User:ACebeiro/Primate archaeology/CKC29 Peer Review

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

ACebeiro

Link to draft you're reviewing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ACebeiro/Primate_archaeology?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template

Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

N/A

Evaluate the drafted changes

Lead

This lead section is clear, concise and compelling. It provides a good synthesis and overview of the article's topic. The lead mentions terms and concepts introduced in the later sections, but could potentially benefit from some restructuring to outline the article's later sections. All of the lead's information also appears in the body of the article.

Content

Most of the content is relevant and up to date. I think the beginning paragraph of the "Archaeology" section (discussion of the Eolithic, etc.) seems unnecessary for setting up the context for primate archaeology origins. Perhaps in the "Implications for the Study of Human Evolution" section, you can include a discussion of the bamboo hypothesis and explanation for the Movius line (perhaps after this sentence: "Organic tool use such as leaves and twigs in non-human primates points towards the also likely reliance on this type of tools by hominins.") Otherwise, the article's content is very meticulous, and has a broad array of information.

Tone and Balance

The article presents different viewpoints of different researchers, and does a good job of not explicitly stating your opinion. However, I think you can change sentences like these: "Primate archaeological research has been able to challenge the view that only stone tools could have played an essential role shaping human evolution." This isn't necessarily a true claim, since researchers also point towards things like dietary changes and organic technologies (rare, but still occasionally present in archaeological assemblages) as drivers of human evolution as well. Some of these things may be linked to lithic technology, but not necessarily. Perhaps phrasing sentences in this way: "Primate archaeological research has opened up further discussion on the roles that stone and non-stone tools play in human evolution."

Sources and References

This article's sources are all reliable and comprehensive. The links work well. As I recommend in "Content", your article would benefit from a discussion of the Movius line and bamboo hypothesis.

Organization

This article's sections and layout seem well structured, and the topics seem to flow together pretty well. There are a few grammatical and spelling errors (i.e. "Overall, primate archaeology helps too understand how early hominins used material culture", "Primate archaeology main focus is on the study"). The article also has multiple instances of passive voice. I think you can also make some of the sentences more concise (i.e.

Images and Media

The article's images do a good job of illustrating primate species and tool use. Where do the long tail macaque tool use and Oldowan stone tool images come from? Do you have to cite those in the captions? You could also add some images of the Tai rainforest and some of the other landscapes where primate tool use occurs. I think that would be helpful for readers to become familiar with the environments and ecologies.

Overall suggestions

Great first draft! I recommend the following changes:

1. Fix some of the grammatical and spelling mistakes throughout the article. I also recommend working on making the writing more concise (i.e. "Towards the end of the twentieth century archaeology shifted from a focus on typological classifications towards an interest in understanding the mechanisms behind the origins and subsequent evolution of stone tools." to "Near the end of the twentieth century, archaeologists focused less on typological classifications, and more on causes of stone tool origins and evolution.")
2. Remove some of the irrelevant information in sections (i.e. the Eolith paragraph in the first paragraph of the archaeology section)
3. You do a good job mostly of remaining balanced in tone, but keep an eye out for sentences like the one I mentioned in the "Tone and Balance" section.
4. I recommend adding some discussion of the bamboo hypothesis and Movius line, as those relate to your point on organic materials playing a part in human evolution.
5. Add some more images of the environmental context of primate archaeology (Tai Forest, Piak Nam Yai).