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Dan Kennedy'S Chinese Menu: Copywriting Acceleration Tool
Dan Kennedy'S Chinese Menu: Copywriting Acceleration Tool
ON THE MENU
WWW.MAGNETICMARKETING.COM | 800.871.0147
1
2002: THE CHINESE MENU. At the Copywriting Mastery & Sales Thinking Boot
Camp, I gave out a "bonus" compilation of ovei-250 headlines ..... some classics, others
from actual ads and sales letters of mine or clients', a dozen fill in the blank headline
templates and dozens of examples of the templates filled in, groupings of sample
headlines with multiple sub-heads, 50+ opening paragraphs, samples of segues into offers,
answers to objections copy samples, guarantee copy samples, and sample PS's. 88 pages
in all. We called it THE CHINESE MENU, with the idea you could pick one of the
headlines, one of the opens, a few of the subheads, one of the segues, one of the
objection+answers, one of the guarantees and one of the PS's and cobble together a very
good start on an ad or sales letter. In short, a giant shortcut and cheat sheet, made quickly.
Frankly, the finished version of this seems to be lost and its digital file was on a little
floppy disk that can't be opened, so you are getting a scanned copy, with some ofmy
handwritten notes on it. I think you'll find it a valuable resource even if it is messy. Or
you might take the time to scan or re-enter it into your computer and create a more easily
used reference. The best thing would be to devote a couple days to writing your own
Chinese Menu for your business from this one - do it once, use it forever. The best thing
about this one as a source is that everything in it was actually used in real, successful ads
and ad campaigns -there are no "made up" examples.
"CHINESE MENU"
COPYWRITING ACCELERATION TOOL
DAN KENNEDY'S
COPYWRITING MASTERY
& I
NOVEMBER 2002
PHOENIX,AZ
2
HEADLINES
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He BecameTwiceThe
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Phone Wizard
One Place-SettingFree
For Every Three You Buy!
How to Write A
Good Advertisement -
Doctors Prove 2 Out of 3
Women Can Have More
Beautiful Skin In 14 Days
Lire In the
Fast Lane
A BreakthroughIdea For
Those Who Waot To Act
In the Movies
3
Stop DreamingAnd
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Free GiantCookie
ThrowAwayYourOars!
The ChineseSecrets
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ThinkAnd
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ThreePowerfulReasonsYou
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TheyLaughed Wheu I
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The AmazingMoney-Making
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How To Pay
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The $112,000Housewife
ConfessionsOf A
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The Secret of
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How to WriteA
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MobileMoneyMaker
GoldCoastLawyerDiscoversHow
To Make MoneyAt HorneWrthThe
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Do You Sincerely
Want To Be Rich?
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Do You Do AnyOfThese
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To The TravelingSalesman
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12 SpecialTax StrategiesThat
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How To WinFriends
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HusbandsDon't Save
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There'sAnotherWomanWaiting
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TestedAdvertisingMethods
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The SecretOfMaking
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WhenDoctors'"FeelRotten"
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20
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LittleLeaks That
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r
Are You Ever
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Howl Made A
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Here'sHow To Find
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What's WrongWith
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How To Do Wonders
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How To Overcome
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F
What To Be An
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BankingSecrets
i
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How The Way You Undress
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The AmazingSecret Of A
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Who Is AfraidTo Fly
IfYouCanLickA Stamp-
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FormerBarberEarns $8,000
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TheMost Expensive
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MovieActor RevealsAmazing
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27
Want To Lose
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How To Write
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Speak Spanish
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GreatNew DiscoveryKills
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PowerHeadlineWords:
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How Would
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Subhead:
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Headline:
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Subheads:
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55
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Subheads:
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Headline:
Question:What'sThe Key Secret
To Increasing"{ourSales & Profits
ByAsMuchas917%?
Subheads:
If you don't know, read on. You'll find out what
it reallytakes to pull more sales and profits from
everyad or sales letteryou ever use.
Morepowerfulconcepts and copy.
You're cheatingyourselfout of all
theprofitsyou could potentiallybe earning!
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Earning $5,000 a Week is Easy!
The Secret Behindthe Success
A RealLive Success Story
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All The Money-MakingCosmeticCases You Want
Subheads:
There'sOnlyOne WayLeft For You To
EarnTheIncomeYou Deserve...
It's A ShameFor You Not To Make The Big Money.
WbenOther Surgeons (Less Qualifiedand SkilledThan You)
Do It So Easily!
You Are The Skin Expert. Not Them.
So What's The Secret To AttractingAll The
Big-MoneyCosmeticPatientsYou Want?
EvenTheGreatestDoctorIn The World
WillGo Broke Without A Constant Stream Of
ProfitableNew Patients
AhnostEverybodyIs Dead Wrong About The Way
TheyTryTo AttractCosmeticPatients
In Fact,Let Me GiveYou YourFirstLessonRightNow:
Headline:
Let Me Show You How I Made Over..•
$109,305.20in Only Seven Months
UsingMy "Top Secret'' Free
AdvertisingSystem!
Subheads:
I wantto show you how I made $109,305.20 in sales inthe last seven
months withoutspendinga dimeon advertising!
MM~
OPENINGPARAGRAPHS
DearFriend,
---~
WonderingwhetherI'd ever get ahead.Hatingthe ring of the phone.
DearBeleagueredBusinessOwner,
Dear DMAMember:
I'd like to ask you to look throughyour Rolodexor addressbook and comeup with the
nameofat leastone personwho probablyisn't a DMAmember,butwho youbelieve
shouldbe.
