Talk:Big (Rita Ora, David Guetta and Imanbek song)/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Adog (talk · contribs) 07:38, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
I will take on this review. I have not explored editing songs too much, but I have dabbled in the past here and there. Plus, who does not like songs? I should have this review done on either Sunday, August 13 or Monday, August 14. Listen in! Adog (Talk・Cont) 07:38, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
Alright, alright. So I took a listen to the song to get the ~vibe~ for this review. I probably would say it is not my cup of coffee, but I can see how others might like it. The music video was fun, though the Gunna inclusion seemed out of place. Ok, so for the actual review, haha. The following are my suggestions for my first skim through of the article for grammar and sentence structure for the editor-at-large. If you feel that any of these suggestions are improper or not appropriate for the text, you do not have to change them:
Prose
[edit]Lead
[edit]It was released as the lead single from the EP for digital download and streaming in various countries by Atlantic and Warner on 12 February 2021 could be phrased as:Atlantic and Warner released it as the lead single from the EP for digital download and streaming in various countries on 12 February 2021.
"Big" garnered critical acclaim from music critics for the collaboration between the artists, the music and sound as well as ...
I would add a comma before "as well as".I know there are different ways of using commas before "and" depending on which English dialect is used (e.g. American vs. British). I do see discrepancies where there are both instances. I would conform to one or the other. For instance:... Sam Martin, Toby Green, and William Spencer Bastian, the latter four producing it alongside the DJs
employs its use, but... Lithuania, Switzerland and the United Kingdom
does not. These are in the lead, but there are other instances in the body.... the music video for the song premiered to YouTube .
"to" to "on" and fix spacing for punctuation.
Background and composition
[edit]I would break this large paragraph into two. It might be hard to follow for some readers. Likely break it at... new hook in less than 15 minutes". ¶ Atlantic and Warner released ...
Reception
[edit]While Sonia from NRJ noted it as a "well-paced [...] hit", the staff of Kiss FM viewed the song as a "musical statement [...] that certainly deserves its name"
. Having "while" start the sentence implies there are conflicting views. This sentence has both positives. I would move the word "while" before "the staff" for better phrasing.In a mixed review, Sara Elisabeth Nedergaard from Gaffa opined that the song "is not bad" but pointed out that Guetta's signature sound "never changes" and "may become a little tired"
I feel like this is weird to place between all the positive reviews. I would consider moving this to the end.The first paragraph of this section is also very large and might be hard for some readers to follow. I would consider breaking it into two. I will leave this up to you on how to do it. I would likely divide it into themes. I see a lot about their collaboration, the song itself, and how the two artists' flow works together.
Music video
[edit]To accompany the release, a music video for "Big" premiered to Guetta's official YouTube channel ...
"to" to "on"?Next, it shifts on Ora ...
"on" to "to"?Gunna makes his appearance performing ... may work better asGunna appears performing ...
Selene Morale from Los 40 highlighted the colorful and voluminous costumes in the video, which according to her create a contrast ...
I would add a comma before "her".
References
[edit]- 1, has an error for the reference. Possibly dead linked.
- I replaced it with another source. Iaof2017 (talk) 14:25, 2 September 2023 (UTC)
19, "Note: Select "2021 and 12 Feb 2021" has I believe a missing quotation mark, or a mistaken quotation mark was included here.
Additional comments or concerns
[edit]I would consider adding ALT text for the images.
For a first skim-through, very nicely written. I am gonna go for my nightly exercise and then read the article thoroughly for any problems that are possibly present. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 01:02, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
In the section, "Background and composition", Talking about the creation ... "Talking" does not feel like the right word. MaybeIn reference to the creation ...
oderDiscussing the process of the song's creation, Ora mentioned that ...
Spotcheck: In the same section, not sure if ref. 9 supports the passage:... with its lyrics cheering the moment of having a good time and the memories of crazy nights
. The source describes the meeting of the groups and how working with each other was a good time.Regarding this passage as well, ref. 4 matches exact words "having a good time" and ref. 8 roughly matches "memory of crazy nights". I would consider rephrasing these, or quoting them since these are not common phrases but words that describe specific aspects of the song. Generally, for phrasing, I avoid exact words in sequences of 3-4 plus from sources.In the same section, wikilink "mumble-rap" to Mumble rap.For the "Reception" section, I would vary the intro to some reviews per WP:RECEPTION. For instance, instead of leading with "Author of Publication stated so and so ...", you could do something like:A writer for the Official Charts Company, Jack White, labeled ...
oderWriting for Fun Radio, Nassim Aziki named it ...
In the same section, wikilink Commonwealth of Independent States.In the section "Music video", as with passage for refs. 4 & 8, so to ref. 35 for "thrilling of her career". A simple fix would be to find a synonym for "thrilling", or swap the words "challenging and thrilling".In the same section:... fleeing on horseback to reach a frozen fortress.[29][8]
Refs here are numerically backward.
Well written + verifiability
[edit]The article is very well written for its prose, with minor grammatical or sentence structure issues highlighted above. The article is verified by a list of reliable sources. The reference layout is good. The are no problems with the original research. Spot checks are all clear. Regarding copyright/plagiarism/paraphrasing, Earwig shows an all clear for quotes. Although, I have highlighted above small instances where the wording should be changed. These are minor but nonetheless important. I would go through the refs to make sure they are properly quoted or rephrased. Adog (Talk・Cont) 05:03, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
Broadness + focus + neutral
[edit]The article is broad enough and focused well on the subject. I learned a lot about Rita Ora and her song, heritage, and collaboration efforts with multiple individuals spanning continents. The article is neutral in tone, providing different views on the subject's music and video. Adog (Talk・Cont) 05:03, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
Images + stability
[edit]The article is stable, with no ongoing or active content disputes. The images are relevant to the article and have the proper paperwork. Adog (Talk・Cont) 01:02, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Iaof2017: as far as it goes, I am all done. The article was a great read! I learned a lot. I got some suggestions and things that should be addressed. Other than that, I look forward to possibly promoting it! If not addressed within 48 hours, I will put the article on hold. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 05:03, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
- Hey, sorry for the delay. I will start tomorrow. Thank you! Iaof2017 (talk) 23:13, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Iaof2017: You are good, and thank you for letting me know. I would have pinged you if a week went by to check up on you and see if you were around! :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 00:28, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Iaof2017: Hey! I wanted to ping you and give you a heads up, I will be departing for a mini-vacation from August 23-26. If you happen to get around to this review during that time, know that I will likely get back to you on Sunday, August 27. No rush since I know you said elsewhere you were on vacation as well. For a formal heads up. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 14:33, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- Awesome! I have seen you are working on the article. I just want to leave a note here just in case you need more time since it has been a bit since the article was put on hold. I will not ping you again; I have done plenty of that above. :P Adog (Talk・Cont) 15:01, 30 August 2023 (UTC)
- Hello Adog hope you're well. Sorry for the delay, the past few weeks have been particularly busy for me due to a vacation, which impacted my availability. However, I have fixed the issues now and if you encounter any further problems, please let me know. Cheers :D Iaof2017 (talk) 14:49, 2 September 2023 (UTC)
- @Iaof2017 Hey no problemo! So long as you are good, and the article is up to snuff, it is all good on the GAN-side! :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 21:29, 2 September 2023 (UTC)
- Hello Adog hope you're well. Sorry for the delay, the past few weeks have been particularly busy for me due to a vacation, which impacted my availability. However, I have fixed the issues now and if you encounter any further problems, please let me know. Cheers :D Iaof2017 (talk) 14:49, 2 September 2023 (UTC)