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The Technical Game Bible
The Technical Game Bible
Bible
Contents
If you’re reading this book, chances are you already know who I
am
But for those of you who landed here without knowing much
about me, let me give you a quick rundown, and tell you exactly
why I decided to write this book and what it can do for you
For the past 4-5 years, before retiring from coaching pickup, I
ran one of the most successful dating coaching companies in
the southern hemisphere – at the ripe age of 23 years
And ultimately, that was the real secret to our success. Over-
delivering results for our clients and re-defining the industry
standards of what makes a successful program
For the sole reason that I was able to offer something nobody
else in the industry ever really could
Or if you paid a personal trainer to work with you, only for you
to come out of the program following his every-step, looking,
feeling and performing the exact same, would you be satisfied
with them telling you that you ‘shouldn’t be outcome
dependent’?
I’m not going use his real name, but let’s call him Jesse
If I’d ever met anyone who deserved to get good at this stuff,
it’s this guy. He followed every single piece of advice to a tee.
He’d meditate before going out, drink his kombucha, follow an
extremely clean diet, dress well, not take rejection personally,
self-amuse etc….
Little did I know that night after night, rejection after rejection,
he was slowly dying on the inside
Some more months went by. The results still weren’t there.
I could tell from the look on Jesse’s face that every night he was
starting to become more and more discouraged and thinking
of giving up
‘No it was not nice to meet you. Get the fuck out of my face. I
hope you get run over.’
Soon after that, feeling like he’s wasting years of his life –
mental, physical, and emotional energy – and making a fool
of himself night after night, he made a pledge to quit game
forever
Why is it that in every area of life if you work super hard, are
consistent with your effort and get ‘professional guidance’, you
inevitably get good, except for pickup apparently?
Yet for the past decade, just about every figurehead in the
community has advocated for a ‘natural’ based approach, with
a deep rooted focus in non-quantifiable and extremely vague
concepts like ‘state’, ‘self-amusement’, and ‘freedom from
outcome’
Maybe
Absolutely not
Using this knowledge, you know exactly where you are in each
given moment in the interaction AND what to do in order to
move things forward to the next stage
But the beauty is, instead of going home frustrated and trying
to figure out where things went wrong and evaluating your
performance using esoteric and non-quantifiable metrics,
you’ll know exactly what you did wrong and what you can do in
order to course correct
You might keep getting stuck at level 4 for a while, but at least
you know what you need to do in order to beat it next time
That’s how you go from not being able to hold a girl’s attention
for 5 minutes to holding hour long sets where the girl is chasing
and ends up pulling you
The bottom line is, you need to learn how to relax when you’re
out in nightclubs, and approaching girls in general. The issue of
course, is that this is a catch-22. The act of approaching itself is
an anxiety inducing activity for most people.
1. I Am The Prize
If you genuinely believed that you are the prize, that you have
what women need more than they have what you want, how
much money would you be spending on women? (directly and
indirectly). Would you ever bend over or supplicate? Would
you ever tolerate anything other than what you believe you
deserve? Would you be afraid to potentially offend a girl?
The kind of man whom women compete over is not the kind
of man who competes with other men over women. He is in a
different league all together
Your number one purpose in your life is your mission and the
girls always come second. If, for whatever reason – she
encroaches on your boundaries, behaves below a certain
standard, lets herself go, or begins to take more than she gives
– you should, without any hesitation be willing to walk away.
Not only that – but walking away knowing full well that it’s
not going to be any trouble finding another girl of a similar
or higher quality. Conversely, if for whatever reason, she walks
away, the same thoughts should be flooding your mind.
Once you fully embody these beliefs, your baseline good ‘vibe’
and micro-behaviors (i.e subcommunications) will imprint the
girl with a positive intuitive assessment of you. This is why some
men can have almost comically bad conversations and still get
the girl – they were excelling at the 80% of communication that
is non-verbal
How do you rewire the old, useless beliefs and replace with
these new, useful ones?
This is the important part, but also the most complicated and
nuanced. The only way to ingrain these new beliefs is by
actively seeking out new references for them. Think of it like
this;
Whilst you are building up your new reality with all these
methods, it’s crucial not to undo that progress by letting the
old beliefs habitually take over and dominate. That’s were self-
Pavlovian conditioning comes in and will help shed the layers
from your old beliefs. A simple way of implementing this is
by walking around with a rubber band around your wrist, and
every time you catch yourself feeding into your old reality, or
indulging in negative self-talk, you stretch the rubber band
and let it sling onto your wrist. Yeah, it hurts. That’s the idea.
You punish the negative behavior which will condition you to
And that’s the idea. You have to break the habit of ‘being
yourself’. As long as you are confined by your self-image, you
will be trapped by your own perceived limitations. There will
zero-to-little room for improvement.
Coaches who teach natural game and claim that they pull by
As with most things, the mainstream view of, ‘if you’re using
any techniques to pick up girls you are an evil manipulator’,
lacks any sort of nuance and looks to oversimplify a complex
issue. Funnily enough, dating coaches for females seem to
avoid that same criticism for far more morally questionable
tactics.
When you offer your lazy dog a treat to incentivize him to come
outside for a walk with you, in order to keep him healthy, does
that make you a horrible person?
That’s manipulation
Now, let’s suppose that the situation was flipped. And that
same parent came into my dealership with his kids and wife
and said, ‘Look man, I just need that R8 out front. I’ve got the
cash. I know that I should buy a six seater, and it’s completely
irrational, but I’m just really leaning towards that R8’
Or ‘Lead….maybe?’
Even the old school structure of ‘Open -> Hook -> Vibe -> Seed
-> Pull,’ Is pretty useless. I’m sure you’ve had interactions where
you’ve vibed with the girl for hours and she seems into you but
still wouldn’t come home with you and even flakes on the date
What gives?
What gives is that the process you have been using is broken.
Any time you ask for something, you are asking for compliance.
Everything comes down to compliance.
But the way they run and teach game goes something like this
– jump into the set and test for a girl’s level of compliance very
early (either by seeding the pull or trying to move her around),
and if she’s non-compliant, they move on. If she goes along
This is just a fact of life. Even if you max out your physical
appearance potential. Any girl who is +7 is just swamped with
options. I’m not saying this to kill your hopes and ambitions,
but simply pointing out difficult truths. Once we accept the
boundaries and parameters we are dealing with, it’s far easier
to actually formulate a solution.
Lets face it, and I’m just being real with you here, most girls
that you approach already have options of guys who are better
looking, more successful, or higher-value than you in some
But alas, there is still hope for you yet. After all, I’m some
average looking, beer-bellied, brown guy who by 23 has slept
with more stunning women than I care to count.
C ∝ I + BT
The more invested she is into you, and the higher her buying
temperature is, the more compliant she will be. Conversely, the
lower high levels of investment and buying temperature, the
less compliant she will be
Let’s start with the simple stuff. You’ve probably heard the
phrase – ‘change her mood, not her mind.’ For those of you
who are a little bit more seasoned in this pickup business, you
already understand the meaning of this phrase. But for those
of you who don’t, it basically refers to the idea that girls are, at
least in part, governed by emotions (to be fair, this is more of a
‘human’ thing than a ‘women’ thing)
Or in other terms, it’s not what she thinks about you…. It’s how
Why?
