Almost Maine Sides

Please prepare one of the following monologues for the audition. You may be
asked to read others as well, so please look over each of them. The one you
select does not have to be memorized, but it will help you if it is. If it is not
memorized please bring a printed copy with you to auditions.

Take your time with the moments.

We are looking for your personal truth behind the character.

Audition Monologue Options:

GLORY 1
I’m here to pay my respects. To my husband. Wes. I just wanted to say
goodbye to him, cause he died recently. On Tuesday, actually. And, see, the northern
lights—did you know this?—the northern lights are really the torches that the recently
departed carry with them so they can find their way to heaven, and, see, it takes three
days for the soul to make its way home to heaven, and this is Friday! This is the third
day, so you see, I will see them, the northern lights, because they’re him: He’ll be
carrying one of the torches. And, see, I didn’t leave things well with him, so I was just
hoping I could come here and say goodbye to him and not be bothered, but what you
did there just a second ago, that bothered me, I think, and I’m not here for that, so
maybe I should go find another yard.

GLORY 2
I need to apologize to him....See, he had come to visit me when I was in
recovery from when they put my artificial heart in----and I was almost better; I was just
about to go home too---and he said he wanted me back, And I said, “Wes, I have a new
heart now. I’m sorry.....It doesn’t want you back....” And that just killed him. Because he
got so sad that my new heart didn’t want him back, that he just tore outta the hospital,
and....an ambulance that was comin’ in from an emergency didn’t see him and
just...took him right out, and if I’d have been able to take him back, he wouldn’t have
torn outta there like that, and so, I just feel that, for closure, the right thing to do is
apologize.

MARCI 3
Phil! I’m not mad at you about workin’. You gotta work. I understand that.
What I don’t understand is why I’m lonely, Phil. I got a husband and a coupla great kids.
And I’m lonely...you just----you don’t pay attention anymore. You go away. And I don’t
know where you go, but you go somewhere where you can’t pay attention and you
forget your son’s first hockey game and you forget Missy’s birthday and you forget your
anniversary! I mean, I brought you here hoping you’d remember about us. But you
didn’t. And that makes me so mad I don’t know what to do anymore....I didn’t have fun
tonight, Phil. I didn’t. I don’t have fun with you anymore.
GAYLE 4
Lendall.....you don’t love me. And I’ve been trying to fix that. I’ve tried to
make you love me by giving you every bit of love I had, and now....I don’t have any love
for me left, and that’s....that’s not good for a person...and...that’s why I want all the love I
gave you back, because I wanna bring it with me. I need to get away from this
town....and I need to get away from you so I can think and start over, and so: all the love
I gave to you? I want it back, in case I need it. Because I can’t very well go around
giving your love----cause that’s all I have right now, is the love you gave me---I can’t
very well go around giving your love to other guys. So I think---I think that since I know
that you’re not ready to do what comes next for people who have been together for
quite a long time, I think we’re gonna be done.

HOPE 5
Looking for Daniel Harding, yeah. He lives here. I thought. But.....oooh.....he
doesn’t does he? Ooooh. I am so sorry. I’m so embarrassed. “Who is this woman and
what is she doing here?” (Pause) I just honestly thought he’d be here, I always thought
he’d be here. Always. (Pause) Do you know him? Big Guy? Tall Guy? Strong. Oh, don’t
even answer that. That was---I know that’s a horrible question to ask a person who lives
in a small town, as if everybody in small towns knows everybody else, agh!, can’t
believe I asked that. I mean, you know who you know, and you don’t know who you
don’t know, just like anywhere else. (Pause) I’m sorry to have bothered you. I was just
sure---When his parents passed away, he kept the house, I heard. He lived here. He
stayed here, I thought. He was one of the ones who stayed.
(Pause) I didn’t stay. I went away. And I guess he did too. I never thought he would. I
guess, I lost track...You gotta hold onto people or you lose ‘em.

STEVE 6
I can’t explain what it’s like. See, I don’t feel any pain. I don’t know what it’s
like to hurt, so....I don’t know. I don’t really feel. See, I don’t have fully developed pain
sensors. They’re immature, my brother Paul says, and because they’re immature, my
development as a human being has been retarded. Paul teaches me what hurts,
though----so I won’t ruin myself. I have to know what hurts, so I know when to be
afraid---so I have to memorize what to be afraid of. Things like bears. And guns and
knives. And fire. And fear---I should fear fear itself----and pretty girls. My brother Paul
says they can hurt you ‘cause they make you love them, and that’s something I’m
supposed to be afraid of too----love.
CHAD 7
I don’t know. Just sometimes...I don’t know why I bother goin’ out. I don’t
like it Randy. I hate it. I hate goin’ out on those dates. I mean, why do I wanna spend my
Friday night with some girl I might maybe like, when I could be spendin’ it hangin’ out
with someone I know I like, like you, you know?
And all I can think about is how not much in this world makes me feel good or makes
much sense anymore, and I got really scared, ‘cause there’s gotta be something that
makes you feel good or at least makes sense in this world, or what’s the point, right?
But then I kinda came out of being’ sad, and actually felt okay, ‘cause I realized that
there is one thing in this world that makes me feel really good and that does make
sense, and it’s you.

RANDY 8
Chad--- I’m your best buddy in the whole world...and I don’t quite know what
you’re doin’ or what you’re goin’ on about....but---what the heck is your problem?!?
What the heck are you doin’!?! Jeezum Crow, you’re my best friend, and
that’s----....That’s a thing you don’t mess with. And you messed with it. And you don’t do
that. ‘Cause, you know somethin’, you’re about the only thing that feels really good and
makes sense in this world to me, too,
and then you go and foul it up, by doin’ this and tellin’ me that, and now it just doesn’t
make any sense at all. And it doesn’t feel good. You’ve done a real number on a good
thing, here buddy, ‘cause we’re friends, and there’s a line when you’re friends that you
can’t cross. And you crossed it!

PHIL 9
You lie. You lie so bad. You’re mad at me. But you don’t tell me---even when
I ask you over and over-----and I-----No! No! No! You don’t know how to tell me what
you feel like about me, so I never know where I am, where I stand! Maybe that’s why I
go away! So I can know where I am for a second! And you know what, it’s lonely there
too, where I go. And you sent me there. You went away a long time before I did. And
now, all’s you do is lie. You do! You say you’re not mad, but you’re mad! You say you
have fun, but you didn’t! You didn’t have fun tonight, did you? But you kept sayin’ you
did....well, I had a rotten, lousy time.

DANIEL 10
You think you dashed his hopes and dreams? Oh, come on. You give yourself
too much credit. He was young. That’s all you need to get your hopes dashed: Be
young. And everybody starts out young, so---everybody gets their hopes dashed, and
besides...I don’t think you really dashed his hopes. ‘Cause if you dash somebody’s
hopes----well that’s....kind of a nice way to let ‘em down ‘cause it hurts ...but it’s quick. If
you’d have said, “No,” that woulda been “dashing his hopes”. (Pause) But you didn’t
say, “No.” You said nothin’. You just didn’t answer him. At all. And that’s...killin’ hope the
long, slow, painful way, ‘cause it’s still there just hangin’ on, never really goes away.
And that’s’....kinda like givin’ somebody a little less air to breathe every day. Till they
die.