Todos los pardos son gatos

By Martha Cerda
English Translation by Andra Yount

Introduction
By Andra Yount

All Cats Are Gray… is Martha Cerda’s tragicomic homage to Elena Garro, the famous

Mexican writer1 whose works explored the interplay between illusion and reality. In this one-act

play, Cerda emulates Garro’s writing style, playing with language in ways that make translation

a difficult endeavor. A third literary tradition, that of the conceptismo2 of seventeenth-century

poet Francisco de Quevedo3, pervades the play. This work showcases Cerda’s continuation of the

remarkable literary tradition of her predecessors by fusing international conflicts with household

conflicts, animals with humans, and comedy with tragedy.

A word to readers of English—the English title falls short of the original Spanish one in

that Todos los pardos son gatos includes both word play and an idiomatic reference that those

outside the Spanish-speaking world may find confusing in direct translation. I have chosen to

express the direct phrase “all cats are gray” with an added ellipsis to suggest complexity. The

ellipsis suggests that the sameness referenced in the title is only an appearance. In Cerda’s play,

years, people, and places get confused in the mind. Because much of the action takes the form of

1
and sometime wife of Octavio Paz
2
style of writing that used simple language, irony, humor, and wordplay and privileged multiple meanings over
flowery language
3
Translator’s note: the original title in Spanish is Todos los pardos son gatos, which literally translates to All the
Grays Are Cats. The title is a variation on the saying, “de noche todos los gatos son pardos” or “at night, all cats are
gray” from poet Francisco de Quevedo’s work. Here Martha Cerda is playing with language to align her own writing
style with that of Elena Garro, the main character in the play.

1
memories, the realness of the events is always uncertain. The word play in the original title may

become apparent after reading Scene 9, when Cat II asks, “if I said that all writers are crazy, is it

the same as saying that all lunatics are writers?...What if I say that all ambassadors are men? Is it

the same as saying that all men are ambassadors?” Each scene offers a new theatrical canvas for

discussing the catastrophic events of 1968 as well as larger, universal questions that extend

beyond national borders. Ultimately, Cerda’s play is a fantastic, dramatized contemplation of

human problems: life, death, loyalty, the passage of time, and the idea of home. Elena’s family

members (including their pet cats) tackle one philosophical problem at a time, even amidst their

impending eviction. Elena says it best in Scene 3: “We’re fixing the world with a cup of coffee,

like good Mexicans.”

2
Introduction by Artemio González García which accompanied the original manuscript:

All Cats Are Gray… is a one-act play in which Martha Cerda steps into the genre of

playwriting. We are not going to compare it with her narrative writing, which has already been

critically acclaimed.

This dramatized theatre piece, better expressed as a dramatic synthesis according to

Elena’s evocation, is about the bloody events of ’68 in Mexico and the consequential exile of the

writer. The dialogues are congruent with the emotional states of her and her daughter: they are

going to be evicted from their apartment in Paris, and in their difficult economic situation, they

recount life’s ups and downs.

The tragic action is not being represented: it is being remembered with such intensity in

Elena’s mind that in a specific moment the violence is made present from various geographical

latitudes, and the shootings of the Prague Spring4 intermingle with those of October 2 in

Tlalteloco:

ELENA: Shut up. Don’t you hear anything?

HUSBAND: Seems like a shooting. Where is it coming from?

ELENA: One from here, others from Prague, and more farther away from Tlalteloco.

Another notable aspect is the symbiosis of the cats with citizens who have renounced their

country, whose sarcastic tone is a denunciation of the oppressive nationalism that limits and

unrecognizes man as a human being.

In the cats’ dialogue with the Ambassador, we find an easily achieved plot among the elements

of the dialogue that has certain absurdist resonances of one of the fundamental schools of the

twentieth century in the great dramaturgical tradition.

Ambassador: Don’t you know where you were born?

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Cats 1 & 2: Yes, we do. What we don’t know is where we are from, or better yet, what is ours.

The cats are men in disguise. They do know where they were born, but they don’t know

where they come from.

The theatrical action of Martha’s play conveys an ideological dynamic that allows us to

glimpse a universal humanism.

A man knows where he was born, but not where he is from.

The political state imposes relentless denials to his true freedom, and such a situation

transforms him into a man without a homeland. Only if the frontiers were erased and the whole

planet was one country of foreigners, would social ills end.

