they had therefore nothing to in her keeping offer neither sympathy, patent medicines, nor advice. It seemed so unlikely that she should be it would be too inconvenient. seriously ill But when Mrs. Hopkinson began to let the hours when the news that the slip by without concern
:
Pauline, in
of
for Willie,
who
240
disorder,
presence.
all his brooding on the quick flitting he had never contemplated the deaths of his family the unpreventable obliteration of faces
Curiously, in
life
of
which made up the actual landscape of home. And quite suddenly, without any of the solemn preparation which mankind never ceases to expect
crisis, this shifting of the scenes had come. The certainty of impending death was written up a helpless feeling, the consciousness of a Destiny not to be evaded, had abruptly replaced the wholesome bustling atmosphere which was natural to the
before a
house.
He
felt
sharp
Already, as
it
and want
of recuperative power,
no one but
danger
grey wool
dull,
which the
THE RIVER
Fates had apportioned to her homely
life.
241
Mr. Hop-
on Saturday night.
The thing
fell
so far outside
:
Mrs. Hopkinson
had possessed
Her remarks
fell flat
without notice.
ence,
There
a slightly squalid
way
of
which
this secret,
life.
is peculiarly British. It was this method, which had depoetized Mrs. Hopkinson's
now she was slipping from by the uninspiring perfumes of eucalyptus and camphorated oil. For Willie, however, the illness had a certainty of issue, and that certainty a horror, which kept all
flannel
and
stuffiness
existence surrounded
his
In
its last
of
made him in the past a thorny if intelligent neighbour. He now vaguely saw a beauty in those undecorative virtues which before had only irritated
his hyperaesthetic
mind.
Believing that
all
things
some
his mother's
16
242
homely features of a Rembrandt portrait. Yet he could not doubt that she was destined to the Grey World to an eternal, useless flitting to and fro on the edges of life, which would be torture to her busy spirit. By a horrible irony, those very qualities for which he might have been grateful were her ruin. That intimate carefulness for home, that selfless
;
which had been fostered by education, approved by convention, by religion even these combined to tie
;
in all
her
world
desire
and hearts
to
Willie
knelt
watched her
with
its
face.
fascination for
by her bedside held her hand The whole scene had a horrible him. The brightly lighted bedroom,
;
cretonne hangings,
incredible.
made
All seemed orderly, earthly, actual. had been made up, and burned cheerfully. There was a table near it with the remains of beefLily the Cheiromant,' which only tea, and a novel, two days ago Mrs. Hopkinson had been reading with Yet now she lay on the bed, as he great interest.
The
fire
'
THE RIVER
once had
lain,
243
and struggled,
Two
and
little
Body
had entered on the last assault of their long tournament. He remembered, with a shock almost of fear, that in this same place he had made his second entry into the visible world. The houses of death and of birth the terminals of the timeprocess came together here and showed to him
'
'
He wondered whether
she
felt,
as he
It
had done,
suddenly
They were alone together. Pauline had thought the patient better, and had gone for a walk. Willie, with an indefinable knowledge that the time had almost come, that the last chains were loosed, felt that no interest would be served by
candour.
There
is
He
He would be with
mother, to
boundary as she might. For more than half an hour she had lain quite quiet. Everything suggested a drowsy calm but it was the stillness of an armistice, not of a peace. The April sunshine, coming through the muslin curtain of the window, cast warm lights on her shapeless homely face, on the faded shawl about
;
16
244
underneath.
things
so
light
and the
tendency,
silence,
their
strained
Willie's nerves,
ness, the
made him
There was on one hand the feeling of inclusion, of On the safety, bound up in the walls of a home.
other, there
all this,
;
this
haven, was a shadow, a dissolving view that one of those whom it now seemed to hold so securely
would presently pass out of its boundaries, unhindered by its walls, unhelped by all its comforts. She hiy on the bed she, for whom in a few moments nothing should be warm or durable any more know-
ing nothing of
all this
the darkness.
Then he looked
already come.
at her,
hand
eyes.
as
it
There was a new tension in her clutched the sheet, a hunted look in her
;
had reached the first stage of the terror. She was She could cut off now from the rest of humanity. not speak to him. She was afraid that he would go away and leave her alone on the brink. He moved
the pillow to help her struggling anxious breath
;
moistened her
lips,
bathed her temples, where the skin was already He wondered whether any knowcuriously drawn.
ledge of his presence could force
its
way
to the inner
;
life
whether
THE RIVER
245
he had power to galvanize the sleepy senses and send her assurance that she was not alone. Re-
of loneliness he
had passed
very
pitiful.
his mother's
Another barrier
furnishings went.
seemed
its
in the bed,
which should reassure her by its reality and firmWillie took the poor hands in his own, and ness.
held
them
tightly
trying with
all
horror
now
frightened
horrible
to
see
on
that
of
it
sane
given
knowledge
Our decorously makes the great terrors and joys of the human soul seem almost indecent. Willie shuddered and felt sick before the agony of his mother's first look upon death. He knew himself in some degree guilty of her torment felt that perhaps the cares of his nurture had been for something in the maiming of her soul. To their parents, children must always be either wings or weights he could not remember that he had ever helped his mother to rise. Presently her lips moved she was trying to
over to other than tepid emotions.
insipid
way
of living
speak to him.
were
He
difficult to hear.
Two
only he caught
an
246
intense
'
:
Help
me
!'
an appeal
some potent as it but negligent saviour still on the remembered shore. She was on the edge now had seen something of the grey and empty places towards which her spirit was hurrying fast. That cry, almost inarticulate, raised a passion of Always till now a sorrowful love in Willie's heart.
barrier to
solitary, living in a self-contained universe
which
moment he suddenly felt the inter-dependence of all human things in their time of discipline. He perceived the impossibility of any perfect happi-
He
thing in his
Hopkinson
ready for a
He was
peace
supreme
ished
sacrifice,
forgetting
safety.
His
own
future
seemed a
Mother,' he said,
I'll
if
'
be comforted
I'll
find a
way,
close,
save you
But
her.
it
was too
late
his
In her twisted
lips,
agony of the pasThe sensual world had gone from The other, in its dreary monotony, momenbecame clearer. But as he watched, her face
THE RIVER
relaxed abruptly.
prise
247
little
hint of
some glad
sur-
crept
into
her expression.
to her
Some
mystical
sixth sense
was added
and smiled.
It
the
You'll be
The stress passed from her face then it did not seem that she was frightened any more. In another moment, the hand that he held became hmp in his The empty body fell back on the pillows. grasp. Mrs. Hopkinson had passed over.
3JC 3C
3|C JJS
5JS
It
that
little fuss,
Willie, versed in
had somehow expected that the visible side of things would show a certain sympathy, a knowledge
of the soul's crisis.
come
so simply.
of
life,
no sudden gust
was
difficult to realize
The fire crackled as before. A tradesman's van went down the street. Someone at the next house
whistled for a hansom.
quite clearly, noting
at the corpse
Willie heard all these things
them
248
went.
moment, he
tell
the
news
rate
to the household
and elabo-
But suddenly a harsh The abruptness of the sound drew a sob that was almost of fear from him but its origin was normal enough. Only a pianoorgan, very new and insistent, which had stopped before the door and struck up the Old Hunmachinery
of
grief.
stillness.
'
dredth
'
'
Sing
Him
do dwell Lord with cheerful voice serve with fear, His praise forth tell,
to the
;
Come
It
ye before
CHAPTER XXI
WILLIE TRIES TO LEND A HAND
'Be not the
while
I
slave of
Words
for
it,
is
love
it,
and long
and mourn
floor
I
Here, in the
?'
stand on
THOMAS
Carlyle.
gloom which
Willie
followed
Mrs.
Hopkinson's
death,
back into himself, rearranged the disturbed images which filled his House of Life.
sank
A new
the
Himself so certain
of his road,
City,
who moment of
Speichern Sie
Speichern Sie
viction that
ought to save
my
were a
How
death
different,
his
mother's
249
he have been,
250
he knew
it
to be
The
;
stifling,
ostentatiously dismal
of
;
the house
blinds
the honours, to
him
so ridiculous,
;
which
these gave to
The
of
this
life
of a
bereaved household
things
is
always
full
petty discomforts.
state
of
To everyone but
himself,
seemed natural a fitting of an excellent housewife. The fact that the tea had been made with lukewarm water, that there was a feeling in the air of charwomen and spring-cleaning of a specially lugubrious kind, only drew their thoughts more
tribute to the
memory
tenderly
to
the
virtues
of
of
the
little
deceased.