Dear Customer,
Dear Husband,
Women are different than we are. (Vive le difference!)YOUR loving wife needs, wants,
and deserves SPECIAL ATTENTION maybe more often than you think to give it to her.
Dear Husband,
As you can see, I've attached 3 shinypennies to this letter. I've done this for two
importantreasons: first, to grab your attention for just a moment or two or three. Second,
to remind you of that wonderful romantic son, "Three Coins in the Fountain ... "
Dear Friends:
The Waterford area has to be the best place on Earth. We have it all here: Skiing, snow,
ice skating, snow, ice fishing, snow, freezing temps, snow
boarding... and... SNOWMOBILING!
Do you ever get the feelingthat there is a hidden value on your practice,just waiting
patientlyto be pumped out? You now it's there, but you're just not sure where to look?
Never in the historyof real estate investing has there been a real estate investment
Program that 100% guarantees your success. Sure, we've all heard the manyempty
promises and high expectations of some courses, seminars, textbooks, etc .... but never
before has there been a Program that delivers all it promises, and must more!
62
Imagine you can foresee the future ofreal estate, you'd know the answer to the most
critical questions like: Is the market going up or is it going down - and for how long will
the trend continue? What types of real estate should I buy? Where should I buy for the
biggest bangfor my buck? In fact, you'd know exactly when to buy, when to sell, when
the interestrates are going to bottom out and best of all...
You're about to be one of the first in Canadato discovera real estate system(with a long
-- and proven track record) that can put an extra $9 750 of cash into your pocket every
month.
Dear Friend,
As you can see, I've attached a milliondollar checkto the top of this letter.Whyhave I
done this?Actually,there are two reasons:
#1, I have something very important to tell you so I wanted to make sure I'd catch you
attention.
and...
-
#2. SinceI'm goingto show you exactlyhot to achievefinancialindependencethrough
A]bertareal estate,I thought somekind of''financial eye-catcher"would be appropriate.
Dear INNERCIRCLECLIENT,
This short letter promisesto be the most profitableand pleasurableletter you've ever
received... You are about to discoverone of the most importantsecretsof your life.
Dear INNCERCIRLCEClient,
Over the last 6 weeks, I've sent three very importantlettersto you and to a numberof
other speciallyselectedaction-orientedpeople.Letters that descn'bed,in detail,
r
EXACTLYhow you can create wealthin real estate.
Dear Homeowner,
Dear HomeOwner:
If you're tired of feeling :frustrated with your feet, and wonder why you don't get any
better, keep reading this report. You're about to discover how to learn the one aspect of
your bass drums that everyone'staughtyou incorrectly... and how to INSTANTLY
correct this mistake.
Dear Drummer,
Go sit down behind your drumset and tell me if you're happy with how your feet are
playing.
Frankly,I'm Puzzled.
You asked for - and we sent - a smalltruck load of informationabout havingthe Best
What's the true secret of getting what you want out of life-when you want it? Why do
some people have the "golden touch?" How is it that many people just grind out their
livesin day-to-daydrudgery, while a few seemto breezethrough,effortlessly,livingthe
"good life?"
If you have an existingbusiness, you're a little ahead of the game. However, being "open
for business' won't do much good unless you have gobs of clients calling you. That takes
i marketing. Good marketing that's effective and doesn't cost much, if anything.to get
started - yes it can be done.
You work hard, Your occupation is time and labor intensive. Your profession requires
skilledhands and excellentrapportwith patients.And yet... some of you mightbe under-
appreciated.
64
A couple of weeks ago, we sent you a letter introducing Marie Reiko RDH,Jnc. In it, we
shareda wonderfulofferwhich includeda 30 day risk-freetrial, 30% off the'list price
and a "free" teddy bear for you to keep (no obligationto buy), similartOthe "cutie"
above.
Hi There!
Thisis us, MarieReiko RDH, Inc., again.Manyof your associateshave taken advantage
of our tremendousoffer and love to "designyour own" instruments.
Fed up with managed care? Getting rich is your best revenge! Let's face it, with managed
care and medicare cuts the only way left for the "little guy" dermatologistto succeed is
by getting lots and lots of cash-paying cosmetic patients.
Dear Friend,
Are you frustrated with the money you've been making in your practice lately?
WARNING:
This may be toe last time you hear from me, Jay Silver. About a month ago, I sent you a
copyof this report showingyou the secretsto gettingmore top-payingcosmeticcases.If
you had already started using my non-threatening, emotional based marketing, last
month, You WouldAlready See A Huge DifferenceIn YourPracticeAnd Your Outlook
For The Future!
Dear (name):
Whenyou go home from work tonight, are you 100% certain that your lab equipment
won't break down due to premature failure or wear? If the answer is no, (Name) Caltech
can help you achievethat peace of mind. We have done it beforefor manyother
laboratorieshere in B.C. And I am sure we can do it for you, too. At the very least, I'm
offeringyou a way to find out without taking a penny of your money and only a few
minutes of your time.
Dear (name):
If you usuallyput things off until the last minute,then now is the time to take action!
65
I know youjust recentlypaid your property taxes and I'm sure you did everythingin your
power to get them down - lawyers, accountants, consultants- I admire you for doing
everythingyou did - but I wonder if you still paid too much. You know.that paying your
taxes based upon an assessed value dictated by a government bureaucrat virtually
guarantees it will cost you more than it should. The question is:
Will You Continue To Give The Government More Money Than You Should? OR,
Will You Do Something Different - Something That Will Guarantee Yon The
Lowest Taxes?