You’re relaxing with your girlfriend on the couch and you want
to get her to come to the gym with you. But she’s feeling quite
lazy and just wants to watch some Netflix for the rest of the
night. You have two options:
‘Come on, the gym is super healthy! Don’t you want to be fit?’
Remember that time you opened a girl and you make out
instantly? Sorry to break it to you, but it wasn’t because you
were ‘on point’ or were able to accidentally pull off some
magical body language trick that triggered primal levels of
attraction to the point she couldn’t keep her hand off you.
Rather, she already had a high level of compliance because her
buying temperature happened to be at a high point when you
approached
Remember that time you opened a girl and pulled her within
minutes? The reason you were able to get away with that sort
of stuff is because her buying temperature was already
extremely high at the time you approached. That’s all
Then she happens to meet you. At that point, her emotions are
organically spiked through the roof. That’s why you were able
to get away with so much, so quickly
Basically, you were simply at the right place, at the right time.
Well, the answer is all of the above. It’s not the experience of
a single emotional frequency that generated arousal, rather it
was the RANGE and CONTRAST of DIFFERENT emotions that
spiked her buying temperature.
Don’t worry, we’ll get to that. But first, I’d like to point out a
couple of things. Everything I pointed out above in terms of
buying temperature isn’t groundbreaking. And although not
many people have articulated the correlation directly between
A bit primitive, but at least it’s not off center. For the past
10 years or so, the industry leader (not too difficult to guess
who I’m referring to here), through which most people get
introduced to game, hammers this point home to death
‘Fun = SEX!’
‘Just have fun bro, the girl will get drawn in’
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that having fun and
being able to influence a girl’s emotions is NOT a useful tool
when it comes to getting laid. It obviously is. We just laid out a
specific positive relationship between compliance and buying
temperature.
There are issues with this approach. The most obvious and
predictable is the fact that, as was mentioned earlier, emotions
are extremely fickle. They can change in a heartbeat due to
factors outside of your control. Suppose you spent the last 45
minutes with a girl just spiking and vibing non-stop, and are
now going for the pull – then in that moment she receives a
Her logical brain will kick into overdrive, she’ll come to her
senses regarding the fact that she’s about to go home with a
guy she barely knows, and her level of emotional arousal will
drop back down to the floor. All that time and work put in for
nothing. All that compliance gone in an instant
That was just one example. This type of thing can basically
happen at any given point along the interaction – so much
so that it makes purely relying on emotions and buying
temperature to generate compliance an incredibly
inconsistent approach.
At this point you guys should be able to identify the issue and
the reason for this. You were playing off of her emotions. And
her emotions blow around like a ship on a stormy sea. So even if
you kissed her, she might very well wake up the next morning,
with her emotions in a completely different place, not fancying
you much.
The logical forebrain serves as the repository for all her social
programming, cultural knowledge, memories and self-
conception. Her emotional hindbrain is the wellspring of her
emotions and animal drives – including lust. As we just
discussed, this is typically what guys tap into the create those
tingles and motivate her to sleeping with you.
Not just emotionally feel like she’s turned on by you – but also
logically acknowledge the fact that she wants to sleep with
you. That way even if her emotions sway or something comes
up, it makes no difference and you still have compliance.
The forebrain is not fickle and easily swayed like the hindbrain.
Once a significant decision is made, it’s often difficult to
change. Often to the point where once she’s decided she’s
going to sleep with you, she’s the one initiating the pull, telling
her friends to leave you two alone, and suggesting that you
leave together
That’s when you get sets so solid that nothing can steer it off
course – and have girls pull you.
Investment
‘Hey man, I need to ask you for a huge favor. I know you’re
Now let’s say you received the exact same phone call from an
acquaintance which you barely knew. What are the odds that
you’d go out of your way for them?
The process by which you take her from that initial to later
thought is called ‘emotional leading’, and it should be the
bedrock and guiding light of all your interactions. You are
leading her from ‘who is this guy’ to ‘Wow I feel like I’ve known
him for years’ through eliciting a lot of investment
Or
See the difference? In the first example, she doesn’t really care
about your opinion or what you think. So she’s comfortable just
saying anything, and doesn’t bother putting much effort in.
Whereas in the second example, she’s treading more carefully.
She’s not just telling you what she does, she’s also justifying
it with her pure motives – basically she’s giving you a long-
winded, emotionally rich answer. That’s the difference between
investing and ‘just talking’
This is the reason you can’t simply just walk up to a girl and
open with – ‘Hey, tell me about your deepest fears and
insecurities’ – and expect her to come rushing out with an
out-pour of emotional investment. If you could run a set like
that, it would be ideal. Because you’d be getting huge amounts
of investment, and therefore compliance, right off the bat.
However, if you try this, the most likely reaction you’ll get is
‘what? Who the hell are you?’
She doesn’t know who you are and has no reason to invest
in you. And as such, you must structure an interaction more
methodically and gradually if you wish to build high levels of
investment.
At this point, you will still probably have more questions than
answers – and that’s understandable. We still have a lot of
ground to cover in order to give you a complete picture.
Take a little bit of time to digest some of this stuff if you need to
before moving on
To recap:
Since her compliance levels are very low, you can’t simply ask
for investment straight off the bat. Which is what most guys do.
They hammer her with endless interview questions and receive
one word answer responses until the interaction dies out.
And because her compliance levels are now raised, you can
proceed to offer up a slightly larger hoop next time
I know that may sound complicated the first time you read it,
so go over it again before moving on if you need to.
Each time she says ‘yes’ to a request (or jump through a hoop),
the ‘compliance momentum’ begins to affect her decisions, in
the sense that she is more likely to comply with the next hoop.
The more she complies to requests, the more likely she is to
comply with future – often, more demanding – requests. You
build things up progressively
Make sense?
This 80/20 rule is simply a mental model I use to guide this first
phase of the interaction. 80% of the time, I am in ‘offering value’
mode. Messing around, throwing spikes left, right and center.
Bantering. Not taking myself too seriously. Not taking the girl
particularly seriously. Spiking emotions.
Phase 2: Mid-Game
During this phase, you need to tone down the spiking, and
amp up both frequency and level of investment hoops.
For example
Her: 2 weeks
Her: For 2 weeks… but I’m gonna be staying here for a little
while longer. For another 2 months at least.
Another classic sign is at the point where she begins to ask you
questions
The most obvious way to confirm that you are in stage two is to
ask for some level of physical compliance for the girl by moving
her around. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a full isolation
completely away from her friends, but even just getting her to
stand up from her chair or move a meter or two is enough to
confirm that you’re usually at phase two
Spike -> level 2 Hoop -> Explore the topic a bit/vibe -> repeat
Most guys tend to make one of two mistakes here. Either they
Phase 3:
During this phase is when you get her to open up with regards
to very personal topics – including family, romantic
relationships (past and present), ambitions etc..