CATS 1 & 2: A world just for foreigners. In that case, exiles would cease to exist, governments,

and therefore corruption: typical restaurants, ballets folklóricos, civil wars, McDonalds chains,

and even world wars.

The cure-all solution that Martha Cerda proposes for world ills is an idealistic anarchy and a

philosophical reality because even the man who lives on his land is a foreigner of Earth.

Artemio González García

4
 To Elena Garro, with admiration.
ALL CATS ARE GRAY…
A drama in one act

Behind every great man is a great woman.

CHARACTERS
ELENA: (mother), 75 years.
HELENITA: 40 years.
GLORIA: 40 years.
GLORIA’S HUSBAND: 45 years.
GIRL, GLORIA’S DAUGHTER: 12 years.
CAT I.
CAT 2.
AMBASSADOR.

SCENERY: Living room of an apartment in an elegant district of Paris, with an access door to
the street.

Furniture is French-style, but old and neglected. The room is in disarray. In the background, a
table with chairs and a closet.

TIME: January 1992.

ACT ONE

First Scene: The curtain opens, and Elena appears in one corner of the living room, listening to

the intercom handset and covering the other end with her hand. On the other side of the door

Gloria, Husband, and Girl wait. Gloria is ringing the bell.

GLORIA: No answer.

5
HUSBAND: Is there anyone there?

GLORIA: I told Helenita that we would come. (She stops ringing the bell.)

HUSBAND: Keep trying.

GLORIA: Helenita told me that she went out at six, and it’s almost six.

(Looking at her watch.) Maybe she hasn’t arrived, but the other Elena ought to be there.

(Ringing the bell again.)

GIRL: We’d better go.

GLORIA: Coming to Paris and not visiting them would be unthinkable.

HUSBAND: If she’s not here in ten minutes, we’re leaving. Maybe they forgot. You see, they’re

kind of weird.

GLORIA: Shut up, they might be listening to us.

ELENA: Who is this? (Talking through the intercom. She has been listening to everything).

GLORIA: It’s me, Elena. Gloria Vásquez.

ELENA: Ah.

GLORIA: We agree with Helenita that we’ll come at six.

ELENA: I’m going to open…Are you in? (by intercom).

GLORIA: Yes. (Pushing the door).

Elena comes close to the door dragging her feet, as Gloria, Husband, and Girl come in slowly,

looking everywhere, dressed with boots, coat, scarves and gloves. Husband and Girl will not take

off the garments until they are ready for dinner. Gloria greets Elena with a half hug.

GLORIA: How are you, Elena?

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ELENA: (Dressed in a gown, disheveled and with a piece of toilet paper stuck to her forehead).

Bad. Bad, I’m very depressed. (Lights a cigarette).

GLORIA: (Hesitantly). Didn’t Helenita tell you we were coming?

ELENA: Yes, but I fell asleep. I should fix myself up, but I feel so bad. Sit down. Helenita

won’t be long.

(Elena sits on the only couch, along with Gloria, who takes her coat off. Husband and Girl are

left standing, not knowing where to sit.)

Grab some chairs over there.

(Pointing out the corner to Husband where there is a table with various chairs. Husband places

the chairs in front of the couch and Husband and Girl sit in them.)

GLORIA: How are you doing after returning from Mexico?

ELENA: Worse than before. I didn’t want to go because I knew that this was going to happen.

We don’t have money for rent or food because Helenita hasn’t gotten paid for two months. They

offered to give her vacation in advance, and now they say no. I knew it. I’m so angry with those

assholes. Do you want a grape?

(Taking one from a plate with fruit on the table).

GLORIA: I do. What about you? (Addressing Husband and Girl).

HUSBAND: Thank you. (Taking a grape and giving another to Girl).

GLORIA: How long does it take for Helenita to go from here to her office?

ELENA: About half an hour.

GLORIA: Elena, if you want lie down, we’ll wait for her.

ELENA: No, I’ve been lying down since I came from Mexico.

GLORIA: I read about it in an interview that they did recently. So it was true?

7
ELENA: Did you believe that it wasn’t?

GLORIA: It’s that after that big reception in Mexico, it’s unforgivable that you’re in this

situation.

ELENA: Well, it’s the truth, I don’t know why we were there. (The doorbell is heard). It must be

Helenita. (Getting up, she goes toward the intercom preparing to open the door).

SCENE 2

HELENITA: (Entering) You’re already here? That’s great. Mommy, how are you?

