What I wish I could tell my boss: 'Before you became my manager, I loved my job'

Before you became my manager, I loved my job. My old boss was excellent – nurturing, efficient and kind. But because of personal circumstances she had to leave, and so you became our micromanager.

I discovered later that you were appointed because you were the “sweet, pretty blonde one”. Looks are deceiving: in reality you were a megalomaniac who micromanaged everybody in our department.

Once, at your request, I was asked to create a display in the main entrance, ready for our Ofsted inspection. I spent two weeks on that display: making slogans, creating word puzzles and finding images. Then you were not happy with it and it was torn down. You said it wasn’t “exactly what you asked for” – so two other tutors were forced to spend Friday night until after midnight working on another display before Ofsted came in on Monday morning.

Team meetings that you organised went on for 3-4 hours, often without any reason for the discussion. You would often arrive an hour late or not bother to turn up at all. Annual job appraisals were also forgotten: I clearly remember sitting waiting in a room for 45 minutes for my job appraisal. Eventually I went home. There was no email of apology, nor a rescheduling of the meeting – I simply did not have an appraisal for the following three years.

We used to be responsible for covering each other’s classes when someone was ill. This all changed when you arrived – if we needed to attend a medical appointment we had to ask permission and you would arrange cover. Only you didn’t. It became routine that you telephoned one of us at 11pm to cover a class at 9am the next morning.

Your behaviour made me and my colleagues so depressed that we felt like we were the failures. You were very good at carrying on as if nothing had happened, and no-one felt able to tackle you directly.

Eventually, I made an official complaint about you. Although you were spoken to, it didn’t have any effect. You seemed to breeze through life without any idea of the impact your unprofessional attitude had on other people.

The day I left was a huge relief. There was thankfully no party or night out with you. My teaching colleagues did arrange a small get together, but you were not invited. I wish I had told you what an arrogant, selfish, unprofessional and incompetent manager you were, but at the time I had neither the courage nor the strength – I was so ground down by you.

I have never regretted leaving, although I did regret leaving my students. After working for you, my confidence was dented – but slowly, I regained belief in my abilities.

I now have my own private tutoring business. It is thriving – and I am helping people of all ages from primary, secondary and adult education.

You taught me that life is far too short to work with people who do not value your knowledge, skills and passion.

• Would you like to write an anonymous letter to your boss for this series? Get in touch by emailing careers.desk@theguardian.com