The beauty of this process is that the further you get into an
interaction, the easier it becomes to run it and the less work
you have to put in as the girl begins investing more and more.
Remember, this was just an overview. We will now begin
dissecting each section and subsection of this process in more
detail, and various other nuances, including what to do if a girl
simply isn’t investing and jumping through your hoops
3.1 Subcommunications
62 | Opening Manifesto
body language subtleties required to pull it off in writing, I will
leave that to the live streams in the mastermind.
1. Eye Contact
Opening Manifesto | 63
pierce one of the girl’s pupils deeply. (More on this, as well as
other subcommunications in the mastermind)
2. Proximity/Cutting Spaces
You could be talking about the most sexual topics in the world,
but it wouldn’t actually generate any sexual tension if you are
standing two meters apart. Conversely, you can talk about the
most bland subjects and create a sexual undertone just by
closing the proximity.
Get close!
3. Squaring Up
This is a fairly simple one, but guys still manage to mess this up.
Squaring up does not mean coming in at a 45 degree angle,
not a 90 degree angle, but fully squaring up at 180 degrees.
64 | Opening Manifesto
Like the others, vocal tonality is far easier to demonstrate
through video than it is to articulate through writing. Although
there are an infinite number of tonalities you could employ,
broadly speaking, there are only three different tonal
inflections you can use. Those being seeking rapport, neutral,
and breaking rapport.
As far as volume goes, speak UP. Do not speak at the girl, speak
THROUGH the girl. Imagine she is standing 2 meters further
away from you than she actually is.
There are two other rules that you should always be adhering
to when opening
Opening Manifesto | 65
difficult to conduct a meaningful, long interaction that
way. It will eventually get awkward and difficult. Pulling up
a new chair next to her immediately will place more
pressure on you for the first few seconds but now you
actually have a chance to conduct a proper interaction.
Chose the first 3 seconds of awkwardness in order to avoid
the next 30 minutes of awkwardness. Commit and don’t
half-ass the approach. Make it count
2. Locking-In: In the most technical of terms, ‘locking-in’ is
the idea of positioning oneself as the center of attention in
an interaction, and physically having the girl lean towards
you, giving off the impression you are in a position of
power within the interaction
66 | Opening Manifesto
dynamic. That could be the bar, a wall, a door, a table, a pole, a
couch – anything in your immediate vicinity. 90% of the time,
there will be some place for you to lock in. If there isn’t, you
should be looking to physically move the interaction to a place
where you can as quickly as possible.
1. Direct
2. Compliment
3. Introduction
Opening Manifesto | 67
4. Observational
5. Opinion
6. Functional
68 | Opening Manifesto
into a more playful, flirtatious vibe that will generate emotional
arousal. Unless you are very conversationally skilled, you’re
more likely to get stuck in a bland, predictable, logical
conversation
Etc…
Opening Manifesto | 69
“I’m going to be really honest here, I think you’re super cute”
70 | Opening Manifesto
fluff she’s heard all her life. Be as specific as you can, and
compliment something she’s had to work for or attain. It’ll be
far more impactful
‘Wow, I like the fact that you matched your shoes with your
belt. Good shit, keep it up.’
‘Hey this is going to be a bit forward, but you have the sexiest
neck’
• Eye lashes
• Makeup/foundation
• Heels/shoes
Opening Manifesto | 71
can usually sniff this out immediately and will be repulsed by
that energy
(or if she’s wearing high heels, ‘with some PROPER high heels
on’)
‘Ok there are two options here…. Either you’re the coolest girl in
here or the craziest’
72 | Opening Manifesto
‘You have the best smile I’ve seen tonight……..(Begin counting
in fingers) No wait, actually the third best’
‘You’re the cutest girl I’ve seen tonight….. In the last 2 minutes’
In 2014-15 I slept with more girls than any other year of my life.
To the point where I lost count multiple times despite trying
very hard to keep it. Believe it or not, this was essentially the
only opener I used. Because I’m so proficient at pumping
emotions and value into the interaction after the open, which
is what matters
Opening Manifesto | 73
“Hey how’s it going. My name is [name]. I usually spend Friday
nights at my mum’s basement but she told me to go out and
make friends tonight”
“Hey I’m [name]. I’m really shy and this is my first time doing
this so you’re gonna have to go easy on me”
3.7 Observational
The idea is that you are going to notice something about the
girl and use that to spark the conversation. This obviously
presents an immediate problem – you have to be creative. You
have to come up with something new on the spot, making it
harder to execute. I can’t provide you with a default list
74 | Opening Manifesto
1. It creates very high engagement as it’s relevant to her.
People’s favorite topic of conversation is themselves, and
when you make such an observation, it will peak her
curiosity immediately
2. It places you in the ‘prize/buyer’ frame. Similar to the
specific compliment opener, you are assuming a lot of
authority, however, this time also withholding interest.
“I like the way you handled that crowd…. I’m just hoping out
can’t out-bench me”
“Oh it’s all good, you don’t have to keep looking…. I’m right here”
Opening Manifesto | 75
“And just when I thought I couldn’t find a girl who could out-
drink me”
Observational/Accusational
If you want to take these one step further, you can incorporate
a playful accusation following the observation. Naturals do this
all the time. The reason it works so well is that it adds a ‘push’
element into the opener, but in a less high risk fashion than the
direct ‘push-pull’.
“Yo what the fuck?! Didn’t you hear. There’s no dancing in here’
“I totally caught you checking me out like a fat kid checks out
cake”
“Didn’t your mum teach you that it’s rude to stare. I mean, I
know I’m god-like, but please, have some self-respect”
76 | Opening Manifesto
[Girl is carrying lots of shopping bags]
You can also tailor this one – for example if she’s buying a
couple of drinks at the bar and paying with her credit bar
Opinion Openers:
These need no introduction and stretch back all the way to the
original Mystery Method days. And although I personally prefer
the observational/accusational/push-pull openers, if applied
properly, these can be just as effective.They get an incredibly
bad reputation from the ‘Natural’ pick-up guys as well as the
mainstream, but in reality they get the job done.
Opening Manifesto | 77
misapplied, opinion openers can also be ineffective if not
executed the correct way. The idea is to tempt her with the
right subject matter that girls universally find captivating —
love, lust, relationships, fashion, betrayal.
78 | Opening Manifesto
a conversation with a girl. That’s it. You still need to be able to
follow up.
If you want to take these one step further, you can even
incorporate some pre-selection into them. That would go
something like this
Opening Manifesto | 79
you have super high standards for what you’re willing to
let into your life, etc…
You get the idea. Pulling out that little routine is about 10x more
powerful and effective in regards to moving the interaction
forward than any ‘natural’ introductory opener. It’s more
reliable and predictable.
These are the safest and lowest risk category of openers. And in
my personal opinion, too boring to incorporate into my game.