Mrs.
so
account during
left
surprise.
aware were more inconveniences and that its suited to their state than gipsy tables and brocaded Pauline, red-eyed, worried by her own chairs. incomprehensible sense of desolation, was trying
The family
odours
to
find
some
interest
in
WILLIE TRIES TO LEND A HAND
materials from a box of patterns.
251
heavy with
to
tears,
her miseries.
a reflex action.
Bertie Anthracite sat on her knee, a sharp contrast
to
into a
compact mound
of purring happiness.
a certain
At
he was fussily affectionate, as Mrs. Hopkinson used to be and his intense blackness he had no white hairs had its own mournful meal-times
;
suitability.
Mrs. Steinmann,
in to see
if
she
in
the largest
Her thick
and bead-trimmed dress looked dusty in the April sunlight, and seemed to Willie like a woolly epigram which epitomized the mental atmosphere of the
room.
his
at
He wanted
to
read
the
new
number of Science Gossip, and wondered whether anyone would think it an act of disrespect. Always
more sensuous than emotional, an abstract grief bored him but he stood in awe of Mrs. Steinmann, who was expert in the etiquette of death he was
: ;
watched her
idly, focussing
252
his gaze
had
its
and the
little
spiritual world.
In a
up her attempt
three.
at
the clock.
It
Mr.
and began to clean his nails with a tooth-pick. The life of the room was stagnant, airless. The boredom of sorrow was weighing heavily on it that attitude of weary unconcern towards life which lingers in the neighbourhood of death. Mr. Hopkinson and his daughter felt it the more because they were not
Hopkinson shifted
sufficiently
intelligent
felt
it
to
understand
it
it.
Mrs.
Steinmann
nerves.
of
too,
but
it
She recognised
also
as a normal accessory
bereavement.
Willie
was oppressed
drawn
in
spite
of
himself
stantial things.
call
He
come
Land.
him
there.
Beautiful
In that happy place, all the world had seemed strange and symbolical, the medium of adorable secrets. But beyond that, in the Dreadful
253
it
life,
showed
itself
to
be emptiness and
illusion.
To
some force was drawing him now. He felt that unless the strong silence of the room were broken, the activities of daily
this plane of perception
life
Grey World, and renew all the old vanquished fears. Looking so closely at death had put the vision called Reality out of focus. He seemed to see the world-process as a great pendulum, swinging silently and incessantly through the seen and the unseen spheres. Always, on its journey and return,
it
human
soul.
How
all,
was
his short
as
if
The magnedemanding
an interpreter
He
out
between
the
slats
of
the
closed
Venetian
blinds.
still
turned
diurnal
existence.
back an
inert
in
image
to him.
monstrous
The
on
was vacant
it
seemed
immovable, as
its
way through
the heavens.
He
received the
254
life
He saw
the Grey
dead
had
in
fact
never lived
and more terrible death, of which the extinction of the body is a symbol, was the source
this deeper
of all their miseries.
'Can't
we
do something
life
?'
he said suddenly.
at
The
'
sense of suspended
Mr.
Hopkinson
looked
him
;
dully.
One
my
boy
it's
customary,' he
isn't
respect of anything,'
said
It's
awful.
!'
We
might
almost
as
was !' murmured Pauline. I shall never be happy again. Poor mother !' The sound of her own words reminded her how wretched she was she began to cry. Mrs. Steinmann got up. You're a little bit
I
wish
'
'
'
It's
not to be
wondered
at.
I'll
just get
you the
salts off
ammonia
Pauline
noticed
the wreaths.
They'll do
of
the
Her outcry
feeling
had
had a superstitious
that standing so near to the edge of things, even the spoken word was dangerous.
255
You
Life,
even
it's
lonely,
is
less terrible
'
than that.'
mother's
wailed
lonely
Pauline.
Perhaps
us
!'
now.
Perhaps
tears
fell
she
wants
Her
on
Bertie Anthracite's head and ran down his ruff,; making damp and unbecoming streaks upon the Bertie got up, sniffing reproachfully, and fur. went to look for drier quarters on the sofa. My dear Pauline !' said Mr. Hopkinson very kindly, you are distressing yourself without cause. The dead cannot be lonely. It is impossible for
' '
To
You know
Calm
Death
out
of
is
but unfortunately
getting
it,
No
ourselves.
outworn material.' Mr. Hopkinson blew his nose, and seemed more cheerful for his own explanation. Let us be
'
thankful,' he added,
'
that
we
live in
a scientific
age
and don't
let
it's
we who
256
allegories of Heaven and Hell. The dead are lonely, when they die as mother has died, without seeing the real meaning of life. Listen,
who made
you shall listen because it's the Why will you take the shadow for the real, and the veil for the limit like this ? Can't you see, on your theory, what a senseless, unreasonable
father
truth.
!
r
Oh
performance existence
scale
of
is ?
Isn't
it
arrogance to
the
little
looks a
silly lie.'
still
'
My
dear
lad
!'
replied
Mr.
Hopkinson,
'
conclusions
lie.
Modern
entry.
science
is
as sure of
its
results as double
No room there for chance and fancy. What's put down on one page is bound to turn up finally on the other.' Oh, yes !' answered Willie. But not as you
' '
think,
father.
It's
the
invisible
things,
all
the
critical
events of
future.
and
all
has
those
I
which have
must
your
tell
you.
You must
meaningless
minute.
You're
living
wasting
in
life
on
acts,
great
danger
every
You've got to
die,
257
that
taste.
He He
felt
could not
He
was
returning footsteps.
wished.
ness,
Willie
was
it
in earnest
though
its
it
is
generally
grotesque,
always
shames
This
as to
what he ought
to
which
set Mr.
Hopkinwrath-
He was
in the state of
discomfort
may
word
noticed
the
expression
of
respectable
disgust which
father's face.
'
He went
on.
This
world
you
so
important
and
trustworthy,' he said,
fect
is
way
of seeing
something that
very different
>
in itself.
Everyone seems
should they
?
but
why
When
has for
me when the dead become more real than the living, and Time and Space only empty words, modern science won't be much good. You're disgusted, of course you think I'm mad but I daren't let you die without saying the truth. Mother's gone, lost, and I never helped
a colourless mist, as
it
: :
her.
I'll
'
At
How
258
can you be so wicked, Willie ? How dare you say mother's in Hell ?' But he went on.
'
Listen
but there's world after world, and mode after mode of perception,
all
wrapped behind
it
down
the time,
are written.
And what
?
will
you you
fuss
will
want then
you
and your soul isn't any further now than when you were a baby. All you will do, if
;
will
everything you
care
for.
real
Hell,
and
it's
in the spirit.'
He
left off
somehow
conscious of a
between folded paws and looked at him solemnly. There was a remote and dreamy fellowship in his
great
amber
eyes.
had resulted only in a stronger isolation. Mr. Hopkinson felt insulted always the first re-
action of a
mean
He had
was
fool,
but
he did not
know what
He
missed his
259
who would doubtless have removed Willie on some convenient if undignified pretext. To Pauline, the whole scene seemed a puzzling aggravation of the general wretchedness of things.
Only
to Mr. Willie
Hopkinson were
his
and pregnant.
His speech, indeed, had been rather an incantation than a confession
his father
;
and
sister
at
all.
They were
left
But back on himself, his words fell and the Gates of Horn, for him always on the latch, swung open. He lost the visible and the obvious, and won back his old sense of the extreme naturalness of unseen things. The Grey World, in fact, rushed back on Willie, and he met it almost gladly as a relief from the It brought with suffocating limits of his home.
it
of
infinite space,
and
of
life.
