Wikipedia:Peer review/Luna (Feid and ATL Jacob song)/archive2

Luna (Feid and ATL Jacob song)

Previous peer review

Currently a GA, but I want to upgrade it to FA. I don't want to make the same potential mistake I made here, so I'm nominating it here first. I think that in the rest of the criteria for FA the article has no problem, but the prose part is the most complicated for me. In additon, I want a mentor for this.

Thanks, Santi (talk) 02:58, 23 June 2024 (UTC)

@Pollosito: It has been over a month since this has been posted, with no response. Are you still interested in receiving comments, or can this be nominated to WP:FAC? Z1720 (talk) 06:27, 4 August 2024 (UTC)

@Z1720. I'm still waiting for any review, since this is not ready for FAC yet. Santi (talk) 00:07, 5 August 2024 (UTC)

@Pollosito: I suggest seeking a FA mentor who can give comments in this PR. I also suggest that you review articles at WP:FAC now: this will help you understand the FA criteria, and give confidence to others that you can ensure this article meets the criteria. It will also build goodwill amongst the other FA nominators, making your article more likely to be reviewed. Z1720 (talk) 00:49, 5 August 2024 (UTC)

Skyshifter

Prose overall could be improved; WP:GOCE could help.

• "song by Colombian" → "song by the Colombian"; "and American" → "and the American"; see WP:FALSETITLE
• Link extended play
• "Being the second song on which Villada collaborates with an American hip hop producer..." this is not in the body of the article
• "it was described as an effort to take the genre to the global level." This implied that the song's creators said this, but this was just one critic opinion. Should be clarified or removed
• ", relates" → ", it relates"
• "'Luna' topped and peaked at the top 10 the charts in eight countries respectively" confusing, maybe:
  • "Luna" appeared in the top 10 of the national charts of eight countries
• "the man tries to fix it by going back in time" so it was deliberate? The article says "but time repeats" as if it was sudden. I haven't watched the video so I don't know what is right.
• "calling it a video of love and hope under adverse circumstances" this implies that "the public and music critics" said this when it was just one critic. Should be clarified or removed
• "set list of his" → "set list of Villada's"
• The first sentence of "Background and reception" is quite convoluted; here's a suggestion:
  • A few months after releasing his fifth studio album, Feliz Cumpleaños Ferxxo, Te Pirateamos el Álbum, Salomón Villada released his first extended play, Sixdo, through Universal Music Latino as a surprise release on December 2, 2022.
• "It includes 'Le Pido a Dios'" doesn't seem that relevant?
• "On August 24, 2023, Villada announced on Instagram his sixth studio album, Mor, No Le Temas a la Oscuridad, and its track listing after the release of its single, "Ferxxo 151", and released it later on September 29." this is super confusing again. Here is a suggestion:
  • On August 24, 2023, after releasing the single "Ferxxo 151", Villada announced his sixth studio album, Mor, No Le Temas a la Oscuridad, on Instagram, along with its track listing. The album was released on September 29."
• "Continuing its end-of-year tradition" what tradition?
• Is the "I want you to enjoy it as it is" quote really necessary for this article?
• ", but" in the last see
• "Universal Latino released both the album and the song on December 1, but later sent the track to Italian radio as a single on March 1, 2024." The first part of the sentence implies that they were released separately, and there is no reason for a "but" here as there is no kind of contradiction. You can do:
  • Universal Latino released "Luna" as part of the album on December 1. On March 1, 2024, they sent the track to Italian radio as a single."
• "sound of the Colombian" — "the Colombian" is Feid? That's WP:Elegant variation and should be avoided.
• "from public" → "from the public".
• "for its plot, and" → "for its plot." It's better to begin a new sentence here
• "described that its plot" — remove "that"
• "tries to fix things with her" — what's "things"?
• That Paraguay number one seems relevant to be mentioned in "Commercial performance".

Skyshiftertalk 14:07, 29 August 2024 (UTC)