ELENA: Bad.

HELENITA: (taking off her coat) Have you told them that they’re going to kick us out for not

paying the rent?

ELENA: Yes, those bastards. Didn’t you sort out something with the ambassador?

HELENITA: (Lighting a cigarette). No, a memorandum arrived stating that there was no timely

notice of my absence. So, the trip to Mexico was not considered an advance vacation but rather

abandonment of employment.

ELENA: (Smoking). Son of a bitch.

HELENITA: (Sitting on a chair that she just put beside Husband). Don’t you agree that it isn’t

fair how the daughter of the best Mexican writer is being treated?

GLORIA: No, they should really give them more help.

HELENITA: I told them: “My mother is an old woman and she’s going to be evicted, and it’s

your fault.” Look, here’s the memo. Also they say there’s no money. Rascals, thieves, they steal

whatever they want. I’m going to talk to my father, in Mexico, to let him know what’s going on.

HUSBAND: Well, we’re leaving. We just wanted to say hi.

8
ELENA: Are you not staying for dinner?

HELENITA: Yes, don’t go. Did you see the cats? (Addressing Gloria).

GLORIA: No, where are they?

HELENITA: In the closet, come see them. (They head toward the closet. Helenita opens the

doors. From among lace skirts of all colors two men, dressed as cats, jump out).

GLORIA: Oh, how pretty! (The cats find comfortable spots and purr).

ELENA: (Distraught). Helenita, we forgot that the cats don’t have food, go buy it.

HELENITA: We don’t either, I’ll go later as soon as I’ve finished my cigarette.

ELENA: No, Helenita, the store is closing. Go right now.

HELENITA: Mom, the Arab store is open until really late.

ELENA: Helenita…

HELENITA: That’s fine. Will you go with me, Gloria?

GLORIA: Ok. (Looking at her husband and shrugging her shoulders as if to say, “well, if I have

to…”)

(They put on their coats and leave. Husband, Elena, and Girl stay and talk).

SCENE THREE

ELENA: Without the cats, I don’t know what I’d do. Helenita is gone and I’m staying alone.

They are very affectionate. Do you want to touch them?

(Addressing Girl).

GIRL: (Going to pet the cats) What are their names?

ELENA: Mameluco, Lola, and Negro…when we returned from Mexico I found them very

skinny. I don’t know why we went. Listen, what were they doing with that city? I was dying

9
from the smog. I didn’t recognize it at the time, I swear. I thought they had taken me to the

wrong place. The houses weren’t the same, nor was life…It was hard to take, it was so pretty.

HUSBAND: Has it changed much since you lived there?

ELENA: Sure. The trees are gone, the sidewalks. You can’t walk there. I’d rather stay here

enclosed, daydreaming. The memory is the only thing left for me, and during this trip it was

almost taken, with all of its newness. In exchange for what?

HUSBAND: Reality, Elena. Time has passed.

ELENA: Which reality? I’m going to demonstrate to you that there are many. Here, time cannot

come in. Six in the morning is the same as six in the evening.

HUSBAND: I realize that. And 1968 is the same as 1992, and Paris is Mexico, right?

ELENA: Is it different for you? Outside people live only in the present. They don’t understand

that they will always have one second of life and no more, the one that they are living in. That’s

why they don’t have a hard time dying. I mean, my memories have lasted me a long time. If they

think that they can invite me to Mexico because they believe that I’m going to die, they’re

wrong, as long as I keep recalling everything like it was before…

GIRL: What is that noise?

ELENA: It’s the cats, they’re probably in the kitchen eating the beans. They’re hungry.

GIRL: Should I go and see?

ELENA: If you want, go and play with them. Poor things, they’re indoors all day. The landlady

will kill them if she sees them.

(Girl leaves).

10
 SCENE FOUR

HUSBAND: And how was your family doing there in Mexico?

ELENA: There’s no one left. I went to Cuernavaca, because my sister Beba lived there. Beba,

Beba, where are you? A little old lady told me that it was her. What do you think? Beba is blond

and beautiful, looks like Greta Garbo. The old lady started to scream and I told her: if you are

Beba, dance with your chiffon dress, twirl, fly…The old lady started to cry. I didn’t find Beba.

HUSBAND: Vilma Fuentes says that you can never go back to the place you went to, because

when you go back, it’s already distant, other.