There is no engagement or adrenaline rush from opening with
a functional opener. However, these will basically guarantee
you close to a 100% open rate. If you approach a girl, a group of
girls, a mixed group or even a couple as they’re making out in a
respectful, ‘functional’ way, they will engage you back. So given
the ‘rejection’ rate of this opener is close to 0%, it’s a nice little
party trick to have to impress your friends when approaching if
you want to make sure the set opens well
80 | Opening Manifesto
with either an observational comment – ‘Oh, you actually have
a really easy going vibe. Let me guess – you’re in some sort
of creative field’ – or they go full direct and reveal their true
intentions – ‘Actually, I just thought you were super cute, I
wanted to say Hi’
Opening Manifesto | 81
4. How To Arouse A Girl
Emotionally
When it comes to going out and picking up girls, I dare say that
being able to cognitively, emotionally and sexually stimulate a
girl is probably the most important tool in your arsenal.
Think of when you last watched favorite sport – I’ll take football
(soccer) as an example here. Suppose you’re incredibly hyped
for a game, but as it begins, you can see it going to be a
fairly one-sided affair. By half time, your team is absolutely
obliterating the opponent – outscoring them 6-0. And there’s
still 45 minutes of this left. What happens to your attention and
engagement to the game at this point?
When was the last time YOU were able to provide the girl with
Let’s drill this down further and delve into how to actually
provide her with that emotional contrast. The technique
required to achieve this is know as an ‘Emotional Spike’ – in
layman’s terms, this is just any expression that is simply outside
the range of ‘regular’, socially conditioned norms of
conversation.
1. Jokes/Self-amusement
2. Role-plays
3. Sexual misinterpretations
4. Gimmicks/Games
1. Negs/Teases
2. Disqualifiers
3. Prizing-Frames
1. Challenges
2. Takeaways
3. Expressing boundaries
You: Don’t worry, if I get famous, I won’t drop you like a potato
Not all of your spikes will land. Some will get a huge reaction
from the girl. Others will be mildly impactful. Some will just go
over her head. Whether a particular spike lands or not, doesn’t
really matter. The important thing is to make them part of your
consistent flow of conversation and keep things varied
If you’re not used to flirting with girls and being a little bit
cheeky, and chances are that you’re not, most of these will
initially feel extremely foreign to you. You’ll probably read over
those examples and think to yourself things like ‘This’ll never
work! I would never say something like that. It’s so in-
congruent’. You have two options:
1. Keep doing what you’re doing and keep getting the same
results
2. Try something different to improve them
Negs/Teases:
Let me explain;
Dark – Light
Happy – Sad
Male – Female
Suppose for example a girl told you that she just quit her well-
paid, corporate job in order to follow her dreams of starting a
How about the fact that by quitting her well-paying job, she
sacrificed security to enter a high-risk venture that is
statistically unlikely to work (80% of business fail within the
first year). Well, now you have the content. But how can you
communicate in a playful manner?
‘You do know that 80% of business fail in their year right?….. I’m
looking forward to seeing you serving me chips at McDonald’s
a year from now’
99% of guys would never dare say anything like this, due to the
simple fact that they are afraid of offending the girl or being
rejected. But that’s the reason it’s so effective. You are subtly
implying to the girl that you have options and aren’t afraid to
risk her disapproval
In order to pull this off, you have to risk being offensive (same
goes for all the negative expressions). We’re beyond the point
of having to justify why spiking emotions is essential, so
regardless of how uncomfortable you feel right now even
imaging yourself saying these types of things, just go with it
Clothing:
This is an easy one. Suppose that the girl is wearing some sort
of unusual item of clothing or a funky pair of shoes
This one is a little more risky, and unless your delivery and
subcommunications are flawless, I wouldn’t recommend doing
this one, as you will most likely offend the girl and blow the set
out
Light:
Moderate:
Her: Yeah usually but I haven’t been working out for a few
months now..
Heavy:
[If she doesn’t have any makeup on] -> ‘I like how you rolled to
the club straight out of bed..’
[Talking about food] -> ‘I think you need to cut the McDonald’s
and go back to squatting’ (warning: only attempt on skinny
girls)
Location/Background:
Her: Yep!
You: It’s funny I kind of just assumed everyone from there was
super smart… but then I met you
[French] -> I never would have guessed… coz you’ve actually got
a smile on your face (implying French people/girls are stuck-
up)
[Russian] -> ‘Yeah I can see the Russian in you….. The resting
bitch face is a dead-giveaway’
Attitude:
[She’s acting a little shy/closed off] “You don’t really get out
much, do you? Most Friday nights spent at the library or…..?”
You: Yep I can totally tell. I bet your idea of doing something
horrible is turning in your homework in late
Preferences:
Profession:
Situational:
[She’s shopping] -> ‘Is that all going on Daddy’s credit card?’
[If she’s older than you] “Are you already living with 20 cats or
are you gonna wait a year till you turn 30 to get them?”
Disqualifiers:
For example:
• You’re way too nice for me. I’ll just end up corrupting you. I
need a girl who’s more of a challenge
• You’re really nice and everything, but just to let you know…
I have a rule against dating blondes. So don’t get any
funny ideas
• [She shows some indication of interest] -> wow, slow down
there. I have a girlfriend
• Oh you’re into [insert whatever], I can already tell you and I
won’t get along
• Aww you’re so cute…. But we could never be a couple.
We’re too much the same… we would fight and throw
things and have incredible make up sex all over the place
and fight more, than sex/fight, sex/fight… too much drama
and intense feelings for me
• [You disagree about something] -> I don’t think this is
gonna work. You need a nice guy you can walk all over
• Hmmm, you’re actually pretty cool. Too bad I’m not into
Notice how these all sounds pretty similar. That’s because they
are. Once you boil them down to their essence, it’s now no
Prizing Frames:
And that mentality goes something like this – ‘Hmmm ok, she
is attractive, but I’m not sold yet. She meets one of my criteria,
but let me go find out if there’s anything more to her. If there
isn’t, I’m happy to walk away at any second’. In that sense,
you’re going up there with the intention of finding out if she’s
good enough for you, not the other way around. You shouldn’t
be sold on the girl instantly, just on the basis of her looks.
[Her friends come into the interaction] -> ‘Oh thank god you
guys are here, your friend has been trying to hit on me for that
last 10 minutes’
[If a girl makes eye contact with you] -> ‘You know it’s super
rude to stare and not say hi’
[She touches you] -> ‘Wow, wow… slow down there. I’m not that
easy…. At least take me out to dinner first
-> Damn I’m not an object… I’ve got more to me than just this
amazing body
[Making out, then you pull away] -> “Are you just using me for
my looks?”
[Telling you about a beautiful place she’s visited] -> ‘Oh yeah the
view there is definitely really nice. I mean, not quite as good as
the one you’re getting by looking at me at right now though’
[She playfully gets upset at one of your teases and tells you to
‘walk away’] -> ‘Hey listen, if you want to check out my ass you
can just ask’
[She lightly touches you] -> ‘You don’t need to make any
excuses if you wanna touch me… you can just ask’
[‘You’re an asshole] -> ‘Oh, how long have you been attracted to
assholes for’
[You have so much chest hair!] -> ‘Oh what do you like about
men with chest hair’
[She offers you a drink] -> Are you trying to get me drunk and
take advantage of me? Jeez you girls are all the same
‘Listen I have to go home now because I’m a busy man with shit
to do…. But please… try not to obsess about me’
[She finished telling a story] -> Did you just came up with to
impress me?’