A coupleof weeks ago, I wrote to you offeringa Free AdvisoryReport that would show
you HOW TO SAVE MONEY ON YOUR PROPERTY TAXES ATNO COST TO
YOU.
Dear Friend:
Here it is. It's finally here. You're greatest hopes and wishes are about to be fulfilled.
Dear Colleague:
How will you feel when you hear me tell you that your competition got my new
marketingprogram, and that they have the exclusiveuse of all the powerful ads, sales
letters, scripts, press releases (to get free publicity with) and lead generation devices
that are part of the program? How willit make you feel to have your competition
stealing business away from you over the next few years with the marketing materials
I've created?
Dear Colleagues:
I admit it, I blew it. I really messed up this time! But I'm going to correct my mistake!
Quicklyread this letter to see how you can benefit form my mistake...
Dear Friend,
It's true - I've made over $100,000 in the last 7 months - using nothing but free
advertising.
There's a new trend going on in the direct response industry you may not know about.
And it's being successfully applied in traditional retail markets as well It's called
"upsell" marketing and it's creating a huge source of previously untapped income for
the companieswho are utilizingit.
66
.Dear(Name):
Warning:Your present Computer system could be costing you hundreds of wasted hours,
fand thousandsof dollars) everymonth!
. Our FREE SPECIALREPORTtells you why- and what you can do aboutit!
Dear (Name),
I was going through our store records and discovered that it's been too long since you last
visited Gage Menswear at Valley Center in Owings Mills. Since we already know the
types of clothingyou've purchasedfrom us in the past, I think I shouldtell you that now
is the perfecttime to stop in at our OwingsMills store again.
I've got a problem ... and it occurs to me that you may be one of the very few people on
tbe race oftbe Earth who can help me resolveit. Let me explain:
Hopefully,this little "gimmick"bas gotten your attention- and youtll have some fun
with it, keeping it around your office or house. I'll bet nobodys ever sent you a bag full
of money before!
When I say "there's a lot of"big money" where that came from" - I'm writing to you
about a moneymaking"tool" extraordinaire, that I have invested 19 years in making. It is
called''.POWERPOINTS,"and it is, by fur and away,tbe most valuableand important
'1001''or product of any kind I've ever broughtforward,and I can't wait to describeit to
you in all of its gloriousdetail.
Dear Friend,
Although you have purchased my books or tapes or attended one of my seminars in the
past, and althoughwe have previouslyinvitedyou to subscribeto my NO B.S.
MARKETINGLETTER,it bas been broughtto my attentionthat you are NOT getting
my monthly Letter (full to the brim with advice that directly boosts your income, fast)-
and I cannot allow that situation to continue, so ...
Dear Neighbor:
you too can enjoy a warm,wonderfulheated swimmingpool just like your neighbors.
Dear Friend,
'f
Dear Fellow Investor,
If you can read a road map, you can beat the stock market at its own game.
68
Dear Friend,
As you can see from the envelope that this letter came in, I am almost certain I contacted
you about this once before. I am somewhat at a loss as to why you never got back to me.
Perhapsmy :firstletter neverreachedyou, or perhapsit cameat a bad time - a time when
you were distractedand had more pressingmatters on your mind.
YES! I Accept Your Invitation! Count me in for the March28th Tele-Seminar!I can't
wait to attendthis event and get Mark Nolan's lazy-moneysecrets!Mark has discovered
a proven •'lazy''way to make money. He's used this to make over THREE-MILLION
DOUARS while sitting at home!
Dear Member,
I have some bad news, that may turn out to be good new for you.
Hello,FellowMember,
Thisis your buddy,Joe Polish,wonderingif you are so coveredup with good clients,so
rich and fut andsassythat you just do not need to be at the UpcomingBootcamp.I want
to know that because it's always good to add to my little green book of really, really rich
friends. When I'm in your town the~ I know who to call to take me out to dinner. And,
by the way, I certainly do have Members in this category: doing so damed well the last
thing they need is another good idea! If that's YOU, congratu1ations.(Although
complacencyis the mother of new competition, know-it-all-itis the father of sudden
humblingdisaster,and"schoolis NEVER our for the pro.")
But if you are NOT rolling in more money that you know what to do with ... if you're
NOT yet relaxed and secure with a steady, predictable flow of really good new customers
coming to you everyday... if you are NOT dominatingyour market and ..eating your
competition alive!"... if you are NOT yet thoroughly, totally happy with your business,
incomeand lifestyle... then damnit
R-r-r-r-r-r-r-i-i-i-i-n-n-n-g-g!
Dear PrinterFriend,
F
That's the sound you could be hearing by now, llyou'd responded to my first letter about
6 weeks ago ... you could be hearing the sound of your own phone ringing like crazy, with
lots of good, quality, new clieritsand customers callingyou, eager to bring their printing
to you!
69
Several months ago, I was in the same situation you're in right now ... wondering ifl
should register for Michael's MillionDollar Marketing Boot Camp.
Dear FellowCatholic,
A 368-year old Catholic fraternal society has assembledvecy important, free financial
informationfor you, in a concise, easy-to-read Report, yours for the asking - if you meet
these qualifications:
Dear Speaking-Colleague,
Dear Friend:
A quick, true story that will help you determine whether or not reading my entire, I think
very unusualletter is goingto be usefulto you....
Dear Friend,
How would you like to be able to write an ad or sales letter that could generate a Million
Dollars?