He
to hold for him. The him now only with a Their Hell had become his purging sadness. a place of great clarity and peace. Heaven Beyond them, he saw all things reconciled and made Knowledge gave him faith he looked out good.
terrors
it
which
had used
filled
on the desert
He knew now
260
endless
fields
that
other
Dimension.
its
There,
among
populations,
Hopkinson, lonely
communicate with her seemed that his own spirit was being dragged back from visible life by her imperative longing, and met her on some intermediate plane. Her soul sank into his. She spoke to him not coherently at first, but with
to
It
;
who
Their
has
been
deprived
of
it
opportunity
for
chatter.
seemed, to be said.
Only she
in the
on
this
unexpected gap
of her soul.
She was overflowing with all the old, human sympathies which he had despised until she had taken them from him. She was still one with her
children,
through them.
some sense vicariously happy missed the note of boredom and despair which was his one sharp memory of
and
in
He
Otherwise, he
felt
her presence to
it
be absolutely natural.
of
He
in the
lost
with
the sense
something missing
Grey World, loving him and leaning out to him, gave him a new feeling of unity and content. Dear mother he said suddenly. His voice was low but very penetrating, as if it had come
'
!'
261
'
Eh
T
What
?'
he said.
illie, all
his attention
saw the sensual world uncertainly, through a distorting haze. No doubt he had a vague knowledge of the room, and of people in it, but their
sion,
given in a dream.
'
'
watching
Of course
one knew she must be, but it's nice to feel it. And aren't you glad ? she's not so very unhappy
;
us, of course
but
she'll
it's
impossible.'
fool,
'
Willie,'
said
We've heard Hopkinson very sharply. enough of your morbid fancies for one day. Besides, you're upsetting this is no time for ghost stories your sister.' As Pauline, in fact, had turned very white.
Mr.
;
room.
seized
fact,
was
by an uncontrollable fear which he knew to be unreasonable, and which made him feel a great dislike
for his son.
He
attributed
it
262
of
his
semi-human ancestors but this did not mend his damaged pride. Willie had slipped from the visible world as completely as in the first years of his childhood, before
his
communications with the earth-life were solid and complete. He was now established on the
other plane
;
recognised
its
He was puzzled. His mother texture of its life. seemed to be happy incomprehensibly happy for that empty and desolate place. She had so long been accustomed, it seemed, to find contentment in
now
their exist-
ence on earth
made
a little
Heaven
of self
appeared to bring
own reward
as
an
Willie
extremely odd.
was
in
this
that
who hunt
life
But her
lished.
As
against hers
by the
tide of
was not firmly estabhis spirit was driven his thought, or drawn
back by the drag of the world, he knew that all was not secure with her, that there was something she had to tell him. He remembered what a friendly listener would have meant to him when he was amongst the Dead, and turned his whole will towards
the understanding of her message.
'
Mother, what
I
is
it ?'
he
said.
'
I'm here.
know.
own
263
He knew
at the
moment
of
speaking what
was that she wanted. She was afraid. Not where she was, but of being
filled,
her
memory
in the
interests.
When
that
happened, he saw, she would be quite alone, would have lost her anchorage to earth. Love gave her a part still in the home that she had cared for, but it was a reciprocal love, a magnetism in which the living had to do their part. Only in their remembrance she retained her hold upon visible things.
The forgotten die, as the loveless die except those happy dreamers who have found the Heart of the Rose, and pass from the Earth-sphere to the Absolute. He saw suddenly and unforgettably the one great duty of the living, in the loving commemoration of the dead.
:
'
It's
all
right,
mother
dearest,'
he
said.
'
We
You
shan't be forsaken.
We
love
you,
and
there's
no
barrier.
You'll
He
timid
felt
the
?
affectionate,
being
whose
want,
constant
dearie
?'
questions
Anything
you
had
Now
was made the keeper of his mother's happiness. He seized on the new duty gladly. He stood up, held out his arms irrationally, but with an utter
264
conviction, as
to safety.
He said nothing. He seemed to have gone past speech to the place of pure thought.
Mr. Hopkinson, watching him uneasily, decided
that he was going to faint.
As a matter
;
of fact,
blind to
for,
He knew,
#
for
the
first
He came back
in hysterics
Pauline
on the
standing
fascinated
fluffy coat
and
forward and
nervously erect.
faced,
awkward and
and common-sense.
'
Just in time
off in
!'
You'd have
giddy
?
been
'
another minute.
feel
all
the afternoon.'
His shaking hand reminded him that he had passed but Mrs. through a very creepy ten minutes
;
265
now
meant
'
illness or folly.
Nothing
like a
moment
!'
of the recently
and
tried to
his back.
Only over-excitement with a touch of liver in it, most likely. You never can tell what form bile will take. I remember, Willie, you had an attack something like this when you were quite a little boy. It made your poor mother very anxious at the time she thought it was your brain. I told her she was wrong, I've had so much experience with boys and as a matter of fact it turned out
: :
Mrs.
Steinmann's
:
tone
was
full
of
cheerful
authority
manner
CHAPTER XXII
CROSS-ROADS
Quand on veut noyer son chien, on French Proverb.
'
dit qu'il
la rage.'
Stephen, in the double capacity of Willie's friend and Pauline's lover, was forced into a family consultation. The situation was serious. Mr. Willie Hopkinson had neither repented nor explained his outburst. Knowing that explanation between the ignorant and initiate must always be a paradox, he had chosen an attitude of smiling unconcern which
strained not only his
own
But
who longed
to discuss
and
let
him go
CROSS-ROADS
'
267
'
I'm con-
vinced of
interview.
Symptoms
cases, of course,
But that attack the other day the simulated voice, and the hallucination, and all that
false
excitement
distinct
to
'
my mind.' In my opinion,'
it
'
Willie's
I
put
down
Many
and then foreign food. That alone was almost bound to upset him. So oily.' Yes,' replied Mr. Hopkinson. Your daughter
habits altered
' '
trip,
but
always thought
it
I've
all
no
the
all
comes to questions of She seems to think a course of bad hotels health. and old churches will cure anything. But as I say to her, what on earth's the good of this rushing about Europe nowadays, when you can buy all the same things in London ? It's silly as well as expensive, and I'm afraid it's had a good deal to do with Willie's
'
it
queerness
of
it.'
'
that, and
his mother's
'
268
gifts,
and
his
own way
He was wondering, as he uttered these facile phrases, how best to solve the equation of which Willie, Mr. Hopkinson, and his own convenience,
were the principal terms.
Stephen at this time
to be married to
hung
in
spiritual hopes.
To be engaged
He was growing
;
older
and
His
approximating
life.
dream
it
to the texture of
sharp
of the
intellect, as little
mystic as
common life, sought incessantly for compromise. He was not deceived by appearance but many of its aspects pleased him, and he refused
greyness of
;
them up. Toward Willie, he felt respectful but impatient wanted to help him, was irritated because he showed
to give
;
himself so
little
ready to be helped.
His visionary
still
and
his profession,
mind explained the gulf which broadened between him and her brother.
critical
of Miss Pauline
Hopkinson.
CROSS-ROADS
visions of his youth.
269
in Willie's
company.
It
made him
had ceased
his
to attend.
He had now
is
so disciplined
ideal spectator of
who
and even to be credulous when the play demands that exertion. He could turn without any disagreeable emotion from the writing of a
thing,
But he knew
in his soul
some place
Mr.
Willie
the
matter.
This
consideration
troubled
Stephen Miller
in his better
moments.
had
had long been knocking. But he had walked through it to another which lay beyond, and now he was sure that the first one had been not a treasure-house, but a dream.
not inevitable.
He
by his own permanent But to succeed as an architect, pose as a Platonist, and manage a commercial father-in-law, seemed vocation enough for Stephen. He told himself that Willie would be happier away employment
270
from home.
is
horrible to live in
know
Mr. Hopkinson and had been nervous and irritable since the afternoon when the Unseen World was brought into sudden and confusing proximity with their
dining-room furniture.
Loyalty, however, was expected of him.
It
was
well-
educated
his
father's
with
terror
the
own
'
upon the defence. I think,' he said, you must make allowances. You were startled the other day by Willie's behaviour, but he has a curious
way
of putting things
always
sees
has had.
that
It's
much
we do not
;
You
don't believe
as well as I
do that
it's
Our
'
by any means
Mr.
He
looked
carefully
at
Hopkinson.
