Dear Therapist,

I was abused by my parents as a child and have limited contact with them now. I did try in my early 20s to have a relationship with them, but I saw no change in their behavior. In addition, they both flat-out deny the things they did, including dragging me by my hair from a dead sleep in the middle of the night down three flights of stairs, throwing me in the basement and locking the door, telling me repeatedly to do them a favor and kill myself, and beating me.

I try to maintain a relationship with my aunts, uncles, and cousins—who themselves have some problematic behaviors—but I find doing so difficult because they, too, tell me that my childhood wasn’t that bad and that I should love my parents unconditionally. They will invite my parents to events I will be at without telling me. If I find out and say I will not attend because I do not want to see my parents, they will tell me I’m being difficult.