Dear Friend,
Now you can own the rights to reprint, mail, and cash-in on one of the greatest direct
mail sales letters ever written! (Youalso get reprint rights to thefamous product sold in
the letter!)
70
Dear _Fri<lnd,
If you cab use more new customers ... and I mean TONS of new customers, I've got
great news for you. Now there's a powerful, inexpensivenew way to bring in all the
highlyqualified leads you'll ever need. The kind ofleads that will rocket you sales right
off the charts!
Dear Friend,
If you've been looking for a quick and easy way to get into a highly profitable home-
based business that you can run in your spare time this letter will tell you about it - and
you simplywill not believethe possibilities!
Dear Friend,
Dear Friend,
If you want to Createa huge (and immediate) cash-flow for yourself or your business, this
is going to be one of the most excitingmessages you'll ever read!
Dear Friend,
Now you can own... mail to as often as you like..and earn unlimitedamounts of money
(forever!), from...
Dear Friend,
I'd like to make you an extremelybold promise. You can easilytransform your lukewarm
direct marketing campaignsinto powerful cash generators. You can quickly and easily
double the profits of every ad and sales letter you run from now on.
Dear Friend,
You're about to discover a proven, sure~fireway to increasethe sales and profits of every
ad you place, and every letter you mail!
71
Dear Friend,
■ This business has low start-up costs ... anyone can get started in it!
■ Low product reproduction costs. (A 96-page book can be printed for under $3)
■ This business ofrers high profits and low risks-more money in the pocket!
■ No need to maintain .inventory- just print the products as they sell
■ Informationproducts are easy to ship to your customers.
■ You can run the business part-time and still make lots of money!
■ You can work out of your home! (Or from the beach!)
Dear Friend,
Jfyou want to create high-profit, in-demand informationproducts that you can sell by
mail,use as retail business builders, or sell back-of-the-room at seminars and speeches,
then you need to read every word oftbis letter very carefully.
Dear Friend,
If you'd like to put a lot of money in your pocket, I have great news for you. You can
easily transform all your ads and sales letters into cash generators.
Dear Friend,
I'm about to reveal to you an incredibleopportunity to literally, actually tum pennies into
dollars, just about at will.
You know direct mail can make you rich. It's just that it can cost you a fortune trying to
figure out the "combination" that unlocks the vault to direct mail success. Unlocking that
vault is something that few people really understand.
Dear Friend,
There's never been a better time for you to get a Web site on the Internet!
Dear Friend,
Dear Friend,
I'm going to show you how you can quickly and easily get up to $1,000.000.00 in free
advertisingon the Internet! In know that sounds hard to believe- But it's 100% true.
--------
Dear Friend,
The Internet is explodingwith growth! Withinthe next 3 years, experts predict Internet
sales will reach an amazing $103 TRILLION DOLLARS! A huge chunk of this money
will come from the exciting new world oflntemet Auctions!
Dear Friend,
I'm writing to you today about a special offer that can substantiallyincrease your sales
and profits.
-------Dear Friend,
Does every ad, sales letter, and web marketing piece you create product the results you're
really after? Are they as profitable as you'd like them to be?
~
Dear Friend,
It's a fuct.
You can have a killer sales letter ... that sells an appealing product. .. at a bargain
price ... but, if you've got the wrong mailing list, your direct mailcampaign willbe a
failure.
SEGWAYS
Which brings us to THE NO B.S. MARKETING LETTER itself I've told you about the
trnckload of"brib6s" I'm giving you to try the Letter, but now let me tell about the Letter
itself.
So what's the good news? If you would sincerelylike to make a lot more money from
your business -with a whole lot less stress and strain- then read the rest of this letter as
if it were the most important piece of paper you will handle aJIyear long.
Oh, and bytbe way, it'd cost you and your staff a day of production and at least $675per
officeto attend this as a "live" seminar.
Here's a quick explanationof how you can immediatelyget control of your life, time and
wealth:
You may feel this all sounds to good to be true. That any system this effective MUST
require great athleticism and years of training. But this system is different from anything
Youmaybe in the same "boat" now. Scaredto take the plunge... not knowingwhether
you will be successfulor not... faced with everyonetellingyou, "you can '1 do that" Gust
remember, misery loves company - subconsciously they want you to work like a dog at
somethingyou less than love doing just like they are!).
~
Okay, so you say, "You are going to provide me with the best lawn service in the world.
Just how am I going to save all of that money?" I'm glad.youasked.
-----... You may be saying "So what? What's it got to do with me?!" Bear with me, I may
First though, let me make this point: if! did take all the trouble andexpense and legal
hassleto turn my businessinto a "franchise,"it would sell for at least $50,0000.00to
$100,000.00,just like that fast food restaurant"nightmare"the guy next to me on the
airplanewas stuck with. But unlike his business,mine IS a "dream" business.
Now, about me, and why I'm willingto set people up in my unusualbusiness.
But before we go into that, let me share with you what I think are the key characteristics
of the ''right" direct mail project. See how many on this list you agree with.
Well,if your answer is ''Yes," then you're going to love the rest of this letter!
---------=-----
OK. So you know about the product. You've seen one of the ads, and you've seen how
you can run this project on full auto-pilot.But what about the profit potential?How much
money can you make?
74
Now, let me shift gears here and tell you about everythingyou get in the Mail Order
BusinessIn-A-Boxpackage...
Now I realize I'm makingsome awfully big promises here. And I certainlydon't expect
you to just blindlytake my word for it. So, listento how wellthese strategieshave
workedfor the individualsandbusinesseswho've Usedthem.