‘Is there a reason you came out tonight – other than to hit
on extremely charismatic and devilishly handsome young
Australian men?’
‘Phew, so nice to talk to a girl who isn’t trying to flirt with me’
Takeaways
Think of it like this – suppose you want to play fetch with your
dog (no, I’m not comparing women to dogs, this is simply an
analogy to help you grasp the psychology). You walk into the
room, your dog is in the corner being lazy – you grab the chew
toy and throw it – ‘Fetch, Chester! Fetch!’. What’s the most
likely outcome in this scenario? Chester is probably not going
to give too much of a fuck about the chew toy and continue
doing his own thing. However, what if instead of just throwing
it, you were give it to Chester, let him bite on it for a little
bit, experience the joy, then take it away from him when he’s
enjoying it the most, and throw it away? You can bet, he’ll go
chasing it like his life depended on it
The risk, however, comes from the fact that the girl can call
your ‘takeaway’ bluff at any minute. If you go quiet during a
conversation and do a little body sway away from her direction,
there is every chance that she’ll just walk off. If you walk out
of the bed mid-escalation to check your email, there is every
chance that it will kill the entire mood for her.
Level 1:
• Active disinterest
*Back turn*
Level 2:
[Approach new girl with current girl next to you] – ‘Hey, Sandra
[insert name of original girl] here wants to take me out on a
date…. can you recommend any good places for her to take out
me to?’
Challenges:
It’s true of all humans (not just women) – the harder we work
for something, the more highly we value it. That why eliciting
investment is so important – and you have no more powerful
tool in your disposal at doing so than challenging. Although
technically several of the previous techniques, including
teasing and disqualifying do constitute some form of
Now that this memory is fresh in your brain – how exactly did
they achieve this?
And how did that make you feel? Good? Excited? Alive?
Motivated to step things up?
You: Oh god… you’re not like other French girls are you?
Expression Of Boundaries:
1. Humor
For this, you have to be calm, positive, and relaxed. Quick wit is
the best and the most viable way to put people in their place.
For Example:
You: Were you raised in a cave or what? Get your own food!
2. Controlled
3. The Look
4. Aggression
You: What the fuck?! Are you retarded. Cut that shit out
Her: [aggressively bites your lip for the millionth time while
kissing after you asked her to stop]
Self-Amusement:
It’s not
At least not in the way that they are doing it. My interpretation
of self-amusement is not that of a ‘technique’ but rather of a
The first thing that springs to mind when you think of self-
amusement is probably being loud, obnoxious and the life of
the party, and this can sometime happen as a result (when we
really let go), but it’s not necessary
Something pops into your head -> You get curious -> You do it/
say it -> You see what happens
Role-Plays:
Let’s talk brass tacks. I’m going to break it down into 3 sections
1. Themes
2. Structure
3. Examples
Themes:
1. Sexual chemistry
Structure:
For example,
You: Well, the good news is , you may have just found yourself a
teacher…. [Setting up the transition]
Her: Maybe
You: Well… I guess we’ll have to work out some other form of
payment [segue into role-play]
Her: Well, I usually look better in black, but I think you’ll like
my red. It’s a little naughtier [she’s playing along firmly by this
point]
You: Well… good thing I met you while you’re still in need of
an English teacher. So what do you usually do when you’re not
hitting on charming men like me? [segue out]
Her: Oh thanks!
You: Yeah it’s a bit of a unfair really, you’ve got the two best
looking people [point at you and her] in this little corner,
hogging all this beauty to themselves
Her: [laughing]
You: That girl is totally checking out my ass…. You’re gonna have
to pretend to be my girlfriend if she approaches…
Her: Well, if it’s to protect you, sure [puts her arm around you]
Her: [laughing]
You: Don’t worry, I’ll show you later when we’re in private and
you have me all to yourself…[pause] Alright now get those dirty
thoughts out of your head – what are you up to this weekend?
Sexual Misinterpretations:
Firstly I’d like to point out that whilst around women, it’s very
polite to talk about things other than sex. Polite, but not
arousing
Being attuned to these is the first step, and from there you
actually have to take those opportunities and re-frame sexually.
There are two types of sexual misinterpretations; softballs and
regular. Softballs refers to those instances when the girl sets
you up for the misinterpretations by stating something vaguely
sexual
For example
Or
• Wet
• come
• Sweat / sweating it out
• Alone / lonely
• Hard/It’s really hard
• Going to bed
• Feeling hot
• Tense / needing to de-stress
• Soft skin
• Bath / shower
Games/Gimmicks
Disclaimer: I did not come up with any of these. They all are old-
school routines that you can find online.
1. Fuck/Marry/Kill
An extremely simple game that will inject some gust into any
interaction. The objective is to pick three people in the
environment and ask the girl which one of those she would kill,
Bonus Tip: She’ll usually then want to put you in the same
position and pick out 3 girls. Usually an extremely attractive girl
and two regular girls. Your best option is to ‘kill’ the stunner
– you immediately stand out from every other guy. When she
asks you why, respond something like ‘Yeah, she’s hot… but
really, she doesn’t look fun to hang out with. She probably
walks around with a stick up her ass.’ This is a very effective
way to communicate that you have standards and boundaries,
which is very attractive, whilst simultaneously qualifying and
rewarding the girl you are talking to by implying that she’s not
like that
2. Strawberry Fields
3. Roller-Coaster
You go to roller coaster line – How long do you wait to get on?
(Representative of how much time you want foreplay)
Cold-Reads:
Here are a few basic rules that will help you learn how to make
your cold reads more believable and complex
‘Though most people don’t think before they act, you almost
spend too much time thinking before acting’
2. Opposites
“You seem like the type of girl that at times can be lazy or
lethargic, while at other times, when you are doing something
you’re interested in, you work like a maniac.”
3. Approval
1) You have a strong need for others to like and admire you
3) You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not
turned to your advantage.
It’ll only work about 50% of the time, but when it does land,
it lands HARD! They usually start giggling like crazy and even
getting their friends involved ‘Oh my god! You’ll never guess
what he just said…’
It’s one thing to tell a girl that she’s interesting, it’s another to
make a point of it and let her know that you are she inspires
you in this regard.
“You’re just such a giver. You always place people close to you
above yourself. It’s so rare for anybody to do that these days,
and it’s just really makes me feel drawn to you”
And women are attracted to a man who bends the world to his
will, rather than one who bends to fit into the world. In terms
of archetypes, that could be the King who provides leadership
and organization, the Warrior who enforces through pure will,
strength and dominance, and even the Lover who inspires
through Joy. In this case, we are utilizing the Magician. The
idea is to illustrate to the girl that you are able to see the
world for what it is, with penetrating clarity, aware of the subtle
undercurrents around which most people are blind to and let
dictate their entire lives. You can see past the ‘matrix’. What she
may perceive as overwhelmingly complex, you see as bright as
day.