He
don't
think,'
he
continued,
'
that
because
it's
necessary
CROSS-ROADS
No no,' replied not.' He regretted
'
271
'
Mr.
this
Hopkinson.
admission
it
Possibly
immediately,
before
it
and hurried on
in
could be recognised.
the
house.
But
Transcendentalists, and
ghosts,
and
so
on are out
of date.
It's
He
an
ought to
atavism
Reminds me,
Pauline,' said
'
Ah, nothing
a young chap.
is,
what's to be
go,
Bookbinding no
thanks to
day.'
If
you
said Stephen,
'
I'll
speak to him.'
He found
Italy
The sunshine
of
had faded. Much of the old misery had come back. Those deeps of experience in which his mother and he had found each other had ill prepared him for the squalid questions and strictly pathological sympathy of the following days. What on earth am I to do ?' he said. I can't
'
'
stay here.
They look
This
at
me
suspiciously.
?
They
doesn't
Funny,
isn't it
but me.
it
amuse
here,
I
for ever.
life is stifling
it.
When
272
'
You're
all
Some-
it
Oh yes, I must go. It's no use to stay. I thought was my duty to tell them the truth, so I tried. They saw I meant it, too, though they'll never acknowledge it. I made them feel for a minute that there is an invisible world, and father won't
'
forgive that
little
lies.
own
;
And anyhow
can't stay.
I've seen
but
He
to
stopped.
'
But
'
it
he said slowly.
see
it.
?'
else
me,
No,'
said
'
never.
Haven't
is
you
con-
learnt yet,
my
The idea of it ? must be in their minds first, or you can't wake it up there. You've had a try, and you see the Everyone takes you for a lunatic. Conresult. form, or clear out. It's the rule of the world, and
you'll be happier
'
if you give in to it.' And live round As you've done,' said W illie. the trivial almanac of games when I might be in
T
'
It's
no good
;
to sneer about
it.
Your way
can't be
is
my way ever
My
existence
I
run on quite
CROSS-ROADS
there's
273
gant
why
but
Your knowledge
for you,
it's
stand in
If I live
my own
all
my
I
the simple things, like and work and home can't be far wrong.'
my
world,
'
I feel
Somehow,
made
a difference in that
silently
filled
said Willie.
'
this
the grave
up.
;
Why,
isn't
already her
memory is
more.
beginning to fade
sharp-edged any
that, as
if
It's
life like
must leave a mark in the world, some patrin to show that I've passed.' But don't you see, that's just the root of my life ? The world put its impress on me, I want to
now,
I
'
leave
my
;
It
needn't be
work
I've
life will
do
it.
If I
trained
The
I feel
fault of
your sort
I
me
is
from things.
of existence.
It's
my
powers
all
round
'
But you've lost the Vision,' answered Willie. Oh, Stephen, and you nearly had it once Re!
member
how
clearly
you saw
then.'
18
274
'
I did,
because
it
was so
amusing.
No one can
He
This,'
'
is
the
be run
away with by
foolish.
other
making one
keep
should
plane.'
'
one's
One
the
literary
am
fey.
If so, it's
happy
But not
here.
The weight
life
of all
as
it is,
presses
;
me
can't hope.
Here,
its
'
must be alone, where there's a space. always remember the Illusion, but I only see
side.'
miserable
Then
go,' said
Stephen.
Willie
knew
He had
already
hinted to his sister that he would like to leave home, and the suggestion had been well received and Pauline, whose engagement took precedence of her
;
intellect,
to echo, without
editing,
At
close
an element~of uncertainty. At a
peculiar.'
'
clever,
but
CROSS-ROADS
'
275
'
If you'll think,'
Stephen continued,
intuitional
It's
you'll re-
truth
were
always
been
rest.
it
the
same
your truth
the
in
same
She
is
in the end.
You
can't be a citizen
when
an
a visionaria, a solitary
Willie
she lives as
anchoress.''
words.
last
They mixed themselves with Stephen's You can't be a citizen when you've ceased to believe in bricks and mortar.' The idea of that artist, working in her cell, had never gone far from his mind. To think of her was to feel the
remark,
'
busy air some ideal working-place. Work, he knew, he must have. Contemplation had brought him peace only whilst his troubles came from within. Now that death the death of friends had become a fact for him, nothing but the anodyne of manual labour would bring him back the poise from which he saw the joyous mystery of things. He began to understand something of the feeling of the hermits, whose refusal of the world, he thought, had been more a development than a denial of self. He
cool fragrance of the cloister, the quiet yet
of
The
restless
ennui which he
felt
in-
life
He 182
could
276
not pray in
remember
the
holy
Because
many
cities
and
that
was
no reason why he should do so. It was just as possible now as it ever had been to withdraw from the crowd and live quietly. He was set for a while on a great round world, tumbling through space. It was clearly in his right to choose for himself that part of it where his probation should be passed the place that could offer him the one thing he wanted, that ecstasy of knowledge which he had felt for a moment or two. Not stones and slates, but the intangible world of sordid personalities, shut him Their dream must always be unreal to him, in.
therefore useless.
intelligence,
Once he had
window
in
but
merely a grudging remembrance of the landscape he had seen. Love has more than one way of
anchoring a soul to earth.
But Hester Waring in her cell she, it seemed, had built herself a world from the happy difficulties of her art and the silent spaces of the earth. If she could so throw off the clogging habits of the crowd,
:
CROSS-ROADS
he could too.
lonely
;
277
He
But he was
wanted
flattery,
encouragement.
it
Now
as
I'll
he
said.
CHAPTER XXIII
THE VALLEY OF HUMILIATION
I have talked once or twice of the Shadowy Companion, but one must not forget that there is the Muddy Companion also.'
'
Arthur Machen.
When
was
sitting
with her back to the window, and in becoming proximity to a group of daffodils, arranged in the Japanese
manner in a Wedgwood soup-plate. She received him on the plaintively expectant note, which her
admirers were intended to mistake for cordiality.
He was welcome.
absence.
it
and the passive contempt which she had always felt for him was rapidly
affected his conversation,
changing to active
dislike.
and values of life, to a person who replies in terms of tees and niblicks. Willie came to her in the mood of a world-worn
He wanted advice, practical counsels for the future. He did not know as yet what to do with his new
freedom,
how
to act so that
278
he might not
lose the
279
he had gained.
tently the
problem.
Elsa, who pointed so persisway she did not go, might solve the He longed for an environment in which
fear.
This,
felt
much
to hope for.
But he
weary soul
and
of her like
an inky rainbow
life.
promise
in the
cloudy
skies of his
in the
room.
Its
atmo-
its
decoration.
was a sense
pression,
of insecurity.
unexpected movements
some unfamiliar
At forty years
of
attribute
shallow taste.
is
at
increasing
charm. Elsa had passed her perihelion now she was retreating from the sun. The last stages of her inflorescence had been accomplished with the violence peculiar to her race. With advancing years, the circle of her waist grew larger, and that of her
:
280
Diana
when
she
left
Olympus
woods.
engagement to Mildred had been the first check in a career at once virtuous and successful. He had worshipped her, and she had ceased to be
Willie's
was astounding, but so obvious it. But the breakdown of his passion had restored her self-esteem. Evidently, it had been a temporary aberration. She allowed herself the pleasure of forgiving him for a crime of which he was unconscious, and supposed that as consolatrix she had regained in full her old power over his mind. Now that he returned to her cool, cured and free she felt that the time had come to drive firmer rivets into the loose chain by which she had bound him. She did not want love. That was often inartistic and always dangerous. She wanted subservience. Her husband had never given it to her, and she still supposed that it was worth having. Willie's desertion was a sign, unmistakable if unexpected, that her charm was no longer sufficient to hold all the Who shall describe the spectres allegiance of a man. Elsa saw long that wait upon fading beauty ?
enough
for
him.
It
when
and
woman.
Even
wrecked her
281
she was bound to forget it was hinged on more delicate matters than her knowledge of Italian Art. She knew that ideal loveliness would give her no consolation in the moment when it became her only
all costs,
At
hope.
She
set herself
now
condescension.
relation.