OBJECTION ANSWERS
As attractive as this product/service/offer is, our marketing experts tell us that only about
x% of the people receiving it will respond. Although that's okay with us from a business
standpoint,it stillbothersme personally.You see, I know how muchthe owners/usersof
our product/service/offer benefitfrom it. I read their letters;I talk to themon the phone;I
see them personally when they visit us; and hundreds/thousands/millionseach year tell
me that ("strong, brief customer quote"). Because of this, I just hate the thought of
someone not getting our product/service/offer because of some error or omission in our
explanation.That's why I held a special brainstormingsession with a group of our people
just to try and figure out whyyou might say "no" to our free trial offer. After several
hours, our group could only think of three possible reasons. Here they are:
Sure, I know that most offers like this are usually attached to a purchase. You
know... "you can apply this $50 gift certificate against the purchase of any $350 vacuum
cleaner in the store ... "
That's NOT what we're taking about. This gift certificate is really a gift. Spend it just like
cash... with no further obligation or pressure to purchase anything else.
I agree that there aren't manythings in a fine art gallerylike ours that sell for $50 or Jess.
A few, but not many. But ... think of all the framing opportunities you have around your
house.....
OK. I know that not manypeople will be inclinedto buy anythingin additionto the $50
gift. But~some will After all, Christmas is only a matter of a few weeks away and what
better time and what better place to take care of the ever-present Christmas gift list.
I suspect the only reason you have NOT responded to me before now has to do with the
outlay of money required for the System - a bargain when it works for you- but you are
not convinced it will.
75
You can pay a deposit of just one half the price of the System. Then you can pay the
other half whenever you choose, only after you have proven the value of the system in
your own businessand put plenty of cash profits into you bank accountthanks to using it.
And the deposit you do pay now is still I 00% refundable ~ for any reason, you choose
not to keep aod use the System, return it within 90 days and get the deposit immediately
refunded.
--- Here are a few of the key aspects of this businessthat I can provide guaranteed,
breakthroughbusinessstrategiesfor: (lists 10 benefitSin a row)
---- Now, you may have heard similarpromises in the past, but...
Most courses give you the same old rehash of twenty year old marketing techniques. Or
they're written by professors based on classroom theories that have never been proven to
work.
If,,however, you have a growing :fascinationwith the psychology, art, science and craft of
persuading, selling and motivating via the printed word, as well as with direct-response
media like ads, sales letters, postcards, web sites, etc. and you can see opportunity in
elevatingyour skills, then is the place for you.
Unless you're in the ten cent shoelace business. increasingresults from your ads and
sales letters even a little'll recoup this. It's only the postage for 10 000 sales letters. For a
lot of you, just ONE customer. client, or patient you wouldn't get otherwise is enough.
But, again don't think about just recouping the fee. Think multiplyingit. Think getting it
back 100 times over. Plan to go home with a real breakthrough in hand that will make
you gobs and gobs and gobs of money.
GUARANTEES
Basic, Money-Back Guarantee:
If, fur any reason, you are not fully satisfied with your purchase, return it fur a full
refund.
If you're not thrilled with our subscription,you may cancel, receive a full refund, and still
keep the leather-bound appointment diary free, with our compliments! 1bat's how
absolutely certain we are that you will find tremendous value in every issue of ...
Redundancy:
You take no risk with our Free Trial Ofter! If you're not happy with the Rocket Z-Weed
Whacker, just return it anytime within 90 days for a full refund.
Income tax savingsguaranteed- or your money back! ICin the first three issues of my
newsletter, you haven't found ways to decrease your taxes ...
How Can somethingsent to you free by guaranteed?Here's my promise:if you read the
attached, admittedlylengthyletter about your speakingbusinessand listento the
enclosed audio cassettes and watch the enclosed video, and you honestly feel I've wasted
your time,justjotme a note to that effect on the back of this certificate and I'll either pay
you $25 or donate $50 to Habitat For Humanity, your choice.
Since I'm sendingout about 2,000 of these packages,that puts me on the hook for
$100,000.That's okay, I can afford it. But I'm betting on your integrityas a professional
colleague,and I'm betting on the fact that, even if you decide to say "no" to the offer
extendedto you in this information,at the very least you'll have to admit to picking up a
valuablemarketingidea or two you can use .inyour business,so this can't be a waste of
time. Anyway,it's up to you. With my Guarantee, you can't lose by paying attention to
this.
Sincerely,
Dan Kennedy
Note: Please(1) Listen to the "Spillthe Beans" audio tape first then (2) watch the video,
then (3) read the letter, then (4) listen to the $25,000 a day tape last. It is very important
to (at least) hear the "Spill the Beans" tape before readingthe letter.
"The BionicBody Relief ProgramTM" is probably the finestprogram I've ever designed
to treat your injuries.I want you to instantly realize how much your lifecan be improved
with treatment at my office ... therefore ... your first office visit is GUARANTEED.
At the conclusionof your first visit, if you honestlythink I've wasted your time, or you
sincerelybelievethat you will not benefit from my care in any way ... all you have to do
is say so ... and you will NOT have to make a $15 donation. In fact, I will make a
donation to the Waterford Fire and Rescue in your name... if this happens!
I'm so convincedthat you will create the success you want, I'm willing to put that
guarantee in writing!
"We Guarantee That You Will Have All the Practical Hands-on Knowledge, ·
Plus Be 100¾ Financially Qualified, To Purchase At Least 1 Positive Cash
Flow InvestmentProperty,Or You Will ReceiveAn Immediate100%Refund...