ELENA: Vilma doesn’t know that in ’68 I brought with me my city, my trees, my rivers, and in

that way, that did not happen. The ones that are there are fake. It’s a shame that I didn’t bring my

sister Beba. Okay, now tell me about yourself. What do you do?

HUSBAND: I’m a doctor.

ELENA: Oh, good. I’m going to show you the medicines I take, I’m very tense. But I’m

referring to whether you are Catholic, Communist, atheist…

HUSBAND: I’m Catholic.

ELENA: Me too, and see, they accused me of being Communist, a spy for Castro, and I don’t

know how many more things, because I wrote in a newspaper what many people were thinking,

but they didn’t dare to say it. They threatened to kill me. We ran away during the night to flee to

the United States. They also ran off the gringos. We have been in exile for more than twenty

years. You were very young. Were you around in ’68?

HUSBAND: No. On the outskirts of town we didn’t realize what was happening in the city until

after the worst had happened.

11
ELENA: Well you missed it. It was the time when Kennedy was just assassinated. When Castro

Ruz was Castro Ruz. Now he is an old man who lives from his memories. Here in France, De

Gaulle, in his final stages of postwar history, could not continue feeding on his unearned wins

and losses. In Mexico we were drunk on modernity and wealth. We hosted the Olympic Games

that year. Seems like it was today. Yes, today, just a couple of hours ago, like this morning.

There I see them, yes, here they are. Don’t you see them?

(Looking at the emptiness).

HUSBAND: Who? (Looking where Elena is pointing).

ELENA: Everybody. Look, we are you and me, the playwright, the poet, the critic. The only

thing that I don’t remember is the names. Do you recognize them?

HUSBAND: Well, maybe they resemble some writers, but they are younger.

ELENA: Some of them are dead, look at them, the ones that are laughing. And look at me, I’m

attractive, right? Although I was already fifty years old, I was full of life.

HUSBAND: Are you the one who has smoked more than twenty cigarettes?

ELENA: Who else? Do you think we’re doing something wrong?

HUSBAND: No, it seems like we’re talking.

ELENA: Exactly, we’re exercising our freedom of expression and right to assemble according to

our Constitution. In other words, we’re fixing the world with a cup of coffee, like good

Mexicans.

HUSBAND: Can they punish us for that?

ELENA: Shut up. Do you hear something?

HUSBAND: Sounds like gunshots. Where are they coming from?

ELENA: Some from here, others from Prague, and others from beyond, from Tlaltelolco.

12
HUSBAND: It seems like they were shooting all at once.

ELENA: That’s right, in ’68.

HUSBAND: You can hear just as close, or…far.

ELENA: Here they come together because they come from the same year. Have you seen a dead

body kill a thousand times?

HUSBAND: No.

ELENA: I have. At the same time every day. The bullets are already moving away, right? Yes,

we have fifteen years of distance, do you hear? And look, they’re gone too, it’s just you and me.

HUSBAND: But I don’t remember how I got there, or here.

ELENA: None of us remember because nobody asked us if we wanted to come or not. For many,

life is made of oblivion.

HUSBAND: I completely agree with you. In Mexico we no longer remember the killings of ’68.

On the other hand, your work is recognized. Your return was an event.

ELENA: Yes, tributes here, tributes there. Ones organized by various adversarial groups, as

usual. I didn’t know how hard the situation was, and I accepted to go to all of them anyway. In

the end I looked really bad. They called me traitor, Traitor…the same as them.

HUSBAND: At that time nobody defended you?

ELENA: Nobody. When I left Mexico I couldn’t withdraw money because they froze my

accounts. Fortunately I had a little place here in Paris. I sold it, but I wasted money on Helenita’s

surgery. Get away, Lola. This is Lola the Second. Lola the First died in Spain. We had dark

times. We didn’t have one cent, and we ended up in a shelter with our cats.

HUSBAND: And did they let the cats in?

13
ELENA: We hid them from the vigilantes. But as I was telling you, I was accused of being

Castro’s spy and also They were the Communists because they didn’t have even enough money

to pay for their own funeral. But look at them now, with their luxurious houses and their new

cars. Let’s see if they’re Communists now. The only ones who had the shit kicked out of them

was us. Speaking of corruption, has it diminished in Mexico?

(Lights fade. The actors remain still.)

SCENE FIVE

(Lights up on another part of the scenario, where the cats appear with a box made of a wooden

grid that has a sign that reads: "Embassy." Behind the box the Ambassador will be placed. The

cats will stand in front and take positions according the dialogue.)