He no
of
This
of
new
air
inde-
pendence, this
Mrs. Levi.
it,
assumption
equality,
pleased
She perceived that her prize, could she would be something better than the charming, neurotic bo}/ of the past. She was placed on her mettle. This was a man who could, if he chose, dominate her, rather than be possessed. As she looked at him, she felt again the delicious weakness, the happy helplessness of sex, which she was afraid that she had lost with her youth. She thanked Providence for this unexpected mercy it took ten
secure
:
But
I
it
'
I find
a change
in you.
Oh,
You are happier, stronger, are you not ? know your trouble. Death is terrible always,
But your
soul,
I
and a parting.
quiet
'
think,
is
more
if
?'
He
'
spoke meditatively, as
Yes,
I
think
begin to
282
understand.
first
;
not
all
owe you the thanks for that. I shan't be confused by the ugliness and artifice now. But I've thought lately that Stephen was partly right when he spoke
there's
more gradation.
Italy helped
'
so far as
it's
a sort of beauty.
;
It
must
an ardour, not an
things,
An
one's
outside
beautiful
oder
exquisite
emotions.'
He seemed to be gazing at Elsa, reading her, wanting her. But really he was seeing in a far-away
vision
picture which
Umbria, and the Franciscan chapel, and the had filled his heart with a humble and
Mrs. Levi, however,
a passionate desire.
met and
ment possessed
'
her.
'
Ultimate Beauty
passions,
is it ?
is
It is
a profanation.'
;
She had
slid into
the
But he no longer found her entirely convincing. He had made the inevitable progress from a general love
283
and distinction in Art. Elsa lacked the touch of austerity which was necessary to the satisfaction of his taste. She had developed, too, that dangerous tendency of brilliant women, which leads them to
parody, when they intend to accentuate, their
own
charms.
which hung about her possessions was a little too strong. So that a suggestion of the panther crept
in to
mar
Willie's admiration
;
he thought of the
of
subtle
claws
and a memory
the
mouse-like
and an appealing,
devotion.
without an audience.
How you and I !' she said. absolutely lonely I sometimes think that because of that there should be more than a common communion between us. We felt it from the first, did
'
How lonely we
!
are,
'
we not ?' You were always most kind to me,' said Willie. He moved uneasily Elsa frightened him. It is
'
:
284
idol
just found
out.
'
it is
because kindness
is
so
easy, so natural,
when one
spirit is in
sympathy with
another
tremulous key.
'
You and
I,'
alone amongst
all
these
human
could
machines, trying
help turning
and
?
light
squalor of things
How
It's
we
about
of
We
It
first
me
to
do
that,' said
Some form
it
of civil thanks-
later
Someinter-
human
of things.
fastidious.
the
medium
embrace.
husband's
caress, I fancy,
'
must always be a very desolate thing.' You're bound to be lonely,' answered Willie, if
'
you care
for loveliness at
all, I
think.
People don't
285
just
may have
it is
done once.
When
sees that
still
sleep,
can
One must
find one's
else.'
own
'
we not
as
it
has between you and me, and two spirits underoften think, as
I
look at lovers,
and wives perhaps, What use is this appearance of comradeship between your bodies, when your souls can never be companions ? With us, how different It is a joy to take the hand of a friend when there is no conventional glove between. There must be something beautiful,, something
!
emblematic,
think,
in
is
caress perhaps,
ship.'
'
which
Oh
'
It's
life
You
begin by trying to
be
it
stifles
your
if
a danger.
it
down
'
But
?
have
felt
have not
is
you
that material
not
Beauty
its
of things.
It
should
soul,
else,
communions and
it
revulsions.
What
indeed, can
Our physical acts, in that way, may become the paint upon the canvas of life.'
be for
?
286
'
it
like that.
Of
of
course,
sensual things
'
Yes, yes
That's what
mean.
And
the outer
and
symbols of a transcendental mystery.' Very suddenly, and without in any exact manner defining to himself the meaning of her words, Willie
frightened.
felt
spirit
trembled
as
if
an
'
evil beast.
are independent of
'
all
why
own
He
He was dazed by
his
A dreadful silence sprang up vivid intuition. between them. It was like the slow droppings of As each second passed, and each drop cold water. fell, Willie, knowing that Mrs. Levi watched him carefully, felt her personality come round him like a
cloud.
At
first,
new
seemed
to
be
called into
existence
by the
Her
eyes,
wide open,
meet
his.
287
The heavy
Willie's
pened
hung about the room dulled brain. Something tremendous had haphe did not quite know what it was. The
scents that
lie
at the
its
back
of Silence
danger and
of him. He recognised in himself a dark personality, now fully born, of which he had known nothing in the
had a horrible fascination. It lived, he perceived, in some black and unsuspected world to which he had never penetrated yet it was as truly a part of his Ego as the soul that he watched over so carefully. Still in silence, he saw a monster rear itself up in Mrs. Levi's spirit, look at him through her eyes with a horrible longing. And the creature that was hidden in him said to him insistently, Seize your It is yours why do you wait ?' prey. The silence seemed now to have lasted many hours. It was this that had loosed these prisoners upon them. The chatter of daily life shuts down many terrible
past.
It
it
'
captives,
moments when
This silence was more dangerous than all the There was distilled from it
some
Willie
violent impulse
morbid,
evil,
unspeakable.
knew now
of pleasures
common
things of sense,
and
tempta-
288
tions
tried to live
altogether in the
The inner enemy was creeping upwards. The stillness and that strange glow in Elsa's eyes seemed Shape your dream as you choose. to be crying Matter means nothing. It is only the clumsy vehicle He began to tremble. She saw it, and of soul.' She would not move. her excitement increased.
'
and for full intoxication was necessary that he should be the captor,
;
for
it
laid a
beam
room.
almost a sound
The sky stood between the dingy roofs and chimneys the same immaculate purity that had vaulted in the magic of Italy. Below it, the tree tossed its sacrifice of yellow blossoms, in a gay revel of perfection which was piety and daintiness It drew his thoughts abruptly to the in one. ordered and exquisite places unsullied by human
grime,
ideal.
where
life
He looked back
289
her setting.
The creature
It
whom
she had
roused in him
a
knew nothing
of the heavens,
and only
like
shrank back,
germ
of disease,
The
dark magic had vanished. Everything, after all, was sane and normal. Mrs. Levi seemed to have faded, become ordinary. He had thought of Lilith now he saw only Eve. The horrible things that he had learnt in the silence retreated to a great distance. He came back from the dark dimension and looked about him first
:
distinct,
he began to question
own
perceptions.
back to her
assured condescension.
that he had wronged her
carried the weight
Then
:
it
which
his
He had been betrayed into the last meanness He felt hot, ashamed wondered of male vanity. how much she had read of his thought. He dared
posed.
:
But he withdrew the hand that she had kept between her ringers. Her touch burnt it. To Elsa, perceiving her mistake, behaved well. shock Willie would be to humiliate herself she set
not speak.
:
modesty.
Fortunately
One dexterous touch from her would be enough to make it entirely unintelligible. The legend of S. Catherine,' she said, puts the
first.
'
'
19
290
not
ring given in a
dream
?'
What symbol
relief
could be
more appropriate
Willie's instant
and obvious
was perhaps
Elsa drove
back the unbecoming tears from her eyelids, and saw for one hateful instant the gulf which her years of maturity had placed between them. Then she pushed him a little from her and looked at him,
almost in her
there
old. kindly, patronizing
way.
Perhaps
was a new glitter in her eyes had he seen it, but he was glad to avoid them. Why weren't you my son, Willie ?' she said. I often think the fairies must have changed you with Geraint. There is something in you that appeals to me so strangely, makes me feel almost that you are
' '
mine.'
and discussed it in all its bearings so that the phantom which lay between them was pushed out of sight, seemed
Willie received this idea gratefully,
:
unreal, impossible.
It
is
really quite
difficult
to
is
when one
pretty
eating
thin
bread-and-butter in a
house
The tense
expression, the
had gone from Elsa's face. Willie began wonder whether it had ever been there. But as he was leaving, her acting broke abruptly. She caught his arm and looked into his face. He felt the fingers shake upon his sleeve. But I'm a fool she said. Oh, what a fool
'
!'
'
291
it
could
us,
have been
because of
beautiful
oh, indeed
did.