No Questions Asked!"
Nothing like this BallisticBass Drum System has ever been offered before except to
Joe's students. And since he believes strongly that this Systemis so far beyondanything
else available,Joe offershis amazingBallistic Guarantee.
60 DAY BALLISTICUNCONDITIONALSATISFACTIONGUARANTEE.Here is the
only condition: it within 60 days from your purchase,,you want s refund, just show me
proof that you did something, anything, used one of Joe's strategies, and look in the
eye (on paper) aodtell me that you didn't put Ballisticrhythmsinto your hands aodfeet
that you wouldn't have otherwise, aud I'll refund every pennyyou paid (less S&H).
You take absolutelyno risk. We want only happy and successfulstudents. Of course,if
you ask/or a refund,you still must AGREE to never reveal or use any of the Unfair
Advantageskills thatyou were taught by Joe.
GUARANTEEDRESULTS!
Wrth our program, your lawn care concerns are over! We guarantee our results. It there
are ever any problems (and there sometimes can be), we are just a phone call away and I
guaranteethat we will be on your lawn within 36 hours.
79
■ If you change your mind,for any reason, within the first 3 months, we'll give you
a full refund promptly, without any hassle!
■ Afterthe first 3 months, if you changeyour mindat any time, we only deductthe
moneyfor the issuesyou have alreadyreceivedand promptlyrefundthe rest of
your money, with no hassle!
■ In either case, you can keep the great bonuses you will receive.
As you can see, this is an offer you should not refuse. It has great upside potential for you
to win and you havenothingto lose.
--------------·
Plus, a Full 1-Year Better-Than-Risk-Free Guarantee!
I'm so confidentthat my free advertisingcourse will help you advertise any product or
service without cost - that I'm making you this strong 1 Year "Better-Than-Risk-Free"
Guarantee!
If you're ever unsatisfied with this course for any reason at all (even if you just change
your mind), send the package back and I'll refund every cent you paid - no questions
asked!
DOUBLEYOURMONEYBACK.
Yep, I'll teach you how to make more money than you've ever dreamt possible or I'll
give you your fee back PLUS A TEN DOLLAR "PENATLY'' RIGHT OUT OF MY
POCKET.
Guarantee#1: Take 3 months, get 3 Issues of the Letter, plus this mountain of
additionalinfonnation, tools and gifts, receive it all, try it, prove its value - and you
decide. After receiving 3 Issues, if you like, you can cancel your subscription, return
everything, and receive a full refund PLUS AN EXTRA $10- no questions, no hassle.
Guarantee #2: Stay with me for an entire year ... get 12 Issues of the Letter, use all the
benefits -if. 12 months from today, you can honestly say you have not put at least
$10,000 in your bank account you will know you have not put there put there without me,
I will still refund every penuyyou paid-again, no bassle. (I won't pay you the extra $10,
so the entire year's "experiment" will have cost you ten bucks, but not even one dollar
out of your pocket.)
Sincethis letter will probably add at least 1,000 new subscribers,this means I'm putting
$10,000 of MY money at risk. Why would I do such a crazy thing? Because all my years'
of experience and that of those following my advice tells me I won't lose a penny,
because you'll make so much money "Thank You, Dan Kennedy" will become your
mantra. Want proof/ Considerthe extraordinaryexperiences describedby Mike Kimble
on the enclosed green-colored page ... and other peoples' comments on its backside.
ZERO-RISK GUARANTEE:
Our Lazy Wealth-BuilderTele-Seminar gives you Mark Nolan's greatest secrets.
Everythingwill be completelyrevealed to you. Everything!Mark won't hold lYll'!l!l!!g
back from you!
81
You get bis completeLazy Wealth-BuilderSystem -for only the cost of the KICK-OFF
Tele-Seminar!We?llsend this completeProgram to you right after the Tele-Seminar!
Thismust be _·the·perfectway for you to make "lazy" money. If not, just let us know. Call
our office on the Monday after the Tele-Seminar and tell us ... You'll get a full ''no-
questions asked" refund. And we'll thank you for having the courage to attend this
event. You'll either love everythingabout this new Program or you'll get all Mark's
greatest secrets FREE!
Attendthis March28ilievent and get EVERYTHINGfor only the cost of the KICK-OFF
Tele-Seminar!
Turn this page to see the 3 differentways you can sign up for this valuableTele-Seminar.
Then, sign up today! Do it right now ... today ... This very minute!
Get and use "PracticeExcellence"for TWO FULL MONTHS - listen, share with your
team, extract strategies and implement, and be this program's tough "Hanging Judge" ...
--- if you don't feel that this is the best $125 you've invested in your practice in a long,
long time, simply return it to us and we will instantlyrefund the entire sum.
Of course, I know that's an outrageous promise, but I'm prepared to back it up. If you'll
take the time to read this letter in its entirety, I think you'll see that I do lmow ·what I'm
talkingabout.
And I'll even guarantee this letter! That's right - the letter. I know "time is money," so
1
j
if you read this entire letter and honestlyfeel that I'm "all wet" and that I've completely
wasted your time, you can jot me a note to that effect and I'll pay you $20 (Have you
ever known anybody willing to guarantee the value and importance of a letter?)
Bow can a letter be guaranteed? If you carefully and thoroughly read this entire letter
and honestly do NOT feel it was extremely relevant to our speaking business, important
82
arulvaluablefor you to read,just fill out the reverse side ~fthislittle Fonn and I'll pay
you $10 for taking the time to read this letter. This letter proves itself important to you
ORI PAY YOU TEN BUCKS. .