CAT II: Can we get a birth certificate here?

AMBASSADOR: It depends. If you were born here, then yes.

CAT I: And what is your country? Let's see if we like it.

CAT II: Don’t be stupid, you’re just saying stupid things.

CAT I: Well, just a little bit, right? Since no one asked us if we wanted to come, just to see if it

would be convenient for us to even be here.

CAT II: Better let me talk, you shut up.

CAT I: Whoa, how sensitive!

CAT II: Forgive my partner, sir. We want to know how much a birth certificate costs.

AMBASSADOR: One hundred thousand pesos.

CAT II: Can I have ten, please? No, make it a dozen.

14
AMBASSADOR: A dozen? Don’t you think that’s too much?

CAT II: Let me see, six for my partner and six for me...approximately four hundred and twenty

years for each of us.

AMBASSADOR: I don’t understand. Explain it to me.

CAT II: Yes, look. The birth certificate is a proof of life, right?

AMBASSADOR: Yes, indeed.

CAT II: The average life is sixty years.

AMBASSADOR: Right.

CAT II: So if the math doesn’t fail ... look, better give me fourteen.

AMBASSADOR: What do you want that many years for?

CAT I: Don’t you see that cats have nine lives? We don’t know which life we’re living now

because when we came, we left our papers there, and they took away our passports ... Better start

counting again.

CAT II: Shut up, It’s your fault if they catch us. Ignore him.

AMBASSADOR: Okay. What name?

CAT II: To the bearer.

AMBASSADOR: To the bearer?

CAT II: Yeah, What don’t you understand? (Fanning with some Mexican bills).

AMBASSADOR: Sorry, sir. Are you going to pay by cash or check?

CAT II: With a credit card. And gift wrap them.

AMBASSADOR: With pleasure.

CAT II: Hey, do you have a wholesale discount? I would like to give my buddies a few

certificates. Also, I have a business proposal for you.

15
AMBASSADOR: Well, it depends.

CAT II: Look, we have contacts in supermarkets. How about if we distribute the documents in

packs of five, for example?

AMBASSADOR: That’s not bad.

CAT II: No, it’s not. Also we could make them like an instant lottery: Scratch your certificate

and you can earn from one to a hundred years. What do you think?

AMBASSADOR: And what do I have to do?

GATO II: Nothing more than to sign the documents and split the earnings.

AMBASSADOR: Hey, why haven’t we met before? Let me invite you for a drink and introduce

you to my lady.

(Cats leave).

SCENE 6

HUSBAND: Elena, why did you and Helenita come to live here?

ELENA: By decree. That is to say that Helena was given a job at the embassy. Her father got it

for her. That is how we have made a living. But look what is happening. She feels guilty because

she insisted that we go to Mexico. Right, Negro? (Negro nods.)

(A bell is heard. Girl comes out from where she was playing with the cats).

GIRL: The bell’s ringing. I will open the door.

HELENITA: (entering) We brought some crepes for dinner and twenty cans of cat food. Gloria

paid because they didn’t trust me anymore. But right now I’m going to talk to my dad to send us

money from Mexico.

ELENA: Dinner first, right?

16
GLORIA: If you want, I can help you serve the crepes.

HELENITA: Well, in the meantime I’m going to feed the cats. (They take off their coats and

Helenita opens some cans).

GIRL: Do I set the table?

ELENA: Helenita, do we have a tablecloth?

HELENITA: No, but let me see what I can find. (she says pulling crumpled rags of different

colors out of the closet. Girl puts them on the table).

ELENA: In the morning at dawn, the heater was broken. I had to lie in bed with the cats to warm

up. And the owner of the house wants to get rid of them, apparently because it smells like

cat. Does it smell to you?

HUSBAND: No, not really ...

ELENA: The rent is outrageous and the heater doesn’t work, but on Monday we will be thrown

into the streets for not paying on time. We look like wandering Jews. Have you heard of them? I

brought a book back from Mexico on that subject. And now that I’m going to be thrown into the

street, what will I do with my books?

GLORIA: (interrupts). The crepes are ready. Let’s eat dinner.

(Everyone sits at the table and Husband and Girl take off their coats).

GIRL: There’s no water?

HELENITA Water yes, but there are no glasses.

ELENA: Before we had them, but eventually they all got broken.

