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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Red Alarm/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Niwi3 (talk · contribs) 23:15, 9 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Overall, a fairly solid article. Here are the issues I've found:

Lead

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  • Is it possible to expand the lead so it has two paragraphs of 3 or 4 lines each?
  • Given that information on the game is so thin, I struggled even to get a single full paragraph for the lead. I'm not sure what I could add to it without repeating too much of the article body. Any suggestions? JimmyBlackwing (talk) 23:49, 9 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Mmmm... I see what you mean. I tried to slightly expand it myself but in the end I just felt it was better to leave it as it currently is. It's not very long, but it summarizes the article nicely, which is the most important thing. --Niwi3 (talk) 19:17, 10 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • You may want to introduce Battlezone since readers might not be familiar with that game: "However, hardware constraints limited the visuals to bare wire-frame models, similar to those of Battlezone." -> "However, hardware constraints limited the visuals to bare wire-frame models, similar to those of the 1980 arcade game Battlezone."
  • "but certain publications praised it as one of the best Virtual Boy titles" -- Can you give some reasons why some reviewers felt it was one of the best Virtual Boy titles?

Gameplay and plot

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  • "becomes sentient and builds an army with which to wipe out humanity." -- I would simplify this to: "becomes sentient and builds an army to wipe out humanity"
  • "As a Virtual Boy game, Red Alarm features a red-and-black color palette and stereoscopic 3D visuals, the depth of which may be adjusted by the player." -- this should be moved to the first paragraph because it is gameplay presentation. Start the gameplay section like this: "Red Alarm is a shoot 'em up that takes place in a three-dimensional (3D) graphical environment.[1] As a Virtual Boy game, it features a red-and-black color palette and stereoscopic 3D visuals,[1][2] the depth of which may be adjusted by the player.[3] The game is set during the 21st....". Then start the second paragraph like this: "Assuming control of a "Tech-Wing" space fighter, the player seeks to destroy KAOS's forces and finally its mainframe.[4] The game is broken up into six levels,[5] each of which culminates in a boss fight.[4][6] The player uses the Tech-Wing's laser cannons..."

Development

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  • "Nintendo tried to 'maintain as much control as possible' over Virtual Boy game development, so that low-quality releases by outside companies could be avoided." -- No comma needed between the words development and so.
  • Again, you may want to introduce Battlezone.
  • I would rename the develoment section to "Development and release". Not a big issue though.

Reception

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  • I would consider the AllGame review as a retrospective review, so I would move it to the third paragraph.
  • "highlighted Red Alarm as one of the Virtual Boy's most visually impressive games, due to its polygonal graphics." No comma needed between the words games and due.

I think that's it. Please let me know if anything is unclear. Thanks. --Niwi3 (talk) 23:15, 9 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I did some small edits to the article and now I think it looks better. Feel free to change them if you don't agree. Alright, this is a pass. Keep up the good work. --Niwi3 (talk) 19:17, 10 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Development expansion

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This recent source (http://www.nintendolife.com/news/2015/12/feature_the_making_of_red_alarm_the_virtual_boys_answer_to_star_fox) has much more on the game's development czar 17:08, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]