Some people see a young lady with her head turned towards
the background while others see an elderly woman’s side
profile. Once you see the other perspective, you can’t unsee it.
This is what you’ll be doing to the girl on a grand scale. Offering
a perspective she’s never considered before. And once she’s
seen it. She can’t unsee it
• My values
• My knowledge
• The organization of my thought
• My certainty in an uncertain world
When you find yourself in any given social situation and just
happen to say the right thing at the right time and have
everyone in the room in stitches – do you self-congratulate and
give yourself a pat on the back?
No.
Level 1 hoops:
Level 2 hoops:
Level 3 hoops:
If, on the other hand, she responds with something like ‘Well,
I’m currently entering a new field in etc….’, and you get a sense
that she cares about what you think, that’s an investment-
heavy answer
Fairly simple
Investment Process
It’s a fairly simple process, yet the absolute most powerful and
optimized way to trigger extremely high levels of investment
and buy-in from the girl I’ve ever come across in my 10,000
hours invested into this. If you can pull it off, you will be able
to fast-track that entire process and get her jumping through
legitimate level 3 hoop a few minutes into the interaction
Here’s an example
You: Okay, that’s actually pretty cool. I like the fact that you
enjoy challenging yourself in such an intellectual capacity. Most
girls tend to try and breeze on their looks alone.
You: Okay well what’s the subject you found the most difficult
when taking your final exams and trying to get into Yale?
5.5 Examples:
1. Regular Examples
Example #2:
Her: Well, actually back home I’m a really good student. I have
a high grade point average. But here, I only really need to pass
because it doesn’t contribute to my grades back home. So I’m
a lot more relaxed about it
Example #3:
*Non-compliance*
Her: [Puts her drink down, ties her hair up and waits for me to
evaluate]
If you think this sounds cool written, you should it play out in
real life. This is simple psychology, but it feels like legitimate
Jedi-mind control.
Example #4:
You: It’s too bad. I’m just not really into South American girls.
[Initially have my arms around her waist, then remove them as
I deliver the line]
*Playful challenge*
You: Alright, let find out for sure….. When you’re having sex, do
you usually scream ‘ohhh yeah daddy!’
*Hoop*
Her: [Leans into me] Well they were together until I was 2, and
Her: Well I…
You [Cut her off] …And please don’t tell me bottle service girl or
stripper
You: [Cut her off] I REALLY hope that’s not just a fancy way of
saying ‘I’m a table girl’
Her: No, well the way it works is that one of my best friends
is the director of operations for [club] and I went to college
out here etc…. [goes on for another few minutes with more
investment]…. and when I moved back out here all my friends
were already married with kids etc…
You: [As soon as she mentioned her friends are married with
kids] Are you jealous?
Her: Yes
You: [tap her stomach lightly] I can put a kid in here tonight if
you want..
You: Damn.. I like the fact that unlike most girls here you’ve
actually got some real things going on in your life
*At this point, I was really pushing it, and needed to offer up
some kind of reward. Otherwise it just would’ve been pushing
it too far*
Light Touches
Moderate Touches
• Lifting her up
• Neck kiss
• Make-out
• Grinding
• Touching her hair
• Getting her to sit on your lap
• Use your imagination…
Obviously take this with a grain of salt. I’m not saying NEVER to
kiss a girl in the nightclub. For instance, if you meet a girl with
extremely high buying temperature, and you’re looking to pull
quickly, it would be fine
If you feel like it’s something you want to do, I recommend one
of the following:
If you kissed her under some sort of premise, you can use that
as a role-play
*Make-out for a few seconds, no longer. Then pull out of the kiss
first and take a step back*
You: And then…. I’d probably foul and injure you so you couldn’t
play anymore [physical and verbal ‘push’. Re-creates the sense
of tension]
2. Neck Kiss
Her: Sure
-> Brush her hair out of the way and lightly kiss her neck.
The first caveat here, and observant readers would have already
picked this up by now, is having the awareness to understand
that any time you use a ‘sexual expression’ you are imposing a
sexually explicit frame onto the interaction. And in order for the
girl to accept that frame, some level of compliance is required.
As opposed to other expressions like disqualifiers where you
can use them at will throughout the interaction. For example, if
you were to say something like ‘If it weren’t for all these people
around us now…. I’d rip your clothes off and do incredibly
naughty things to you’, there are 3 potential outcomes, as just
there would be with physical expressions. This is referred to as
the ‘traffic light’ analogy
Level 1:
Level 2:
Her: A month
You: Okay, really important question….. what color bikini did you
wear.
Level 3:
Level 4:
However, with that being said, it’s just not humanly possible
run a textbook perfect interaction every single night out. As
you improve, you’ll get closer and closer to it, but there will be
nights where you won’t be able to get a girl begging to come
home with you (shocking, I know). However, that doesn’t mean
you can’t get results every night you go out.
8.2 Contingencies
Usually she’ll begin qualifying, saying how she pays for her own
things, and actually lives with a couple of other people – or
whatever her logistical case may be
This would be our best scenario after our ideal. It’s quite clearly
‘on’ (she’s comfortable being physical with you, is enjoying your
company, etc..), just not enough for you to go back to yours
without any complications. Nonetheless, she has been
compliant to various things throughout the interaction like
making out, bouncing around the club with you and
introducing you to her friends. Usually the issue here is that her
‘hindbrain’ is screaming out for her to leave with you, but it’s
being overpowered by her ‘forebrain’ – you know, that one that
tells her that going back home with a guy makes her a slut.
Here’s how you should be looking to deal with the situation
For example
‘Oh damn… okay you actually seem cool. You should definitely
join us for the after-party later’
• Drinks
• Food
• Smoking
• After-party
• Quiet Place: ‘I’d love to just chill and get to know you
better in a quiet place. It’s so loud and chaotic here’ (my
favorite)
Here are some tried and tested lines that will maximize the
chances of the girl complying:
“You know what. The drink prices are ridiculous here. I was
gonna go back and have some at mine. Do you wanna come
with? If it sucks, we’ll come straight back”
“How would you feel about coming back to hang out with me
for a little bit?”
3. Objection Handling
This part is far more important than any of the lines of used
to frame the seed or pull. Regardless of whatever excuse you
provide her with, she’s probably going to drop at least an
objection or two when you pull the trigger. This is more for her
own sake than for any other reason – she doesn’t want to feel
Before we jump into it, let’s first take a dive into the psychology
of influence.
So this one isn’t taken from Cialdini’s book, however you only
need look around you the last time you purchased something.
The most effective way to push the potential customer off the
fence?…. Make them feel like they literally have nothing lose.
