The term ‘toxic’ has snuck its way into our everyday vocabulary like an uninvited guest who just won’t leave. Amid the vast tapestry of human connections, it is used to describe relationships that are more hazardous than harmonious, the ones that relentlessly drain you and offer little in return, leaving you in an endless loop of emotional chaos. We’re not talking only about instances of love gone sour but rather the many hues of toxic relationships we allow in our lives.
In this era of heightened awareness surrounding mental health and personal boundaries, there is one reality that often goes unnoticed: toxic friendships. Like any other intricate human relationship, they start off well but soon take the form of something that chips away at your self-esteem, bit by bit. Others around you might not have the same relationship with this poisonous friend, so don’t allow that to influence your decision.
Shobhika Jaju, psychologist and founder of Silver Linings: Guidance & Counselling Centre, Goa, highlights the red flags you should be mindful of: “A friend is someone with whom you can choose to be your unabashed, unadulterated version and, if you find yourself in a friendship where judgement, disrespect of boundaries and a lack of genuine support prevail, it might be a toxic friendship. Other signs that point to the presence of toxicity include being lied to or manipulated, betrayal of secrets shared in confidence and even being made fun of.”
Nurturing yourself is a vital part of any relationship and only by setting boundaries can you reclaim your authority and prioritise your emotional wellbeing. Shobhika breaks it down further: “In a toxic friendship, setting a healthy boundary can include giving the person only restricted access, muting or unfollowing them on social media so you are not constantly triggered, specifying very clearly what you are and what you are not comfortable with, and addressing a red flag the first time it appears without letting it simmer for too long.”
Here’s a few coping mechanisms to deal with a toxic friend:
- Take your time to try to understand why you are feeling what you are feeling, and to process your emotions.
- It’s essential to draw healthy boundaries with this friend; avoid contact as much as possible and reduce interactions.
- Try not to draw others into the conflict, as asking friends to choose sides will only make matters worse in the long run.
- Remember that friendships evolve over a period of time, and sometimes the closest of friends might turn toxic for us.
- Shift your focus inward and prioritise self-care rather than blaming yourself.
- In a situation where you decide to address the issue and the friend in question shows little interest in having a conversation, still go ahead and let them know how you feel.
- Take some time off from them as it will allow you to reflect on whether the friendship should be continued.
Also Read: The Road To Healing: Expert-Backed Ways To Break Free From Toxic Siblings
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