GLORIA: Never mind, we’re not really thirsty.

HELENITA: We get two crepes each.

ELENA: I don’t want any.

17
HELENITA: See? She doesn’t want to eat anything. The only thing she eats is one boiled potato

a day.

ELENA: I'm going to kill myself to stop those bastards from messing with me.

HELENITA: No, Mommy, don’t say that. I don’t have anybody in the world. If you die, what am

I going to do? No house, no home, no land... I'm going to talk to my dad.

HUSBAND: Don’t worry so much. Things need to be sorted out.

ELENA: Yes, like throwing us out on the street.

(Lights fade.)

SCENE 7

(Lights up on another area of the stage and the cats enter with the wooden box. Behind it sits the

Ambassador, and he begins to ask the cats, who will answer in unison).

AMBASSADOR: Where do you come from?

CAT I and II: We don’t know.

AMBASSADOR: Don’t you know where you were born?

CAT I and II: Yes. What we don’t know is where we are from, or rather, what is ours.

AMBASSADOR: Why?

CAT I and II: Because when we go to where we were born, we feel that we return, but when we

come to where we live, we also feel that we return.

AMBASSADOR: And would you like to adopt the nationality of the country where you live?

CAT I and II: No, because we would still be foreign there.

AMBASSADOR: You’re right. What can we do about it?

CAT I and II: Make a world just for foreigners. That would end the exile,

18
governments, and therefore, corruption, the local restaurants, the ballets folklóricos, civil wars,

McDonalds chains, and even world wars.

AMBASSADOR: Listen, that would be a success.

CAT I and II: We knew that you’d like it, so we brought the birth certificates you gave us, to

see if we change can change them them for a foreign certificate before we get deported for

not paying rent.

CAT I: Or for thinking that all places are the same place.

CAT II: Or for writing.

CAT I: Or for being children of our daddies.

CAT II: Or for being born.

CAT I: Or for not dying.

CAT II: Or for dreaming....

(The lights fade. The Ambassador leaves.)

SCENE 8

(Lights up. Elena and Gloria are seated on the couch, The Husband and The Girl are in front of

them and Helenita is in the middle of the living room, talking on the phone. In the background,

there is a messy dinner table. One of the cats climbs up to it and licks the dishes. The other goes

to sleep.)

HELENITA: (Smoking) Is it my daddy? No? When will he return? Tell him that his daughter

called because we’re going to be evicted because we owe two months' rent. But tell him

19
please. (Hanging up the phone and addressing the others) He refused. I’m sure he refused. I

could hear him tell the maid what to say.

ELENA: Call Rodolfo. Remember that he was the one who looked for us when we got to

Mexico, without us having to call him?

HELENITA: (Dialing) Is Rodolfo there? Where did he go? To Durango…? Please tell him that

Elena called because we’re going to be evicted on Monday. Be sure to tell him. (Turning to her

mother). He also refused, I'm sure of it…

ELENA: Yes.

HELENITA: (Lighting another cigarette) I'm going to call my cousin.

ELENA: What for? What good will that do? He’s good for nothing.

HELENITA: Oh, Mommy. Poor guy.

ELENA: He is.

HELENITA: (Dialing) Then I'll call Enrique. He sent us in 1500 dollars the last time. When my

dad found out, he was furious, so now he is refusing. I wish we could reach him to make him feel

important, like divine Providence. Hello? Is the man of the house there? Tell him…no, don’t say

anything.

ELENA: Stop calling all the time. Who’s going to pay the phone bill?

HELENITA: I have to try, don’t you think?

GLORIA: Helenita, why don’t keep living in Mexico, now that you’re welcome?

HELENITA: Because we can’t make a living. There’s nobody here who will employ the

daughter of one of the country's leading writers. Here at least I have the sad job of being a typist,

which is driving me crazy. Me, I speak four languages and studied at top schools, licking stamps.

20
That’s why I’m depressed. Haven’t I told you about when I was in the asylum?

HUSBAND: No.

HELENITA: It's a very expensive hospital, but very nice. Yes, my dad dropped a lot of money

there, because if you don’t pay up front, they don’t accept you. You have your own private room

with a TV and excellent service. In one section there are dangerous lunatics and in another

section there are others, like me. I'm still in treatment, so that’s why I drink so much

water.(Drinking from the bottle).

HUSBAND: That’s because antidepressants make you thirsty.

ELENA: Don’t drink from the bottle.