With
into
the artistry
life,
it.
And
all
my
I've
Glamour
even
And
there's a
it
a magic.
With you,
She forgot her pose and her reservations. She came closer to him, showing in her carelessness the
loose folds of tired skin on her neck
lines of unwilling
;
the peevish
Her
lips
were almost on
It
his
cheek
was
horrible.
He
air,
blundering
down
the stairs,
came
It
left
a part
existent
free,
behind.
He knew
now
strong,
a Man.
life,
That
him the
Higher Beauty,
basement
lision
first
of their intercourse
this made
it
him rock
into col-
came
For the
19
292
hatred.
evil
venomous
and aggressive
in
the body.
It
is
that
words
memory in
horrible
endless procession
stilled.
They made a
But for them, his mind was silent. Their steady tramp drowned the rushing trebles of the street. It is so hard for a man, if he
and tuneless
noise.
be of pure
of the
life,
is
anything
animal
in
woman-friend.
Elsa, clever
and absurd, kindly and affected, always restfully Now appreciative he had felt so safe with her he should never forget the evil thing which had
artistic
stealthy touch
latent in him.
:
Half the
There had been a beauty of ugliness in the morbid forces which Elsa had loosed between them and another, unexpected element
;
was added
to the tangle of
life.
When
torn,
is
it is
we may
see
how
necessary
their presence
even
for
CHAPTER XXIV
THE PATH RUNS TO THE WOODS
Then he went on till he came to the house of the Interpreter, Then said the Interpreter, where he knocked over and over. Come in I will show that which will be profitable to thee.'
' . .
John Bunyan.
Looking
nymphs, dryads, elemental presences of the forest. They stand shadowy upon the paths they laugh and sigh and sometimes the soul hears them with a sudden terror. Paganism is thrust upon one in the country a whole invisible, immemorial population walks upon the lonely heaths and makes the brushwood tremble. It cries, You come with your new beliefs your religions, dragged from the East and seated in the heavens your science, and your blinded commonsense and deny us. But we we looked out on Arthur's knights, to us the old Romans came in fear and in secret we are of the Earth, all-powerful and intangible. You cannot touch us, and we cannot die.
is
easier
than to believe
in
'
293
294
All
is
Earth
is
her
and seen of none. You speak We to us of a Christ who came from the Heavens. say no, He came from the Earth. The sum of her pure impulses and poetic forces, her power for a magical righteousness, reached their term in Him.
breath, pervading
all
He
is
whom
;
of the forests
know dimly
Both live. But do not fling back the terrible birth on Earth's bosom, and deny her her Beautiful Son. Look back, and see how many times she has strained toward the ideal which He perfected see the Buddha births, the fair god of the Norsemen, Phcebus Apollo, and the rest. The
Christ.
;
Pan and
Incarnation was an incarnation of Earth-holiness, which God gave her with the breath of life when
she was made.'
In such a
way
He gave them
a willing attention.
;
He
had developed the sense of adventure that power which differentiates the romantic from the prosaic world. He felt that everything was possible, and
to one
who
is
sure to come.
Want
of faith in the
improbable
is
Those who go whistling down the road, eyes raised to the sun and hope waiting round
in our lives.
life
a dis-
appointing one.
THE PATH RUNS TO THE WOODS
Memory
painter,
of
295
its
Fra Agostino,
is
his altar-piece
and
map
of the
woody
hamlet that
Mary-le-Street,
him upon
these travels.
;
He
looked for
surprise,
termination
for
some beautiful
seemed smiling, helpful, and unexpected. So that he was not astonished when the turning of a comer, as the trodden path wandered through the pinewood, brought an abrupt change in the scenery.
From
ings
the
moment when he
he had
felt
left
himself to be in surround-
Now
he
quaint, definite.
The
side
trees stood
up
straight
and high on
each
of
him
like
sanctuary
where they
Between the austere ranks brown and purple trunks and dark network But of their crowns, the sky, very blue, peeped in. where he stood, trees fell away suddenly for a little It seemed to thread its glade of vivid mossy grass.
way
far
down
if
and
English magic.
He had
etchings,
strayed
into
country of
Durer's
Benozzo
Gozzoli.
He
moment he might
296
and follow it till it reached the cave where S. Giles was praying. He wondered which would be the most likely encounter Snow-white and her dwarfs, or the Three Magi with their camels and their gifts. The background
see a white hart flash past him,
demanded pretty
whether
building,
miracles,
withdrawn and gardened amongst the trees. The afternoon sun hit its roof, which flamed rosily against an emerald backdelicately
ground.
It
sombre
curious.
solitude.
It
he was
was
know what it could be. Then he came up to it, where it stood guarded by two great larches. And it was a shrine that he saw a whitewashed shrine, with red-tiled roof deep-eaved to keep it from the rain. There was
English woods.
did not
He
the
primitive
masters
clear
flat
tints,
firm
minute and loving finish of detail. It was charming and appropriate in this place, where a pretence at realism in art would have declared itself
outlines, a
tall
that
forest.
Behind
feet
her,
larch,
At her
was
all
297
and
She raised a
;
Mother
and
perched on her
Venite
nello
;
lifted
arm
two fluffy white rabbits, painted as Pisamight have painted them, were against the
picture, full of the kindly sorcery
it,
hem
It
was a quiet
alight
it
of the forest.
In front of
a plain silver
lamp
with
was
cult
of a mysterious
them.
picture,
Two
moss stood
It
was
read
these
words
'
:
Of your
the soul of
this place
Francis Waring,
remembrance
The mystical air of the place was explained to him then. He had come upon a spot set apart for the recollection of the Dead. At such, he knew, one is more than ordinarily near the Eternal Thing. He knelt down. Again, as when he saw the Lady Poverty, he felt that some great invitation was being offered to him that there was here a new, simple,
;
life.
He found
;
the
it
and with
itself in
298
and delightful sounds which are thwarted by mere active human presence, rush in on its stillness then. It is the saints in their open cells, the artists alone with their work, who know
All the natural
what magic of suggestion goes with the murmuring leaves and delicate movements of the earth. All these things came to Willie as he knelt, and raised up in him the Pagan passion of the soil. It was one of those moments, for him so rare and precious, when his dream wrapped him round closely and he could not believe in ugliness. So that he stayed there, not in any serious meditation, but merely
enjoying his
own
till
unity of things,
place shame.
It was a woman who stood by him a woman whose hair ran away from her face in interesting ripples, and twined itself into an umber coronet for her head. Willie's first thought of her was that he had never seen anyone before who had so much of the thirteenth-century in her look and indeed Nature, hesitating between a grotesque and a Gothic Madonna, had given to her a quaintness which was
;
;
the quintessence of
her features
delicate
knowing,
elfish
charm. One almost missed and irregular, with a sort of purity stamped on them because
all
first
and held
it.
It
was
299
an angel up to mischief.
It
was
holi-
humour and
and very splendid ancestry. She stood beside Willie for some moments. He had conquered the first impulse toward flight, and knelt still on the step of the shrine. Human life, be what it may, seems dream-like and elusive in the forest. He had no very direct sense of her nearness, for two things only were now real to him the
picture of
of
it
What
are
you doing
?'
she said.
He wished
to keep
what he had
ness.
'
got, undisturbed
by external strange-
am
is
'
At any
the
she said,
'
and
that
He
'
knew her
for a friend.
It's hard,'
he said.
'
Dreadfully
difficult.
And
There
shake
It's easier in
from a
it
city.
That's so suffocating.
life
is
But
it.'
you'll
off
the whole of
forest,
time, he thought
whom
she
300
must be, and saw in this quiet meeting in the woods the Event that his spirit had waited for. But he
doubted, because she
a gay liberty
vowed
'
to
the religious
You
cannot,' he said,
'
be Hester Waring,
who
lives here as
an Anchoress
?'
She laughed.
'
Can't
I ?'
?
she answered.
'
Why
not
Am
Or perhaps not solemn enough ? But when you've lived alone with the sky and the forest, right away from the squalor of things, you
too
healthy
can't
be solemn.
a
Everything's right.
'
Leben
goes
with
dance
She
'
stopped.
'
But
it's
Altar,' she
added.
