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Families Anonymous (FA)

Introduction

Families Anonymous (FA) is a twelve-step program providing support for family members or friends of those with a known or suspected problem of substance abuse, or related behavioral problems. Like other support programs such as Al-Anon and Nar-Anon, FA is group-oriented and is based on Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions as adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).

The Twelve Steps of FA provide a road map to achieve a more peaceful, happy, serene and productive life that is not focused on a loved one who has a substance abuse problem and/or other behavioral problems.

The Families Anonymous Program

Families Anonymous is a fellowship of concerned relatives and friends whose lives have been adversely affected by a loved one's addiction to alcohol or drugs, and related behavioral problems. Many of us has made the same statement at one time or another... "But I'm not the one who needs help!" It was obvious to us that someone else was the one with problems. Many of us were annoyed or shocked that the other person seemed to refuse help, and often resented our efforts to help.

Families Anonymous offers a constructive framework for us to deal with someone else's problems. We benefit from the shared experiences of other members, and realize that we are not alone in our situation. That realization, in itself, goes a long way in helping us to start feeling good about ourselves... and, amazingly, sets the stage for our recovery as well as our loved one.

History

In 1971, several Los Angeles families had exhausted all possibilities in their search for help in coping with the hard-drug problem sweeping through their communities.

Aware of the fine work of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al Anon, they decided to form a similar 12-step, self-help program to meet their unique needs and called it Families Anonymous.

As of 2009, Families Anonymous has about 215 US groups representing 38 states, and 46 international groups in 10 different countries.

Meetings

Each meeting is led by a different group member who selects a topic for discussion or arranges for a guest speaker. Leaders are rotated among those group members who choose to lead.

Most FA meetings last about ninety minutes, and follow a common format published by the FA World Service Board.

Meetings begin with introductions using first names only to preserve anonymity. The introduction s are followed by different members reading aloud five basic readings which form the foundation of FA. These readings are:

About Drug Addiction Four Destructive Forces The FA Twelve Steps The FA Twelve Traditions Helping

After the five basic readings, the meeting proceeds to either a discussion of a topic or a program step selected by that week’s meeting leader, or a short presentation by a guest speaker.

During the topic discussion, or after the guest speaker presentation, each member is encouraged to share their own experiences, strengths, and hopes. Members may choose to share (speak), or choose not to share. The only “rules” for our meetings is that members may not carry on a separate one-on-one discussion, they may not question or counsel other members, and they may only speak when recognized by the meeting leader.

At the end of the meeting, if the group chooses, they close by reciting the Serenity Prayer.

Virtual Meetings

In addition to face-to-face local meetings, FA offers on-line support through two avenues, the “E-Meeting” and “Meetings Without Walls”.

The E-Meeting is an email based discussion group, with each participant encouraged to post and/or reply to other postings.

The Meeting Without Walls is a regularly scheduled online voice meeting hosted on a voice server and utilizing free specialized software (Ventrillo) allowing members whose computers are equipped with speakers and a microphone or a headset to participate in a meeting.

Both the E-Meeting and the Meeting Without Walls are member operated, and are not moderated by FA in any way.

Virtual meetings are especially valuable to those who do not have a conveniently located regular group meeting .

Who Attends FA?

Most members are parents, grandparents, spouses, partners, siblings, uncles, aunts, friends, etc. of a loved one with a substance abuse problem and/or a related behavioral problem which is negatively impacting their lives.

The only requirement for FA membership is a concern about the use of mind-altering substances or related behavioral problems of a relative or friend.

Spirituality

Though the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions are the spiritual basis of FA, it is not a religious program. Regardless of each member’s belief (or lack of belief) the acceptance and understanding of a Higher Power is a personal, private choice.

Anonymity

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of the program. First names only are used. The personal stories shared in meetings are not repeated elsewhere. FA has no opinion on issues outside the fellowship, does not participate in public action groups, and does not lend its name to any outside enterprise.

Effectiveness

FA is focused on living comfortably in spite of unsolved problems, allowing our loved ones to accept and experience the consequences of their choices and actions, and, most importantly, getting out of the way of their recovery.

Group discussions usually focus on a specific topic, such as Expectations, Anxiety, Overprotection, or Co-Dependence. As members share their experiences – successes and failures – those going through a similar crisis find understanding and emotional support. While focusing on our feelings, attitudes, actions, and reactions towards other family members, we do not try to change those behaviors we find unacceptable, and which cause us pain and confusion. Rather, we learn new ways of dealing with our situation. Our experience is that when family members seek help, the “problem person” is usually helped as well.

References

Families Anonymous Web Site