How? By offering them a no questions asked, money back
guarantee
Let me explain
Unless you are already slaying, the most common scenario that
you will tend of encounter at this beginning/intermediate
stage of your journey, are girls that, for whatever reason (usually
because of your sub-optimal game), will only provide you with
a moderate level of compliance. Meaning that they like you,
they enjoy getting to know you, but they are absolutely not
going to ditch their friends to come home with you. The
investment simply isn’t there, no matter how good your
objection handling is. It’s of absolutely crucial importance for
your own growth, as well as for your results, that you don’t let
these interactions go to waste and actually make something
out of them
Be honest
I’m guessing 0-1. Or some other terrible ratio. Worry not, this is
the case with just about every other guy. Getting numbers at a
nightclub is, by most accounts, a useless endeavor (you can try
seeding the date all you want, it’s not going to help). Even if the
interaction seemed to go amazing or she even if she investing
her ass off for 20 minutes, phone numbers in a nightclub mean
absolutely nothing.
• Her bedroom
• Her place
• Her front door
• A late night restaurant
• Her uber/taxi/bus
• Outside the front door of the club
A phone number that you get INSIDE the club will mean
nothing. However, the further you progress the interaction
beyond the nightclub, the more solid that number becomes
– and at an exponential rate too. For example, suppose you
had an fairly solid 20 minute interaction with a girl and were
about half-way through phase 2 investment – and for whatever
reason her and her group decided to leave the club
If however, you simply walked with her outside of the club and
said goodbye to her there, that number goes from 20% to 50%.
Still not great, but at least you’re in with a shot now
If you took it one step further, and walked her to her uber/taxi,
that would jump to 60%. A little better
If you took her for food, it would jump to 70%. Solid now
You see, it’s fairly tempting once you’re at her place to just try
In order to really drive home this point, I’d like to share with
you a personal anecdote from my early stages in game. I was
out on a Wednesday night, experiencing what I would say is
a fairly average night. At about midnight, however, sometime
changed.
This ignites a 30 minute along, epic Amog battle. He’d get her
attention, then I’d redirect it towards me, he’d get her jumping
through some hoops, then I’d do the same – until, and I’m not
ashamed to say, he won out. He was simply too charismatic
and socially intuitive for what I could deal with at the time.
Eventually he ends up bouncing her somewhere else, and I’m
left there ruminating on what could have been
Well…. Not exactly. I’m not done and dusted just yet. It’s
probably going to be another month before I come across a
girl this hot again. I’m not going to give up quite that easily.
Throughout the night, I make sure to keep my eye out for the
front door of the club, so that I can see who is leaving and
when. About 30 minutes after this ‘amog battle’, I see that this
same girl is leaving the club with her friends.
I spot my opportunity and I take it. I walk out at the same time.
Not ‘pulling’ her. I just ‘happened’ to be leaving at the same
time. As I do so, I re-engage her. I quickly screen for what her
plan is and how she plans on getting home. She’s with 3 other
friends at this point. They plan to get a taxi home.
‘Oh you know what… I’m actually driving and that’s on my way.
I can drop you guys off if you want’
After having read that story, you may be thinking – ‘well, you
were already outsider her place…. Why settle for the number?
Why no just try to get in her place and try and escalate towards
sex? Or even escalate in the car’
Now that we’ve covered all of our bases when it comes to the
‘tactical’ side of things, let’s take a look at ‘strategy’. In the
traditional sense, strategy is seen as the overarching game plan
to achieving your long-term goals. It is the pathway or bridge to
your goals. While tactics are the more concrete, smaller steps
that allow you to actually cross that bridge
Tactics are the way you run your interaction (i.e Compliance-
Investment Dynamic), and strategy is the way you run your
nights out as whole.
Let’s dispel this myth once and forever – most girls with
boyfriends do NOT cheat. Most girls are dating a guy because
they find him attractive and he brings massive value to their
lives – and they are already massively invested into him. There
As a side note, let’s bust another myth: When girls say they
have a boyfriend they are NOT shit-testing you. They
legitimately have a boyfriend.
Once you’ve made a decision, it’s crucial that you commit and
see it through. The reason 99% of the people in the community
leave empty handed most nights is because they spread
themselves too thin, approach too many girls, and ending up
not spending enough time with any single one of them to build
the required level of compliance
The most obvious solution is just to stick in set. She goes to the
dance-floor? Go with. She goes to grab a drink? Go with. She
wants to speak with her friends? Make it a group conversation.
Most guys get rattled and leave set at the slightest
inconvenience. Pickup is messy. Deal with it. In the beginning
this will be extremely uncomfortable to do, but you just have to
endure the social pressure until you build a tolerance towards
it
9.6 Re-approaching
The other, and more subtle and important point that often gets
overlooked, is re-approaching. About 50% of my pulls come
from girls I have re-approached multiple times throughout the
night. It’s likely that at some point, for whatever reason, even if
you do persist by sticking in set, the girl will leave.
This is not the end of the interaction. If you think in this one-
dimensional capacity, you will get left behind, along with most
other guys in this community. Most times, unless she explicitly
states something like ‘go away, I don’t want to talk to you’, her
walking away to attend to something else, is not a rejection.
Think of it this way – If Steve Jobs (back when we was still alive)
was looking to a recruit new, young, ambitious engineer for
Apple and when first contacted that engineer turns down the
job offer, what do you think he does from there? Give up? Go
look for a sub-par replacement? No. He returns with another
offer. Until he gets his man. Each time he comes back to that
engineer, does it affect Apple’s market value? Absolutely not. It
remains steady
You’re driving along and the latest #1 hit that you’ve never
before starts playing on the radio. And your initial impression
of the song is not great. It’s tolerable, but you wouldn’t listen to
it in your free time. You don’t care too much for it. Throughout
the following weeks, the song keeps coming on again and
again, until one day, you find yourself humming, singing along
to it and actually enjoying it
This is also why you may ‘oneitis’ for that one particular girl
from your school, work etc… despite her being objectively less
attractive than many other girls you may come across at a
nightclub for instance. As you are exposed to her day in and day
out, you tend to develop a particular preference for her.
You get good at what you consistently focus on. If you spam
Also known as the ‘bitchy girl frame’. What you’ll find many
times with these girls is that even if you approach them doing
everything perfectly correct, they’ll give you a lot of attitude
and act out in rude and obnoxious ways. Some examples would
be
‘I don’t care’
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not actually ‘bitchy’ and she’s not stuck her. Rather, there is a
reason she acts this way
Is it having fun?
Is it her friends?
Most mainstream pickup gurus would have you believe so, and
they’re not wrong
It’s not fun. It’s not her friends. And it’s not meeting any guy
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humanity than this girl ever wish she could (this is all
hypothetical by the way. I’m in not way implying girls cannot
contribute significantly to society).
Then you have this 21 year old girl with some fake breasts and
a tight dress, and society dictates that within the nightclub,
this girl has more value than those two guys combined. Like
it or not, pussy is power. That’s just how society has laid the
standards out. The deck is somewhat rigged against you
And so, the more physically attractive a woman is, the higher
up she is on the societal and sexual hierarchy. These extremely
hot girls reside on the top of that hierarchy and because of that
have received numerous benefits throughout their lives which
have shaped their experiences, in a way that has not occurred
with the more average girls. And they know it.
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Her value immediately drops by association
With the more average girls, it’s not going to happen very often,
because they are generally happy to be meeting a cool guy.