?'
here
Have you
!
Yes, really
It's
One
of
its
Crusoe. I'm as unknown now as when I came. The owner doesn't preserve, so there are no keepers no other murder is done here than the natural law
;
of the wood. Jays may live as well as pheasants, and sometimes pussy-cat owls look in on me at
has never stirred out of Italy since he came into his own.
friend,
night.
My
who
possesses
He
whom
the
301
come from Italy to you.' Of course you have It's where all the mystics come from, first or last. The Holy Land of Europe The only place left, I suppose, which is really
I've
'
!
There
is
a type of mind,
you know, which must go there to find itself.' I was only there for thirteen days.' Days ? What are days ? It's the spirit, not
'
'
One may
live
through a
She rubbed her eyes with a little impatient moveif she wanted to see something beyond the picture that they showed to her mind. Far down in their depths, a sombre angel sat and weighed all that he saw. He was considering very gravely the case of Mr. Willie Hopkinson, whose freckled face and careful clothing scarcely agreed with the attitude of his soul. Mrs. Waring loved an adventurer, but hated an affectation. W ho, she wondered, was this rather second-rate young man, who had thrust
ment, as
T
her
home
He looked
less
Commercial Traveller.
'
come
'
else.
picture,
and
knew
that
302
Willie looked round him. The hush of the woods seemed like an invocation. He felt an intruder, small and mean in the midst of the enduring forest but it gathered him up without effort and folded him in the general peace.
'
Here,' he said,
'
He
'
up with a sudden friendship. Yes,' she said, you can and if you've got that, you're never lonely.' She stooped and trimmed When Francis It had flickered. the silver lamp. passed over,' she said, it seemed that there was only a great darkness left. But I said to myself
'
;
Her
'
'
" Pazienza
shall
die
too.
It
is
a regrettable
down
But
I
had
did
So
came
I
would like to pass the time as beautifully as I could. It would be a pity if I met him with a sullied spirit he went away before life had time to tarnish and finger his soul.' And you found him ?' asked Willie. She looked at him sharply. How did you know that ?' she said.
wild clean creatures.
thought that
'
'
know
it,'
know
I
that
shall never
live in the
crowd.
I've got
the soul of
my
303
;
at peace
so
you must have found him.' She considered him very gravely. how far you have got.' I wonder,' she said, Oh, not far. In Italy, I just began to see. But my life's been passed in ugly places, and I wasn't
'
'
It
seems so much
easier,
we
sin against
hour
of the day.
crime
is less
great.
:
Beauty, after
Christ
all, is
the visual
the world
;
side of goodness
it is
immanent in
and
'
its
crucifixion
still
goes on.'
too,' said Willie.
'
I've seen
Heaven and Hell, and the light at the back of things. But I lose it all so quickly. I daren't live the conventional life it makes me forget the real things.
;
'
God made.'
all
It's
hard to do,
no.
It's
the same.'
to
'Oh
childish
think that.
Alle
the
304
and
air
all
Well then,
why
And
can't
?
plicity
You
you take them and enjoy them in simhaven't got them for long, you know.
if
afterwards,
you'll regret.
I
baby
get back to the elemental stage, and express themselves through a are really in love
?
who who
is
about people
They
it.'
He saw
She showed him her cottage, of a shining order. her books, her little cooking-stove in one
;
demure work-table, in the other a shelf with her tiny store of china, and a knife, fork, and spoon laid out. Everywhere, the neatness was so satisfying that it verged on actual beauty. There was a cot folded sailor-fashion against the wall, and behind it a cast of Michael Angelo's stern and impassioned Mary with her Child. Hester caught W illie's look as he saw it. That goes deeper than a crucifix,' she said. It's
corner, a
T ' '
He
said
to
her
' :
It's
perfect here
one could
kind of dream.
seem tedious
?'
305
Xo, not
now
The
and thinking things out, and keeping the and the shrine perfect. And then I've generally some creatures in the infirmary to look and in the winter, when it's stormy, I can after always cook, and that never bores me.'
painting,
cottage
'
Cook ?
'
Oh
yes
ing.
It's
most
animal part of
and dishes of fire-proof china, moulds, pastry-board, and things to sift and grate with. There were
groceries in their little labelled jars.
My toy-cupboard,' said the Anchoress. A ladder led to the sky-lit attic where
'
her work
was
all
set out
Willie,
felt his
;
and colour-pots, all disposed with a loving touch which spoke of happy and deliberate labour.
He
felt
of the meanest acts. Outside were the sheltered hutches of her infirmary. Two maimed rabbits, a broken-winged pigeon, a damaged
When
is it
came
here,'
she said,
'
some people
life.
talked to
me
But
more
recluse,
20
306
We
is
are
all alive
The
Spirit of
;
God
in the
woods
He
'
that
it
was possible
life
to live
as this.
And
you to live in the open, surely that's no reason why you should go back and live in the dark with them.' If only one could That's just what I think. The make them believe how satisfactory this is
'
!
civilized,
mind me
They spend
!
all
their
And
the
!
so easy to get
so cheap
terely
in the
air,
remind you
culties
so,
of the
And
face
to
and body
That's
diffi-
accept the
in the
discipline.
life.
Live
and
up and
you
will
have
built
be detached, keep clear of the games and the gossip they glue you to the earth. But I think you've
learnt that.
What you've
all
not learnt
is
that only
Oh,
know
about
love.'
307
You
I
delicious
infant
!'
she said.
?
'
You
of
don't
think
mean
is.
passion, do
you
Oceans
!
bathos
of desire
That's no use,
You must
as a
you
being
offered to
is
you
symbol
of
beyond.
It's
only
loving alliance
with the
of
life.
your duty to
live beauti-
You've got you use it for ugliness you will die. You know that, and you fear it. But you mustn't be afraid, you must love. You've been hunting all your life for initiation,
That's the only law.
your moment
of self-expression,
and
if
haven't you
But
initiation
and love
are
all
one.
negation of God.'
thinking her
to
wise,
charming, enviable.
Her manner
was clever had helped his discontent to pass from the sensory to the motor region. She knew very well that he was one of her
Yet, with light touches, she
:
company
is
made
life.
As he
left her,
Go back by
It is better
for you.'
its
way by winding
stages from
20
308
prim.
Finally,
it
its firm outline and became grassy and uncertain of itself. In another moment it was gone and Willie checked his stride with a sudden He seemed to have stepped catching of the breath.
a gateway, lost
from the woods to the downland from inclusion to infinite space from a home- world to the very far country which stretches to the Hills of Desire. The downs went away from
burst, in fact,
;
He had
him
end.
green,
grey,
mauve on
the
horizon.
One
in their aus-
terity.
He saw
no other
lent
;
But the
silence
was benevoand a
Earth, undis:
up her maternal
rights
showed him,
The mesh of Time had broken. Eternity was here and now and he, wondrous, immortal, saw through the glass} symbol which is Nature the glory of the
:
spiritual flame.
upon the
:
grass
he
felt like
come home.
CHAPTER XXV
COMMENTARIES
'
feel for
the
common chord
again.'
Browning.
have you heard ?' Judging I hope not,' answered Elsa languidly. by your expression, it seems likely to be vulgar.' On the contrary,' replied Mrs. Steinmann, it's more your business than mine. That wretched young Hopkinson, whom you made such an absurd
'
My dear,'
'
'
'
'
fuss of
'
'
What, Willie ?' said Elsa with some eagerness. She had heard nothing of Mr. Willie Hopkinson since
their last interview.
His presence
was
insipid.
The
bined
involuntary
propriety
of
her
life,
and
are
and depress
her.
There
an
Elsa longed
home.
To be
of
interesting
hard fate
many
intelligent
39
310
of
her
soul.
Their wives
began to
is
call
Charm
it is
not
picturesque to
of a stout
murmur
To
a small
may
and the minds of Elsa's confidants, though perfect in detail and often uncommon in shape,
were rather restricted as to
All this
size.
made
threw into sharper contrast the intelligent comprehension of her disciples. Destiny seemed deter-
mined
to
annoy
her.