REQUESTFOR $10.00
Dan, I read your entire letter and all the enclosures word-for-word and honestly feel it
was a completewaste of my time.
Signature
Name:_______________ _
Address: _____________ _
City: _________ State: _____ Zip: ______ _
My $5,000 Guarantee:
Your success in using this "Ultimate Collection ofWllliling Ads And Sales Letters" is
completelyguaranteed. In fact, I'll put my money where my mouth is and say, "If You
Don't Generate At Least $5,000 lo Sales From Modeling These Ads & Sales Letters ... I'll
Give You A Complete And A Full Refund Of Your Money."
In case you have any lingering doubts whatsoever, I want to make this completely"fool-
proof' for you. Here's how:
I personally guarantee that you will be absolutely delighted with your new
"Business-In-A-BoL" In fact, I'll give you a 14 day "free peek" at this blockbuster
material.
Take 14 days to examine the "Instant Publisher CD," the starting inventory, the
Marketing Guide, the ready-to-use ads, and everything else. Listen to the "Direct
Mail Bootcamp" tapes.
If you feel that I fell short in any way on delivering everything that I promised in
this letter, just return the "Business-In-A-Box" and I'll be happy to give you a full
83
refund, issued the vety same day we get the materials back. No hassles and no
questions asked?
This the fairestguarantee I can offer. This is because I'm sending you a "license" giving
you the m right to duplicate aod sell our "Instant Publisher" and "Start Your Own '
Business" CDs.
So go aheadand examinethe materialsat my risk, not yours. If for any reason,you're not
100% satisfied,I waot you to ask fur, and get, your money back! And, I'll let you keep
the ''Direct Mail Bootcamp" Audio Cassette Library (?REE Bonus #2) as my way of
thankingyou for looking over the materials.
Right now, while it's fresh on your mind, call our 24-Hour Order Line at 1-800-522-4626
and place your order. Your package will be shipped to you within the next 48 hours by
Priority Mail
I personally guarantee if you make a diligent effort to use just a few of the proven
Strategies and techniques in this course, you'll produce at least 10 times your
Investment in profits within the next 12 months. That's right, 10 times extra profits
You would never have seen without this course. If you don't, I'll refund the entire
cost of the course to you.
Actually, you get double protection. Here's how. I'll also give you a 14 day "free
peek" at this blockbuster material Take a detailed tour of all fifteen chapters.
Listen to the bonus tapes. Hyou feel that I feel short in any way on delivering
84
everything I've promised, just return the materials and I'll be happy fo·give you a
complete refund. No questions asked! ·
What could be more firir? You can "test drive" every breakthrough strategy and technique
for 12 full months. You'll be able to conclusivelydeterminewhether this powerful course
will work for you.
If it doesn't beingyou serious profits,I want you to ask for, and get, your moneyback!
And, I'll let you keep the free bonuses as my way of thanking you for giving this course a
try.
If the Online Marketing Power Pack isn't everything I say it is, if you aren't absolutely
thrilled when you open the huge box I'm going to send you, if you are dissatisfiedin any
way shape or form every in your entire life, and if you fail to earn at least 10 times
your money on the course price witltin 12 months of purchasing it, PU give you
100%of your investmentback, includingany shippingcharges.Bottom line,I
unconditionallyguaranteeyour total and complete satisfactionforever!
POSTSCRIPTS
P.S. This is OW' finalnotii::e.We sure hope we can be of service to you.
P.S. I know it's January,it's cold and you didn't wake up this morningthinkingabout
your lawn. But we need to have time to get that mower tuned and back to you before the
grass starts growing- and we need to get the first treatmentdown to preventthat ugly
crabgrass this spring, so why not contact us today?
P.S. As I promised in that first letter, if you currently have a lawn service, I will match
theirprices on standardprograms- and the rest of the offer is like FREE MONEY,so
why not contact us today?
P.S. Remember, your purchase is 100% guaranteed. If you are ever unhappy for any
reason, you can return any film boxes opened or wiopened for a full refund. No questions
asked. No hassles. And even if you decide to return the film.you can.keep all the free
giftsregardless.
P.P.S. Please realize x-ray prices could go up anytime because raw materials like silver
are at a 9 ½ year high. Silver has jumped 61% since mid '97 and just last week it
bounded up another 10%. Which means this could be your last chance to guarantee these
low x-ray prices for the next 3 years.
P.S. Don't miss out on the free servicecall-at a value of$180 (with no obligationon
your part to purchase anything) it's one of the best offers we have ever made! To receive
85
yours, simplyfill out and fax-back the enclosed form. Or call me directly and I can take
down your informationover the phone. Either way, you'll need to act fast, because this
offi:ris only availableuntil August 31, 1998.
P.S. I know the natural tendency is to set my letter aside, to think it over- but then it may
get lost or you may forget about it. My time will become more and more limitedas the
appeal deadlineapproaches (St. Louis City-May 11th,St. Louis aod St. Charles
Counties- June 15th). So, I will not be able to give out Free Advisory Reports to
everyonewho calls.Please callNOW to see how muchyou can save.
P .P.S. The bottom line is this: Not allowing us to help you virtually guarantees you will
be throwingmoney away. When was the last time you threw dollars into the trash can?
Whynot guarantee that you never do that again?
P.P.P .S. Even if you were unsuccessful previously, or just because this isn't a
reassessmentyear, please still call. We can still appeal your taxes this year. You have
nothing to lose (Except Your Hard-Earned Money).