HELENITA: Mom, remember that there are no glasses. There I met a very nice guy, who was

with the lunatics. He wanted to commit suicide. At night their section was locked up, but one day

he came to knock on my door at midnight. I didn’t want to open it, no matter how much he

persisted.

ELENA: I told her to be careful because he could strangle her.

HELENITA: Oh, Mommy, why are like that?

ELENA: It's true, I was stark raving mad.

HELENITA: It turns out that the lunatic section was in flames, and because they were locked up,

they began to tug on the gate until it collapsed.

GIRL: And what happened?

HELENITA: The next day everything was destroyed. I never saw him again.

GLORIA: How long were you there?

ELENA: Three months. When we went to Mexico he had just been released. The doctor said he

wouldn’t return to normal life overnight. That's also why we left.

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HELENITA: I’m almost well. I didn’t dare to be alone for a minute. My mom had to be with me

all the time.

HUSBAND: And your dad?

HELENITA: My dad promised me that I was going to be appointed to a consul position in one or

two years, and they wouldn’t even pay me. Nine years doing something that you don’t like, it

takes you to the madhouse.

ELENA: You went to the asylum because you've always been crazy. Doesn’t she seem

crazy? And we didn’t stay in Mexico because your father doesn’t want us there.

HELENITA: No, Mommy. He’s not the only one to blame. Us, too, and history, and ... (Some

ights fade and others get brighter.)

SCENE 9

(Cats enter and the Ambassador, as always. He asks them…)

AMBASSADOR: Who are you?

CAT I: It depends.

AMBASSADOR: It depends on what?

CAT II: The time. After seven o'clock at night we are brown. Before that, cats.

CAT I: I object.

AMBASSADOR: On what grounds?

CAT II: On the grounds that my partner says that at night all cats are brown, but I

contend that not all cats are brown. Are they?

AMBASSADOR: Well ...

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CAT II: For example, what do you do?

AMBASSADOR: Me? I’m an ambassador.

CAT I: What do you ambass?

AMBASSADOR: What?

CAT I: Yes, the writer writes, the painter paints, the sculptor sculpts, the actor acts ...

AMBASSADOR: Um, I ambass... Hey, I’m the one interrogating you.

CAT II: Exactly, you were the one who started, now take us out of this, aren’t you the authority?

AMBASSADOR: That’s right.

CAT II: Then issue a decree saying that we are cats.

CAT I: Prove it.

CAT II: Yes, if I said that all writers are crazy, is it the same as saying that all

lunatics are writers?

CAT I: For me, yes.

CAT II: What if I say that all ambassadors are men? Is it the same as saying that

all men are ambassadors?

CAT I: No, in that case no, because not all men are ambassadors. There are

also women and ... Hey, better that the ambassador explain it to us.

CAT II: As you wish. I bet he’ll give me the reason.

CAT I: Let's see. Mr. Ambassador, Mr. Ambassador, where are you going…

(Ambassador grabs the box and runs away, followed by the cats).

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 SCENE 10

(A new change of lights is made).

HUSBAND: Well, I think we should go now.

HELENITA: (Dialing) No, wait for me to make another call and later I will show you pictures of

my parents. This is the last call, I promise. Hello? Is Mr. Hernández there? No? Really

no? Thanks. (Hangs up.)

ELENA: Don’t be stupid, Helenita. They’ve left us.

HELENITA: No, Mommy, you're the best writer in Mexico. I am the daughter of two national

glories. They cannot abandon us. Tomorrow I’ll call…

GLORIA: Elena, you’re exhausted. You better go to sleep, and so do we. It’s been an amazing

night. What we've experienced is worthy of a play.

HELENITA: You write it, Gloria. You can do it, because we're going to be dead.

HUSBAND: No, Helenita. You'll see that everything will be fine. Anyway, I'll see what I can do.

On Monday we’ll return to Mexico.

ELENA: The same day that we’re going to be evicted.

GLORIA: I'm sure nothing will happen, it can’t happen.

HUSBAND: (Taking a few pill boxes from his coat pocket.) I’ll leave these medicines. They’re

for the nerves.

HELENITA: Gloria, promise me one thing before you go. If I call you sometime, pick up.

GLORIA: I promise, Helenita. But we will not leave without seeing the photos.

HELENITA: And later I’ll accompany you to the metro. (She takes some photos from the

cabinet).