Even her
children refused to
Tristram
had written from Paris of his engagement to an American student of voluptuous charm, and she saw the future in a horrid vision. She had longed for a lover, but Providence, it appeared, was
inclined to give her a grandchild instead.
artistic
for she
God
ground to existence that she was careful not to blot Him out. But now she became impatiently atheistical as the morning sunshine faded. She could not believe in a Deity who was rude enough to permit
her to suffer in such an uninteresting way.
COMMENTARIES
Mrs. Steinmann
311
now brought
life.
news of Willie's withdrawal from civilized had long been her belief that Elsa had made a fool of him a work of supererogation not to be classed amongst the duties of a wife and mother. The discomfiture of their erring relations is an act of charity which few good women would willingly neglect. Having noted Mrs. Levi's excitement, Mrs. Steinmann kept her waiting for several minutes,
to her the
It
:
took
off
Well
!'
she said,
'
see that
sooner or later
be anything so
off into
word
to Pauline,
who
went on ordering
in his extra
;
Young men
housekeeper.
are so selfish
no consideration
going to live
little
down
some
:
hamlet
in Sussex, miles
from a railway-station
you could find He'd seen a cottage on the downs that he liked, and nothing would do but he must live there alone and do bookbinding.' The blow was sudden. Elsa, unable to pretend
as inconvenient as
it's
and altogether
called S. Mary-le-Street.
312
in the
shadow and
!'
it is
of his
temperament,
!
think.
fail
you've heard the end of the story, Of course, he's his own master, being over twenty-one and Mr. Hopkinson allows him
'
He
till
can scarcely
my
dear.
But he's going, own cooking and everything, just like a common working-man. Think of the discomfort and the mess And no one will take any notice of him. You know what County people are
if
you
please, to
do
his
Socialist.'
'
That,' said
Elsa,
deal.'
'
And what
:
'
is
He was always
no one to
for himself,
delicate
and out
Cooking
not
too
chronic
It's
gastritis.
mercy that his poor mother died before this happened it would have killed her, for he was
;
And then,
as I said to Pauline,
live in
?
what
sort of a place
Some
horrible
little
windows
and ten
to one the
COMMENTARIES
'
313
'
happy
in me.'
'
such a
life.
It
appeals to
that
is
best
The
risk of typhoid,
Willie doesn't
know what
it
If
he had con-
away
so
hurriedly,
common-sense, as well as being more respectful. What I quite intended to suggest to him was, that
he and Geraint should take a
little flat
together
somewhere towards Hammersmith, or Chiswick. That is the right locality for Willie, with his fancy and Geraint could have come for Arts and Crafts up by the tram and tube.' I don't think they would have agreed very well together their temperaments are so diverse.'
;
'
'
And
I
Willie
he
is
to live alone.
could have
have been very comfortable indeed.' For a permanency, I should prefer the society of the typhoid bacillus to that of Geraint,' said
'
You
rest
my
dear.
He
all
you put together. Mr. Hopkinson thinks great things of him. Only the other day, he
314
said to
Young Levi
'
will
do well
l
he knows
is
Mr. Hopkinson
Well, he's really behaving most sensibly not but what he always was a very reasonable, intelli;
gent man.
quite right.
He
organic mischief.
might be a genius but as it is, he's only a fool. Of course he isn't dangerous but being like that,
;
naturally
it isn't
into business
anywhere else. It's cheap, and not so exciting him as town life and the main thing is to prevent him from making a nuisance of himself. A terrible thing, isn't it ? I can't think where it can come from, for poor Mrs. Hopkinson was quite normal. It's lucky Pauline shows no signs of eccentricity. Mr. Hopkinson says that Willie is a
as
for
;
civilization.'
'
Ah,
well,'
said Elsa,
of
view
But his life, he may be so perhaps. had powers that were not of this age. I shall miss him. The companionship of a mystic is like But I cannot a pool of water in a sandy land. blame his decision. His environment was not congenial, and solitude is better than boredom. As Meister Eckhardt so beautifully said, " A crowd But is often more lonely than a wilderness."
of material
soul
COMMENTARIES
still, I
315
should think he
may
feel
souls, of
sympathy, after a time.' Mrs. Steinmann laughed. Her daughter, who was trying to feel exalted, thought the noise
unpleasant.
'
didn't think
'
you were
of
said.
A woman
your age
It
isn't
want
of
sympathy that Willie will suffer from. I should have thought you might have guessed that there was a young woman at the bottom of this ridiculous
plan of
'
his.'
*
is
You do
not
know him
as
do.
It
mystic
life.'
he wanted,
hear
my dear.
He's got
it
artist, I
much more about the cold purity phase. An understand, who lives down there entirely
She gives herself out as a widow,
it.
unchaperoned.
ated
Willie's infatu-
told
"
whatever
Ah,
understand so well
of course,
!'
she said.
'
It is
it
an
illusion,
will
was bound
to
happen
so difficult.
But
still, it is
very disappointing
316
for those
No
who
1
a picturesque and rustic woman, I expect, milks a cow and talks of the poetry of mother:
hood.'
1
mann, means
and
to
me
that looks
all
the worse.
is
No
and
which
in these cases.
Pauline told
me
;
all
about
it,
my
that she
is
immaculate at present
fall
time
it
will
Those moony
adventuress
boys always
first
Stephen
*****
had been down
to
visit
Willie
ambassador from the outraged proprieties of His mission included an inquiry into the sanitation
of
an home.
:
and the
cost of living
in S. Mary-le-Street.
He came back
with a sort
when he had mentioned the result of the visit to Mr. Hopkinson to see them, is to feel that one has
'
To
tersely
'
somehow missed
I
fire in life.
health
hope.
transformed.
little
COMMENTARIES
from the shrine
in the
317
wood.
and
whilst one
life.
is
there,
one
feels
shames me when
all
'
you wouldn't
?'
like
to
be a
'
poor Willie
?'
What
a failure
said Stephen.
'
His dark
intelligent face
help thinking,
when
had a discontented look. I couldn't I was with him, that the sort of
life
:
thing
all.
we
call
a successful
it's
is
Of course,
amusing
but
rather the
I
know
You
stiffly.
As
One has
one's
duty to consider
and
of course Willie
has shirked
had
'
and buried what talents he most disgraceful way.' Well, I don't know. He's responsible for himand as for talents, he is doing self in the first place I saw some of the bindings he beautiful work. had finished. They had a sort of distinguished He's found himself, that's Tightness about them.
in the
:
318
the truth
;
something out
reach.
felt
that he couldn't
have worked like that in London. It's the great spaces and quiet influences that are turning him I asked him if he were sure he'd into an artist. made a wise choice and he said " I don't want
:
to
be wise.
peace, they
is
but
my
said
Star
carried
and hidden."
'
'
How
perfectly
ridiculous,'
Pauline
with
decision.
Much
even admire
took root.
country.
Stephen,
'
she
felt
that
it
was only
right to check
him before
rather sadly.
:
would never do for us,' answered Stephen He But he and Mrs. Waring stopped Hester had charmed him, and he knew But that it would be better not to speak of her. Pauline was curious.
'
Oh,
it
'
'
'
'
that
it is
?'
quite
all
right
'
invulnerable.
And
now
I
in exactly the
same way
COMMENTARIES
was
talking, but her face
319
in repose.
Still,'
the world,
her,
'
it
risky.
Willie
must admire
to
like that.'
perfectly safe.
;
Men
it
don't
fall
would be too
appropriate.'
Did Willie talk about her much ?' No. He talked about his work our work making beauty. He seemed as though he still wanted to help me to see what he has seen trace out the Divine in the world. As I came away, he
1
God
'
/"
'
What
rubbish
!'
said
It
Pauline.
thoroughly exasperated.
Stephen remained
a
little
silent.
He was
thinking out
to
him by
His
little
Willie's words.
and
sadness vanished
Presently
he would
Heaven's Atrium.'
song.'
Pauline
temper.
She
320
and
reflected that
remarks
if made by a common-place person, are often clever when they come from a literary man. Stephen's vagrant views were sometimes tiresome but what did that
irritatingly foolish
Alle
men, she knew, required management. She took his hand, and rubbed her cheek against it.
'
Darling
!'
'
how
nice
it
is
in
by any
of those
morbid ideas
!'
THE END
August, 1902
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