It could be a neighbour, a friend, a distant relative or even the prime minister of the United Kingdom. . . In the months leading up to the birth of your child there are numerous opportunities for the name you have chosen to be used by someone else. Perhaps you’ll decide that it doesn’t matter so much — you might figure that your baby Jack will rarely interact with the other baby Jack — or perhaps you’ll reluctantly go back to the drawing board. (When Boris and Carrie Johnson called their daughter Romy in 2021, I know more than one person who crossed the name off their list for any future offspring.)
Deciding on a name for your baby can be fraught, and worrying about whether it could be “stolen” from you in the lead-up to the birth is only one factor to consider as you whittle down your choices.
“A baby name symbolises your wishes and dreams for your child, as well as your family identity,” says Pamela Redmond, chief executive of the popular baby- name website Nameberry.
When couples discuss what to call their baby it often brings up complicated issues, she says, prompting them to ask “such questions as how close they want to be with their families or how important their religion or cultural identity is to them; how they feel about gender and class, and how they felt about their own names and identities growing up”.
If you find yourselves constantly going over issues such as these as you are drawing up a list of baby names, it might be worth you sitting down to have some of those big discussions separately, Redmond suggests. “Then you can consciously decide what identity you want for your own new family and look for names that express that,” she says.
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Ask yourself if you are looking for a name that will help your child to fit in or ensure that they stand out? Would you like the name to honour someone in your family or nod to a historical or literary figure? Do you want it to reflect your heritage or faith? Does it matter to you if the name is already popular?
“It’s important to be aware of the messages your baby’s name is sending, and make sure they’re aligned with the messages you want to send,” Redmond says.
If you decide that you would like to choose a name that’s unique, then it’s worth checking out the data. The Central Statistics Office (CSO) releases a list of the most popular baby names in Ireland each year and it can help to pinpoint trends (the top picks were Jack for boys and Fiadh for girls in 2021).
Sometimes people think that a name is unique because they have yet to meet anyone with that name, says Redmond, but name popularity changes quickly and many names that are popular today didn’t exist when today’s parents were children. That’s why, if you care about whether or not you are choosing a unique name, it’s a good idea to look at the numbers. Helpfully, the CSO pinpoints new entrants to the top 100 list each year; these are likely to be names that feel unique right now, but might turn out to be quite popular over the coming years.
Then there are the conundrums that flummox even a name expert such as Redmond. What should you do, I ask, if you suspect you are “stealing” someone else’s baby name? Is it fair game? Or should you be sensitive, especially if you know they have a sentimental attachment to that name?
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“This is a very difficult issue and one we hear from people all the time,” she says, pointing out that it’s particularly problematic when the situation is ambiguous. “It often comes down to what’s more important to you, the name or the relationship with the person you’re ‘stealing’ from — it’s stickiest when it’s family or close friends. Does the oldest sibling have dibs on family names? Do actual live babies in need of a name take precedence over theoretical babies? These are questions without easy answers, even from a name expert.”
In instances such as this it’s important to trust your gut. And when it comes to naming your baby that’s a good overall strategy — of course you can study the data, swot up on meanings and origins and play around with potential nicknames and initials, but ultimately you should know when you look into your new baby’s squishy face that this is a name that feels right.
Children’s book of the week
An Slipéar Ghloineis an Irish-language retelling of Cinderella. Told through clever rhyme, the story follows Luaithrín as she finds a magical escape from her evil stepmother and her two awful daughters. IIllustrated by Paddy Donnelly and written by Fearghas Mac Lochlainn, the book is €12.95 and published by Futa Fata.