ELENA: Helenita, a car could run you over.

24
HELENITA: Mom, what you want is to have me locked up.

ELENA: No, I'm afraid that something could happen to you.

HELENITA: Ok fine, I’m not going with you.

GLORIA: Helenita, Can I have a photo of you?

HELENITA: I’m gonna give you a few. Keep them safe. In one of those, I’m with my mom. In

the other with my dad when I went with him to Stockholm to receive the Nobel Prize.

GLORIA: Thank you. Hey, but here is a little girl. Is that you?

HELENITA: No, it's my mom.

GLORIA: You said you were going to give me one with the two of you.

HELENITA: Well, here I am, inside her tummy, don’t you see me? When she was born I was

already there.

GIRL: Let me see.

HUSBAND: Pass them around.

HELENITA: Let’s look at them all so we can spend more time together.

(Helenita distributes photographs. Elena falls asleep on the couch. Cats rise and situate

themselves. On a screen there are projected images of Elena’s life, her books, etc., including her

return to Mexico, with comments made in the newspapers and background music from different

eras. The stage light will fade to reveal the projections. This may take five to ten minutes

depending on the material available. At the end, the three guests leave in silence. Helenita gets

up and sits on the floor, resting her head on her mother's legs. Cats and Ambassador appear. A

circle of light illuminates them.)

25
 SCENE 11

AMBASSADOR: What do you want?

CAT I: We want to be counted among the dead.

AMBASSADOR: What dead?

CAT II: The ones from ’68. Do you know how many there were?

AMBASSADOR: Some say a hundred, others a thousand, others ten thousand.

CAT I: Well, there were not even a hundred, or thousand, or ten thousand. There were a hundred

and two, a thousand and two, or ten thousand and two, including us.

AMBASSADOR: But you are alive.

CAT II: No, we are dead, and on top of that, hopeless. Next Monday we will be evicted from the

house where we live because they know that we’re already dead.

AMBASSADOR: Do you have your death certificate?

CAT I: That’s why we came, so you can give it to us. You are the authority here and abroad.

AMBASSADOR: That’s true. How did you die?

CAT II: Of uncertainty.

AMBASSADOR: Of uncertainty?

CAT I: Yes, we didn’t know if we were good or bad, or whether we were alive or dead. That’s

why we asked for the birth certificate, to prove it. But it didn’t work out, so we have to be dead.

Though the truth, it doesn’t matter. Have you ever been infected with uncertainty?

AMBASSADOR: No, I think not.

CAT II: We must be vaccinated. We were very wrong. Because of the epidemic, nobody paid

attention to us. Everybody had the same thing. We were sent from office to office, from city

to city, from country to country, to arrange our certificate for whatever. Nobody wanted

26
to testify. Will you testify for us? We have been waiting for twenty-five years.

AMBASSADOR: Okay. On whose behalf?

CAT I: Of the victims, the victims.

CAT II: Or if you prefer, of the victims, of the victims, of the victims.

CAT I: Or if you prefer, of the victims, of the victims, of the victims, of the victims.

CAT II: Or if you prefer ...

(Cats vanish).

FINAL SCENE

(The light illuminates Elena and Helenita asleep in the living room. The Husband, Gloria,

and The Girl are on the other side of the door, as before, with their coats on).

GIRL: Dad, what happened in ’68? What was Elena accused of?

HUSBAND: I don’t know exactly what happened. Young people turned the world upside

down, shook it. Some fell into the abyss. Some occupied the place of others. A new order was

created.

GIRL: And did Elena do something wrong?

HUSBAND: Maybe she wasn’t aware of the change.

GIRL: But is she good?

HUSBAND: Like you and me, we can all make mistakes.

GIRL: And why does the father not live with them?

27
GLORIA: It was too much for one house.

GIRL: What?

GLORIA: Nothing. Hopefully you won’t forget this night. You may never see them again. Don’t

forget them. Elena is a great writer who was exiled in her prime. Helenita is ... her daughter. She

couldn’t help but be.

GIRL: What is self-imposed exile?

GLORIA: It's like playing hide and seek, but alone. No one looks for you, and you get

lost counting to infinity.

HUSBAND: Do you think they’ll ever return to Mexico?

GLORIA: From where they are, there’s no return.

GIRL: And the paper on Elena’s forehead, what does it mean?

GLORIA: She’s probably hiding the third eye.

(The three stop talking as the curtain closes.)

28