Talk:Tropical Storm Yun-yeung

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	This article was accepted from this draft on 4 June 2024 by reviewer Ratnahastin (talk · contribs).

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Tropical Storm Yun-yeung is currently an Earth sciences good article nominee. Nominated by OhHaiMark (talk) at 16:35, 7 June 2024 (UTC)

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Short description: Pacific tropical storm in 2023

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Tropical Storm Yun-yeung/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: OhHaiMark (talk · contribs) 16:35, 7 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 22:31, 30 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I thought I'd review this, since I have a few GAN's open.

First thing, make sure you have all units in metric and imperial, so km/h and mph in this case, not knots, which is used more by the scientific community.
How did the deaths happen?
Where did Yun-yeung make landfall?
Can you link low-pressure area and UTC?
Minor quibble, but did PAGASA really "upgrade", or did it designate the tropical depression?
You didn't go much into the storm's movement or development. The archives has advisories - check out the prognostic reports from JTWC. That will help you go into more detail about why the storm moved and developed the way it did.
On what basis was the estimated peak intensity?
The Impact section has a lot of "would..." verbiage. When you're describing a typhoon, you can say "the typhoon caused", not "the typhoon would cause".
What exact rainfall records were broken, and from when?
The numbering is a bit odd in the impact section when you spell it out. It should be "10,000 households", "32 flights"
I think you mention the train part in two different sections. You mention "Some train lines were impacted in the Kanto region" as well as "Additionally, rides in the Tokaido Line, Uchibo Line and Gaibo Line were temporarily suspended.". Can you put the train stuff together?
A minor quibble, but you don't write about any actual damage, so I'm left wondering how there was over $10 million in damage. Was that the flood in Shinjuku Station? I would expect roof damage, or maybe crop damage, or some kind of damage, and the article doesn't get into quite enough detail.

So that's my review. Please let me know if you have any questions, @OhHaiMark:. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:31, 30 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've fixed most of the issues you pointed out. Is there anything else I need to do? OhHaiMark (talk) 14:41, 4 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Couple small things @OhHaiMark:

The units should be metric first, since Japan was the most affected country. Also, convert "15 meters"
Be sure to specify that the JMA designated it as a depression on the 4th.
On what basis was the estimated peak intensity? Dvorak technique, or direct measurements perhaps?
What happened to the 32 flights? It's not there anymore.
The only time you mention flooding is with the Shinjuku Station. Was there flooding anywhere else?

The article is getting better, but a few more issues here. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:04, 4 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've now fixed those issues! OhHaiMark (talk) 03:26, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I'm re-reading the article now. Here's a few glaring things that are still standing out.

There's no mention of the movement, or why the storm moved the way that it did.
You mentioned the wind shear being a deterrent, as well as "Despite that, conditions were still favorable for the system to intensify" - without saying what allowed it to still intensify
"It began tracking westward instead of north-westward, rapidly weakening due to the increasing shear." - did it really turn to the west?
The JMA best track has dissipation on September 8. I'm not sure where you have the storm lasting until the 9th.
Are there any more examples of flooding? You have 77 buildings and a train station getting flooded. Surely, some businesses, freeways, schools, or other facilities got flooded.
Here is a website showing more information (in Japanese). It has an exact number of the houses damaged, including how many were destroyed.
Given that there were over 100 landslides, did any of them do anything notable, like blocking roads or rail lines?
Have you searched Google for the storm's name in Japanese? The reason I ask is that the article is on the short side, but I do believe there's room for expansion.

♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 07:15, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]