They are not walking around with this mindset of trying to
‘preserve their value’ with every step they take. They know
where they exist on the sexual market value spectrum – and if
they meet a guy who is on their same level or above, it’s fine for
me to be seen flirting with him etc..
And so when approach the stunner, and you try to do all the
things we spoke about – expressing boundaries, prizing
frames, etc… (essentially expressing your ‘frames’/mindsets
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through these behaviors), it is inevitably going to collide with
her frame and subjective sense of the world (‘I’m above this
guy, all these guys should be chasing me etc…’). Hence you
have what is referred to as a ‘frame battle’. The way this
manifests practically is that whenever you do try to act out
your ‘alpha male’ behaviors, she will usually look to shut them
down – because they are not in alignment with her subjective
sense of reality. She’ll usually do so by congruence testing you,
ignoring you, turning away from you and giving one word
answers. Not just once. But consistently throughout the
interaction, particularly in the beginning. So expect there to
be a lot of silences, uncomfortable situations, and her just not
giving you much
On the other hand, you’ve also got guys who take it to the
very other extreme of ‘knock the bitch off the pedestal! Teach
the bitch a lesson!’ or ‘you have to put her in her place!’ and
overcompensating by becoming reactive and confrontational.
In a lot of ways, this is much worse than the first scenario.
It creates a lose-lose scenario. Both of you come out of that
interaction feeling worse than when you came in (no pun
intended), and it leaves you with a negative energy for the rest
of the night.
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‘dominate’ the frame and call the girl out when they encounter
this scenario – ‘Aye girl, cut this fucking shit. I know these
chodes let you step all over them, but this isn’t gonna fucking
fly with me’. Or something along those lines.
The way that you suck her into your frame and get her to drop
the shtick is not through ‘dominating the frame’. If you act out
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too aggressively here, or you straight out call her out on what
she’s doing explicitly, you will get into a confrontation 90% of
the times. 1 girl out of 10 may find this ‘ballsy’ approach a turn
on, but most times it comes across as reactive and triggered.
When you attack someone’s beliefs and sense of reality head
on, you are very unlikely to change them. In fact, you’ll usually
be reinforcing them. You need a more delicate approach
Every time you encounter her acting out in one form or another
– whether that be her verbally testing you or physically turning
away from you – you must hold your ground and not flinch.
Don’t take it personally and let it roll over your shoulder like a
joke. Your ability to see past the fact that she has to put this
front on should allow you to not become emotionally reactive
and not take anything she does or say seriously
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opponent wear themselves out, probe with some little jabs
here and there, and then when you spot an opening, going for
the knockout punch.
Also note that these type of frame battles aren’t just a ‘shit-test’
that you can pass and move on. Think of it as a consistent flow
of various test over a more extended period – about 10 minutes
before you’ll be able to properly break through. 10 full minutes
of a girl acting out in this drawn out, bitchy manner may sound
like a lot. And it is. Most guys can’t handle 30 seconds.
But each time she throws one of these tests at you, and you
deflect, her facade wears down further. There is always one
person reacting more in any given interaction. And by virtue of
you being completely nonreactive and remaining emotionally
consistent, she is the one who begins to react emotionally.
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Natural Personality Vs. ‘Persona’ When People Are
Watching
It’s not as if she enjoys acting like a bitch (well, maybe some
girls do). She wants to let go and have fun like all the other
girls. You need to be able to create an environment where it’s
okay for that to happen – where the appeal of the fun, jokes,
excitement, good emotions and adventure is just too much
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for her to resist. To the point where she becomes sucked into
your frame and drops this facade completely – at which point
she’ll become incredibly bought in and you can basically start
eliciting some high level investment and move things forward
very quickly
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Her: Belgium
You: A tiny village with cows and chickens running around the
place [I just fuck around and say the first thing that comes to
me]
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You: I don’t think any tourist has ever been there…. [Up until
now, she has tried to take control of the interaction by
dominating it and trying to get me to react. Which I haven’t.
This is the first time I’m challenging her back. And it’s a very
small challenge. Start small)
Her: Yes! It’s most of the most visited cities in Belgium. It’s
called the European capital… [She qualifies a bit, still in a very
serious tonality. But at least she is reacting to me a little now]
Her: Ah come.. No. Beer. Beer. They make good beer [She
qualifies a little again. Still being overly serious in her
demeanor]
You: How long have you been here for? [small hoop]
Her: I’ve been here since September and I’m leaving in 3 weeks
You: Are you gonna miss me? [I try to introduce a slightly sexual
frame, but it clashes with her ‘hot girl blase’]
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You: Damn it, you’re breaking my heart. Every step of the way
girl [I exaggerate it again]
You: Nah I don’t wanna touch you. I don’t know you well
enough…. Maybe if I got to know you a little better, I would
consider it but definitely not now. [I re-frame it and don’t
accept her prizing frame]
Her: What?! What do you mean [Her tonality jumps a bit here.
She gets a little reactive. She is showing some chinks in her
frame]
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You: I mean, I can’t really understand what you’re saying…. But
that’s what makes it cute [Add a playful neg to balance out the
sexual expression and pass the test]
Her: *Begins to laugh and smile* Are you kidding me? You’re
talking to me but you don’t understand what I’m saying? [This
is the first time she is legitimately smiling and laughing. Her
frame is beginning to buckle slightly]
You: Yeah… It’s like I’m talking to myself. But it’s alright. I like
talking to myself [Another small neg]
You: I’m just fucking around [add some empathy and de-
escalate] Have you met a lot of Australians?
I’m just starting to win her over here, but her friend enters the
interaction and they begin talking to each other in a different
language. I decide to let them hash out whatever it is, and
thought I had done enough for her to re-engage me
afterwards. So I just stick around, not really saying anything
while they talk. I’m comfortable with just standing there
in silence
You: *Tap her on the shoulder as she begins to walk away and
she turns back around* Smoking is really bad, you’ll get cancer
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She’s about a meter away from me at this point. So this is
the second time she’s began to walk away and I go after her.
Remember, neediness is not a behavior. It’s a mindset. And
throughout this entire situation, I was fully bought-into the
idea that being around me will make this girl’s life better. And
that was coming off in my demeanor. There was no sense of
neediness or hesitancy in what I was doing
Her: You love me too much… you wanna follow me [Notice how
she slightly buckled before by laughing and smiling but has
now regained some composure. She’s back trying to frame
herself as the prize]
You: I can already see it. Around your eyes [Ignore her attempt
at prizing and completely brush it off]
You: What’s your name… I forgot [I don’t move, but just speak
loudly]
You: Yeah that’s fucking right you little hypocrite [call her out
on it]
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Her: Cracks up [Her overly entitled and bitchy frame buckles
again and she begins giggling uncontrollably]
Her: *High fives me* [She’s having fun now, she’s dropped the
act, and is sucked into my frame]
Her: *Nods*
You: But you can’t tell anybody okay… because I’m really shy
You: *Brush her hair out of the way and kiss her neck lightly*
You: But wait, you’re still at university back home right… what
do you study [hoop]
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of what it may be like. There will be times where it may be a
lot short or a lot longer, with various different types of tests –
including more non-verbal ones.
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