P.S. My guarantee to you is this: you will get complimentson your home or I'll refund
every cent you paid - guaranteed.
P.S. Ifl were you, I wouldn't wait 'till the last few days. Come early so that you can get
the best selection and we can give you the attention you deserve.
P.P.S. Only a very select list of previous clients are receivingthis letter and the enclosed
coupons.They are in additionto the AnniversarySalepricesofferedto the public.
P .S. After re-reading my entire letter and thinking this over for a few days, I've decided
to up the ante. I am absolutelydeterminedto get EVERY one ofmy Inner Circle
Members using Power Points. Should you be dissatisfied,not only will I refund your
money PLUS give you that sum againin ..script" toward any products, seminars,or
services-I'll ALSO PAY YOU $20 IN EXTRA CASH for your inconvenience.That's
right: your money back plus twenty bucks out of my pocket.
P.P.S.: If you take my current $700 per hour rate, and figure it takes about 5 minutes to
ask a single question and have me answer it, that breaks down to about $58 for one piece
of advice. Use Power Points just 6 times and you're ahead of the game. But that's till
"small potatoes." Imagine what having "me" in a box, waiting to advise you anytime,
instantly, can be worth over a year's time!
P.S. One ofmy earlier Licensees has made over One MillionDollars withjust ONE of
my '•hot" products. This is a documented fact. Of course, it's not "typical" of
everybody'seffortsand results.But, it is an excitingdemonstrationof what is possiblein
this fascinating business.
P.P.P.S. You can take care of your $4,995 payment in three monthly installmentsof
$1,665 (you can even use muhiple credit cards if you wish). But, if you'll save me the
bookkeeping work that involves and pay in full now, you can deduct $250 and pay only
$4,745. PLUS, I'll give you a second, very valuable FREE GIFT: unlimited Reprint
Rights to TWELVE issues of my "Direct Marketing Strategies Newsletter." Each issue is
about 8 pages. They deal with importaot topics like "How To Find Hot Mailing Lists"
and "15 Ways To Get Your Customers Coming Back And Spending Money With You
Repeatedly." You can sell subscriptions to this newsletter, use them as customer gifts, for
87
lead generation, and many other ways. Or,you can sell them "bundled" as a profitable
product. This is easily a $1,200 value its_elfYours free, if you pay the $4,745 in full.
P.S. To get your copy of the book with,the FREE Bonus Section, "350 Of The Best
Headlines Ever Written." you must ~ct withinthe next 10 days. These headlines will
absolutelyhelp you create eye-catching; powerful headlinesthat will captivate your
reader's attention. This is a must have resource for creating MillionDollar ads & sales
letters.
P.P.S. Don't furget the "Ultimate Collection" book comes with my $5 000 Guarantee.All
of your risks have been removed. You just have to decide how much money you want to
make and begin modelingthese letters. Call me and order your copy now.
P.S. By acting right now, you get a great price, all the materials you need to flood your
business with new customers, and the special Bonus Report. But only if you order within
the next 7 days.
Remember,you'd pay a copywriter thousands to create these fonnats for you. Not to
mention what it would cost you to test and fine-tune them. But allthat's been done for
you. These powerful fonnats have been proven over and over againthe only place where
it really counts - in the marketplace!
P.S. By acting right now, you get substantial savings, a wealth of bonuses, and all with a
12-monthmoney-back guarantee. This collection of audiotapes, manuals, FREEbonuses,
and generous guarantee is good for only 7 days - and will not be repeated.
Plus, it's easy to put into action. Just read or listen for half-hour or so everyday. Then
follow the simpleplan you get to start implementingthose strategies that pay you the
most profits for the least effort and expense.
Once you see the extra sales start rolling in, there's no turning back! Your only regret
will be that you didn't discover this highly profitable course IOyears ago!
So call 1-800-522-4626 ext. 189 and please your order right NOW!
P.S. Accompanyingthis letter are comments from people who experienced the Direct
Mail Boot camp.
P.S.S. Your satisfactionis completely guaranteed! Use the Direct Mail Bootcamp course
for one full year. If you're not totally satisfiedwith the course for any reason withinthe
next 12 months, return it for a full I 00% refund issued the very same day we get the
course back.
88
P.S. I tirge yo~·tO:seriouslyconsider my offer. Either way, you win big. After all, the
worst thing thathappens is you get the $1,177 bonus gift package to keep for FREE. Of
,s
course, the best thing that happens that you make so much money, you never have to
worry again. SoUildspretty good no matter how you slice it!
PPS: If you are nbt planningto invest in my package, then please ask yourself this
question:"How will I learnwhat I need to know to becomesuccessful?''If you can't
answer that, you must cal: 1-800-522-4626.
P.S. Remember, the risk is entirely onme. You can use every strategy and technique of
all 123 experts for 12 full months and prove to yourself that theywork as well as I've
promised.
If you aren't satisfied,for anyreason,just return the course for a prompt, full refund.
You've got absolutely nothing to lose - and substantial sales and profits to gain. Fax your
order right now to XXX-XXX-XX:XX.Or call the 24-Hours Order Line right now: 1-
800-XXX-XXXX.
P.S. If you order within the next 10 days, you'll get our manualtitles, "How To Grow
Rich With Direct Mail" absolutely FREE!!! This manual will give you the recipefor
successfor creating high profit, low risk direct mailprojects! Yours FREE if you order
withinthe uext 10 days.